Chapter Thirty-Six: Settling In
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AANG!"
I rubbed my eyes at the number of people assembled in my room – Grandpa, all four of my roommates, and both animals laying on my chest.
Oh yeah, it was my sixteenth birthday.
Appa licked my face and Grandpa beamed at me. "Happy birthday, dearest grandson."
"Happy birthday, Twinkletoes!" Toph said, jumping on the bed and making me sit up.
"Little Aangie is all grown up…" Sokka said, stroking an imaginary beard as he patted my bald head.
"Congrats on still being alive," Zuko said, sounding mildly surprised.
Finally Katara leaned over and kissed me on the mouth, right in front of everybody. "Happy birthday, sweetie."
I finally allowed myself to smile. "Aww, thanks guys."
"Breakfast in bed!" Grandpa proclaimed, as they all parted to allow him to bring in a tray of eggs, toast and orange juice. My mouth watered.
"It really is pretty remarkable that I'm still alive," I said as the tray was set in front of me.
"We've certainly had too many close calls for high schoolers," Katara said. "It's almost like someone wants us dead…"
We all turned to glare at Zuko.
"Not anymore!" He said, throwing his hands up.
I took my first bite of eggs and relished the taste of not having to make my breakfast. "Well, either way, I'm certainly glad I made it to sixteen with you guys."
Everyone smiled and laughed and wished me happy birthday, but I noticed Momo just staring at my toast.
"Not gonna wish me happy birthday?" I asked him.
Momo continued to stare at my toast.
"Asshole," I said, breaking off a piece and holding it out to him.
He ran up, licked my face, and then took the toast and ran off through the house.
"I'm not really sure what I expected," I said.
After school, Grandpa took me out to the DMV to finally test for my driver's license. I nailed the parallel parking and was surprisingly sucky on the freeway, but apparently it was enough to pass, and I took my picture with a huge smile (though we had a bit of trouble on the hair color – I think my hair's black, but I haven't exactly seen it in forever).
When we got home, everyone was gone except for Katara. As the only one in the house who could actually bake anything, it was hardly a surprise that she was making my favorite egg custard for dessert tonight. I walked in the kitchen, sun streaming through the window, and watched her for a moment. She wore a white apron over a pair of my basketball shorts and a t-shirt, her long hair bound in a messy ponytail. Her long lashes framed her blue eyes, concentrating on the bowl of custard mix in front of her.
"Hey, sweetie."
She turned around and smiled. "Hey! How'd it go?"
"I passed!" I said, whipping out my new license. "Look at this shit!"
"Aaaah, I knew you would! Good job, baby!" She threw her arms up and I snuck under for a kiss.
"This means you won't have to drive me around everywhere anymore," I grinned at her.
She blinked. "Yeah…I guess I won't…" She sighed and rested her forehead against mine.
"What's up?"
"I don't know, it's nothing, I'm just nostalgic I guess…you're all grown up, you don't need me to drive you around everywhere…I guess change is normal, though."
"You don't like change," I said.
"It's not that I don't like it, I certainly don't hate it as much as Sokka. I guess I'm just kinda scared of the future, you know?"
I held her hand. "Baby, I'm always gonna need you. Promise."
She smiled. "Oh, sweetie, thank you. I'm gonna need you too." One hand trailed down my chest.
Blood slammed in my ears.
"Katara…?"
"Let me put this in the oven," she whispered, "and I can give you a real birthday present."
Best. Birthday. Ever.
I swear, I was in the room and naked in sixty seconds flat. A few minutes later, Katara came in and locked the door softly. She turned to me with a smile.
"When did you decide to do this?" I asked.
"The second you walked through the door," she responded, shimming the basketball shorts off, with the apron still on. Next, her neon pink panties hit the floor. It took a bit of maneuvering, but she took off her shirt and bra with that white apron still covering her. I thought my cock was going to explode. She shook out her wild hair and walked slowly up to the bed.
"Why are you still wearing that?"
"You gotta kiss the cook," she said with a smile.
I scrambled up and kissed her right on the lips. It felt like I was still new at this, like I was still nerdy orphaned Aang Nomad and not this love machine that Katara thought I was, but she dug her nails into my back and kissed me like we were about to die, so apparently I was doing something right.
With the afternoon sun streaming in and giving the room a golden glow, we kissed and touched and rubbed. I don't know where Katara learned to do what she did, but it took all the power in my adolescent body to not ejaculate like a rocket when she started licking my cock. I had never fully understood the phrase 'hurts so good' until that moment – my balls so full and tight it was like I was holding in two armed atom bombs, but nothing in the world would have made me stop her.
