"Even if the occasion may seem wrong, there's always got to be a right reason." ~ Ranger Bourne
Chapter Thirty One- Our Baby
(Logan)
Now that the rabbit that I caught an hour or so ago has been put in the oven to begin cooking, I start preparing the leaves too. As I work, I glance over my shoulder to see Belle slowly making her way towards me, watching me closely.
"Hello love," I whisper, turning around to wrap my arms behind her back, pressing my lips against her hot forehead.
Despite how she's not exactly how she should be, I smile because the only thing that's keeping our bodies from completely touching is the huge baby bump between us. I lift her hands up and rest our hands on it, my smile growing even larger as I feel the gentle kicking of our baby.
It definitely isn't the ideal situation for us but we've always wanted our own child. Of course there would be better places to be now because Belle's over eight months pregnant whilst we're stuck in a death competition. Belle's going to be stressed, scared and constantly worried about dying. And, if the baby's going to be born, I'm never going to see them.
I wonder if the baby will be a boy or a girl and what they will look like. They may have their mother's beautiful golden curls or my pale blonde hair. They might have my silver-green eyes or their mother's violet eyes, which are the same colour as the amethyst in her engagement ring that I bought her but she can't wear now. They could have her enchanting smile, her rosy cheeks, her little nose, and her gentle, hard-working hands. Maybe they will have her great personality, her delicate voice, and some of her unique characteristics.
I wouldn't mind if they looked somewhat like me but I'd definitely prefer if they bore the greater resemblance to their mother.
"How do you do all this?" she asks with a smile playing on her lips, interrupting my thoughts with her soft voice and distracting beauty.
"Do all what?" I reply, carefully studying her flushed face.
"You know what," she sighs. "You can go hunting and prepare food and look after me all whilst keeping care of yourself."
"You're the priority at the moment," I say. "How's your leg?"
"Well, you didn't see me earlier when I was limping but, now that you're holding me up, I'm perfectly fine," she answers.
I pull a face. "Is that lotion that you made not doing it any good then?"
"I personally think it's doing worse," she admits.
"Can I see it?" I question.
She nods, pushing my arms away so she can step back. I let her go, keeping my eyes fixed onto her figure as she sits down on the bed and rolls up the leg of her trousers. She bites her lip as the material brushes over the wound and she tries to stop herself from crying out in pain.
I groan as I look at her leg, turning away for a second to remove the animal from the oven so that this building doesn't catch on fire. Then I turn back around and kneel on the floor next to her, muttering, "You need to go home, Belle."
"I know," she agrees, a tear sliding down her cheek. "I don't want them to get hurt."
"And you're hurt too," I add, forcing myself to look from her face and to her leg, where the gash nearly reaches her hip and is still deep after three days. I shake my head, unsure of how the Capitol have just left her like this until I hear a quiet beeping outside and I jump to my feet, grabbing my sword and opening the door.
"Where are you going, Logan?" she asks, panic rising in her voice for some reason.
"I won't be gone longer than a minute," I promise, shutting the door behind me so no one can reach her.
I step onto the soft forest floor and look around, trying to locate the source of the beeping until I spot a silver container attached to a white parachute and smile. I quickly walk over to it and pick it up, glancing inside it to find a jar with a note that reads, 'She needs to stay safe.' Finally, they've thought about her and sent her some help.
I instantly make my way back to the house and enter it, shutting it behind me as I lean my sword by the door like it was before. I begin to turn back as I say, "I've got something for your leg, you'll be okay now."
When I'm facing Belle, I nearly drop the gift as I see her curled into a ball on the bed, her back to me. She's shaking as her breathing is laboured and I can hear her sobbing. I stare at the sheets, which are covered in blood, and I swear I didn't see anyone come in.
I run over to her and put the jar on the bedside table, lifting her head and placing it on my lap. I look at her and realise that the blood has come from her leg but I still can't understand anything else. I saw nothing in the thirty seconds that I was away that could have affected her and I told her that I wasn't leaving her, so that couldn't have been the problem.
Just as I'm about to open my mouth to say something, she grabs my shirt in her fist and pulls it towards her, then pushes it away so she's kind of punching my stomach. "It hurts!" she finally shouts, her voice cracking.
"What does?" I question, seriously worried.
"They're hurting me," she answers. "My back and just below the bump ache and the bump itself feels tight."
Her tears begin to soak onto my trouser leg and I kiss her cheek as I begin rubbing her back, knowing it won't be much help. "You'll be okay, I promise," I whisper into her ear.
"But I won't be," she argues. "What if I give birth to the baby now and they die or I die in the process because I won't be in a proper hospital or we both survive the birth but someone kills them and maybe me or what if we both survive and then you kill yourself because you want us to survive? They wouldn't let me and the baby out anyway because that would be two survivors and they never allow that-"
"Belle," I interrupt, "you're not going to have the baby now but, yes, you will come out instead of me and they will allow you to come out. The both of you." Before I allow her to start complaining again, I grab the jar of lotion for her leg and instruct, "Hold my hand and squeeze it when it really hurts whilst I put this on your leg."
