DANTOOINE III – Shaeeah and Quad

So much had changed around the farm in two years, but nothing essential. Dad and mom still looked at each other with passion in their eyes. Jek was becoming a responsible young farmer, but still managed to tease her. Keeli was almost five and Crux was almost two. There hadn't been a moment's twinge of trouble in mom's pregnancy and she and Cut were talking about trying for another child before a child became impossible.

Jester and Saria still lived not far, but their twins were in the tantrum twos and Shaeeah tended to avoid them. Apparently fussiness didn't bother Jester, Saria or Kix. They, also, were talking about another child. Perhaps it didn't matter as much to Kix. He spent a lot of time in Issuya with Sinker, helping Chymdura as much as he assisted Saria and running a small orphanage. He was turning into an amazingly popular midwife on a planet trying to recoup from a devastating population loss. Shaeeah wished he would find someone to love although she wasn't hopeful. He was wonderful at medicine, at helping others, but froze when socially introduced to anyone, male or female, human, Twi'lek, Gran or Wroonian.

Sinker, please beyond belief at his luck, stayed in Issuya. Besides helping Kix with the orphanage, he had a job at the granary and Saria's apartment became his. He often sat outside on the porch, serene in the sanctuary of the little garden he had created there or practicing the exercises Saria had given him to improve his speech. He visited the farm often. The last time he had smiled and said he'd been invited to a party and he'd like to cut the visit shorter. By his blushes and smiles, a woman was suspected.

Sketch had finally returned with a grin, limping only at the end of a long day, and on crutches only when he was very tired. He ran often but not fast and not the distance his brothers ran. Usually, they slowed and paced him, talking and laughing. Jester and Saria welcomed him with love and kisses and the offer of sharing. Shaeeah had cried with gladness to see him walk off the ship. She, also, had welcomed him with kisses. Sketch had raised an eyebrow and Shaeeah wondered if she shared; she wondered if Quad shared. He had sat down one evening with Shaeeah and showed her the drawings he had done; pictures of cities and people. Then he brought out pictures of anatomy; he'd been commissioned to provide artwork for Verzhain's Guide to Joint Anatomy, 5th edition. The surgeon had seen his art while Sketch was recuperating and suggested he submit to Verzhain Guides Publishing. Sketch was proud of the job.

Chopper was staying for a visit but declared himself part and parcel of Fives' family. He hadn't married them, yet. He wanted as many of his brothers as possible to be at the party; and that meant Saleucami. Rex and Ahsoka would be coming later in the summer and Chopper was waiting for them in particular; like so many of the clones they were his first love and loyalty.

Saoha and Sula had two children in those small two years as well as Peach who was just leaving the tantrum years. Saoha's golden-hued little boy had Edge's silver-blue eyes. Edge's chin had trembled when he saw the child but no one knew what he and Saoha had decided. When they visited, about three times a year, Edge took over the care of the child.

Cody was already there for Chopper's party though he hadn't known about it until he arrived on Saleucami. He had changed a bit; he was whipcord thin and had new scars as well as a limp in the early morning; he admitted to being too slow to avoid a blast to his hip. It was his second visit. He had returned the year before bringing a cure for the unnatural aging. He'd already taken it to Shili and Dantooine and had, at that time, given the vials for Fives, Chopper and Sketch to Cut knowing they would return to Saleucami. He'd been unable to track Riven, Dare, Backup or Checkout and their vials were also handed over to Cut in hopes that one day they would visit home.

Jesse hadn't been with him but Cody had promised that Jesse would make it by late spring. Jesse did, bringing a dark-haired, brown-eyed sullen child of about four years with him. Told that Edge still spent time in the loft, Jesse had taken the child there and waited. Shaeeah brought them food Suu packed for the scared child, including the last of the yai-yai at the farm for the too-thin pair.

"He's one of the children conceived by Order 37. I call him Crys," Jesse told her as he crammed half the yai-yai into his mouth, washing it down with a gulp of blue milk. The boy was behind him timidly eating bread slathered with a mix of yai-yai and berry jam. "I thought, perhaps, Edge…" Jesse let the sentence fade. Shaeeah knelt and put her arms around his neck, tears in her eyes. He leaned into her. "It is so good to be home, Shaeeah. So good."

