-1Chapter 35
Sydney sat in the dinning room breaking crackers into her vegetable soup. There were only two packets of crackers. Hardly enough. She thought about sneaking over to the other trays and taking some. It was so unlike her though. She didn't have the heart to steal like that. Sydney took her spoon and stirred up her soup as she noticed a shadow passing by her.
"Can I sit here?" a meek voice asked. Sydney noticed there were some empty tables, but when she looked up, she noticed it was Meaghan.
"Sure," Sydney answered. She smiled lightly at her before going back and taking in her soup.
As Sydney ate, she noticed another patient out of the corner of her eye. It was a young woman with died black hair. She was staring at Meaghan with bitter eyes. Meaghan looked nervous, as she tried to pretend she didn't see the woman.
"What's your problem?" Sydney said to the woman with a dirty look.
"Mind your own business," the woman said with a piercing look in her eyes.
"Do you want me to come over there?" Sydney said in a harsh voice as she stared into the woman's eyes.
"She's the one you should stay away from. She's a freak. Now leave me alone." The woman had pointed to Meaghan. Sydney looked at Meaghan's tearful blushing expression. She felt sorry for her. Everyone else in the room were staring at them.
"Leave us alone," Sydney told the woman with her fierce look. The woman stared back a moment and then looked away. She took her tray to a distant table and resumed eating.
"You okay?" Sydney asked Meaghan.
"I'm okay," she replied. "Thank you."
"No problem."
Sydney went back to eating her soup. After a moment, Sydney noticed the solemn girl picking at her food, hardly taking in a bite of any of it.
"Hospital food is terrible, isn't it," Sydney commented as Meaghan's face stared grimly at her tray.
"I'm just not hungry much," Meaghan replied in a low tone.
"Oh."
"You can have my crackers if you want," Meaghan said quietly as she watched Sydney eat the soup.
Sydney smiled at her as she took the crackers and broke them into her soup. She realized how sad it was that such a little thing made her day brighter. There wasn't really anything else in this sterile place to brighten up anyone's day. Except people. Visitors. Sydney saw how other people's faces brightened up as their loved one's visited them.
Sydney swallowed the lump forming in her throat and blinked away her tears. She didn't know if she could see them, her father, Vaughn, after everything. They were the reason she was here. They locked her up on a psychiatric ward. She had been there for 3 and a half days. As lonely as she was, she didn't know if she could see them. She only wanted to see Nadia, make sure she was okay. She couldn't imagine Nadia wanting to see her though. Why anyone would want to see her is something she couldn't understand. Not after everything that happened.
"Sydney?" she heard the voice of her nurse calling for her. She looked behind her to see the blond haired young nurse dressed in normal clothes gazing at her. She immediately got up and followed the nurse out of the room, smiling lightly in goodbye to Meaghan. "Your doctor wants to talk with you. You can finish your lunch first."
"I'm done," Sydney replied plainly in subservience as she knew the importance of complying and what could happen if she didn't.
The nurse guided Sydney to what looked like a conference room. She sat across the table to her doctor as the nurse took a seat next to Dr. Bowen.
"Thank you for meeting with me Sydney," Dr. Bowen said with a professional smile. Sydney nodded. "How have you been feeling?"
"Fine."
"Better? Worse? The same?"
"Better." It was only a partial truth. She felt terrible being in a hospital like this. She felt frightened by her experience in the shower. But really, things weren't as bad as when she was on the run. It was the first time she really thought about that fact. It was better. Things were actually slightly better.
"That's good. Have you heard any voices or seen anyone no one else could see?"
"No." It was a lie, but she feared the consequences of the truth. She feared the needles and the locked room and being stuck in the hospital forever. She needed to do what she could to get out of there. And for now, complying was all she could do.
"Okay. Have you been adjusting to the ward?"
"Its fine." Her voice was plain and uncomplaining.
"Your father and Agent Vaughn have been eager to see you. Would you object to seeing them?" Sydney didn't answer. Instead she stared forward past the doctor who eyed her hungrily for an answer.
"Sydney?"
"I don't know," Sydney finally answered in a quiet conflicted voice.
"If you don't want to see them, its alright. Maybe you just need some more time," Dr. Bowen suggested.
"I'm afraid."
"Afraid of your family?"
"Of seeing them. I can't imagine what they will want to do to me after everything that's happened."
"Sydney, I have only gotten the sense that Agent Vaughn and your father love you and want to support you," the doctor explained sympathetically.
Sydney stared passed the doctor towards the door. She felt trapped inside the room, berated with questions, pressure, obligation. She wanted to run free out that door, out the locked doors of the ward, free, fresh air and freedom. But it was a far off dream and she knew it.
Maybe they did still love her.
Maybe they would get her out of here if she let them know she was okay, if she convinced them she was normal, sane.
Maybe.
"Okay," Sydney spoke finally after a moment of the doctor staring at her in silence. Her nurse just sat there listening to them.
"Okay what?" The doctor asked unsure.
"If they want to see me, its fine," she replied in defeat. She felt like she was giving up, even though it might be her ticket to freedom if she was careful about it.
"Are you sure?" Sydney nodded. "Alright. I'm sure they will be happy to hear that-"
"Nadia," Sydney spoke quietly in a low tone as she eyed the floor with sorrow-filled eyes.
"What about her?"
"I want to see her. I know she won't want to, but can you ask her. I really need to see her and tell her..." Sydney paused as she tried to suck in the tears, "how sorry I am."
"I'll see what I can do. Thank you for talking to me Sydney. You can go back now," Dr. Bowen said with a smile.
Sydney quickly left, shutting the door behind her. The nurse and the doctor stayed behind, presumably discussing her case. Sydney sighed hard at the idea. She hated being talked about, but she imagined everyone must be talking about her. It was an embarrassing thought.
As Sydney walked toward her room, she noticed someone staring out at her from inside a doorway. Approaching the doorway, she noticed it was Meaghan, still dressed only in a hospital gown. She smiled at Sydney lightly, her eyes hollow.
"Hi," Sydney said to her with a light smile.
"Hi. Um..." the girl paused as she got up the guts to speak, "do you want to hang out in here. Its quiet." she seemed utterly nervous as she spoke. Sydney got the sense that she had no other friends on the ward, and maybe even in her regular life. She was so quiet and awkward. A part of Sydney couldn't help but reach out to her, she was so young and vulnerable and scared.
"Sure," Sydney replied as she followed the skinny girl into her room.
Meaghan immediately sat on her bed and grabbed a stuffed bear that had been on her bed. She hugged it tightly as she stared forward, not really looking at anything. Sydney grabbed a chair and sat down across from the bed as she looked around the room. It was plain and unadorned much like her own room. Some of the other patients had their rooms decorated with personal artefacts, pictures and drawings. There was nothing in either of their rooms. Except a picture. There was a single picture sitting on top of her dresser. Sydney got up to look at it. There was a black fuzzy kitten in the picture. Sydney smiled immediately and looked over at Meaghan.
"Is this your cat?"
Meaghan nodded. "Whispers."
"Cute. You must miss it."
"Yeah. She's all I have now."
"You don't have any family?"
"Not anymore." Meaghan's face filled with a confused sorrow. Sydney noticed it and immediately felt sympathy for this girl. She wanted to know more about her.
"Oh." Sydney replied, not really knowing what to say.
"What about you?" Meaghan asked with curious eyes.
"Oh. I don't know. Its complicated," Sydney replied with sadness as her eyes filled with confusion over the whole situation.
Meaghan gave her an empathetic look. "Its always complicated."