Resolutions

By Neurotica

Thirty-Five

"Sirius! DOWN!"

Remus watched in horror as his best friend looked to him in question, then turned around just in time for the bright green light hit his chest. Sirius was thrown backwards from the force of the curse and finally hit the ground hard. The battle had paused in Remus' mind; all he could see was Sirius' lifeless body, just yards away from him. His chest was so tight it hurt and he couldn't breathe, but he hardly noticed as he slowly made his way through the battle to Sirius.

He couldn't be dead. He and Remus had been convinced they were invincible, though deep down they knew better. Regardless, Sirius was supposed to live through the war, not die in the final battle. He'd been so close, and now he was gone. What would happen to Mira and Naomi? How would Harry react? Remus and Sirius were a team; they couldn't be separated... ever.

Remus turned to find the Death Eater who'd killed his best friend—he would get revenge—and found the Death Eaters were gone. All that remained in the area were bodies. Bodies that Remus knew well. His family. Emmeline, Naomi, Harry, Molly, the Weasley children, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hagrid, Hermione... Mira... and the twins...

Remus jolted awake with a strangled yell. He was soaked with cold sweat, and his heart was threatening to burst right out of his chest. Once he managed to relax a bit and catch his breath, he looked over at Emmeline, taking comfort in her chest rising and falling. He suddenly had the overwhelming urge to see his sons and hold them.

He slipped out of bed, careful not to jostle Emmeline out of her peaceful sleep, and left the room, heading down the hall to the nursery. He opened the door and entered, smiling immediately at the sight of his boys' cribs. He first stopped at Mira's crib, making sure she was still all right. The little girl was sleeping close to her stuffed black dog, a little too close for Remus' comfort. He moved the toy to Mira's feet so she wouldn't turn her face into it and suffocate. After he pulled the blanket Molly had knitted over Mira—she'd kicked it off in the course of the night—he moved on to John's crib. The eldest twin was sleeping as peacefully as his mother, and Remus watched him for a few minutes, smiling softly.

Though the twins had been born two months early, they were perfectly healthy (Thank god), and were quite strong for their age and weight. John had taken Sirius' finger in his tiny hand, and Sirius had been surprised at how tight his grip had been. Ted had been over numerous times since their birth for check-ups, and had said over and over how incredible and odd it was for twins born two months early to be as healthy and without problems as they were. Remus wondered if it had anything to do with the werewolf gene they carried.

A whimper behind him made him turn, and he found Alex wide awake, staring at the mobile of baby animals over his crib.

"Hey there," Remus said quietly, reaching into the crib and brushing some of Alex's hair off his forehead. "What are you doing awake and not crying?" He picked up his youngest son carefully and moved across the large room to the window and rocking chair where Remus and Naomi had had a late night conversation after Mira was born.

"You know, you're one of many miracles I never thought I'd see in my life," Remus told his son quietly. Alex only let out a tiny yawn as he settled comfortably in his father's arms. "I'm sure you'll hear the story a thousand times in your life, so I won't bore you with it now. But you are a miracle. Your mother and your Uncle Sirius and Aunt Naomi may not understand what it means for me to be the father of two children who will never be werewolves. I was so afraid that I'd made a mistake by fathering children, but once you and your brother were born, and I held you both for the first time, I knew I hadn't made any mistake at all; you two were one of the best decisions I've ever made—you're tied with deciding to marry your mother.

"There will be a lot of love in this family, Alex. So many people already love you, and that will never change. Outside the family, however, there will be a lot of people who will try to bring you down because of..." Remus hesitated, not wanting to admit it aloud. "Well, because of me. But don't listen to them, son. You will be your own person, regardless of the fact that you have an identical twin.

"You were born at a very difficult time in the wizarding world. Voldemort—always call him by his name, Alex, no matter what anyone says—wants our family destroyed." Remus sighed, remembering his dream. "I won't let it happen. We will all live through this war." He sincerely hoped he wasn't lying to his son. "Whatever it takes, I will not lose any more of my family."

Remus looked away from his son to the window. The full moon was approaching. He could tell by the phase of the moon and he could feel it in his bones. This would be the first full moon in months that the wizarding world would have to worry about a mass attack by werewolves. If there was an attack, the werewolves who had worked so hard to live a normal life would go back to receiving the disgusted stares and hearing the names people called them.

"There's a lot of hate out there. Just always remember that your family loves you very, very much. Your family is where you belong. Your family will support you through everything that comes up in your life. And if you find the right friends, you'll find happiness you never knew existed. But you're too young for all that, aren't you?" Remus smiled, finding his son now sound asleep.