Edge and Cass had come to the barn with Riposte and Baffle. Edge had turned to the child and knelt on one knee beside him. "If you want, I'll be your father and Cass will be your mother. You'll be our oldest child. Jesse is part of our family and you will be part of it along with him and Riposte and Baffle. You will never again be hungry or alone." The boy had reached out and taken Edge's hand. Cass had reached out for Jesse's hand and he had given a soft sigh and leaned against her.

Edge never bothered with his psyc. He, Baffle and Riposte were happily married with Cass. Baffle had designed a beautiful house, more art than building, making the line between inside and outside ambivalent with removable outer walls and carpets of living moss along the boundaries. It had been built near the thermal pool and was often the site for gatherings of everyone. After two years, Cass was finally pregnant and her husbands were giddy with joy and almost afraid to touch her. Jesse, smiling, said he would stay at least long enough to see her child.

Numa had given her nerras until she was sixteen; if they did not find a wife before then, she would marry them. Boil had merely shrugged and Shaeeah knew he was secretly pleased. Waxer argued and bemoaned and was angry with Numa; until Cut had spoken four small, simple words to him. "Then get a wife." Waxer grumbled but did not seek out any other woman. Numa's lifeday was very close. She and Saria spoke often.

They had expanded to nysilim production; profitable and labor intensive. There'd been a pirate raid early in the second season; pirates plagued Saleucami because of the lop-sided population skewed to younglings. It had proved a profitable raid for her uncles who had stayed on the farm; almost every raider had a bounty on him, though it had been Suu, Numa, Jek and herself claiming the bounties.

Djinn got his arm amputated by the combine but played chase and tackle all the harder for it. Shaeeah had kissed him once, but she had dreamed of Quad. She apologized to Djinn for what she could not give him. Djinn tried to hide his sorrow, but wasn't good at lying. On the rare visits of Fives and family, Saoha spent time with Djinn in the small house he had built in the shadow of the big rock, near where Crux was buried.

Shy did not pass his psyc and tried to commit suicide in the thermal pool. Djinn found him, saved him, and held him when he cried. Sometimes they slept together for comfort, but nothing beyond that. Just as often Shy slept in his space in the house; where Shaeeah and Numa had once made a comfortable place for Sketch, near the heart of the kitchen. Shy gave his promise to never seek death again. When Cody saw him, he sighed. Shy still saluted like a rookie fresh out of Kamino. "He's never off-duty, Suu. Perhaps he should come with me and Jesse. We, at least, are in military-type situations. We could switch duties with him. At least in his mind." Suu had nodded sadly.

Shaeeah had asked Edge if he would escort her to Dantooine to find Quad. He'd nodded, brusque and silent as usual. Sula and Fives would take them there and wait for four days to determine if she wished to stay. Saoha, Chopper and the children would stay on Saleucami. Kix hesitantly asked to go along. Fives had grinned, laughing softly and nodded, then given Kix a hug that was less brotherly than lover-like.

Dad and mom handed her a season's worth of credits, Jek had given her a hug and a kiss. Kix had given her a small but genuinely useful medical kit. Like everyone else on the farm, she'd been given as much training in medical emergencies as he could provide. Rex and Echo had given her a knife two years ago, sharp and silver edged, as well as lessons in using it. Numa, Boil and Waxer had given her two years of training and if she wasn't the silent forest spirit that Numa could be, she was still very good.

Chopper had sighed softly as he glanced at Saoha who nodded then, grim-faced, he had taken Shaeeah to the farthest edges of the farm where the reaches of geothermal desert touched. They'd camped there for two days. He'd told her about his days as a trooper; told her about war, about desperation, about death. He told her about his scars. He told her about prison, about hate, desolation, pain. He had shown her how to take lives.