I finally had to go down on her just to hold myself off, and I don't think it was that successful, because Katara made these funny little moaning noises that just made me get even hotter. The way her body writhed under me was like something out of a wet dream.
Finally, before I really knew what happened, she pulled me up by the shoulders with a crazed look in her eyes, and in one motion pushed me inside of her.
"KATARA!"
"Oh, I'm sure you'll forgive me," she said with a smile. "Come on, let's finish off that orgasm you've been holding in for so long."
And then she tightened her vaginal muscles.
Cinco de Mayo!
"Oh, jeez, I didn't mean now…"
Couldn't respond. Too happy. Oh, wow, that felt so good…
"Aang, seriously, that was like, half a second…"
I started laughing, and she rolled her eyes beneath me.
"Premature ejaculation is no laughing matter."
"Neither is whatever you did! Did your vagina decide she really liked me and wanted to give me a hug?"
She finally laughed. "No, I did that. They're called Kegels? Did you like it?"
"I don't know, what do you think?"
I collapsed on top of her and we laughed and laughed. "So glad we didn't wait to put on the condom."
"Good call." I slid out and then hustled to the bathroom to take care of the ish. Then I snuck back in and fell into the bed next to her.
"Sorry 'bout that," I said.
She shrugged. "It was cool. The eating out was pretty awesome."
"Your vagina tastes weird."
"Thanks, sweetie. Totally what a girl wants to hear."
"I mean, it does, it doesn't mean I love you any less!"
"Well, you know what? Your dick tastes weird. Like Taco Bell and failed dreams."
"Wow. Wow. My dick tastes like Taco Bell?"
"Don't forget the failed dreams."
"What failed dreams? I won Prom King, bitch."
"And I won Prom Queen. Get on my level."
"This level?" I said, reaching out to tickle her between the armpits. She screamed and thrashed and gave a screeching laugh.
"Not this level! Not this fucking level!"
"Feel the wrath of the Prom King, byatch! Just try to make fun of my premature ejaculation again!"
"Aang, what – OH GOD!"
"GET OUT, GET OUT!" Katara screamed, as soon as we sighted Sokka, Toph and Zuko at the door.
"Did I hear you say premature ejaculation?" Zuko said.
"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Katara screeched, as I held a pillow in front of my privates and ran over to slam and lock the door.
"Oh, my God, what was it, what were they doing? Was it dirty?" Toph said.
"I don't know, they were naked tickling – "
"Aang, why do you keep doing this?" Sokka moaned.
"Where were you guys?"
"Getting your presents, but now I don't think I'm gonna give them to you!"
"Oh, shut up," Toph said. "Aang, is it true you came early?"
"Shut up, Toph."
"He did! Ha! Twinkletoes can't hold it in!"
"SHUT UP, TOPH."
"And I jizzed –in my pants!" Zuko sang.
"Why can't you give us any privacy?" Katara cried.
"You two are sitting here doing it and screaming, we could practically hear you outside the house! You never hear it when Toph and I do it!"
"You guys are still doing it?" I asked.
"Almost every night when you're out watching TV," Toph responded.
"GROSS!" Katara, Zuko and I screamed.
"You can feel the heat of our lovemaking from miles away!"
"Toph, seriously, I am going to assault you."
"Not as much as Katara is going to assault you for coming earlyyyy…"
"Come on babe, let's go watch TV and hide his presents so he has to look everywhere in the house that we've done it."
"Ugh," Zuko said.
"And the title of grossest couple in the house goes to Toph and Sokka," Katara said.
"WOOT!" Toph yelled.
"Hell yeah!" Sokka said. We heard them chest-bump.
"Victory fuck in the kitchen!"
"NO! Guys – goddamn it!" Zuko chased after them as all their voices faded away. I finally fell back on the bed and saw Katara still giggling.
"Happy birthday, babe," she said, reaching over to kiss me on the nose.
"Okay, a little to the left – "
"Sokka, there is no more left."
"Well, move it up, we're almost there!"
"The door's too small, it's not gonna happen – "
"Aang, take off the cushions, then we can fit it in."
I darted up and took the cushions off the couch that Sokka, Zuko and Katara were hauling into the girls' new apartment. Toph and I had been standing by grumpily for most of the moving process. Neither of us were allowed to help with the couch, because Toph was blind and I was rudely informed that Katara was stronger than I was, so most of the time we'd been carrying up small boxes and loudly bitching about how much they sucked at moving. But the couch was the last thing that needed to be moved, so all of us stood around and watched as they tipped it to the side to fit through the tiny door.
"A little higher, Zuko – "
"You're the one that's not lifting it high enough!"
"Both of you, higher! Goddamn!"
