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Gregor was surprised when Luxa asked to see him privately. He contemplated asking her to meet privately, but decided against it worried she had not yet forgiven him. When she asked him to come with her to her quarters, Gregor was thrilled. He was going to leave soon, and wanted this chance to say a proper good bye. She even asked Aurora for a moment alone, so he had no one to distract them.
It was not going as he had planned. Luxa had sat on the sofa across from him, and now they sat quietly avoiding each other's eyes. Gregor glanced up at her, and watched as she pushed up her crown while she focused on something off to her left. Her hair, though still short, had started to grow out, and she kept the front neatly braided out of her eyes. Gregor appreciated that since he wanted to remember her violet eyes. He needed her to look at him though.
"So, anything in particular you wanted to talk about?" he asked after several minutes of silence. Her eyes flicked over to him, and she seemed to be contemplating something.
"I just wished to know when you planned to leave for the Overland." She folded her hands on her lap, and raised her chin slightly. Gregor almost laughed. The chin thing may help her posture for her royal duties, but in this setting it was just cute. "Of course you do know you must return for examinations to ensure your wound continues to heal properly."
"I know. I'm leaving in two days, and Howard and I already set of times for my check-ups." He tried to smile at her, but he knew it was weak.
"I suppose," she began again, slowly. "You will not be returning after that." Gregor felt his whole chest tighten. It was true. He was planning that, but hearing it from Luxa, facing the reality of it, made him feel sick.
"I was thinking that," he admitted, but his voice sounded hoarse. She nodded, and bit her lip. Suddenly, a million ideas went through Gregor's head. Crazy ideas. About moving down to the Underland, or setting up a summer home in Regalia, or holiday visits, or bringing Luxa to the Overland, or… "Well, I mean… I don't have to." Luxa looked at him, her eyes serious.
"Of course you do. It is your home. Visiting the Underland will only make things… difficult. Complicated." Her voice was so sad. Gregor could not stand it anymore, and moved to sit next to her. He took her hand.
"I could visit. My sisters love so many things about the Underland. They wouldn't mind."
"And your parents?"
"They'll get over it." Luxa shook her head, but she did not let go of his hand.
"You know it cannot work," she said softly. Gregor's ideas were getting crazier.
"Then I'll stay." They looked into each other's eyes. "I can stay here, and make visits home to get the sun I need. The Underland is a part of me and…" Gregor trailed off as Luxa shook her head, a sad smile on her face.
"You are so stupid," she said, touching his cheek. Her hand slid down Gregor's neck and rested on his shoulder. Gregor felt panicked and ready to cry. His heart pounded in his chest as he desperately tried to think of a way to stay with Luxa. But she was right. It was stupid. He was a teenager. Was he really going to complicate or throw away his life for a teenage romance?
Luxa managed a weak smile. Gregor could not think of how he could leave her. He reached out and gently pulled her toward him. He felt her do the same. They leaned close, and kissed. In that moment, Gregor's heart was both over joyed and ached terribly. He wanted to continue kissing Luxa, to continue feeling her so close to him, but he also wanted his heart to stop hurting. They separated, they're foreheads resting on each other.
They sat there for a few minutes, not saying anything. Gregor just wanted to be close to Luxa. He tried to think clearly, but the only thoughts that came to him revolved around finding a way to keep seeing her.
"I can't do it," he finally said. "I can't do it."
"You must to return to the Overland." Luxa pushed away gently. "You cannot give up your life-"
"Give up my life?" Gregor asked. "You say I can't give up my life, but I have a life down here. You want me to give that up."
"That is different, and you know it." She was right again.
"But what if…" Gregor watched Luxa shake her head slowly, but he would not be stopped now. "What if, in five or ten years, we look back and regret all of this?"
"Then we live with it," she said firmly.
"You know I won't let you do that." Luxa gave a quick laugh.
"You will have no choice."
"Yes I will. And so will you," Gregor said. His heart beat with excitement now. "I get it. We are stupid teenagers. We can't just give up our lives now, we're too young to make that decision. But we're also too young to make the decision never to seen each other again. Even just as friends."
"Gregor, we-"
"My mom always said," Gregor continued, "that if you care about someone, you won't mind waiting. We can wait. We'll both live our lives like normal. I'll finish college. You'll be an amazing queen." Luxa could not keep a smile from her face. "You'll meet suitors and move on with your life, and I'll try to do the same."
"Then," Gregor could feel hope welling inside him. "Then, in five years, I'll come back. I'll come back and see you. And if we've moved on, if we're happy then we can just continue on with our lives separately. But," he smiled. "If we still feel like this. If we still want to see each other, then we can figure out a way to make it work."
Luxa smiled at him, her head tilted slightly to the side. She looked almost amused.
"For this to work, we must both try our hardest to have good lives without each other," Luxa said. "And you must attempt to find a partner who is not me."
"Of course," Gregor replied. "And you'll meet with suitors. I'll find a career I like, and you'll be the greatest queen Regalia has ever seen."
"We will both try to have the best lives we can?" Luxa asked. "Then we will see if still wish to… to be together?"
"Yes," Gregor said, smiling. Luxa smiled back. She pulled him in, and kissed him again.
"Then I hope you have the most wonderful five years," Luxa said. "And then I hope you think I am more wonderful."
"I have a feeling I will."