A/N: back to the past. It's a halle pov…shes 20. And yet another part of the mystery that is halles past is cleared up. Sorry for the delay, hopefully its worth the wait.

Thank you for the reviews….i re-read them while I was at work today and they totally made my day  I am still working on replies…work has been draining lately, so I come home and veg and read and write….

Without further adiou….

Still don't own anything….

Manhattan 2027

"Ever seen a C-section?" the doctor supervising my summer internship at New York General asked me.

"A few," I tell her, stretching in attempt to get the pain in my left side to subside.

"Are you ok?" She asked, concerned.

"I'm fine," I tell her.

"Well, in that case, have you ever scrubbed in on one?"

"Seriously?" I ask her. I had seen a few C-sections just being in the hospital with my parents when I was little. And Izzie let me watch a few more from the gallery once I was older. We had learned bits and pieces in Med School, but since I was only two years through, I had never actually been on the surgical floor for one.

"Yes, Seriously." She tells me. I just smile back, and then the pain shot through my side again, worse than before. Bad enough that I fell to the floor and curled up in a ball.

"Halle!" she exclaims, dropping to the floor next to me. "What hurts?" She asks, sliding my scrub top up.

"I...I...I'm pregnant." I tell her before the world fades to black.

"Halle?" The first thing I hear when I wake up is my mother's voice. "It's ok baby, I'm here." She says, running a hand down my cheek. "Welcome back," she says as my eyes flutter and then open.

"Mom?" I say, confused for a minute, before the events of the day come rushing back to me. As they do, a lone tear rolls down my cheek. I squeeze my eyes shut as it does to keep more from falling.

"Oh Halle," I hear her say, as she takes one hand and squeezes my hand while wiping the tear with her other hand.

"I want to be alone." I say, not opening my eyes and quite forcefully.

"I know." She says softly, not letting go of my hand.

"Then why are you in here?" I ask.

"I don't want to leave you."

"I don't want you here. I want to be alone." I take all I have in me, biting my tongue to suppress the pain, and roll over so my back is to her. I can't look at her right now, I know if our eyes meet again, I'll see sadness and pain. And although I probably deserve that, I just can't take it right now. "Please leave."

"Halle."

"What part of leave are you not getting?"

"Halle, I...I want to be there for you. Why didn't you tell me."

"Mom!" I yell, getting frustrated at this point, "Just...just please. Please leave," I say, softer, trying not to break down.

"You're upsetting her," says a second voice.

"She's my daughter."

"I'm well aware, but she needs to stay calm right now."

"She's my daughter. I know what she needs. She needs her mother."

"I'm right here, and what I need right, is to be ALONE. BY MYSELF!"

"I think you need to leave," says the second voice. "She's pretty upset."

"I am staying right here. She needs me."

"Please..." I say, knowing I'm on the verge of losing the battle with my emotions.

"I think she needs some time and to stay calm."

"SHE'S MY DAUGHTER. I THINK I KNOW WHAT SHE NEEDS!"

"Mer," I hear my dad's voice as he enters, "come on, let's go get coffee or something." His last sentance is followed by shuffling and then the door clicks and then it's quiet. I can imagine him taking her gently by the upper arm and leading her out the door. And I'm pretty sure I hear my mom say something to my dad about leaving me here with her...

"Fresh meet?" A tall red head asks, approaching the doctor who had just given us a tour of the hospital.

"Even better," he replied. "Summer interns from the med school."

"I see."

"You have one assigned to you?"

"I do."

"Alright..." He called, a few hours into this and I'm pretty sure that he thinks he's the Nazi, but really, Miranda would eat him alive. "Who's assigned to neo-natal?"

"I am..." I call softly from the back of the crowd. I'm not one to hang in the back or to speak softly, but...but I still have that fear that I don't really belong here. I'm here because of who I am, or rather, who my parents are, not because I should here. I keep telling myself that's not true, that I deserve to be here, that skipping a grade, finishing college in three years, and getting two years of med school out of the way in one year more than qualifies me, but...but I'm easily three years younger than anyone else here, and way smaller.

"Hi," I say to her, extending my hand, "Halle Shepherd." As I tell her my name, I can't help but think I recognize her. I don't forget people easily, but I just can't seem to place her.