With one last heave, they stumbled into the living room, as Sokka was almost crushed when the couch hit the floor. The three of them collapsed onto the couch, chests heaving.
Ty Lee fluttered into the room, her hands pressed to her chest. "Oh, guys, thank you so much, I really appreciate it!"
"Have you unpacked the cups yet?" Sokka rasped. "Water would be nice."
"I think they're over here," Mai said, clambering over the boxes scattered throughout the tiny apartment to get to the small kitchen. Azula grabbed Toph's hand and pulled her into the room – she'd been having a lot of trouble with new terrain and stuff all over the floor to trip over, something that we were very conscious not to do at home. But she wasn't as grumpy as usual. She smiled at Azula and pulled out her cane to make her way to the couch.
Mai came out with mismatched glasses of tap water. "Once we organize stuff, we'll use the real dish set."
"Dude," Azula said, "we don't have a real dish set."
"We don't?" Mai said, dropping onto a box. Her sweaty black hair was falling out of her clip.
"Nah, dude, Ty Lee and I couldn't find anything at Goodwill."
"Ah." Mai shook her hair out and then wrapped it back up, anchoring the clip in her hair. "Well, next paycheck we'll go get some shit at Target."
Ty Lee beamed. "Then we can get a real microwave too!"
I met Katara's eye and saw her smiling like crazy. I could see why. "Look at you guys, all cooperating and on top of your shit," I said.
Azula chuckled. "Living in a terrible apartment with very little furniture and no microwave is considered 'on top of our shit'?"
"Well, you're not actively trying to kill anyone right now."
"It does take a lot of effort to try and kill people. It's hard to be evil."
"I don't know," Zuko said, "I'm pretty bad at being good."
"Watch out, we got a badass over here," Toph said, throwing her hands up.
"This is why I'm bad at being good," Zuko said. "Worst good guys ever."
"We just moved an entire furniture set!" Sokka interjected. "I don't see how that doesn't at least knight us. Literally nobody wants to move."
"And we are very grateful," Azula said, giving Sokka a huge hug. "But we can take it from here, it's just getting shit organized."
"Alright kids," Katara said, standing up and stretching out in her denim shorts, "we gotta go home and keep studying."
"It's a Saturday," I said. "Studying is a four-letter word on Saturdays."
"Not if you want to pass," she replied. "And Sokka, we gotta send out graduation notices."
"Ah, fuck, I still haven't done that," Azula said. "Need to make them graduation ducketts."
"Is anybody in your family going to come?" Mai asked.
"Not from here, but maybe from the District," she said. "They don't know I'm a disgrace to the family yet. But don't worry, it's a long summer. I'm sure I can bring some more shame to the Kai name."
"Yes, excellent," Zuko said. "Let's make all of our ancestors cringe."
Katara started pushing him and the others out of the door. "Well, failing is not the way to make your ancestors cringe. We'll see you soon, guys."
"Yeah, thanks so much!" Ty Lee called. Katara waved her hand and the whole group said bye as they left the apartment.
The three of them were left in the silent, messy apartment. Azula sighed and placed her hands on her hips as she looked around. There was collectively very little furniture – whatever they had culled from Sakura's apartment and Goodwill stores around the city. The stove only had one working burner, which was prone to spitting out sky-high flames. They'd already seen several mice darting around. But there was a big gorgeous window, and a sweet little ledge beneath it where they could squish pillows and read. Their beat-up blue couch fit perfectly against the wall.
"It's gonna be perfect!" Ty Lee chirped.
"Yeah, hun," Mai said. "Gonna be just perfect."
So they put on the 'Ignition Remix' Pandora station and got to work straightening everything out. The afternoon sun moved through the sky as the three girls slipped into peaceful quiet, moving around couches and unpacking boxes with myopic concentration, occasionally singing out loud to 'Best I Ever Had' and 'Yeah'. They quickly realized that 'perfect' was going to be a far stretch. They had no dressers, so they put all their clothes in shoe-hangers from Target, and without a vacuum they just used a Dust-Buster to get up all the mouse shit and various crap. Mai felt herself getting frustrated, not just at the situation but at her stupid parents who never taught her how to run a household. Teaching her the different types of caviar and the difference between Tom Ford and Hugo Boss suits was all fine and dandy, but she had no idea how to plunge a toilet or screw in a lightbulb, skills which had suddenly become very necessary. She was a feminist to the death so she always figured she'd never need to use those skills and make her husband do it, but suddenly this life-long assumption was being challenged. Knowing how to run a household didn't make her any less of a woman, it just made her more of a person.