She nods and sighs, obviously tired as she tries to regulate her breathing again. I lean over to her leg, after taking the lid off, and put a small amount on my fingers. I slowly rub it on the top of the wound and she hisses, tightly squeezing my hand, so I stop for a minute and whisper something so only she can hear. She laughs and loosens her grip slightly, allowing me to put some on the rest of her leg.
Once I've finished, I rub my the remnants of the lotion on my jacket and I lift her up so she's now sitting on my lap. She tries to mask the pain she feels by smiling at me, so I try to ignore the nagging thoughts at the back of my mind. "Thank you, Logan," she says, her eyes shining with the tears.
"Don't thank me, thank those who paid for it," I reply, bringing my thumbs across her cheeks to wipe away her tears. "See, they want to keep the two of you sa-"
"I love you," she announces, taking her turn to interrupt.
"I love you too," I agree.
"I'd be worried if you didn't." She smiles and twists around so her entire body is facing mine and I have the baby bump pressed against my own stomach again as her legs rest on either side of my waist; the baby is not going to stop kicking and I feel so sorry for Belle.
Her smile is sweet and makes me catch my breath because it's the same true one that she gave me before I couldn't help but kiss her that first time. I lean forward and place a soft kiss on her lips like our first time. I begin moving back but her hands appears behind my head and she brings my face back to hers, kissing me with more passion that we've experienced in a while. I wrap my arms around her as she pushes me into the wall, where the kiss deepens.
"Belle," I groan against her mouth. She's made me want more again and I know that we can't do anything else.
She giggles lightly due to the fact that she knows exactly how she's made me feel and removes her lips from mine, running them down my neck. I try doing the same to her but she catches my face and kisses me again, before she pulls away with a sharp curse.
I sigh, resting my chin on the top of her head as she buries her face into my chest, her hands tightly clenching my shirt again. I slowly rub circles on her back as she calms her breathing to a regular rhythm once more.
"I want to go home," she admits after a few minutes when no sound was made other than her steady breathing.
"I want you to go home as well," I agree. "You're hurting and it's hurting me to see you like this."
"I'm going to give birth to the baby in two weeks at the most and I want to be in District Six for that," she extends. "I want you to be with me. I want to be sitting in our home with local doctors and nurses coming to help me give birth. I want to be able to hold our baby and sleep in our bed. I want to be able to show them the District. I want to be able to bring up a whole family with you."
By the time she's finished, her words have become muffled by how much further she's pushed her face into my shirt and started crying. Seeing and hearing her, I start crying too, unable to see her suffer. "I will take you home, even if it involves breaking all the rules; you and I will be going home together."
Again, I hear a beeping which breaks the mood, but this time the parachute lands next to me, still unnoticed by Belle. I open it and see a second note which says, 'Only three drops every time she has a contraction and it'll relieve the pain. Good luck on getting you all out.'
I am unbelievably grateful to whoever sent this as I pick up the pipette and bottle, muttering, "Tell me when you have your next contraction, love."
"Believe me, you'll know," she promises, finally lifting her face up to look at me. "Why though?"
"This," I answer, showing her the bottle. "It's meant to relieve the pain."
She smiles and throws her arms around me to hug me tightly. "I'm glad they finally took the hint- Ouch!" she shouts, slamming my shoulder into the wall by accident. Before I have the chance to react, she's already grabbed the bottle out of my hand and drank three mouthfuls.
"Belle!" I shout, snatching it from her hand and smashing it to the floor. I stare as she goes pale and falls backwards onto the mattress as I mutter, "Belle, talk to me."
She looks at me, fear evident in her eyes as she reaches for my hand and I bring it to her face, this being her way of communication because she is now obviously unable to talk. But she can still cry and the tears begin flowing down her cheeks as she takes my other hand and places it where I can still feel the baby kicking. She attempts to smile at me but she can't force herself to do such a thing.
"Belle, just keep looking at me," I plead. "I promised that I wouldn't let anything hurt either of you so please don't go. You've got to stay with me. Do you remember how excited I got when you first went on a date with me and how I couldn't feel anything else in the world after we first kissed? Do you remember the giant celebrations that followed when I proposed to you and we got married on the same day? Do you remember what we said when we first found out you were pregnant? How happy we were? We said we wanted a little wolf to run around us. You can call them Drew or Noah if they're the names you like, or even Logan if that's what you want. Or Elena or Clarion or Arielle. I don't care, Belle, just please don't go."
She nods but closes her eyes and I feel the pulse in her hands dying down as the baby kicks no more.