Shaeeah had cried to know these things. Until he taught her how to kill, she could still pretend it was an adventure. When they got back to the farm, she was angry at him, not speaking to him, ignoring him until the moment her foot touched the loading ramp of the ship. Suddenly realizing his gift she had whipped around, run to him and held him tightly, her fingers clasped in his short, silver-streaked hair. "Thank you, Chopper," she has whispered in his ear.

Entry onto Dantooine had been fairly simple and they'd landed on a sea of golden grass amid some permanent buildings surrounded by large tents which, in the wind, seemed to breathe like living creatures.

One of the first people she saw while off-loading supplies was Dub. His brows rose in surprise at seeing her, Kix and Edge in addition to Fives and Sula and he'd run up to welcome them. He babbled and laughed at himself for babbling, so pleased to see them.

"It's just a visit for me, Dub." Edge replied. "I have two children and another expected in a couple of months."

Dub started to run off to find Col, but Shaeeah's small hand in the crook of his elbow stopped him.

"Where's Quad?" Shaeeah softly asked and Dub was quiet. He looked down at the grass with a frown.

"He was in an accident, Shaeeah." He saw tears in her eyes. Chaynwa cried sometimes and he knew what to do when women cried. Softly, he hugged her. "He's not the same."

She cried out in anger. "Di'kut. The way you spoke, I thought he was dead."

"He might as well be, Shaeeah." Dub replied softly. "Maybe Sula can help, but the clan no longer counts him as a capable man."

"Did he ever marry anyone or have children." She asked.

"He was waiting for you. He talked often but never mentioned your name. Still, we figured out who he loved very quickly." Dub gave her a small grin. "How many women were there at the farm?"

Col was there by then, along with a boy that looked like him. "Colehn, please let your mother know we will have guests for several days. Dub, why don't you help unload?" The boy ran off and Dub moved to the ship's cargo area. "Shaeeah, I suppose you want to see Quad?" She nodded and he sighed. "Sula, would you come with us. Perhaps you can help him in some way."

"What happened, Col?" asked Sula.

"He was trampled in a nerf stampede." Col rubbed his forehead with a rough hand. "We lost two men, Leven broke his arm and Quad was trampled. But they broke the stampede."

Shaeeah nodded her face sad.

"What kind of injuries that I can help with?" asked Sula.

"He finds it difficult to speak or write. Countdown says its like Sinker but worse. We don't know if there's additional brain damage." Col grimaced. "At his best, he's not cooperative. You can't help with the broken back."

He caught Shaeeah's sharp intake of breath and put a comforting arm around her as they walked down the trail.

Shaeeah saw him, recognized him first. He was outside one of the tents on a low cot; his shoulders braced against a back rest, his hair shaggy, but not long.

"What's he doing with his hands?" Sula asked.

"Winding sium thread. It needs to be hand-wound." Col was quiet for an instant. "He can do that."

Shaeeah put her hands in front of Col. "I want to see him without you, Col. Or you Sula, if you can read him this far."

"What do you want, Shaeeah?" Sula asked. Shaeeah's brows curled down.

"Nothing." She said. "Read him for him or for you. But for me, nothing."

Col smiled. "He loved you, Shaeeah."

"But what will he call it now?" she asked, moving forward and leaving them behind.

Quad tilted his head slightly, recognizing someone's footsteps, but continued winding thread around the wooden spool, he was almost done. Sometimes his weak hand trembled and he had to slow down or stop, but he was useful. It was all he was good for now but it was something.

His brothers took turns caring for him now. He could do one or two personal matters, but that was all. Col, Countdown, Jaac and Dub were in camp at the moment; the others were out herding with Leven's family. Leven had married a large family and then won the most recent festival wrestling contest. Until the next season, the finest bantha bull of Dantooine was in his herd. Leven had invited his brothers to herd their bantha with his. He'd also invited two of Clan Dsayn's cows into the herd and Clan Dsayn had accepted, offering two extra cows for Clan Gwydr's 'work'. Col still owned Clan Dsayn for Layol and Clan Dsayn, embarrassed by his largesse, was still trying to return the riches without dishonoring the gift. Col had asked Clan Sylart about buying Ehveen's first year-marriage child into adoption. It was an intricate dance and Adwr loved it; loved telling Quad about it and asking his advice, planning his moves. Adwr was a patient man, to listen to Quad's stutterings.