"I'm Dr. Montgomery," She says, taking my hand and pausing for a few seconds, as if she's waiting for me to decide she's familiar.

"Addison?" I question as the rest of the group dissipates.

She nods her head and reaches down to shake my extended hand, "I'd recognize you anywhere, you're the spitting image of your father." The red head told me as we shook hands, "Welcome to the program."

"Thank you. You were here when I had my accident," I tell her as I begin to piece things together.

"I was." She said. "You were young then, I'm surprised you remember...you're still young." She said a few seconds later, once she had done the math and fully taken in my appearance.

"I'm three years ahead." I tell her.

"With your genes I wouldn't expect anything less," She says as we step into the elevator. "So you're interested in OB?"

"Yep," I tell her, "making my neuro surgeon parents a little prouder everyday." I say sarcastically as we step off the elevator on to the OB floor.

"I'm tired." I tell her a few seconds after my mom was dragged out of the room, sounding more irritated than I meant to, I'm sure.

"You should be. Surgery takes a lot out of you, not to mention the trauma your body already went through."

"I know." I tell her, shifting uncomfortably.

"How bad is the pain?"

"I'm dealing."

"I gather that. But from what I can tell, your ways of dealing might not be the best for you." She says, lifting my gown to check the sutures.

"Do you want anything?" She asks when she's finished, after I've flinched in pain about a million times.

"Will it make me sleep?"

"Probably."

"Bring it on." I tell her, despite not wanting to admit it, the pain is pretty intense and if it will put me to sleep...well, at this point I'm up for anything that will keep me from feeling for a little while.

"You know, you're going to have to talk to someone eventually."

"I know. When I'm ready. I just...I can't yet." I say quickly to abate the tears threatening to fall.

"Ok." She says, injecting something into my IV, "That should help with the pain and help you rest for a little while. Can I get you anything? Anyone?"

"ummm..." I say, starting to feel very sleepy.

"Just so you know, I'm here. If you want anything...or someone to talk to."

"Thanks." I tell her. "Can...can my dad come in?"

"Sure," she says softly before she leaves the room. I barely hear the door click before the medicine kicks in and I fall into a fitfull sleep.

As I wake up I can feel his presence before I see him. "I don't want to talk about it." I say, not rolling over to face him.

"That's fine. I'm not asking you to. I'll just continue to sit with you if that's ok."

I don't respond, I just roll over to face him. As our eyes meet, I expect to find hurt and disappointment, but instead find love and worry. And that's all I need to break. The tears I've held in for two weeks begin to fall and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to stop them. He's by my side almost instantly, but unlike everyone else, he doesn't say anything. He just holds me and lets me cry. Lets me cry out the events of the last two weeks, my fear, my anger, and my broken heart.

"Will is going to hate me." I tell him after crying for what feels like an hour.

"He doesn't hate you," my dad replies, running a hand through my hair.

"I...I..." I can't even verbalize what happened before I lose it again. Dad doesn't continue the conversation, he just holds me as the sobs wrack my body.

"Baby," he says, later, after the tears have stopped and I've had time to recover, "Why, why did you feel like you couldn't come to us...to Will...to anyone."

"I...I..." I begin, not sure I'm ready to have this conversation. "I don't know. Cause it was bad...and I was worried...I...I didn't want you to be disappointed."

"Oh baby, we would never be disappointed. We would have supported what ever decision you would have made, you know that."

"Mom's disappointed." I say flatly, thinking back to our conversation earlier.

"No, she...she's just upset you didn't tell her. She just wants to be there for you. She loves you, Halle."

"It's just...I was scared." I tell him in whisper. "I'm still scared." I say after, in a barely audible whisper.

"I know," he tells me, "but you'll get through this. We'll get you through this."

"Will is going to hate me."

"Halle, Will doesn't hate you. I'm pretty sure it's just the opposite."

"But...I...I didn't tell him. And now I can't and I...I just don't know." I say, bursting into tears again.

"Shhh..." he says, running fingers through my hair again. "It's going to be ok," he whispers as I cry.

"I...I...I love him," I say, referring to Will, "I don't want him to hate me."

"Baby, that man just up and flew across the country to get to you. I highly doubt he would have done that if he hated you."

"Will's here?" I say, my breath hitching.

"Been sitting outside for the past few hours, hoping that you'll ask to see him."

