As per usual I don't own anything.
sorry about the long wait... im hoping to get back into this :) thank you to those who will stick with me through this rocky patch
Chapter 36.
Friends, panic and tears.
A couple of days after meeting Ava, I was sitting at our table again. It was Saturday and I had decided to take my headphones and old muggle laptop to listen to music. I was in love with this musical, called Hamilton. It was a muggle musical but I had forgotten how good a Broadway musical sounded. How good, calm it made me, and lately my anxiety seemed to overtake everything. However I have no idea what has made me feel this way.
So there I am, on a Hogsmead Saturday lunchtime sat at my table, books surrounding me, parchment and quills at the ready, listening to my favourite soundtrack. I am so in my own world, I absolutely love it. Draco and Pansy are at Hogsmead together and Ava is off with her boyfriend as well. I have two or three essays to finish. Currently it's my potions essay that I'm attempting to conquer, as I'm working on it I notice a shadow over my table, so I pause my music and remove my headphones to look up and see who's there.
"Hi Fred, George" I say greeting the elder Weasley twins.
"Cali" they reply in sync, they sit one either side of me. "It's been too long" Fred comments as they give me twin smiles.
"It has been" I agree, smiling fondly. "Life has been difficult for us, I'm sorry I haven't sought the pair of you out but encountering Ronald was risk far too great."
"We understand honestly" Fred starts.
"He's being stupid." George adds. The both look at each other, and in sync again they laugh.
"Always has been," they add to the conversation. I chuckle slightly.
"Mum's told him off repeatedly, she is ashamed of his behaviour towards you." They chuckle and smile deviously at each other. "Even Harry has tried to distance himself but he's not doing so well you see."
"Harry needn't argue with Ronald over me, I am not that important truly I'm not." I sigh as the thoughts surround me of how many lives must I have ruined, I can't bear to think of it.
"YOU are worth ten of Ron Cali" Fred states rather seriously for him.
"Don't you be thinking like that Cal, he is just being stupid because he can't get in your pants or copy your homework any more" George adds also being rather serious. He pulls me in for a hug and Fred joins in.
"Don't you waste one more tear on him, he isn't worth your energy." I'm not sure which one of them says that but it's obvious the sentiment is there from both. I feel my eyes bristle with tears threatening to spill an soon enough they violently do. I feel my necklace activate, Severus will know.
Suddenly, moments later I feel they atmosphere between the twins shift.
"Good afternoon Professor Snape." George says still holding on to me tightly.
Sev clears his throat. "What is going on here?"
"Cali got upset Professor. We were talking, and she got emotional, we were about to take her to Madam Pomfry just in case it turned into a panic attack" Fred says. I hear the conversations but I can't stop crying and I can't bring myself to look at any of them. My head just keeps filling with the idea of how many lives are ruined because of me. Fred and George know of my panic attacks and have helped on multiple occasions. I manage to look up at the pair and smile softly.
"Thank you both." I say softly, they give me their twin smiles and another squeeze of a hug before leaving me safe in the hands of my love.
"Are you ok Princess?" Severus asks, taking a seat next to me, I nod not strong enough for the truth. "What are you doing tomorrow my love?" He asks taking my hand in his.
"Draco has asked me to attend his Quidditch match, he wishes to introduce me to his girlfriend." I inform him as we get up and without mentioning it begin a journey to his rooms. I've spent much more time in them then I had the actual Slytherin dorm.
Severus opens the door to his room. "Draco has a girlfriend? I wasn't aware and here I thought I knew all the gossip" Severus chuckles.
"Her name is Lorelai. You know who I mean, the drop dead gorgeous one. Bright red hair, long legs and boobs to die for." He pulls me to the couch and we automatically cuddle. His arm snakes around my back and under my shirt slightly to rub circles on my back. "She's beautiful. Apparently they have been dating since first year and she demanded it be secret until she was ready" I inform him. My voice stuttering slightly about how beautiful she is.
