Disclaimer: I own nothing.
"When everything feels wrong, I feel right with you. So madly, desperate, deeply obsessed. Your love is better than mine to me. Can I have this moment forever?"
By the time we landed in Oslo, I had a serious case of jet lag and desperately wanted to pass out once we got picked up from the airport. (Luckily no one really recognized me,) otherwise we would have needed to avoid all sorts of reporters and other paparazzi since I hadn't shown my face in about four years. Still, I kept my hood on and instantly threw myself into the waiting car before Gaston could even fully open the door.
"jesus, I know you're tired but-"
"It's not that, you idiot." I cut him off and slumped further into the leather seats, peeking out of the window even though I knew the windows were dark enough so a random passerby couldn't see who was inside.
"Ah, yes. Miss Arendelle returns." He slid in next to me while our driver loaded our bags into the trunk. I think I've spent enough time next to you on the plane. I thought, resisting the urge to scoot over a little further. It wasn't that I didn't like him, I just wanted some space, having never been in the same place(s) as him for more than eight straight hours. Even when I'd just got out of the hospital, he always left, but checked on me quite consistently thereafter.
"Stop treating me like royalty." I snorted. "Besides, no one even knows I'm gone. An eight-year-old tragedy is hard to follow once the only remaining source has disappeared." I didn't know how true that statement was, considering that Olaf was still around, but I wasn't about to be immersed in headlines right off the bat. As the Cardinal, I didn't mind, but as Anna Arendelle...I could do without it.
"I'm sure they knew you were gone." Gaston quipped. "Four years without seeing those red locks next to Olaf had to have raised some questions. Especially for the ones who were obsessed with the Arendelle's." He paused for a split second. "I wonder what would Elsa do if she saw how different your life is here than it is there."
"I'm still me." I said as the driver got back in, greeting me as he did so. I nodded back. "I might be an heir to the company, but I still have a while before I eventually either step into those shoes, or I leave it with Olaf."
"But you still have money, regardless."
"Elsa is not with me because of that." I growled, getting more irritated by the second.
"How do you know she isn't?" He asked, as annoyed as I was for some odd reason. Still, the nerve of that damned bastard!
"The fact that you have the balls to say that out loud is fucking ridiculous." I sneered at him and didn't say anything more to him for the rest of the drive. Asshole.
"Take me to the beginning. You are what I believe. I'll live and die for you. This is all that I need..."
"Anna forgive me. I'm tired and hungry and-" Gaston tried apologizing once we got to the estate, but like hell I was going to forgive him right away.
"You had the nerve to run-down the one I love because you were tired? Hungry? Thinking that I'm a complete fucking idiot and that she's some sort of gold digger?" I threw my bag over my shoulder, ignoring that the driver was intending to do it for us as well. "Fuck. You. Gaston. And here I thought I was the kid." I shoved past him and also ignored Olaf as I stormed into the house. As unhappy to be here as I ever did.
Grumpily, I went up the stairs and down one of the long halls until I reached my room. It hadn't changed from the way I left it. I didn't bother looking further on, instead I pulled out my phone and immediately called Elsa. (I'd left her with the Cardinal's phone so I wouldn't rack up her phone bill with these calls.) She'd told me to call as soon as I landed, no matter what time it was there, she said she'd be waiting up for me. I wan't about to call while Gaston was around anyway. Least of all after what he'd just been bitching about. What the fuck was his problem anyway?
"Hi, Schatzi." Her sweet voice answered midway through the second ring and I almost whimpered at the relief I got just from hearing her. "Was it a good flight?"
"Hardly." I grumbled, dropping my bag and flopping on my bed. I wanted her presence. What on earth was I thinking, going through with this? Honestly, I didn't know he would start talking shit about Elsa the first chance he got. I was aware that he wasn't too fond of her but-
"What's the matter, Baby?" Elsa asked gently, already sensing my unease. I told her and she giggled. "Wow, he really doesn't like me does he?" I turned on my side, on the verge of tears. I wanted to feel her warmth. And it's only day One! How am I going to survive thirteen more days?!
