Gale's been gone all day since we decided to take turns going to the woods. I'm a little bothered by it because I have yet to tell him my revelation from last night but I'm also relieved at the same time. It's almost silly that I'm so terrified when I know everything will turn out fine, but I can't help myself. It's like a leftover reaction from denying it and lying to myself all this time.

And so while he's been gone I've been busy all day as to not think about it. Taking care of Caitlyn, cleaning off the rest of the animals I brought back yesterday and putting all but one rabbit in the freezer so I can make a stew with it for dinner, going outside briefly wondering how good of a day it will be for Gale's hunting. It's been a pretty typical day since Caitlyn was born aside from one thing.

I know I realized last night that I had already forgiven Gale and I'm not an idiot-I do know what that probably means. And so since there is no way I'm getting pregnant again anytime soon (or ever), I worked up my stupid stubborn courage to open the drawer I know Dr. Marcellus left some of those shot things in with the three month birth control. I found four in there and took one out, carefully closing the drawer while I stared at the thing.

It's not the fact that it's birth control nor the fact that even though I desperately want it I'm a little scared. It's the fact that I'm planning on using this, a Capitol design that in the past has been primarily used for the…torture I suppose of people I know, some of which are even friends for…selfish reasons. Honestly the thought makes me sick for even thinking I'd use the thing to my own advantage, and after observing the seemingly innocent clear liquid I set it down on my desk in my room. I'm not putting it away yet, but I'm certainly not using it.

Gale comes back around dinnertime and sets his gamebag on the table which from the lumps I think there's only two animals in there. He must not have set his snares yet because that's nothing for this time of year. Maybe that's what he did today. But I don't ask and he doesn't say anything, so we eat the stew I made in silence as I'm still inwardly contemplating what I want to do. I'm actually surprised he hasn't caught onto me yet since he seems to read my mind most of the time, but he seems distracted tonight too so neither of us are really reading the other right apparently. If only for tonight, I'm glad because I'm starting to think that what I want is a bad idea.

So after dinner he goes up to see his daughter while I go to my room, pacing back and forth. Should I do something? Shouldn't I not do anything? There is that little shot on the desk that will resolve a lot of my concerns…but that would be wrong. Not because of what it does but because of what it's done in the past. What would Johanna say? What would Finnick say if he was alive? Would Snow have made me use it if Peeta wasn't there?

Round and round I go, but eventually I resolve to just go and tell Gale I forgive him if nothing else. We can still…not do stuff after that, right? I just think he needs to know so at least I can get that off my chest. I still miss Prim every second of the day and I still don't like what he did during the war, but I can forgive him for all of it somehow. I know I already have, I'm just terrified that he's going to know why.

But I'm at the door which is cracked open, so I peek in first. Gale is once again sitting on the rocking chair with Caitlyn in his arms, but they aren't sleeping like last night. Both are up and Gale is gently caressing her as he talks to her even though he knows she can't understand.

"…silly to think your mommy was just going to let it go." He says when I start listening. "I just…thought maybe when you came she would realize…"

He sighs and I wonder what he's thinking about even though I already know. It's about me forgiving him. "I know you don't realize it now and I never want you to know, but you weren't planned. Mommy was so mad when she found out that she didn't tell me. And while I was mad at her and the situation, I understood why."

Caitlyn makes a little sound and Gale snorts a little as if she's actually listening and understanding, encouraging him to keep talking. Please keep talking, I know it's bad that I'm listening but it's almost fascinating that he can talk to her and not me about this.

"Daddy messed up big time." He admits to her though she doesn't seem to mind or care. "I don't think your mommy will ever forgive me for that and it sucks. But I deserve to not be forgiven. I know you'll find out what I've done or might have done one day and you might hate me too. And it will kill me but I'll never leave again. I think that's the thing your mommy almost didn't forgive me for the most."

I don't know if that's really true, but he has a point. Prim was the big one even though I can admit now that he still doesn't-and may never-know if it was his design or not. I trust him enough to believe that he at least didn't know about it. Or even if he did, there's no way he could have known or wanted Prim to be there. Would I have forgiven him for the bomb if Prim hadn't been there? I think I might have if only because I'm selfish. But leaving me…it was wrong even if I pushed him away. And he's stubborn enough to never leave again, I'm just coming to realize that again as if we're meeting for the first time again. Somehow I don't mind.

"Sorry for keeping you up, you're just the only one who will kind of listen right now." He chuckles under his breath as she yawns, but there's a sadness to his tone that leaves an ache in my stomach for knowing I put it there. I listen to him, don't I? Okay, maybe I don't anymore. "I love you and your Mommy so much, Caitlyn that I can't stand it. I just want to make everything right."

At this point I know that I should come in and do something about this, but I can feel tears welling in my eyes and I realize that Gale is going to come out of that room and find me out at any second so I run to my room and get under the covers, desperately trying to control my breathing.

But I can't stop thinking about everything. Gale's talk with our daughter, how he just want's forgiveness I've already given him but he doesn't know it, all those times that we were with each other in the most intimate way. It grows and escalates as the moon goes across my window until my beast just can't stand it anymore. What the hell am I doing?