"You are beautiful as well my dear." He replied kissing my neck.
"Not as drop dead amazing as she is" I say back silently. He puts his hand under my chin to lift my gaze to his and with a level of seriousness I'm not used to him says his next statements with a level of sternness.
"You are to me! I do not know of anyone more beautiful to me" he pulls his shirt off to get comfy, his chest baring the scars of his service to dad and I feel my fingers trace them softly. "When did they tell you?"
"This morning, they announced it to the entire common room." Severus strokes my hair as we talk. "Apparently Lorelai is going round telling people she will be the future Mrs Malfoy."
"Do Lucius and Cissa know?"
"I'm not sure, I'll find out." We cuddle more, happy in the silence and just comfortable embracing and that's how I fall asleep.
The next morning.
I get up that morning, ready to face the day. After breakfast in the great hall I meet Ava in the library. "Are you going to the Quidditch match?" I ask her.
"Probably not, Hufflepuff aren't playing." She responds. "Are you?"
I nod. "I'm going to support Draco." I fill her in on the Lorelai situation. Ava listened but didn't seem fully into the conversation. "Are you ok?" I ask after a couple of moments of silence.
"Me and Kyle spilt up yesterday." She tells me.
"How come? You two were like perfect for each other." Ava sighed and explained how Kyle didn't like her being bi sexual. She looked devastated.
"I'm sorry Ava. That's horrible and like totally unfair." She beings to cry and I comfort her to the best of my ability. "Do you wanna come with me today?"
"Really?" she asks.
"Yeah. Come meet Lorelai with me" She bristles at the mention of Lorelai.
"Actually Cali as much as I would like to spend time with you, I better finish this homework. Maybe another time."
"Yeah maybe" I respond wondering what her problem was. "I better get going" I say and get up and head back to my room to drops my books off and pick up my scarf.
On the walk from my dorm to Quidditch pitch, I wonder about Lorelai, what was she like? How well would we get on? Part of me hoped we could be the best of friends but I was really nervous. All of a sudden I felt something link through my arm.
"Hey!" a voice says. Really bubbly and excited. "You don't really know me yet but you will do because we are going best friends. I know because that's what I want and well we are going to be family after all." I look up and see Lorelai holding on to me while we are walking.
"Hello Lorelai. It's lovely to meet you properly."
"Please girl, call me Lore."
"I'm Cali, but certain people call me Cal, you can if you want to." I respond.
"So Cal, you can come talk to me about anything you know. I want to be there for you through all this stuff that others just don't seem to understand. I will always stand up for you because Drake may have told me a few little things about being horrid" She says. "Like sisters" she adds.
"I've never had a sister." I reply.
"Well now you do" she smiled like it was that simple, and maybe for a change it could be. We went and watched Draco together, Slytherin won and it was an enjoyable afternoon for the both of us.
That evening things went from ok to bad pretty quickly. I was sat in the great hall for dinner, Lore and Drake were sat one side of me being all cute and couple like, but still trying to include me in the conversation. Pansy was the other side, and all of a sudden a voice pierces my happy bubble.
"OI LeStrange!" I look up and see a boy storming over towards me from the Hufflepuff table.
"I'm sorry. Do I know you?" I ask. I notice that Drake and Lore have stopped cuddling and gone silent.
"Names Kyle!" He snaps and it's obvious that my face must look blank because he gets more aggressive as he carries on shouting "AVA'S EX!" I stand at this point.
"Would you like to go somewhere more private and we can discuss this." I say softly.
"NO! I want everyone to hear and see this!" He says and quickly swings his clenched fist out to try and hit me, I quickly duck. In what seems like seconds Drake is stood behind me and Lore is right behind him. Severus is rushing down from the teachers table and the entire great hall erupts into a chaotic noise of screams and shouts, some angry, some encouraging.
"WHAT THE HELL!" I scream at him, trying not to lose my cool too much.
