She wasn't hard to find, she hadn't changed much since her video from the year before, her hair was longer and pulled into sharp ponytail and the two purple streaks in the front of her hair had been upgraded to purple highlights throughout the rest of it. She was wearing a short plaid skirt; black combat boots, and a Pink Floyd shirt. Her nails were deep purple like the long feathers dangling from the bottom of her ear, below the row of studs that lined the edge. The stud closest to the feather matched the one in her nose. Phoebe galloped up the front steps of her condo and placed the bag of groceries on the ground, she took her house keys out of her boot and looked behind her. Looked directly at them. Her cool blue eyes pierced through the dark, heavy lining on her eyes through the windows of the Impala. Dean caught his breath. But then she looked back at the door, slipped the key into it, opened it and walked inside as though nothing had happened.
"Do you think she saw us?" Sam breathed
"I don't know" Dean begun to say just as she stormed out of the house towards them
"Dean, Dean, the colt" Sam said quickly
Dean fumbled with the gun in his pocket but it was too late. She knocked on the window. Sam and Dean looked at each other, they had both expected more than an annoyed tapping. Dean covered the gun with his shirt but kept his hand on it just in case, as he rolled down the window.
"Can we help you?" Sam asked cautiously
"Can you help me?" She fumed "Sure you can help me! How about you leave me the hell alone! I am sick and tired of you people always checking up on me! That's harassment! I'm a citizen, I pay my taxes, and I know my rights!"
"Who do you think we are?"
"What do you think I'm stupid?" She huffed and crossed her arms "The crappy suits and the incredibly conspicuous car? I know cops when I see them"
Sam smiled "If we were undercover cops, don't you think we would be wearing civilian clothes instead of 'crappy suits'?"
Phoebe squinted at them both suspiciously "I don't know. You two are definitely giving off the authority vibe"
"Ms. Wright, we're not cops." Sam said reassuringly
"Then how do you know my name?"
"We're reporters" Dean chimed in with a smile "We're here to cover your side of the story from the protest last year"
"What for? That was a year ago"
"Yeah we know" Sam nodded "But we just thought it was unfair how you were vilified by the media. We just want the full story"
Phoebe leaned over and looked closer at them "How did you get my address?"
"Public knowledge. Once you get processed by the system, your address becomes publicized too" Sam lied
"I knew it!" She spat "They have no right!"
"Exactly" Dean agreed, "We can talk about that too, in the article, if you want"
"What paper do you work for?"
"The Truthly Tribune"
"The Truthly Tribune?" She snorted, "I've never heard of you"
"That's because we're not mainstream" Sam added quickly
Phoebe smiled and nodded in approval "Awesome. Okay, want to come in for a cup of coffee?"
"Sure. Where can we park?"
"Just around the corner and to the right"
"I can't do this" Dean grumbled as he pulled away from the sidewalk
"Yeah, me neither." Sam said "Now what?"
"Coffee"
The condo was nice, the walls were covered with posters of Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, ACDC, Nirvana, Bon Jovi, and The Rolling Stones, Queen and Guns and Roses. Dean didn't try to suppress the smile that took over his face as he took a seat on one of her beanbag chairs.
"What?" She smiled and handed him a mug of coffee
"Nothing. You are awesome"
"What all this?" She shrugged in mock casualty
"What does a kid your age know about Zepp?"
"A better question is what does a kid my age not know about Zepp?"
"Favorite song?"
"Ramble on, hands down"
Dean reached out his hand for a high-five which she excitedly accepted "See Sammy? What'd I tell you? Amazing"
"So, what do you want to know about the protest? Besides the fact that I was totally screwed over by the pigs"
"You threw a brick through a store window" Sam said, "You had to know you were going to get arrested"
"Yeah I knew I was going to get arrested" She crossed her legs and blew the steam off of the top of her coffee "What I didn't know is that it would start a lifetime of harassment for stuff I had nothing to do with"
"What kind of stuff?"
"Stupid stuff" Phoebe said into her cup
"You can tell us" Sam leaned forward and gave her his patented sensitive eyes; she melted.
"Can this be off the record?"
"Of course" Dean said, genuinely interested
"Okay. I don't know why I trust you, but I do"
"Hey, classic rock fans got to stick together right?"
