A/N: So I know that some of you wanted some Lexa flashbacks before this story ended, but instead of doing individual ones like the one I did between her and Eva, this seemed like a better idea. I hope you enjoy. :) There will be a longer A/N at the end of this chapter, and of course, the next chapter will be the last one. xx
Disclaimer: I do NOT own the 100!
PLEASE enjoy, favorite, follow and REVIEW!
Lexa could not remember a time when she was happier than she was with Clarke. Her entire life had been filled with downs, with minor ups.
From the time she was little, she'd felt like everyone's lowest priority. Her mother – Marissa Tierra, who was home as often as possibly solely because her husband – Justin Tierra – couldn't handle their two daughters alone. She had constantly tried to be a good mother to Anya and Lexa, at least by her standards, in order to please her husband. He had always wanted kids, and who was she to ruin that for him?
Lexa was always a second to her older sister, though. When Anya was ten, and Lexa was four, the younger of the two began to realize this more and more. Her father began to get busier with work, and the more often he was gone, the more often his wife was gone as well. Whatever parenting her mother did choose to exercise was toward Anya, probably because since she was older, and easier for their not-so-motherly mother to handle. Whether young Anya noticed this or not, Lexa was never really sure.
By the time Lexa was ten, she was already shy. She didn't have many friends at school, though she always managed to have someone to sit with at lunch or someone to play with during recess. Her sister was opposite her, though, with a plethora of friends. Being sixteen, Anya was constantly out doing things or bringing her friends home. She oftentimes brought guys home as well.
Lexa was hardly ever noticed by any of these visitors to her home. She would usually just hide out in her room, though. When she turned eleven, she asked her dad one time when he was home if she could sign up for dance lessons somewhere. He jumped at the chance to do something for her, because looking back, Lexa knew that her parents knew that she was the neglected of their two daughters. He immediately agreed, and two months after she had been dancing, her dad came back home from work in New York again. She told him that she loved dancing, and her mother, hearing the statement, went over the top when she saw that her husband was so happy to hear that Lexa was finally enjoying something. She had the dance studio added to the house, just for Lexa, and it was the only time that she ever felt like maybe her parents really loved her.
When she was twelve, though, and reaching all of her goals in her dance classes, Anya moved out, and her father stopped coming home as much. Her mother was obviously affected by his absence, and began to engross herself in her own work. There was no room for Lexa in her schedule anymore, not that there was much to being with anyway. Lexa remembered her father coming home once while she was twelve years old, once more when she was thirteen. She was sure that her mom flew out to where he was much more often than the number of times he came back, though.
She never reached out to either of her parents about their neglect, because it stopped bothering her as she absorbed herself in dance. It didn't bother her that she saw her father only once a year, and it didn't bother her that her mother was hardly ever home, and that they didn't interact much when she was.
Anya came back every summer to lounge around and feel cool, and those were the times that Lexa saw her mother most as well. Lexa hated that, though, because her house had nearly become her own space, and having it invaded by two of her least favorite people was never nice.
She started high school when she was fifteen – she'd always been one of the oldest in her grade, but that never bothered her, since she would be able to drive before any of her classmates. High school was the best time of school for her, surprisingly. Surprisingly, she felt less pressure to fit into a category, because Patchwork High School was not under a definitive social structure. There were enough sports teams that not one group of athletes ruled the school, and cheerleaders were hardly anymore recognizable than anyone else.
Lexa made a handful of friends in her freshman year, though not any that she really cared for or trusted much. She went to freshman homecoming with a group of girls that had asked if she wanted to join their group, and that night was when Lexa realized that she liked girls. One of the girls in the group had grabbed Lexa to dance with her when a slow song came on, since none of the girls had dates, and Lexa had felt the strong compelling urge to kiss her. She'd barely known this girl, though, and let her feelings drip away slowly.
When the dance was over, the girls all grouped together again to hang out for the rest of the night, and Lexa spent the rest of that night contemplating the meaning of her urges. It wasn't hard for her to figure out over the next few weeks that she spent pondering that night. Eventually, she came to her conclusion.
She told no one, though. She saw no point, since there was no one that she really cared about enough to tell. Anyone she did tell would probably look down on her for it, anyway, so she ignored it all and continued on with her freshman year as normal.
