UPDATE! Also, in case any of you were unaware, I started a new story (I know) called The Bodyguard, which is about ex-soldier Castle being starlet Kate's bodyguard and it's also Rated M so check that out, please, and let me know what you think. And I also want to officially announce that I will be starting ANOTHER new story (I KNOW) about Beckett being married to Josh but having an affair with Castle (IT'S VERY AU I KNOW; BEX is NOT a cheater and I don't want to make her seem like one, but somebody sent me the prompt and I want to see what I can do with it). So be sure to look out for that one, as well; it will also be M.

Anyways, on with the present story.

Chapter Thirty Five

Before Lanie could so much as greet her friend, Kate was practically dragging her upstairs to her room and slamming the door behind them, leaning back against it.

Lanie was flustered to stay the least and regarded her friend with a raised eyebrow. "Girl," she said, "what in the hell has gotten into you?"

Kate just shook her head, fighting the lump in her throat and the tears that threatened to spill from eyes. She looked down; trying to hide her hurt from her friend, but Lanie was having none of it. The shorter woman approached, slowly, and lifted Kate's chin, bringing her green eyes to meet Lanie's sympathetic gaze.

"What happened?" Lanie urged, softly. Kate's face broke, sobs wracking her body. Lanie immediately wrapped her arms around her friend, ferrying her to the bed and holding her as she cried on her shoulder, rubbing her hands up and down her quivering back and whispering soothing words into her hair.

When the sobs had finally subsided, Lanie pulled away, lifting Kate's chin again. "Now," she said, "tell me what happened and don't leave anything out."

Kate nodded and started to tell her about her sudden realization about love and about all that it could possibly mean for her and Castle and how it could destroy them and their little family and how much it scared the crap out of her to think that she could do that, somehow. She told Lanie about the fear that she may already be ruining everything, that she was falling in love with him, despite how improbable it was in their present time. She told Lanie that everything was going to go to shit and it was all her fault for being unable to control her emotions.

So, like any good friend would, Lanie slapped her in the back of the head.

"Ouch!" Kate yelped, rubbing her head and glaring at her friend. "What the fuck was that for?"

"You know very well what that was for, Kate Beckett," Lanie replied, crossing her arms.

"No, Lanie," Kate replied, inching away, "I don't think I do. Could you please explain it to me…without hitting me?"

"You're being stupid," Lanie said, simply. "No, that's wrong. You're being stupid and ignorant and just plain…ugh! I don't even know, but you're just pissing me off!"

"What?" Kate said, furrowing her brow. "Why?"

"Because of your whole obsession with this love thing!" Lanie groaned. "There is a reason we say that love does not exist, Kate."

"And what would that be?" Kate asked.

"Because we're afraid!" Lanie exclaimed, as if it were obvious. "We are afraid of our feelings. We are so afraid that love will ultimately die out and leave us with only pain that we ignore its existence completely and that doesn't help at ALL! Because when we are mated the way we are nowadays, we may find ourselves falling in love and just like what happened to you, we will become so terrified of these unfamiliar emotions that we'll start self-destructing. That is what you're really afraid of; messing everything up on purpose. And, babe, I have a feeling you're already doing that, aren't you?"

Tears were once again streaming down Kate's cheeks and her head was hung in shame. She nodded.

Lanie sighed and reached for her hand. "Sweetie," she said, "you can't sabotage your relationship just because you're scared of everything going to shit. That's kind of counter-productive, isn't it? It's like throwing out the cake before it comes out of the oven so it doesn't end up rotting. It's stupid and pointless."

"So what do I do?" Kate asked, softly, her voice breaking.

"Honestly?" Lanie asked; Kate nodded. "Be honest with the man. Tell him how you feel and what you're afraid of. Share everything with him because, soon, you'll be sharing your lives with one another as a married couple. You'll have babies—you already have one! You two gotta communicate or you're going to self-implode before you even really start to get to know each other, okay?"

Kate nodded, taking a deep breath and smiling up at her friend. "Thanks, Lane," she said, softly.

Lanie grinned back. "Well what are friends for?" Kate laughed and stood up, wrapping her arms around the shorter woman and hugging tightly.

"You're the best friend ever," she mumbled into her air.

"And don't you forget it," Lanie retorted, teasingly. "Now, let's go get your man."

Kate pulled back, grinning, and grabbed Lanie's hand dragging her back out of the room and down the stairs.

Castle was helping his mother and father chop and prepare food when Kate and Lanie descended the steps. Alexis was in the living room, playing with all her new toys with Javi sitting right next to her, letting himself get bossed around by the three-year-old as she served him tea and babbled incessantly about nothing. Lanie smiled at them, taking a million photos before he noticed and started using the toddler as a shield. Lanie laughed and walked towards them, leaving Kate to stare at Castle in silence, before finally making up her mind.

Taking a deep breath, Kate strutted towards her fiancé, sneaking up behind him and reaching out to carefully place her hand over his knife, which he almost immediately put down, before turning to her, with confusion in his eyes.

Kate smile up at him, reaching one hand to cup his cheek and it was at that second that she knew; she was in love with Richard Castle.

And she was terrified. And she wanted to turn and make a Kate-shaped hole in the wall as she ran as far as she could until she was no longer afraid. But instead she stayed, and she cupped his cheek, and she reached her other hand around to cup the back of his neck, bringing his lips down to meet hers in one of the most passionately-fueled kisses she'd ever had. Castle, of course, was taken completely by surprise because of their awkward morning and his hands flew out comically, waving around as if they had no idea where to land, before finally, as he melted into the kiss, landing on her hips and back, pulling her body against his.

After that, Kate lost herself in his arms, his lips softly stroking hers and hers stroking back, their arms holding tightly to each other as if they never wanted to let each other go. Kate swore she could feel the love he had for her in this one embrace—like one of those ancient love novels that stopped making sense to the general population centuries ago, but never dropped in popularity. Castle's kiss was somehow different; more emotional…

And, again, it terrified her, but it also excited her. And she hoped that feeling never went away.

When they pulled back, both were panting for lack of breath and soft smiles were etched on both faces as deep blue eyes met sparkling green.

"Whoa," Castle breathed, grinning down at her. "Wh-what was that for?"

Kate grinned, blushing slightly, before pointing up. Castle's head snapped in the direction of her finger and he laughed.

"Mistletoe!" he boomed. "How did that get there?"

Kate gave him a teasing look. "I wonder…" she said, pointedly, before leaning in to kiss him again, whispering, "sorry" against his lips. When they pulled away for a second time, he was giving her a concerned look and opened his mouth to say something, but her slight head shake gave him pause. "Later," she mouthed and he nodded, kissing her chastely once more before backing away.

"Go play tea party with Alexis and Princess Javier," he told her, "before you cause a fire."

Kate laughed and made her way into the living room, flashing him a smile over her shoulder.

She sat next to Lanie on the couch, who was already in a tiara, drinking tea.

"You're a princess, too?" Kate laughed. Lanie turned her nose up, snootily.

"You know it!" she said, taking a sip, before sparing a sidelong glance at her friend. "You two get everything figured out?"

"Not quite," Kate said, "but we're getting there."

"I saw that much," Lanie retorted. "Girl, that kiss! Whoo! Fan-girl," she said, snapping her finger and Alexis showed up in front of her, fanning her with a folded piece of paper.

"LANIE!" Kate admonished, laughing and elbowing the shorter girl in the side.

"What?" Lanie asked. "She volunteered!"

REVIEWS please!