"Alright" She nodded "Right on" She put her coffee down on the table "It's dumb"
"Go ahead" Sam, said, "It's okay"
"Well when I was little. Maybe three or four years old, my mom died in this really horrible fire. They said my dad did it and then I was taken away. I was in and out of foster homes until I turned seventeen. That's when I ran away with my band"
"You had a band?" Dean grinned
"Yeah, we called ourselves 'The Wright-wing nuts'. I was lead and bass guitar"
"Dude. You are so cool"
Phoebe made the rock on sign with her fingers and smiled
"What happened after that?" Sam asked
"We got signed, did a few tours. Real low-key stuff, nothing big, until we played on this college campus and it was just amazing. The school was so big. I remember when we were setting up, I heard this chanting somewhere off in the distance and I just had to check it out, and there were all these women standing outside trying to raise awareness of sexual assaults on college grounds. I just had to be a part of it. Next thing you know, I'm taking my GED and applying to school. I just fell in love with the struggle you know? I spent every ounce of my extra time, organizing protests and marches, raising awareness about inequality in wages for women, homelessness, domestic violence, wars, you name it and I fought for it. I had to quit the band; I was so wrapped up in it. After a while it just wasn't enough to march and talk. I had to do something. Hence the brick through the window" She smiled, "But when the took me in, they treated me like a criminal because of my dad, which is such bull you know?"
"You think your dad is innocent?"
"I don't know what to think." She said quietly. "I was home that day and there wasn't any damn fire. My mother was a pile of ashes when they found her, yet there wasn't any other fire damage anywhere else in the house, aside from my uncle."
"Did you see what happened?"
"I don't know. Maybe"
"What did you see Phoebe?" Dean asked "It's okay if it sounds weird"
"I think the fire came from my dad's hands"
Dean was surprised that she trusted them so much. A kid that young shouldn't even remember something so traumatic, let alone believe it. Phoebe's leg shook anxiously as she explained the scene of when her father came home and started yelling. She was scared but she couldn't help but run over and see what was happening. That's when she saw her father reach out and burn her mother and uncle to ash.
"I remember I asked him what he did. He just said that we were special. I never saw him again"
"I'm sorry to hear that" Sam said
Phoebe squinted her eyes a little at them "You believe me, don't you"
"Why not?" Dean shrugged
"Because it's a crazy story" She said springing up from her seat "Because anyone in the world would think I was nuts or delirious or something"
"We're not like other people"
"You two aren't reporters, are you?"
Dean put his empty mug on the table "No. We're not"
"Who are you?" Her eyes were wide and crazed
"We're people who know a little something about this sort of thing"
"Are you here to kill me?" She said taking a few steps back
"No. We're not." Sam said rising to his feet "We just want to talk"
"Good. Because I really don't want to have to hurt you"
"You know what you are, don't you?" Dean asked also rising
"Yes. I'm a phoenix like my father. And you two must be hunters, which means you're going to try and kill me"
"You know we can't do that"
"Doesn't mean you won't try. You're not the first hunters to come my way. Just the nicest, so I really don't want to have to hurt you"
"You killed other hunters?" Dean creased his brow
"One, and it was an accident. I didn't know what I was capable of. But it was self defense, he was trying to kill me"
"Okay, let's just try to calm down" Sam put a cautious hand out
"Why does everyone want me dead? I never hurt anybody! I am not my father"
"We know that" Sam said soothingly "It's true. When we came down here, we were going to hunt you-"
"Why?" She screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
"Because you have something we need."
Phoebe's eyes shot quickly around the room, probably looking for something of value that they could possibly want "Then just take it. Whatever it is, you can have it. Take it and leave me alone"
"It's not that simple" Dean said
"Why not? Just take it and go" Her eyes had begun to glint in the light from a light coat of tears
"Because, we need ashes sweetheart"
Her eyes widened at him "What?"
"It's a long story-"
"I deserve to know why you want to kill me." She demanded
Sam did most of the talking while Phoebe sunk down in her purple beanbag chair and listened. There were several squiggly mascara lines that had made their way down her face and collected at the bottom of her chin. Dean took a tissue from the box on the coffee table and handed it to her. She took it and held it in a crumpled heap in her hands. They had broken bad news before, but he could hardly stand it this time. She looked nothing like Penny, her hair was straight and bleached blonde, Penny's was golden brown and wavy, Phoebe's electric blue eyes were almond and piercing, Penny's were wide, hazel, and innocent, Phoebe was purple, Penny was pink, and Dean was having a hard time watching her cry. He blinked hard and pulled himself together. This was his job, she was not his daughter, and he needed to get his act together.
"How do I know that you're not lying?" She asked Sam "You have done nothing but lie since you got here, so how do I know you aren't just making up this whole thing so you can kill me?"
"I guess you don't" He shook his head "But I think you know the truth already. Don't you?"
Phoebe tucked a fallen bang out behind her ear "I saw her in a dream. At least I thought it was a dream at first. She's the one who told me what I was. I mean I knew what I was already, I looked it up, but she made me sure. She said that she created me and now was the time to rise up. She says she's watching over me" Phoebe closed her eyes "I can feel her"
"Wait, does that mean you know where she's camped out?" Dean asked
Phoebe nodded "But she can see us. She can see all of us. I don't think she can be killed"
"Where is she?"
"Grants Pass, Oregon" Phoebe bit her lip "Are you going to hurt me?"