Quad liked it best when he was under Col's care. Ehveen was more attentive than Dub's Chaynwa and there were the children. Quad couldn't take care of them, but they were generous with their hugs and two-year old Layol was very good at understanding what he needed, what he wanted. She often curled into his arms for a nap. Jaac's Bird would also curl up with him, rubbing his face with her soft fingers and whispering make-believe stories in his ear. Those were Quad's best moments now, the only thing he looked forward to these days, other than dying.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, probably Ehveen though it hadn't sounded like her footsteps.

Moment. It was what he meant to say. Of course it came out more of a moan with a hard, sibilant breath at the end. He finished the thread onto the spool and set it down.

She still had her hand on his shoulder and he turned his face to give her a smile, though he never really felt like smiling anymore. She was kind, a loving sister-in-law.

Except it wasn't Ehveen.

Quad trembled to see Shaeeah, his expression pure anguish. Then he turned his head away from her.

Go away. Go home. But it only came out a stuttering choke. He turned his head from her. She sat next to him. Fierfik! He couldn't even run away from her. She leaned her head against his shoulder. He didn't move except to tremble. Then he shuddered. He reached for her hand. She gave it to him and he brought it up to his head. Shaeeah must have thought he was going to kiss her hand, but instead he rubbed it against the other side of his head so she could feel the indentation at his temple, where bone had bent to the weight of an animal.

Go home, Shaeeah. He tried, but only broken letters came from his lips. She kissed him softly on his arm. He shook his head, grabbed her hand again, curled her fingers into a fist inside his hand, and hit his leg with her fist several time.

"Ded. Ded." The word came out close enough for her to understand even if he stuttered the doms. He looked at her. "Ded, ded. kwad, ded."

"Col's coming, Quad." She looked at his expressive brown eyes. She didn't need Sula to confirm that Quad loved her. His anger was sufficient. "Since we'll be his guests, I suppose I should let him introduce me around. It's me, Sula and Edge. Fives is shipside with Kix." She sighed. "Edge says he's quite happy at the farm. I just wanted one of your brothers as an escort." She smiled at him. "I feel safer." She stood, still touching him. "We'll talk later." She saw his grimace as he shook his head.

"Nnnnno." His teeth were gritted. She bent her head over his shoulder.

"You left Saleucami and didn't give me any choice, Quad." Her voice was angry.

He was tired. He could listen to her and she would leave in a day or two. Perhaps he could talk to Edge; convince Edge to kill him. He sighed and gave a grimace. "Kkka." She kissed the side of his face and Quad closed his eyes against the pain of memory.

Col introduced Ehveen, their eldest son, Colehn, and two younger children. He softly kissed Ehveen and splayed his hand over her rounded belly possessively. "And soon another child." He smiled.

Ehveen showed them to another area of the tent, separated by walls of leather. Edge dropped his pack by one of the pallets after Sula chose the other. Fives and Kix would stay in the ship.

Shaeeah had looked at Ehveen as she kept her pack on her shoulder. "I will be sleeping with Quad." She said.

"I don't think Quad would be happy with that," Ehveen's voice was uncertain.

Shaeeah nodded. "Probably not. But he left me on Saleucami for two years. He can tolerate me for three days."

Sula snorted. "Or longer." Shaeeah couldn't keep her plans from the empath.

"Or longer?" Ehveen's smile was gentle though not understanding. Then she shook her head. "I like Quad, but he is no longer who he was when he first came here. He is not who he was a year ago."

Sula nodded. "He is shattered, Shaeeah. He once was a strong, very physical man. Now he no longer controls himself; his own body is a stranger to him."

"But he's there, isn't he, Sula?" demanded Shaeeah in a firm voice.

Sula nodded. "Physically limited but it is Quad; his intelligence, his desires, his personality."

Shaeeah turned to Ehveen. "If you tell me what I must do for him, then I will do so."