Remus slowly stood up went back to Alex's crib. After kissing the small boy's forehead, he carefully placed him back in the crib, covering him with yet another Molly-made blanket. He turned to look at John behind him, then back at Alex. "I love both of you. Don't ever forget that."

A few minutes later, he left the nursery and headed back to bed.

Sirius crouched down and crawled along the hedges, his wand in his mouth so as not to snap it in half. He could see them through the leaves and they were looking for him. He stopped crawling and sat on his knees, taking his wand out of his mouth. Using a non-verbal Disillusionment charm, he slowly stood, careful not to make a sound that could give his location away. He was staring right at Lucius Malfoy's back as the Death Eater spoke quietly with Bellatrix. It took every ounce of restraint he had not to do something irreversible to the both of them. But he had to wait. He didn't know if there were other Death Eaters hiding somewhere.

The ground began to shake. Sirius was able to keep his surprised scream silent as he tried to get his balance again. He looked around, trying to find the source of the small earthquake. It took a minute, but Sirius finally saw it. The ground in front of Lucius and Bella was opening, as though something was pushing through. Whatever it was, Sirius didn't want to see it. It took some time, but the thing got its head through. All the air in Sirius' lungs disappeared—he recognized the thing's hair.

It was James.

James, obviously an Inferius, climbed clumsily out of the hole and stood before Lucius like a soldier waiting for orders. Lucius ignored him, watching the hole James had climbed out of. Lily was next, and though Sirius didn't want to look at her, he couldn't turn away. The redhead (Don't know if you could really consider that a red head, with all the dirt and... what is that? No, don't want to know...) stood beside James.

I know what's coming, but I wish it wouldn't, Sirius thought desperately.

Julia climbed out and Sirius nearly threw up. He didn't want to see this... But Sirius was shocked out of staring at the Inferi Julia. Remus followed Julia. Then came Emmeline, Naomi, and Harry.

Lucius smiled coldly. "Your mission is to kill Sirius Black," he said to his Inferi army.

Sirius was convinced no one could see him due to his Disillusionment Charm, but apparently, he was very wrong. Lucius turned to him and stared right at him.

"I warned you, Black. I told you I would get my revenge, and the time has finally come. Goodbye." Lucius stepped aside as the Inferi approached him.

Sirius tried to curse them, set them on fire, but nothing worked. His family—

No, they're not my family, Sirius tried to convince himself. He had no idea how his family had died, but right now it didn't matter. He had to defend himself.

The Inferi were getting nearer, and Sirius suddenly realized the hedges he'd been hiding behind had disappeared. An ice-cold hand grasped his shoulder and the Head Auror turned to find Julia had somehow made it to him before the others. His other shoulder was seized tightly by Naomi. The other four were closing in. His wand was gone. It was all over—

Sirius bolted straight up in bed. He reached over blindly for his wand and whispered "lumos," lighting up the room. There was a groan beside him as Naomi's eyes fluttered open. He put his legs over the edge of the bed, placed his elbows on his knees, and let his head fall into his hands.

"Sirius?" Naomi said sleepily. "What's wrong?"

Sirius couldn't reply for the longest time. His brain wouldn't connect to send messages to his vocal chords. Finally, he was able to hoarsely speak. "Bad dream," he was able to get out. "Really bad dream..."

He jumped a little as Naomi laid a hand on his shoulder. It took him a moment to register that her hand was warm, unlike the one in the dream. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head hard. "No, I can't... That was one of the worst dreams I've ever had. And that includes the ones I had in Azkaban."

She sighed. "Okay. Are you going to be able to get back to sleep?"

"Eventually," Sirius replied. "I'm going to walk down to the kitchen, get something to drink."

He was at the door before Naomi really knew what was going on. "Okay..." she said, slightly confused.

His wand lit, Sirius stepped out into the hall. Has it always been this dark? he asked himself, not wanting to admit that, after his dream, he was more than a little afraid of the dark.

Gulping, he went down the hall and down the stairs. As he turned the corner, he saw that the lights in the basement kitchen were on. Thinking it was probably Molly doing some late night cleaning, he headed down. When he got there, he found not Molly, but Remus with his head bowed over a bottle of butterbeer.

Sirius blinked the image of the Inferius-Remus stumbling towards him, a blank look in his dull blue eyes. "Moony?" he said croakily.

His best friend started, turning slowly towards him. "Hey, what are you doing up?"

