Ch. 36- Sanji vs. Absalom

One Piece © Oda

Blizzard © Me

Meanwhile, Sanji had merrily skipped passed Absalom and toward an unconscious Nami.

"Oh, Nami~!" Sanji swooned before…

WHAP! He laid a snapping kick to the zombie that was holding the navigator, bridal style.

"LET HER GO!" Sanji roared before he gently caught Nami in his arms. "Fear not, Nami. Tis I, your brave knight in shining armor, come to your rescue."

Upon getting a look at Nami's sleeping form, he suddenly gasped at the sight of the white gown she was garbed in.

"A GODDESS?" he yelled. "Oh…wait a minute, it's just you, Nami. It's no surprise though, you're practically a goddess on earth to begin with!"

"Hey!" Absalom roared. "You're one of the Straw Hats, aren't you?"

"Yeah, what of it?" Sanji growled, questioningly as he turned to the beast-man. Upon doing so, Absalom gasped at the sight of Nami, garbed in white.

"AN ANGEL?" declared Absalom. "Oh, no…just a human female. Phew!"

"That's no surprise, there," said Sanji. "I never noticed how much white accentuates Miss Nami's beautifully smooth skin up until now!"

"Oh, definitely!" Absalom agreed.

"Uh, okay," mumbled a zombie that was nearby. "What are those two doing?"

At that moment, Absalom realized that he was getting caught up in a friendly conversation with the cook.

"I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS FRIENDLY BANTER!" Absalom roared before he raised his hand. "RELEASE MY BRIDE!"

BLOOOW! Absalom made another air-pushing movement with his hand, destroying the wall before him.

"You really ought to be more careful. You almost hit Nami!"

Absalom looked back and saw Sanji, standing behind him with Nami still cradled in his arms.

"You shouldn't make such reckless attacks," the angered cook started, "when there's a woman involved."

"You dodged my attack so well," Absalom acknowledged. "Not many have fast feet like yours." He looked down to the floor. "I see you are without your shadow. There was a new Wild Zombie that acted almost like you, although he wasn't so obedient just yet. Coincidence? I believe not. Inuppe must've your zombie all along!"

Sanji went over and propped Nami up on one of the bleachers. At that moment, she seemed to come to. However, her eyes appeared rather misty and dazed, and her vision appeared blurry. When she looked up, she saw a rather familiar figure beginning to form before her. In Nami's eyes…she thought she saw Luffy.

L…Luffy…? she thought to herself.

"Stay right here," "Luffy" told her. "I'll deal with this guy for you."

Nami weakly smiled.

"Okay," she said before she fell back into unconsciousness.

Sanji turned to face Absalom, but not before being surprised by the white gown Nami was wearing, once again.

I almost thought she was a heavenly nymph! he thought.

"I remember now that I didn't let Inuppe join with the Zombie Generals," said Absalom. "I simply wanted to see what he was capable of in a fight. He was only the size of a regular penguin and was rather weak. He was foolish, too. Foolish to think that he, a mere underling, could oppose me, the man known as the 'Enigma' who can control the Zombie Generals! Now, just leave the girl here with me and go hide in the shadows like the miserable bug that you are! I'm extremely busy! All my Zombie Generals have been crushed by your captain's zombie, and I have to seal the vow by kissing my bride! You see, now? Grr~! I'm really quite irritated, and I don't have time to deal with a small fry like-"

POW! Before Absalom could finish, he was met with a polished leather shoe to his face.

"Shut the hell up," Sanji growled, "you ANIMAL!"

Sanji's kick was so forceful, it cause Absalom to go skidding across the ground. The zombies gasped in shock and horror. Never before had they seen someone actually land a direct hit on Absalom like that, especially with such power!

"MASTER ABSALOM!" the zombies cried.

"How can this be?" a soldier zombie yelled, questioningly. "There's no way he could actually managed to defeat Master Absalom due to his weight of 300 kilos!"

Sanji took a drag from his cigarette and blew out a puff of smoke from his nose.

"The so-called 'invisible man' that my friend Usopp was talking about," Sanji hissed. "That was you…wasn't it?"

Impossible…! Absalom thought as he held his bleeding face. How is it that this body of mine, created by Dr. Hogback, was able to get hit so easily?

Absalom raised his hands at Sanji, again.

"Hands of the DEAD!" he shouted.

KABANG! What sounded like a gunshot went off, but Sanji spread Absalom's arms apart with his feet, causing Absalom to miss him and instead hit the ceiling.

"You realize now," started Sanji, "what I'm about to do, right?"

Absalom's eyes widened.

"Welcome to Hell," hissed the furious Sanji before… "Basses COTES!"

BAP! Sanji laid a powerful upper kick to Absalom's chin.

"LONGE! TENDRON!" Sanji shouted as he kicked the designated body parts.

Absalom fell to his knees, coughing up blood.

"The one who appeared on our ship," Sanji started with angered flames flickering in his eye, "and licked Robin was you, wasn't it? The one who peeped at Nami while she was bathing was you, WASN'T IT? FLANCHET! QUASI!"

BAP! THWACK! Sanji continued to pummel Absalom, mercilessly with his furious kicks.

What the hell is with his strength? Absalom thought, questioningly. Is he really one of Straw Hat's subordinates?

"QUEUE! CUISEAU! JARRET!" Sanji shouted as he still gave Absalom the beating of his life. "WHY THE HELL IS MY NAMI UNCONSCIOUS, HUH? DID YOU SCARE HER SO MUCH THAT SHE FAINTED? DID YOU DO SOMETHING DIRTY TO HER?"

BAM! Sanji slammed Absalom into a wall.

"Now what was that you said about marrying her?" roared Sanji, questioningly. "WHY DON'T YOU TRY SAYING IT TO MY FACE? I'LL KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD, YOU WON'T KNOW YOUR FEET FROM YOUR HEAD!"

Absalom seethed in pain.

"Damn it," he cursed. "I might as well, retreat for now."

With that, Absalom began to vanish before Sanji's very eyes. However, he was undeterred. He simply pulled out something from his pocket: little balls of salt.

"Usopp's Special Salt Balls," he said.

Flick! Flick! Flick! Sanji flicked the balls all around himself until one hit something.

"There you are," Sanji hissed.

"Ah!" Absalom yelped as the salt ran down his invisible body. "What the hell is this? Salt?"

"Yep," Sanji answered before…

BAP! THWACK! KAPOW! He pummeled Absalom, once again, with multiple kicks to his face.

"Veau SHOOT!" Sanji yelled.

Absalom was plowed into floor as he began to reappear.

No way…! thought Absalom in disbelief. Is there really no bounty on this bastard's head?

"You told me that you were irritated," hissed Sanji, venomously. "Well, let me tell you now that I'm more than that. I'm practically EXPLODING WITH RAGE~!"

BLOOOWW! Sanji literally exploded with rage.

"Whoa!" yelled a zombie. "Literally!"

"And I think that it's rather unfortunate for you," said Sanji, "that we have another thing in common."

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