"No, Shaeeah. Not tonight." Sula shook her head. "He is already unsettled by you being here. He will be more unsettled to find you in his room with him." Ehveen agreed with her.

Slowly, Shaeeah nodded. "You're right, Sula. He will need something to be the same." She turned to Col's wife. "You will let me know when he is ready for sleep, when everything has been done?" Ehveen nodded with a smile. Before the stampede, Quad had spoken often of a young woman he loved.

It was a good visit. They sat around a fire pit, Col and Ehveen with their children, Jaac, Tyrlanya and Bird were there. Dub brought his wife and infant son; Countdown brought his fiancée, Hoscynia. Col and Dub, accompanied by Edge, brought Quad in his cot and sat him by the fire.

Quad made it clear he didn't want to stay and when Col ignored his request by saying, "We have guests and it is polite for everyone to be here.", Quad had made a face and crossed his arms. He had glared at Shaeeah as she sat next to him, passing him some of the kabaps. His hand was crippled, too, the fingers stiffly curved with very little strength. He noted Shaeeah was careful to make sure to give his fingers a little extra time until his grip was firm on the sticks of meat. Quad made sure not to touch her fingers.

After a while, though, he stopped being angry. The company was good. Sula even caught him staring at Shaeeah with painful longing. The children fell asleep and the adults continued speaking on into the night; catching up, making plans. Finally, Quad, feeling his head falling from tiredness, spoke.

"Cccol." Then he turned his head towards his private area.

"Tired, Quad? Ready for sleep?" Col checked.

Quad nodded with a smile. "Ggggg." He couldn't get the words out and he looked to Sula to translate for him for the first time that evening. She smiled at him.

"I think Quad wants to say he's had a good evening and a good visit. He is glad to see everyone." She looked at him with a raised eyebrow and he nodded.

They carried him into his room, separated off by the leather walls, and set him on his pallet. Col sighed as he helped removed Quad's clothes and checked his legs for any sores or bites he wouldn't be able to feel. He often thought Quad had the capacity to do this for himself, but it had become habit. Quad sighed and put his forehead on Col's shoulder. "Sssssshhhhaa." He stuttered quietly.

"She'll be sleeping with you tonight, my brother." He saw panic in his brother's eyes. "Ehveen says Shaeeah will only be here for three days and that you owe Shaeeah two years. Is that so?"

Col always tried to phrase his questions so Quad could answer with a body motion. Quad stared at the wall of the great tent, a stricken look on his face, then closed his eyes and nodded. Quad reached for his clothes, then pointed as he couldn't reach them. Col shook his head. "That's not how you normally sleep." Quad drew back his fist and weakly hit his brother, then collapsed in tears, his shoulders shaking. When Col asked if he really wanted his pants or the tunic, he shook his head. Maybe Shaeeah would leave when she saw him naked.

Shaeeah came in and let the flap fall behind her. He'd pulled the blankets over him, over his legs as much as possible, regretting his decision to be naked. His chest still had some muscle, but his legs were ragged, skin-covered bone.

There was no chance of sex. While little brother had hardened a couple of times since he'd been crippled, he couldn't feel it and there was no reason that Quad could discern when he did function. He hoped she would be happy with hugs and kisses; it was all he had. He hoped she would go home tomorrow. He still had dreams of her, he still loved her; he didn't want to see her pity or, worse, her disgust. He decided against the hugs and kisses. She might think he still loved her.

Silently she pulled off her clothes, her face down, not looking at his face. Then she moved to his side and crawled under his blankets. As he closed his eyes he saw her glance into his face. His jaw was angrily hard, but he couldn't stop the tears except by pressing his eyelids tight. When he opened his eyes he saw she longed to kiss him. Instead she simply rested her head on his arm, tucked her face into his chest, her palms against him. She let loose a deep breath and relaxed.