Sirius shrugged. "Couldn't sleep," he said, hesitant to admit he'd had a nightmare. I'm not ten years old... Only kids have nightmares that keep them up all night...

"Same here," Remus said quietly, turning back to his drink.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at the tone his friend used, but went to the icebox to get a butterbeer for himself before sitting across from him. The two wizards sat in silence, lost in their own thoughts. The fear from Sirius' dream still hadn't faded completely, though he was finally starting to recognize that his family was alive and not everyone was an Inferius. He did, however, have a flashback to the horrid night when he and Remus had been faced with the Inferi of Lily and James. That was something he'd never forget.

"This is the second time I've been up tonight," Remus said quietly, jolting Sirius from his thoughts.

He looked at his best friend. "Yeah? Why?"

"The first time, I..." Remus hesitated. "I'd had a nightmare and I went to see the boys. I spent about thirty minutes just talking to Alex, as if he understood every word I said. Once he was asleep again, I went back to bed. Then I lay there, and my mind drifted back to my dream. I couldn't stay in bed anymore."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You had a nightmare?" he asked.

Remus nodded.

"Me too. What was yours about?"

"Er, well, it was about the final battle, and you were killed by the Killing Curse. Then I found out my entire family, including the twins and Mira, had been killed as well, which is impossible, since they would never be in that situation..." Remus looked at Sirius' slightly horrified face curiously. "What was yours?"

Sirius cleared his throat. "Well, Lucius and Bella—"

"That's cause enough for a nightmare," Remus muttered under his breath.

The other wizard grinned; it faded quickly. "They summoned a small army of Inferi. And it wasn't just any Inferi army; every one of them was a member of my family—Lily, James, Julia... everyone but the children. And their orders were to destroy me. I'd been hiding behind these bushes, disillusioned, watching... They came up through the ground..." He trailed off, not wanting to say any more about it. Besides, by the look on his face, Remus got the idea.

Remus raised his wand and summoned something with a non-verbal charm. Sirius smiled slightly and even let out a tiny chuckled when Remus handed him a chocolate bar with peanuts. "I've had about three already to make myself feel better," he said. "Maybe it will actually work for you."

Sirius began to open the wrapper. "Doubt it, but at least it's an excuse to eat chocolate."

The Forbidden Forest was dark on any given day, but today it seemed too dark than what was natural. Harry widened his eyes as he walked down the path, and finally remembered to light his wand.

That was a mistake.

He let out a fearful yell as his mind registered exactly what his eyes were seeing. From nearly every tree hung a dead body. The bodies varied only in their obvious cause of death. Some of the bodies had been killed by werewolves—their bloody, torn-out throats gave that away. Some of the bodies had eyes wide open in fear and surprise—the Killing Curse. Harry couldn't figure out how some of the others had died and he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

But for all the fear that filled him, he continued walking. Something inside him wanted to see where this path was taking him. He walked for miles, trying only to look at the dirt and rock under his feet. This wasn't easy, especially since every few steps, he swore the bodies were moving, reaching out for him...

He was sure they were all victims of Voldemort, and he silently fumed that all these people were killed for such a senseless cause.

Finally, he could see a speck of light ahead of him. He began to jog, and after a moment, his eyebrows rose as he heard something behind him, matching his steps almost exactly. He sped up to a run, then a sprint as the light increased. At last he could see what was beyond the trees of hanging bodies: Hogwarts.

His family was sitting on the steps of Hagrid's hut, smiling and waving at him. Ginny was holding a bundle of blankets and alternating her beaming face from it to Harry.

Harry smiled widely and began to head towards them. But the entrance to the forest was blocked suddenly by Voldemort. Harry fell to his knees, screaming in agony and grasping his head, wanting nothing more than to scratch his lightning bolt scar out of him.

"Hello, Harry Potter," Voldemort said smoothly, smiling coldly at Harry. "My dear boy, you have not yet learned the true meaning of pain." The Dark Lord looked past Harry, nodded once, and disappeared.

Before Harry could look behind him, several cold hands grabbed him and began dragging him back into the forest, away from his family who still smiled brightly at him—

Harry's eyes snapped open and he threw his blankets off him, letting them fall over the end of the bed. He sat up and looked around the dormitory slowly, not caring that everything was blurry without his glasses. Once his heartbeat returned to a more regular speed, he reached over to his bedside table for his glasses, slipping them on his sweaty face carefully with shaking hands.

"What the hell was that?" he asked himself, still breathing heavily.