"Trust me. We don't want to"
Cas appeared beside her then. She screamed and fell out of her chair "Who's that?"
"You couldn't have knocked or something first?" Dean squinted
"Phoebe, it's okay" Sam explained, "This is Castiel. He's an angel and friend of ours"
"I didn't think angels were real." She panted as she scrambled to her feet
"We are" Cas said flatly and turned to Dean "What's taking so long. We have to hurry"
"Oh God please no" She cried and Cas stepped forward
"You want to save the world right? Isn't that what you're always talking about? Isn't that why you were arrested? You want to take action. Die for your beliefs"
"I don't want to die"
"Then you're a hypocrite"
"Okay Cas, go easy" Dean said
"We don't have time for this" Cas snapped back "People are dying and we don't have a lot time. Phoebe, are you going to help us save the world, or not"
"There has to be another way!"
"There is no other way"
"Cas" Sam said this time "Phoebe look, it's okay"
"You've killed before" Cas continued, "You'll kill again. She will make you kill again"
"That was self defense"
"You know you can't die. You didn't have to kill, you chose to. Soon it won't be a choice. You will become a monster and you will kill again."
"I can control my urges!"
Cas walked in front of her, his body towered over her as she nearly buckled in fright; he leaned in and asked, "How do you know? How do you know that you won't just give in and kill again?"
"I won't. I can't. I'm sorry" She cried, "I didn't mean to kill him, I was just so angry!"
"You will kill again, and when you do, it will be too late to save you or anyone else. Thousands of people will die, and it will all be on your hands"
"Cas!" Dean shouted
"Phoebe, we don't know that" Sam added, "You're obviously not the only phoenix around. We'll find someone else"
"But he's right. What if I kill someone? I get so angry! I'm dangerous!"
Dean grabbed Cas's arm and pulled him away from her "Look, we'll lock you down 'til this whole thing's over, okay? You'll be safe"
"I don't know. I'm so scared" She sobbed, "He's right about all of it. I don't trust myself anymore. Maybe you should just- I could have let him go. He was screaming. I can still remember him begging. I didn't care! I was just so-" she couldn't finish the sentence, her words choked out in wordless grunts and coughs
"Phoebe" Sam said, "It wasn't you. Eve is controlling you and every other creature like you. She's the one making you kill"
"And you can stop it" Cas added, "Before anyone else gets hurt"
Phoebe caught her breath and pushed the fallen hair away from her face "Okay" her bottom lip quivered "I'll do it" she squeaked out in a whine
"Phoebe, it doesn't have to be you" Dean urged
"For as long as I could remember, I've wanted to help people. Save the world. I encouraged people to stop talking and act…" She started crying again "Some things are worth dying for."
"There's a weapon that can kill you. It will be painless" Cas said
Dean looked at Cas in disbelief and utter shock at the angel's callousness. Cas's face was cold and hard, unrecognizable. Suddenly he saw a glimpse of the kind of thing that could hurt Ferrah that way and his stomach dropped.
"Dean?" Cas nodded towards the colt on Dean's belt. Dean just stood there stunned, Sam was no different, he stared at Cas with the same astonishment on his face.
"Why don't you two wait outside?" Cas said and touched them both on the shoulder. In an instant Sam and Dean were on the outside porch. There was a loud bang and Cas appeared next to them with a jug of ashes in one hand and the colt in the other. He handed both to Sam. The brothers looked down at the bottle of ashes that used to be young Phoebe Wright and then back at Cas.
"We needed to move this along" He said, "I'll give you a chance to gather yourself so we can go" and vanished
The trip back to Bobby's was silent, not a word was spoken between either of the two brothers until they crossed back into Sioux Falls.
"How could he" Sam finally uttered
Dean sighed, "We needed the ashes. She killed before"
"How are you not more upset about this?" Sam accused
"Do you see me jumping up and down clicking my heels?" Dean shot back "I didn't want her dead either, but like you said, it's the job" But that didn't make him feel any better. He could never un-see the Castiel that he saw that day; the cold, callous, apathetic creature that manipulated and gunned down a girl to serve his higher purpose. Their higher purpose. Dean took a deep breath, maybe he was mistaken, Cas would never do anything like that without feeling anything about it. He was practically human, he felt joy, pain, and remorse just the same as anyone else. But no matter how hard Dean tried, he couldn't get the angel's stone-like stare out of his head. He flicked on the radio.
"Help! I need somebody! Help! Not just anybody! Help! You know I need someone, Help!" The Beatles screamed through the speakers, it reminded him of Phoebe, he changed the station.
"Help me if you can, I'm feeling down"
Dean changed the station again.
"And I do appreciate you being 'round. Help me get my feet back on the ground"
"What the hell?" Dean frowned and flipped through the next few stations
"Won't you pleeeeease, please help me?"
"That's weird" Sam looked over at him and in that moment Dean knew.
"Ferrah."