Almost without thinking I go over to my desk and turn on the lamp, only glancing once at the damn thing before wincing as I push it in, feeling my guilt escalating but it's too late to care now. I look at myself in the mirror and find my eyes heavy with lust, my expression turning from one of confusion and sleepiness to an aching need that I'm desperate to sate. The beast is back and it's getting what it wants-right now.

I don't even know how I find myself at Gale's door but I do, and somehow in this state don't hesitate to open the door and walk in. Gale, always a light sleeper, instantly wakes up and when he sees my figure in the dark room relaxes but only slightly.

"What is it? What's wrong with her?" he half panics, and I'm confused at first. Of course he'd think that would be the only reason I'm in here.

"Nothing. She's fine." I insist even though I don't actually know. I probably should have checked on her before I came in here but my mind is nowhere near my baby for once.

"Then why are you here?" he questions me, utterly dumbfounded.

"I…I…" I stutter, suddenly embarrassed and feeling stupid for not having some sort of plan. What the heck did I think I could do, just run right in here and into his bed with no explanations?

Yeah, but that was before. Stupid me.

He gets up from his bed slowly and walks over to me in the dark with careful steps as if not to scare me, stopping right in front of me.

"Katniss?"

It's a question, but it's filled with a longing and understanding at the same time and suddenly I can't take it anymore. I launch myself at him and I can't be more pleased when he doesn't even hesitate, his eager hungry lips meeting mine.

Once we've started it's pretty easy to remember what happens next, but my mind can only focus on very few things right now. My beast being sated, how right this feels, and Gale. Gale. Gale.

He's everywhere, my nightgown coming off in a quick motion over my head as I push his shirt up and out of the way in a fumbling motion, not actually caring at this point if it's ripped or stretched out. I just want to feel his smooth taut stomach built even more by the war and his rippling arms that pick me up with ease, my legs going around his waist like a suction as we're on the same level of height now, making it easier to grip his hair and mouth as our kisses turn sloppy and desperate, wanting to move on.

Somehow we fall on the bed with Gale on top of me and I gasp at his weight, but it swiftly turns into a moan as his lips descend onto my neck where every kiss and little bite or lick emotes a tingling sensation from my skin and I feel for once that I really am the Girl on Fire. And it's not the costumes or the Capitol or any dirty trick they may pull on me that makes me that way. I may have the spark but it's Gale, my partner, my everything that ignites it and makes me burn in the brightest fashion. We're a beacon of lust and craze right now and for just a moment I don't care if the whole world knows it.

His mouth sucks on my breasts briefly but we're in too much of a hurry to give them the love he usually does, so as he descends even further they're left wet and cooling in the night air, contrasting with the rest of my body that's on fire to make me shiver and moan. My underwear comes off in a swift move and somewhere in this his pants have come off, because as he pushes in we're both moaning and groaning at how tight and perfect we are together.

He stops once he's fully in for just a moment, allowing us to savor the moment before the inferno takes over again. But I can't stand it for long and move my hips in a little circle that drives him crazy, his lips controlling mine as we move together as one, ascending onto what we both desperately need. I'm so close I can feel it, I'm tightening around him as his breath quickens and suddenly everything that I've been keeping in explodes into fireworks, my vision going white as a ringing in my ears sounds like cheering, the waves ripping through my body in successful motions that make me feel as if I'm completely electrified.

When I come back to he's still in me but we've stopped moving, just catching our breath after an intense orgasm for both of us I'd guess. When he does roll off me and out of me I miss the fullness, but I can't comment as I'm still catching my breath.

Eventually I roll to my side and look at him, my hand finding it's way to his chest where his heart is still beating faster than normal and I find myself smiling at it. His heart is beating faster because of me. Because he loves me.

And for the first time, I'm not terrified by the thought that he loves me. Actually, I'd be a dirty liar if I said I didn't…like it.

His chuckle under his breath breaks the silence and he turns to me, his eyes meeting mine in the dark. "So I guess this means you've…forgiven me?"

Well duh, I think that's obvious. "Nope." I grin, though I know where this is going. He gives my lips a light kiss before grinning back.

"Hey we said no lying, remember?" he points out and I nod.

"You're right." I concede, and he starts going back on his back on the bed so I sit up a little and look down at him. "I love you."

He seems a bit surprised by this, but a warmth spreads through him so I know he's realized that I'm not lying at all. Suddenly a wicked grin crosses his face. "I know."

My mouth goes wide open but I realize at once how bad that sounded when I said it to him even though I know he's teasing me now. "Well what are you going to do about it?" I ask, but I already know. His lips find mine again as we begin again, a perfect routine that I can have all I want.

I'm done with lying. I may be a dirty liar…actually a very dirty liar, but not to Gale anymore. I can't lie to someone who knows me better than myself, especially since I've forgiven him mostly because I love him. It just wouldn't be fair or work.

Everyone else is fair game, though.

First of all, this is the end of this story. I want to thank you all for your encouragement and lots of reviews, favorites, and follows on something that started out as just a way for me to practice lemons. I can't say enough how surprised I am at how well it turned out. Which is why…

Sequel! It will be up soon, I promise. It will be all about the smut and love this time though, even though I doubt anyone minds ;) I'll let you all know by updating this when the sequel Dirty Lovers is up.