"You broke me and Ava up you spoilt little bitch. She's bloody obsessed with you! Cali this Cali that! She's trying to break your relationship" He sneers that word "Up so she can be with you. You've been encouraging it haven't you!" Before I can respond I hear:
"And that is not an excuse for violence Mr. Jensen! Headmaster's office! NOW!" from Severus. Kyle snorts a laugh and leaves and as he does I hear the entire great hall whispering so I push past him and run.
"Sweetheart" Severus voice pops into my head. I try to ignore him. "I know you're awake, I can feel your emotions" He pauses. "Please talk to me." He begs.
"I'm sorry" I whisper back to him.
"What for?" He asks as I sit on my bed. I close my eyes and refuse to answer. "Please come to my room Sweetie, we can talk this through properly." I sigh deeply.
I use my portkey because I hurt and ache so much I can't move. I appear in Severus' room, on his couch of course. I can see him pacing by the door obviously waiting for me. He joins me the second he notices I've appeared. He pulls me onto his lap.
"Everyone saw didn't they? What will they think of me? What if people think I'm cheating, that I could cheat on you?" I sob my fears to my love and I feel my panic rising higher than ever before. I hyperventilate. Severus pulls me closer. He quickly wandlessly and wordlessly shuts and locks his door and then grabs and blanket, picks me up and carries me to bed. I kick my shoes off as does he and then we lay on the bed together.
"Do you hate me?" I whisper. He changes our positions on the bed to rest my head on his chest as he runs his hand through my hair.
"I could never hate you. Absolutely none of this is your fault. Yes people saw and yes people are going to talk. However the people who matter won't be, those who love you and care for you will know you and know the truth." He says addressing my previous fear. I sob harder.
"I... I would… never cheat…cheat on you" I whimper between sobs.
"Shh" he whispers rubbing calming circles on my back "I know that." I don't hear him over my sobs.
"Please believe me" he kisses me forehead, then my neck, nibbling a little, marking me. That act makes me feel safe, he continues to kisses me passionately.
"Stop a minute" I'm calm enough to talk with out sobbing. He stops and looks at with concern. "Cast a truth spell please, or do you have a vial of veritaserum?" I ask him being deadly serious.
"Why would you want that love?"
"Do you have any?" I ask slowly ignoring his previosus queston.
"Yes."
Sitting up slightly to look him in the eyes "Can I have a vial?" I ask.
"Will you tell me why?" he says holding on to me as if I was going to scamper out of bed and tear the room apart looking for it, which was crossing my mind slightly.
"I want to take it." I say as if it's the most normal thing in the world, but I look away slightly.
"Oh my sweet girl! Why?" He asks, holding my face steady and looks in my eyes deeply, I see his eyes searching for an answer.
"To… to prove I'm not lying" I whisper.
"I know you're not sweetheart." His eyes capture mine and he pulls both of my small pale shaking hands into his strong scarred ones. "I will always believe you and in you, I trust you with my life and I love you to the moon and back. There is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for you." He pauses slightly "Except for this, I will not let you do this to yourself." He kisses me again "do you understand me Caitlyn. I will always believe every word out of your sweet kissable lips, and I will hurt anyone who tries to hurt us." He kisses my nose and tries to make me giggle, but it doesn't work. "I believe in you, I believe in me, just… and I know that you are the best thing to EVER happen to me and I would like to think, that I can do whatever is in my power to make your life as wonderful as I can. I won't let any stupid boy tear us apart, you are mine Missus and don't you ever think I will believe someone over you." He pulls me into another cuddle. "Do you understand?" He asks again.
"You called me Caitlyn?!" I accuse shocked.
"To get you to realise how serious I am" he kisses my nose again and this time it makes me giggle a little and he begins to tickle my sides. "Now do you understand?!" His tickling intensifies. I nod through tears of laughter, as we begin to settle down, get comfortable and after minutes of listening to his heart beat in time with mine I fall asleep.