"He didn't come in..." I say, my voice trailing off, thinking that him not racing in is confirmation he hates me.

"You seem to have made quite the impression on your surgeon. She's been guarding the door like a mother lion." That comment makes me laugh, considering whom the surgeon is, "Is that a laugh?" He asks with a smile on his face.

I just bite my lip and look at him. "Thank you." I say softly.

"No need," he replies.

"Can..."

"I'll send him in now." He tells me, as if he could read my mind.

"And...and can you tell mom I'm sorry."

"I can, but I'm sure she'd rather hear it from you later."

"Ok," I say in a small voice. "Ask her if she'll talk to me later."

"She will. She loves you." He tells me again, then kisses my forehead and heads for the door.

"Dad," I call, causing him to turn around. "Thank you. For being here...and for knowing what to say...and how to say it." The only response I get is a nod before he heads through the door and it clicks shut behind him.

It's only a matter of seconds before I hear the door click again as it opens and Will steps through it, looking sad and broken and worried and hurt and nervous all at the same time. My heart skips a beat as our eyes meet, and it's at that moment I realize I would die without him.

"I know you're angry," I say as he approaches the bed, tears rolling down my cheeks. I half expected him to end it right there, he'd have every right to, and really, I wouldn't blame him.

"I am angry," He says, standing over me. "But I also love you." He tells me, stroking my arm. "Shhh..." he whispers, wiping at my tears with his thumb. "We're going to get through this...you're going to be fine. We're going to be fine. You didn't get here on your own, and I'm not going to let you go through this alone."

"I can't believe you got the summer internship in New York, not that you didn't deserve it, but…wow. I'm so proud of you babe." Will tells me, holding me close.

"I can hear your heart," I tell him.

"Good, means I'm not dead." He replies, kissing my forehead.

"I'm going to miss you." I tell him, nuzzling my face into his neck.

"I'll miss you too. But, I'll be there for the 4th of July, and that will be here before you know it. And you're coming back in August, and then we'll both be back out there in September."

"I know. I just…miss you. And I'll miss…well…"

He laughs and places feather kisses on my nose, cheeks, and lips. "Well, that…you and I just a few minutes ago…that will be something I'll never forget."

I sigh and relax into his arms, "I couldn't agree more."

We lay like that for a while, just enjoying each other's company, relishing it, knowing that this will be the last time for a month.

"Let me find you a sweatshirt, and maybe some pants or something."

"No, I'm fine, just stay with me."

"Halle, that's like the hundredth time you've shivered in the past minute. I'll come back and I'll hold you all night. I just…I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"Thank you." I tell him as he gets out of bed.

"Shit." He says, staring at the floor.

"What is it?" I ask, sitting up.

"It's…it's…" he can't seem to find the words, so he bends down and picks something up. "It split."

I gasp as he holds up the torn condom. "Shit."

He drops the condom back on the floor and gets back into the bed with me, his arms instantly finding me and mine him. "We'll…we'll get through this." He says, gently rocking me to sleep as silent tears fall down my cheeks.

He sits on the side of my bed and I slide over, giving him space to lie next to me. "I...I love you Will." I say through my tears. "And...and I'm so sorry."

"Shhh...I...I love you Halle. God, I love you so much." He said, wrapping his arms around me and letting me cry into his chest. "I just...I wish you would have told me. I...I would have been here...and I would have supported whatever decision you made."

"I know...I just...I wanted to...I was going to...I couldn't. I'm so sorry...and I know you probably hate me."

"Shhh...God, Halle, I love you more than life itself. That doesn't mean I'm not mad, and that doesn't mean I like you right now, but, we'll...we'll get through this," he said, placing a chaste kiss on my forehead and pulling me against his chest. "Shhh...rest now..."

And we stay there for the rest of the day and into the night. Just the two of us, him holding me, rocking me, and reassuring me. As I drift off into my first restfull sleep in two weeks with the love of my life holding me, I realize that everything really might be ok.

A/N: I realize that she could have gone the route of the morning after pill…but that just wouldn't have worked for the story…so for whatever reason, she didn't.

And yes, this was my original plan to bring Addison back into the story…before I killed off her second husband and decided to bring her and mark back together…stay tuned for that meeting….say in 2 chapters or so…