He suddenly heard thrashing in the bed beside his. He looked to Ron's bed, and realized it wasn't his best friend, then looked to his other side and raised an eyebrow. In seven years of sharing a dorm with him, Harry had never heard Neville having a nightmare. And judging by the moans and groans that went with the rustling bedcovers, it was a rather bad one.

Harry threw his legs over the side of his bed and crossed to Neville's, opening the bed curtains. Neville was drenched in sweat and Harry thought he might be crying as well.

"Neville," Harry whispered, shaking the other wizard gently. "Neville, wake up!"

Neville continued to dream, his eyes closed tightly. Harry briefly wondered how his dorm mates had woken him after his nightmares—he'd never bothered to ask. He continued to call Neville's name and shake his shoulder. Finally after several minutes of this, Neville's eyes snapped open as quickly as Harry's had.

Once Neville was able to take in his surroundings, he focused on Harry. "Harry?" he choked out. "That you? What're you doing?"

"You were having a nightmare," Harry replied. "You all right?"

Neville shrugged. "I'll be fine."

He'd tried to be convincing, but Harry could see, even in the dark, he was far from fine. "You want to come down to the common room for a bit?"

Neville thought for a moment. "Okay."

Harry backed away so the other boy could get out of bed and put his slippers on.

The two young wizards left the dormitory quietly and took the spiral stairs leading to the common room. Harry hesitated before pointing his wand at the fireplace and muttering, "Incendio." He was quite relieved to see there were no bodies hanging from the ceiling.

Shaking himself, he turned to find that Neville had already selected an armchair. Harry took the one beside him and looked at his friend's troubled face. "What were you dreaming about?" he asked before he could stop himself.

Neville gulped. "Do you know what happened to my parents?"

Harry nodded.

"Well, it was about them. They were dead, only... they weren't. Does that make sense?"

Again, Harry nodded.

"At first, they looked normal, like they do in the pictures I have, and everything was fine. It was like nothing had ever happened to them. We were having breakfast, and I was telling them about school. Then it changed, and we were in this... cemetery, I suppose. I turned around to ask them why we were there, and they looked..." Neville shivered. "It was horrible, Harry, you can't imagine..."

"You'd be surprised," Harry said, staring into the fire. "I had almost the same type of dream. Except it wasn't my parents... My family was just outside the Forbidden Forest, and just as I started to go to them, something grabbed me. That's when I woke up."

Neville stared. "So we both dreamed of dead people?"

"Seems so," Harry said, turning away from the fire.

"Wonder what that means."

Harry shook his head. "I thought mine was because of Voldemort. He was in it too, now that I think about it."

"Why would you want to think about it?"

Harry realized Neville had no reaction to hearing Voldemort's name. A few years ago, he would have hidden under his chair. Harry decided to change the subject; he didn't want to think about his dream anymore. "So what're your plans after Hogwarts?"

Neville turned pink and tried to slump down in his chair. "I, er, wanttobeanauror."

"Huh?" Harry said.

Neville sighed. "I want to be an Auror," he repeated clearly, his whole face turning pinker, but looking like he dared Harry to laugh at him.

"Good plan," Harry said after a few surprised moments. "I thought you might've done something with Herbology."

"I thought so too, but... I don't know. It sounds stupid, but I want to help end the war."

"That doesn't sound stupid," Harry said. "It's a great reason."

"Gran thinks it's great that I want to be like my father, but that isn't why I'm doing it. My parents died because of Voldemort—" Harry's eyes widened at Neville's use of the name. "That's why you're becoming an Auror, isn't it? Because of him?"

"Partially," Harry replied. "My whole family has been Aurors. I know your parents were too—Sirius talks about them once in a while—he's an Auror too, so I guess I'm just expected to be one."

"You don't have to be," Neville said. "Everyone knows you; you could do whatever you wanted."

"That's just the thing, though," Harry said, suddenly feeling the need to vent. "Everybody knows me, so if I don't pick what job I want, they'll start fighting over me, and they'll give me a job I'm not qualified for, then I'll screw up, and everyone will start to think I'm just a famous name. I've done everything I could to keep that from happening at Hogwarts, and for the most part, everyone's let me be. Not to mention, I've had to try and get away from Sirius' reputation. Then everyone found out about Remus being a werewolf..." He stopped himself, blushing a bit. "Sorry, I'm rambling."

Neville shrugged. "It's all right," he said. "I always wondered how you handled all this. It's not like you asked to be famous." He hesitated. "Harry, have you ever heard the prophecy between you and Voldemort?"