In a few minutes, Quad was aware of her even breathing. She was asleep. Quad looked at her, free to look at her without trying to speak, without trying to make her understand that he was no longer who he had been when he'd loved her. He'd noticed her lekku, tchun and tchin he remembered fondly, were longer and looked very elegant. If their movement was Twi'lek speech, then she was a woman who was never quiet. Even now, in sleep, they seemed to caress his hands, moving in a gentle wave-like motion in time with her breathing. Gently he slipped the tip of tchin to his lips and gave it a small kiss.

She was more beautiful than ever. Softly, he touched her face with his fingers. She was sixteen, not yet fully grown.

He could do this. For three nights he could watch Shaeeah sleep, renewing his memories – when she had touched him, when she had kissed him, when she had taken her lips to him, when she had asked him to explore her and his final memory; when her little sister had answered to his little brother, when love had been answered by love. He had used those memories often since he'd left Saleucami.

Shaeeah had said she would come to Dantooine when she was old enough and that had been two years from when he left. He had decided to give her three years and was only sometimes convinced she would come at all. Then the accident had happened and he hoped he would never see her again.

Three days he could stand her on Dantooine. Three nights, he could stand her in his bed. He shifted, pulling her closer, hugging his good arm around her, putting his cheek on her head and softly kissing her. She murmured something in her sleep.

Quad woke the next morning with her warmth against him, her breath on the skin above his heart, his arms tight around her. He loosened his grip, gently rubbed her back. She woke, smiling at him. Her eyebrows rose, asking him a question. He frowned. Was she mocking him with her silence? She saw this and simply sighed. She got out of his bed and Quad gave a soft groan to see her nakedness. She came back and knelt at his side. She picked up his hand; it was his good hand, and gave the palm a soft kiss, then placed his hand on her breast. For an instant he let his hand linger, then he let it fall as he looked down in sorrow. There was no need to give either of them false hopes. She put on her clothes and left his room with no words.

Col came in shortly after surprised to see Quad had dressed himself. "Thread house?" he asked Quad.

"Nnn." Quad shook his head.

"Then where?"

Quad thought of several options even while he was shaking his head, refusing them all. Finally he sighed.

"Ooouusi."

"Outside?" Col questioned with a frown.

Quad nodded.

"Is by the doorway good enough?" Quad nodded again.

It had been a good day to simply be outside. The children came to visit and Sula and Edge sat with him for a good portion of the day. Fives and Kix also sat with him for a while. Then it had been dark and he hadn't seen Shaeeah all day. Quad decided that was good thought it hurt. She must have decided there was no future in staying on Dantooine.

Col carried him to his bed telling him that Shaeeah had gone herding with the children. He laughed as he told Quad how she had milked one of the big cows and gotten a face full of blue milk. Quad had grinned. He remembered the first time he tried milking one of the bantha cows. He'd gotten a face full of milk and then drooled upon as her calf licked his face. He reminded Col of that incident and they both chuckled in memory.

Shaeeah came the second night as well and Quad sighed. She disrobed as she entered his room, pushing aside the leather. Beautiful, Quad thought. He opened up the blanket inviting her into his warmth even as he revealed his dead-still legs, his dead penis for her view.

"Ded, Ssha..a." He said with only a minimum of stuttering and a twisted frown. She looked at him, but said nothing.

Again, she curled up next to him. He groaned but couldn't help putting his arms around her. Her face was tilted up to his and he knew she wanted a kiss. He bent his head to hers, but couldn't bear giving her a kiss so he dropped his face into the curve of her neck. She smelled so good, warm and spicy, like winter tea. He loved her. He still loved her. He just couldn't let her know.

When she slept, her breathing soft and even, Quad kissed her. He kissed her face, her delicate ears, her lekku. He grasped tchun and tchin in his hands, gently tugging on them, squeezing them softy. He put tchin in his mouth, teased it gently with his teeth, then sucking on the tip.

Shaeeah gave a low moan in her sleep and Quad froze. He noticed her nipples were tightening and he knew that if he touched the cleft between her legs she'd be wet. He stopped, knowing that what he'd just done had been wrong. It took him a long time to fall asleep. I'm sorry, Shaeeah, he told himself.