After four hours the house was in some semblance of care, so the three girls plopped down on the couch and popped the bottle of wine which, along with a bottle of ketchup and some cheese, was the only thing currently in their fridge. They passed it between them in contented silence, not worrying about glasses, and for the first time ever, Mai looked at cleaning that she had done herself, and she was kinda proud.
"We need a fucking vacuum," Azula said.
"And bleach," Ty Lee agreed, taking a pull of wine.
"Actual food," Mai said.
"Toilet paper," Azula said.
"A phone line."
"More wine," Mai and Azula said at the same time. They giggled. God, it felt so right. Nothing had felt right in so long.
"Hey, so I got that job at the tea shop," Azula said. "Got a cute little apron and everything. Uncle Iroh will be so proud."
"Yay!" Ty Lee cheered. "Will you be able to work there during the year?"
Azula frowned. "Hun, you know I'm going back to the District for school."
The elephant in the room was finally identified. It was Mai's turn with the wine, and she took a deep pull. Of course nothing was ever perfect.
"But you don't have to," Ty Lee said, her voice so innocent. "You can stay here with us. We have an apartment and everything!"
"Ty, I have school, I already accepted. I'm gonna go to Kai."
"What, you don't want to stay with us, after we put in all this work – "
"Ty," Mai said sharply. Azula's face had slipped into her old frown. "We talked about this. She has to go."
Ty Lee pulled her knees up and fiddled with the end of her long braid.
"Jesus, it's not like I want to go," Azula said. "But I have to. I need to go back home, figure my shit out."
"The District hasn't been home in a while," Ty Lee said bitterly. "You've lived here almost as long as we have."
"It's where Mom is buried," she replied. "Wherever she is, that's where home is."
Mai wordlessly handed the bottle of wine to Azula.
"But we'll go back and meet up with you there," Ty Lee continued, "or you'll come down here and we'll be together again."
"Oh my God, I don't know."
"Ugh, Jesus, come on, guys," Mai said. "We seriously talked about this."
"I just don't understand why everything has to suck again right after everything got better," Ty Lee said. "And don't lecture me about life sucking, Mai, cause I know it does sometimes, but I don't see why we have to take Zula leaving and not even be sad about it."
"I never said that! Of course we're sad, I'm just saying – "
"You want me to leave," Azula said, turning to look at her. "You want me to go."
"Azula," she said. The couch they were sitting on was so small. "Oh my God. I am so fucking sad you're leaving. I've just been preparing for this longer than her, so that I could go too – "
She'd said too much. Ty Lee leaned over to stare at her.
"You wanted to go to Kai?"
"No, no, it's nothing." She tried to backtrack.
"I didn't know you wanted to go there," Azula said.
"No, I didn't want to go there, but I wanted to go back to the District is all."
Now both girls stared at her. The mouse skittered across the floor. Mai grumpily stuck out her hand for the wine bottle and finished it off in one gulp.
"You wanted to go back to the District?" Azula asked.
"I mean, yeah, I wanted to go the Royal Art Academy."
"So why didn't you?"
"Not all of our parents still financially support us," she grumbled. "When my parents cut me off, they cut me off."
For a moment she sat there and stewed in her angst before Ty Lee reached over the couch to rub her shoulder. Azula's face had softened.
"I didn't know that," she said. "I thought you stayed here to take care of Ty Lee."
"I thought so too, but apparently I wasn't needed." She managed to crack a smile. "She's apparently more mature than either of us. Besides," she said, looking around the tiny apartment, "it's not like me being an artist is gonna end if I don't go to some stupid fancy art school. Being broke is good for creativity, I think. Not that it's ever happened before, so I'll let you know."
"I feel like all the best artists were broke," Azula said. "You can be absurdly angsty."
"I do love angst. I love angst."
"Oh, we know," Ty Lee said, all smiles, arguments forgotten. "But you're gonna hold off on your angst until Zula moves out, okay? How about we order pizza?"
"Pizza," Azula moaned. "Yes."
"Azula doesn't get to pick," Mai said. "I hate mushrooms and you always pick mushrooms. Ty and I get to pick."
"I don't get a say?" Azula said, as Ty Lee got up to find her phone in the mess. "That's not very democratic of us. Mushrooms are good for you."
"Good for what, tripping balls? I want black olives and feta cheese."
"Who the fuck puts olives and feta cheese on their pizza? That sounds like the worst pizza order ever."
"We could always order two, you know."
"We're broke, remember?"
"Ty Lee, we have a bit of money left, right?"
"Yeah, but it needs to go to – HOLY JESUS FUCK IT'S A COCKROACH!"
Ty Lee jumped up on the rickety table and it shook beneath her weight as she cowered with her phone held over her head.