"I miss you." I blurted, thankful that I could still do that with her.
"I love you." She stated. "Gaston's crazy to think I've ever thought something like that, Schatzi." I took a shaky breath, curling in on myself a little. "I don't want your money, Anna. I want you and you alone."
"If only he believed that." I exhaled harshly. "I'm sorry I called in a pissy mood."
"I'm here for you, Baby. You can tell me your problems and I'll help carry the weight, remember?" I could tell she was smiling and a lump formed in my throat. "We can do this, Schatzi. Just a few days and you'll be where you belong. Back in my arms."
"I-I love you, Elsa." I finally whimpered. I miss you.
"Don't forget your promise to me, Love." Elsa whispered, sounding like she wanted to comfort me as much as I was wanting her to. Though her words did make me remember my sole purpose for coming out here.
"I won't. And when I get back, I'm not letting you go." I felt a little lighter, suddenly. In that short time, she'd managed to restore my hope.
"I'll bring extra clothes then." She giggled. "You had better make some room in your closet for those." I could hear the teasing in her voice, but a small part of me hoped she was serious.
"That can be arranged." I had to grin. How was I ever able to live without you? The thought caused me to chuckle. "Enough about me. How are you doing, kirsebæret mitt?"
"Other than missing you like crazy, I'm up to my eyeballs in research for an essay, Emma's still pretty much sulking and my mom asked me about my ring." There was a pause. "Damn, Schatzi, this is only the first day."
"I know." I rolled on my back, thinking that it would probably be best to tone down the next calls. The whole point was to spend time apart and I was pretty sure that I'd also meant the same for the calls. "Did Emma at least take the gifts?"
"Oh yes, she loves you all the more for them. Me not so much, though I'm surprised that she hasn't questioned the ring either. Probably because she still blames me for chasing you away."
"Sorry about that." I ran a hand through my hair. "But what would you tell her if she asked?"
"The truth." She admitted cutely. "You told her you'd be back someday, but I know you'll be back sooner than that and I can't exactly lie to my little sister."
"I never wanted you to, Sweetheart." I paused, having never called her that out loud and I heard her light intake of breath too. I'm working on myself. I'm ready to move on from my past. I sighed suddenly, relaxing and found myself wanting to go back to sleep again. Speaking of- I glanced to my clock and found that it was nearing midnight there and she had school the next day. "You should get to sleep. I forgot about the time change."
"I want a goodnight kiss, first."
"I'll send you a picture of my lips." I joked. I actually joked! That had to be another baby step to what was sure to be a few more everyday this week and the next.
"I love you, Schatzi." She laughed. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Elsa." I love you too. I wanted to be able to say that last part without stuttering, but I knew she knew that. Hence, her giggling once more. My own grin tugged at my lips and I sat up to finally go say 'hi' to my butler, who was probably grilling Gaston about my sour mood upon our arrival.
"When nothing is real you are my truth. In the darkness you shine..."
"I never needed anything or anyone else. I was broken – you made me whole again. The only one I trusted more than myself..."
"Aye, ya lil devil! Long time no see!" I found myself being scooped up and spun around by my former Archery teacher. I may have spoken several languages, but I swear I could never understand what the woman was saying. Regardless, I awkwardly hugged her back and just as quickly, she let me go and went on about this, that, and the other while I frantically tried to keep up with her words. The only thing I thought I'd heard was her asking was that if I thought I was still 'a badass with a bow.'
"Did you not see my hand?" I asked incredulously, but she only snorted, still leading me out back. "Merida-"
"I see yer hand, Lass! Doesn't mean ya can't catch up with meh while I shoot off a few. Been awhile since I've seen yer gob anyway." The redhead rolled her eyes and dragged me behind her as we followed the trail that lead to the clearing in the wood, where we had long ago set up a few targets. Sure, but how can that be, when I can't understand you?