She woke with a smile and a gentle groan of pleasure in her throat, early in the morning, before sunrise. Stretching, she smiled up at Quad. She'd had good dreams. He smiled at her, gently took her chin by the back of his crippled hand and kissed her softly on the lips. She quivered as she carefully placed her hands around his face and kissed him, not quite as softly. She felt him swallow, felt the quivering in his arms and chest, but he pulled her close with an arm, letting his fingers slide down her back. He closed his eyes, bringing his face to hers. He kissed whatever his lips touched; from her lekku to her lips, from her ears to her neck. Slowly his lips drew downward to her breasts even as she stretched upward. His lips reached down to suck at her nipple, even as his hand reached up to cup her breast. She moaned, her hands covering his head, pulling him to her. He sucked at her breasts, pulling them with his lips, gently nipping them with his teeth. Slowly his hand cupped around one breast then slid down her belly, pausing on the curve of her pleasure.

"Sssha," he moaned with a breath, his eyes watching hers. He slid his good hand between her legs, slowly pressed one finger against her opening and felt her wetness. His groan turned into a whimper and tears filled his eyes. For him, as broken and destroyed as he was, she still had rivers of wetness, rivers of want, for him.

His arms, one at least, was still strong and he pulled her into an easy position for him. He remembered the rhythms of her body, the nub that brought her so much pleasure just a knuckles-distance above her opening. She was so tiny, her opening only accepting one finger, but he knew that as he pleasured her with his tongue, she could accept more and she loved the feeling of his fingers stroking her.

He wished… so many things. He pressed the side of his head against her thigh opening her gently with his fingers. He circled her pleasure with his tongue, then probed and lapped. She writhed, her body bucking then quivering as she stilled, wanted more of his tongue on her. His fingers, first one then another, curved inside her, slowly pulling out, then quickly thrusting in.

Her breathing was wild now, her hips gliding up to meet his tongue, to press herself against his fingers, her voice called his name. She was louder than tent etiquette called for, but it was his name she was calling and if she shouted it for the entire camp to hear, he didn't care. All he cared was that she would peak, flowing rivers of desire then, sated, she would curl into his arms, to kiss him to all distraction.

Her hips tensed, her entire body was taut, like a pulled bow. He lapped at her wetness, massaging her nub with his tongue, his lips, his crippled hand. Three fingers of his able hand pushed and pulled in and out of her to the tempo of her need.

She came in a wild cry of his name that brought joy into his heart. The tension of her body released in waves of pleasure that pulled at his fingers. The tightness of her curled fingers in his hair relaxed into fingertips that curved around his face. She came in tears and bubbling sobs, crying his name.

Then she kissed him. Slowly and softly at first, then harder and not just on his face; but on his chest where she sucked and played with his nipples. Nibbling his neck, softly sucking on his ears, more roughly on his neck. Kissing him, as he wished, to all distraction. Shaeeah. His Shaeeah. His wonderful, sweet, sexy Shaeeah.

They fell asleep again she curled in his arms, until much later in the morning when they heard Col's voice.

"Shaeeah, I'll be going. If you want to come out to the calving pastures, you'll have to come now because I am leaving".

Quad gave her a lop-sided grin and pushed at her, then gestured with his hand for her to go. She quickly dressed and was gone. Sula, Kix and Edge came in shortly after to see him staring at his crippled hand in grim determination. He had dressed himself and was sitting on a low chair with bare feet, unable to manage shoes. As they entered, he had raised his head and stared hard at Sula. She had smiled.

"Emotions, Quad. Zeltrons are not very good at words."

Again he frowned then made a motion with his hands even as he spoke. "Dddaa pad." Edge nodded as he rose and left. He returned in a few moments with a data pad and handed it to Quad.

Quad wrote slowly, frowned at the scrawl, and turned it to Sula with hope. She stared at it for a moment, trying to decipher what he'd written.

"Wong." He frowned and shook his head. "Wossen Sssnkr."

"Prognosis?" She glanced at him and he nodded fiercely; wanting, needing to know the truth and finally willing to listen.