"Damn it, Ty Lee, don't be ridiculous," Azula scoffed, getting up. "It's just a cockroach, please try to be more mature."
She lifted up the pile of clothes in front of Ty Lee and for a moment, nothing happened, and Azula lifted up her foot to squash it.
Then a huge dark thing with hideous looking feelers darted out and ran straight for Mai.
"AAAAHHH GODDAMN IT!" Mai screamed, leaping up on the couch. Azula had jumped up on the table with Ty Lee , and the shitty Ikea legs looked like they were going to buckle.
"NOBODY TOLD ME THEY WERE SO FUCKING BIG!" Azula screamed.
"I've never seen one before," Mai said, looking all around her. "That's what the maintenance crew was for, they had this Raid stuff to OH FUCKING FUCK IT'S MOVING!"
Ty Lee started screaming in fear as the Satanic bug began moving towards the other girls.
"TY LEE, STOP SCREAMING!"
"KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!"
"I will once you stop freaking the fuck out! Mai, get me a book!"
"I'm not moving! It'll eat me!"
"It won't eat you, Mai, goddamn it – "
"KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!"
"SHUT UP, TY LEE – "
It finally darted over to the pile of clothes, and Ty Lee lost her shit so hard that she jumped up and down on the table, and the Ikea table finally died and crashed down, sending the two girls to the floor – and in close proximity to the cockroach.
"HOLY FUCK!" Azula screamed, grabbing Ty Lee's hand and dragging her to the couch. Then the tree girls were standing on the couch with their broken table before them.
"We have to kill it," Mai said.
"Well, yes, duh, but – "
"I can't sleep with that thing in here!"
"Good fucking Lord, Ty Lee, woman the fuck up! Somebody go get me the broom!"
"Why do we have to get the broom?" Mai said.
"Cause I'm gonna be the one to kill it, so you bitches go get the broom!"
Mai made sure her shoes were firmly on her feet, and then she sprinted like she hadn't in years towards the broom, leaning against the wall in the kitchen, seized it and then jumped back on the couch like an Olympic hurdler. Azula grabbed the broom like a battle axe and took a deep breath, her cheeks flushed.
"Okay ladies, you two are gonna move the pile to shake it so that I can get it."
Mai shivered in fear, but since Ty Lee had decided to woman up, she needed to pull through. Azula held out her hand.
"Quick prayer."
The other two put their hands on the pile.
"Dear Chuck Norris," Azula said, "please bless us with the power of badassness. Transform us into boss bitches so that we may send this cockroach to the depths of Satan's vagina from whence it came. And if we perish in the attempt, please send us to wherever the guys from 300 went, so our souls may dine in hell."
"Amen," the two chorused.
"Alright, let's do this," Azula said.
They stepped down off the couch, Azula holding the broom aloft. Mai's heart was pounding like it hadn't since they raided Azulon's mansion. She and Ty Lee, walking softly, moved to either side of the pile of clothes. Azula took another deep breath and then nodded.
The girls began pounding and rustling the pile of clothes, and just a second too late, the cockroach darted out. Azula swung the broom down but missed terribly, and the cockroach headed off to the bathroom, with Azula in hot pursuit.
"JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY – YOU COCKSUCKING LITTLE CUNT - !"
The broom slammed down time after time with Azula pounding floors and walls. The cockroach, cornered, headed off towards Mai, but in a moment of pure brilliance, she moved over one of their huge tubs and blocked its way, and just when it turned to go back to the bathroom, Azula was standing above it with her battle broom.
"WELCOME TO HELL, BITCH!"
And with a small crunch, the apartment finally went quiet.
Mai and Ty Lee stood there panting, Azula with her broom on the floor, still gripping tight to the handle like she was afraid it would revive to haunt them. Finally, after a few moments, she slowly straightened up.
"I think we earned that second pizza tonight," she said.
Mai smiled.
HAIIIII GUISE! So, contrary to popular opinion, I'm not actually dead! Just very, very busy. Also, I finally started watching Firefly, and so it's a miracle I even managed to pound this chapter out (hello new favorite fangasm).
Anyway, I am truly truly truly sorry for making you wait (if people are still reading this). I guilt-tripped myself for not having written, if it's any consolation. I would love any and all feedback from you beautiful people! Also, this is the first time I've updated since the new Korra episodes are out! What do you guys thing? I'm loving them, slow as balls and kind of cliche and they made Lin into a trope, but I trust Bryke and I'm sure it's gonna come together. But let me know what you think :)) ONLY TWO MORE CHAPTERS LEFT! Next one is graduation, so expect a feels trip :( But it'll have a happy ending, of course!
Midnight introspection love - PVB