Harry's eyebrows shot up. "How'd you know about that?" he demanded. "Who told you?"

Neville raised his hands in defense. "My Gran told me, last year. She had a pensieve with Dumbledore's voice..."

Harry relaxed. "Oh," he said. "So then you know who the other boy was."

Neville nodded. "Yes," he replied gravely. "Gran cried when she showed it to me, and she hardly ever cries. She said that when the Death Eaters came to my parents' house when I was a baby, they were looking for you."

"Yeah, I heard that too," Harry said awkwardly. "I suppose it's actually my fault your parents were... hurt..."

"Not what Gran says. She says my parents played stupid, telling the Death Eaters they had no idea where you were. Actually, they were working with Dumbledore, standing guard around your relatives' house to keep you safe, so they knew what they were doing. While my mum was hiding me, my dad was arguing with them. So they died heroes," Neville finished rather brightly for the conversation they were having.

Harry wondered if he should ask the question he'd wondered for years. "Neville, do you know why your parents didn't use the Fidelius Charm like mine did?"

"I don't know," the other replied thoughtfully. "Gran says it was because they knew it wasn't me they wanted. But I have my own theory, want to hear it?"

Harry nodded.

"Well, our parents were friends, right? They knew one of us was wanted by Voldemort, but they didn't know who, so they decided who the more likely target was. Your parents took you into hiding under the charm, and my parents just went into hiding. They knew it was a risk, but they did it anyway, to help keep your parents safe. Our parents were in contact, you know. I've found a few letters from your mum to mine."

Harry smiled. "I saw a picture in one of Remus' photo albums of me and you on my first birthday—I guess it was yours too, technically. Our dads are holding us and trying to get us to look at the camera. Sirius says we were staring at the cake..."

Neville chuckled. "I'd like to see that sometime." He yawned and looked at his watch. "Wow, later than I thought. I suppose we should go to bed. Potions first thing in the morning," he said with a grimace.

"You know what would be great?" Harry said as they walked up the stairs. "If the Potions teaching spot was cursed like the Defense position is."

Sirius yawned widely and looked around the kitchen at the other Order members. It seemed he and Remus weren't the only ones who'd had trouble sleeping the night before. Tonks was dozing on Charlie's shoulder, and even Mad-Eye had given up trying to stay awake. Sirius could hear him snoring, though both his eyes were wide open. Dumbledore looked to be the only one who'd gotten a decent night's sleep. When Sturgis' head slipped off his fist and hit the table, the Headmaster could no longer ignore his exhausted group.

"I realize this may not be the most stimulating meeting we have ever had, but I don't think I've ever lost an audience so quickly," Dumbledore said. The more awake Order members managed to smile apologetically at him. "Perhaps we could break for tea and return to our meeting once we have more energy."

Sirius was among those who couldn't force themselves up to help with tea. He looked over to Remus and wondered how his best friend had managed to stay awake all day at work, then come home and help care for his twin boys. Sirius had ended up taking a nap in his office while trying to read a report about the escaped Death Eaters. Movement out of the corner of his eye made him jump a little. He turned to find Dumbledore had sat beside him.

"Evening, sir," Sirius said, trying to cover a yawn.

"Good evening, Sirius," the Headmaster replied, a twinkle in his eyes. "Did you not sleep well last night, my boy?"

"Something like that," Sirius replied.

"Actually, sir, we both had nightmares that kept us up all night," Remus said.

Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "I see. And did these nightmares include visions of death?"

The younger wizards raised an eyebrow at him. "You too, Albus?" Sirius asked.

"No," Dumbledore said. "However, Minerva had a rather horrible dream, as did a few other professors. And I am certain that if we ask the Order members here tonight, many of them will say the same."

"So basically, what you're saying is that you think those involved with the Order had nightmares?" Sirius asked dubiously.

The Headmaster shook his head. "No, I am saying I believe most of the wizarding world had nightmares."

"How is that possible, though?" Remus asked. "We'd all have to have some sort of connection..."

"Not necessarily, Remus. Many theories exist that suggest spells and curses that could be cast over the masses which cause nightmares," Dumbledore explained. "It is old magic, but it does exist."

"Voldemort," Sirius said flatly. "It's not enough that he's trying to kill us the normal way, now he wants to kill us by lack of sleep too."

"The only problem is that no one will admit they had nightmares," Remus said. "They'll think someone will think they're crazy, even if the rest of the world knows differently."

"Denial," Dumbledore said. "One thing every man has that can cause more harm than good."