In the last few weeks of school, talk of a really rich family moving into the little town area in DC that she lived in began to spread around the people that she knew in her neighborhood – mostly because her neighborhood was one of the richer, and this family had moved into the only one richer than hers. Lexa thought nothing of this until she met the daughter of the couple who had moved into the house.
Eva Carlington, the rich and beautiful. Lexa had feelings for her the instant she even saw her, and she found herself completely taken aback when the girl approached her. Her words were smooth, and well thought out. She never said anything without a purpose, and though she was harsh and critical of nearly everything and person, she never failed to give Lexa the feeling of being wanted.
It only took a couple of weeks before Eva kissed Lexa, in a little shed at a big pool party that ended freshman year. From that moment, Lexa's heart was being stolen, and she didn't mind.
Until the end of summer, of course, when it had been officially stolen and carried off to who knows where.
Once again, Lexa's life had returned to the version where she was no one's priority. Her father had called her on the first day of her sophomore year, asking how she was, and he had clearly noticed how depressed she'd been. He commented on it only once, and told her to "chipper up", and promised to visit soon.
He didn't visit until Christmas, but he didn't more than a day, and missed Christmas itself. Luckily, though, Lexa hadn't minded much, because by then, she'd been absorbed into the friend group that was Octavia, Bellamy, Finn and Raven. She'd met Octavia in their shared math class, and Octavia had begged her for help on a problem, and then struck up a conversation. It was only a few days into their acquaintance that Octavia had lightly questioned Lexa's depression, and the quieter girl had spilled everything to her new friend on night at Octavia's house.
Octavia had hugged her, made her coffee, wrapped her in blankets, and everything had started getting better from that point on.
Her Christmas was actually great, because she got to meet Octavia and Bellamy's parents, who doted on all of their kids friends as if they were their kids as well. And it was that Christmas night that Octavia had given Lexa a necklace with a strangle little sparkly pendant on it, squeezed her in a tight hug and promised her that everything was going to get better and be perfectly okay, because she deserved only the best.
Lexa, though not really believing that fully, began to build herself up. She actually began talking to other people in her classes, though she stuck mostly with her own friends, and started feeling a bit more like a person, and less like an toy that someone had been far too brutal with during their playtime.
At the end of sophomore year, Raven had suggested that they have their end of year party at Lexa's house, a place that none of them hung out much. Lexa agreed, and that was the night that Lexa first got drunk, and the night when one of her mom's glass vases nearly broke.
Lexa swore after that night that she would never drink again, but she did just two nights later, and partying with her friends became a regular thing. They'd had parties before, but those were the first ones where Bellamy had been able to get liquor.
Anya came back at the start of summer from college – promising their mom that this would be the last time she would, because she would get her masters degree the following year, and then she would finally buy a place to live off campus. Her mom didn't mind, though, and she actually seemed slightly disinterested in Anya for once.
In noticing this, Anya decided to try to invade Lexa's life. Lexa didn't let her into much of it, and that was when her sister somehow gathered that it would be okay to snoop in Lexa's room. She found the neatly folded up letter from Eva that was hidden in one of Lexa's books.
That's when the arguments started between Lexa and Anya. The latter immediately questioned Lexa about it when she got home later, and Lexa denied everything at first, before finally trying to explain. Her sister couldn't understand any of it, or wouldn't at least, and Lexa felt more angry at the older girl than anything. She eventually gave up, though Anya didn't give up on pestering her about it. Lexa spent a lot of that summer at Octavia's house, or Raven's house, and they partied a lot. She learned to better handle alcohol, and she began to feel like an adult, especially when she turned seventeen in early August. Octavia and Raven through her a slumber party for her birthday, and they drank and ate candy and watched movies all night. At the time, she had pegged that night as the best one in her entire life.
The weekend before junior year started, Lexa, Octavia and Raven sat themselves in a circle and made upperclassmen goals for themselves – things they would achieve before they graduated high school in less than two years. Octavia had jokingly said that she would get with Lincoln, before laughing and promising that she would get on the soccer team and work her way up to getting a soccer scholarship. Raven had said that she wanted to keep her grades at all A's, and that she wanted to keep all parts of her life equal, so that she didn't focus too much or too little on school. She had previously constantly bounced back and forth between the two, creating more and more stress for herself.