"You have a broken back. I don't think there's anything to be done about that." She glanced at Kix who shook his head. "Perhaps a powerchair or hydraulic prosthesis for getting around." She leaned closer to him, her hand touching his arm. His fingers came up and stroked hers. "Your head. Well, you've gotten lazy in your intellect. But your intellect, my dear Quad, it's all still there. You were wounded, and so your brain rested and healed. But you let your intellect get lazy. Your aphasia is both verbal and written, like Sinker's but more pronounced in words. I don't believe it is affected in relation to maps and numbers. There is the partial paralysis of the arm and hand, Quad. I don't know. I think it will always be there. It is a part of you and you will always struggle. The clot that was in your brain has disintegrated, but the damage has been done. With practice it will be easier to communicate."

Kix spoke. "With practice and therapy you could get better at speaking, at improving the dexterity in your fingers, at doing more. I've noticed some people, Col and Ehveen in particular, have developed a way of speaking to you that simplifies your part. That hasn't helped you in the long term. How much therapy have you had?" Quad's blush told him how little that had been. "You just gave up there, didn't you?"

Quad nodded and looked at Sula.

"Because you knew you couldn't go back to being what you had been." She translated for him.

He frowned, looked down at the floor, and let Sula have his secret shame.

Tears flooded her eyes. "Oh, Quad. No."

He nodded and he made a wide gesture to the others. Tttell."

"He wanted to die. He had hoped to convince one of you, most likely Edge, to kill him."

"It wouldn't have happened, Quad." Edge shook his head.

"Gggd," nodded Quad then he turned back to Kix. "Wwk." He pressed his fingers to his chest then pointed a finger at Kix. "Ddo ther.." Kix waited, making Quad say the entire word. "Ttthhher. Appy."

Quad spent all day with Sula and Kix, discussing possibilities. Asking Ehveen questions, speaking with Adwr.

Col had been teasing Shaeeah about that morning with Quad; telling her even Ehveen had never been that … enthusiastic. Perhaps Quad would no longer lack willing partners. She had smiled. "I'm hoping they will lack, Col. I'm hoping that Quad chooses to return to Saleucami."

"If he doesn't, Shaeeah, what then?" He asked and she shrugged.

"I ask you to sponsor me for immigration."

He sighed. "You know that clones don't deal very well with debilitating conditions."

"No, I didn't."

"I'm healthy. I might have had twenty more years, certainly no more than that without Cody's inoculation. Quad might have had five. There's no telling now; even with the inoculation." He shrugged. "When faced with conditions that prevent optimum use, our bodies just start to shut down. It was built into us."

Shaeeah nodded. "Does Quad know this?"

"I'm sure he does."

"Then he won't break my heart by dying with my father. I won't be putting both of them in the ground at the same time." She looked at Col with tears in her eyes. "It was why he left. He didn't want to break my heart by having me bury him and my father at the same time."

"That's not likely to happen, Shaeeah." Col put his arm around her.

It was their last night and, again, they ate as a group. All of Quad's brothers, and only his brothers, were there. The women of Dantooine had shyly left them to speak among themselves, taking Shaeeah and Sula to gossip among the women at the thread house. Dub and Col made kind jokes about Quad stealing away the women. Quad had shrugged then spoke. "Nnnt sstay." He stuttered a long time through the words. "Ggggo Ssha." But they were his brothers and they were patient.

He was ready that night when Shaeeah came to his little room, removing her clothing. Quad watched, saw her beauty and her grace. Quad smiled.

"Shha. Booful." Again it took him a long time to get out the words. Shaeeah simply waited for him. She came to him, nude and naked, tears in her eyes, kissing him.

"I love you, Quad."

"Llllov ou, Shha, llov ou." He wasn't quite pleased with his words, so he reached out for her hand and brought her fingers to his lips, kissing them. Slowly he formed the last word, wanting it to be perfect.

"Anything."

The End.

OK – I'll have one epilogue within a few days and then a final epilogue in about a month.

I'd like to take a moment and thank everyone who reviewed; it kept me encouraged and going when I might otherwise have given up.

As usual, read and enjoy. Reviews always happily welcome.