She sat me down and removed her bow from around her shoulder. She gave it to me while she stretched her arms, frizzy red hair falling to either side of her shoulders as she rolled her neck. Merida had originally started as my etiquette tutor, which I found very odd since she had acted about as lady-like as I did. There was a lot of the pot calling the kettle black between us before she inadvertently gave up and began teaching me how to use a bow and arrow. Now that was a lot more entertaining than her telling me that a 'Lady enjoys an elegant pursuit..' and other crap like that.
And she did it free of charge, which is why Olaf allowed her to keep on teaching me what she knew, thus where the majority of my weaponry knowledge came from. It was because of her that I got into it all. She'd asked me once: 'If you had the chance to your fate, would you?' and from there, I believe the idea of the Cardinal was born, because I had never considered that, even after I flew off the handle at the age of eleven. Fuck I was messed up even then. Though it was easy for Olaf to smack some sense back into me because he knew I would listen to him and then after that, Merida came along.
"So. Where have yeh been? I haven't seen or herd from yeh since our last match." Merida brought me back by slapping my shoulder, taking the bow from my hands so she could begin. "I sure missed being here."
"I've been in the United States." I answered, hoping that that was what she'd asked. Seriously, after all she's taught me, you'd think I'd understand her! The thought was amusing, if not, absurd because of the role she'd played in my former years.
"Doin' what?! What is way the hell over there?" She asked before letting the brow snap into place and the arrow suddenly appeared right in the bulls eye of the target. I was sure I could join her, but I didn't want to push it and instead said the first thing that came to mind.
"The love of my life." I answered without thinking and this time, her arrow landed in one of the trees behind the target. She gaped at me for a few seconds before shaking her head clear of thoughts.
"She says." Merida snorted and plopped down beside me. "Tell meh. Does he shine like the stars?"
"Yes. She does." I cleared my throat. "I-I mean my aunt and uncle offered to take me back. Guess they didn't want me staying here alone." Which was funny because, over there I had started out as alone as I had before I left. "I was put in public school and am trying to work a few things out before I go back."
"Yer goin' ba- oh! Well, all of that's fine and dandy, but tell me more about this other Lass. She pretty?"
"Gorgeous."
"Lemme guess. She's the reason yer dyin' to go back?" When I looked at her, she smirked at me. "Transparent, you are!"
"Well, I also have some unfinished business to take care of." I defended, now trying to steer the subject away from Elsa lest Merida tease me endlessly.
"But yer okay, right? No more of the batshit crazy acts?" She, too, changed the subject, but when I looked away, she put her arm around me, crushing me to her. "That's also why yer here, hm? Not to mention that fat bastard, Gaston that has been scarfin' down the desserts. Though I'm sure you could have come back of yer free will, without him." She chuckled.
I had decided to tell her what had happened. god, how did I NOT see all of the people that had been there for me since the beginning? Merida, Olaf, Gaston, probably a few others that I was too blind to have considered back then. I had been so selfish and ungrateful, but now that the Elsa and Emma had slowly opened my eyes somewhat, I found myself also wanting to fix a few things here before I went back.
Starting with the woman who still had her arm around me, having been contemplating what to say to me before I returned her hug.
"You've been too good to me Merida." I grinned at her. "And I'm thankful for it. Thank you for not giving up on me. I may not be there yet, but I want to thank you for your support, despite my petty ungrateful attitude before I left." I remembered beating her on our last match and I gloated. I did because I didn't know what else to do or even how to do it.
But now I did and I wouldn't hesitate to show it. I promise. I want to be a new and improved girlfriend for you, Elsa.
"Believe in your love, believe in your life. Believe that you can put me back together on the inside. Chase all the fear away. Every time I speak your name. Take me – you are what I believe..."
A/N: Song inspiration. What I Believe by Skillet.
I own nothing.