Lexa had promised herself that she would remain as happy as she was in that moment, or only get more happier.
Two days later, she met Clarke Griffin.
Initially, she had been wondering who the random blonde girl next to her was, and why on Earth she was staring so much.
It hadn't taken long until that random girl became the person closest to her, someone who prioritized her over so many things, and made her feel so important, for once. She'd gotten closer to her friends as she got closer with Clarke, as well, and even mended the relationship with her sister.
If her father, and her mother, and even Eva could see her now, she would laugh in their faces. Because after living through all of their shit and the pain they'd caused her, she was happier than ever, with a girlfriend who loved her and wouldn't let her forget it, friends who loved her almost as much, and finally a picture in her head of what her life could be like one day.
Into the second half of the year, life was fitting together for Lexa more than ever. She began making plans to go to Anya's college graduation a few hours away, hoping that Clarke would join her as well. Besides that, there was not much to do aside from prepare for her AP tests and her finals for junior year. They were the last ones that would really count, since college applications would be due before their first senior semester grade would be final.
Valentine's Day passed, and Lexa took Clarke out on a surprise date. Lincoln took Octavia out, and Wick took Raven out. Bellamy even got a date, and Finn by that point was actually getting into a new relationship as well. Clarke even saw Wells talking to some girl, and overheard him asking her out on a date for Valentine's Day. Though she hadn't spoken to him at all, it didn't seem to be paining her anymore, and for that, both she and Lexa were grateful.
During Spring Break, Clarke's mom and Marcus, who had officially begun dating Abby and who Clarke strongly approved of, took Clarke up to New York. They offered to bring Lexa as well, but the brunette refused. She wanted Clarke to have some quality time with her mom, now that she was starting to get better and better about everything.
Plus, Lexa was beginning to plan something amazing for her girlfriend – she wanted more than anything for Clarke to know how much she appreciated her, and how her life had gotten so magnificently better since she'd popped up into it.
She got Octavia in on her plan, and the soccer player ran Lexa through three jewelry stores before Lexa told her that she didn't want to get Clarke jewelry. Octavia then opted for flowers, and Lexa was doubtful, until she saw a bundle of small white flowers, growing clumped together.
They found them in a small little flower shop in a corner, owned by a woman named Luce, with a tag on the bouquet that read:
hǎo yī duǒ mĕi lì de mò li huā
hǎo yī duǒ mĕi lì de mò li huā
fēn fāng měi lì mǎn zhī yā
yòu xiāng yòu bái rén rén kuā
ràng wǒ lái jiāng nǐ zhāi xià
sòng gěi bié rén jiā
mò li huā ya mò li huā
Actually a few people have approached me about the title of this Fanfiction, and I usually get one of a few comments about it.
One or two people told me that they knew the song, which I thought was super cool. My choir sang an arrangement of it last year at a concert, and I fell in love with it and it's meaning. (curious? Wait until the next chapter).
Most people who approached me about it apparently didn't read my first A/N ;D because they didn't know what it was at all ahaha. So yes, it's a Chinese lullaby with the Hanyu Pinyin lyrics being the ones I just wrote^. Obviously there're different ways to write it in Chinese :P Also, though, Molihua is Chinese for the name of a flower - I think that I mention it in the next chapter but I honestly can't remember now, so... XD it's the Jasmine Flower, and we'll talk more about it's meaning in the next chapter to be posted tomorrow - the last chapter. :)
Someone asked me if I was going to incorporate the flower/song into the story at all, and initially I said no. Which I know, probably sounds absurd, since it's the title. I actually have mentioned the song in this story before, though not by name, and if you remember that scene, you're the true MVP ;D Anyway, though, I looked into the flower some and decided to incorporate it into the what is hopefully going to be a beautiful ending to this story. :)
Thank you all who have reviewed =) I'm a dumb dumb and forgot to check the amount of reviews before typing this, so if we did reach 400, I'll give the shoutout in the last chapter. If we didn't, maybe we can reach it before I end this story so I can give one more shoutout? :) XX
PLEASE REVIEW! :D