Wakefulness came in shifts. Early on, Todd was aware of a presence beside him but it was a presence his body was used to... maybe not recently but that presence had never made him feel anything but content. His body was not fearful of that presence so he didn't worry about it.

The silence was the next thing Todd was aware of. No babies, no kids, no bellowing twins, no footsteps, no Buchanans... and then the sounds of nature began to filter in. It was mainly the morning serenade of way too many birds. Llanfair, for all of its estate grounds, didn't have quite the cacophony that was going on here.

Shouldn't those things be migrating by now?

Wait... here?

Where was here?

It certainly wasn't Irene's paramilitary compound. For one thing, no one was ever sleeping with him there. For another, there wasn't the cold, clinical silence that filled the space with solitary despair and fear. It wasn't his penthouse, either. The penthouse didn't have this many birds and it had a lot more traffic. As for Dorian's tacky, French mausoleum... wherever he was didn't feel or smell like that miserable place either.

But that beautiful presence, soft and warm, a single, perfect blossom in the middle of a desert, a shimmering light in the darkness, didn't he only have that presence at the penthouse or at Dorian's?

Todd's eyes opened. The muted light from the window suggested an overcast morning. The room itself was dusky and quiet.

Blair's head rested on the pillow next to him. He studied her. It didn't look like she had moved at all. Her breathing was slow, deep and even. She was clearly still down for the count.

They were at the cabin. Their cabin. Their cabin that he'd never seen or known about until last night - last night when Blair had driven here in a daze. A daze that was the after effects of her confrontation with the Buchanans over her marriage to Asa. Then they had a confrontation that had left Blair completely drained.

Todd had been a bit flabbergasted by it all. All of those walls were gone. He knew it. There was nothing to it now but to get on with their lives.

But Blair was completely sacked out.

He could wait.

It felt like three hours later when she jerked awake. Todd thought his whole body was vibrating with impatience and desire. "Hey!" He beamed at her when she stared at him groggily. "Are you hungry? Thirsty? I'll go get us something."

He bounded out of bed to rummage around the kitchen. He was intent on spoiling the hell out of Blair. She had bared herself yesterday in ways he hadn't seen her do in years. She had been brave and honest and real and raw and he just wanted to show her that he saw it, and appreciated both it and her.

There wasn't much in the way of food other than canned stew. He went back to the bedroom to ask Blair what she wanted to do only to discover that she had fallen asleep again. "Blair!"

She jumped, her eyes barely peeling open, before grumbling and burrowing under the covers again.

"Okay," Todd shrugged. "I can do morning cuddle time if that's what you want." He climbed into bed and curled his arm under Blair, then wrapped the other around her, squeezing her against him as he kissed the top of her head. Blair, for her part, felt like dead weight to him. He couldn't remember her ever being this hard to wake up before. Should he take it personally? They hadn't even done anything that would render her unconscious the next morning except expel some pent up emotions... and not even in the physical way that he was really hoping for.

Of course, he had over a hundred pounds of woman flesh pressed against him right that moment. Not just woman flesh but Blair woman flesh. The woman he had been dreaming about for closing in on nine years now. How long was a man expected to wait? He nudged her with his hip and the only response he got was one of her legs thrown over his body so that her lower thigh rubbed right against a certain organ that was already expressing interest in Blair's soft, womanly curves and the faint floral scent of her skin.

For a moment, Todd wondered if he should attempt to curb the growing, hardening erection and then decided against it. He had been angling to be in bed with Blair with a hard on since the second he got out of that miserable prison and could formulate a coherent thought. Now the question was how long was he expected to lay there before something could be done about it?

It must have poked Blair enough to break through the fog somewhat. She squirmed, which really only intensified his desire, and then lazily moved her free hand down to perhaps get the offending organ out of the way.

"What is that?" She murmured sleepily.

"I think you know what it is," he told her.

"Huh?"

"It's morning, Blair," he shrugged against her. "I know it's been a long time but morning wood was practically default when I was sharing a bed with you."

She was really trying to be awake now. "Oh... " she pushed herself off of him. "Um... do you think maybe you could put that away?" Blair tried to ignore the sly, sleepy-sexy expression on his face. She tried to ignore the erection, too, but was failing miserably at both. Hell, her body seemed to be pointing itself directly at it.

"It doesn't work that way and you know it," Todd said. "What, you want me to go into the other room and take care of it?"

That would be awkward. "No."

"I can think of a better way, anyway," Todd shifted closer to her in one smooth movement, leaning forward and pressing his lips against her neck.

Blair was struggling. Her mind was still mostly in fog. She wasn't sure where or even when she was. Her limbs were heavy and she felt like she was moving and thinking in slow motion. She leaned against Todd's mouth instinctively. It felt so good. It would be so easy.

No.

Blair slipped off the bed, backwards and stumbled back against the wall leaving Todd hanging, kissing nothing but air.

She looked at him, wearing nothing but a pair of pajama bottoms. It was a beautiful view, defined chest and torso, broad shoulders, strong hands with those big, thick fingers... not to mention the tousled hair and the full day's worth of stubble. Her skin still tingled from where it was just rubbing against her neck.

Blair's mind was still moving slowly. She knew there was nothing coming between them but she was also so unaccustomed to things being right for them that she honestly didn't recognize the moment when it was staring her in the face. Was she just so used to holding back in regards to Todd that she did it out of habit?

"What?" Todd asked.

She shook her head to clear the cobwebs but, unfortunately, all Todd saw was her shaking her head. He couldn't believe it. She was on the edge, so close to letting go and finally letting herself be with him again and she was holding back even now!

He threw the covers off and stormed out of the room. If he stayed a second longer he was going to grab her a shake her until her teeth rattled. The only person in the world more stubborn than himself was the bull-headed woman that he was madly in love with. He went outside into the cold autumn morning in the hopes that he could gather his wits about him and attempt to have a fairly rational discussion with Blair about what the fuck was going on in her stupid, stubborn head!

Blair wasn't far behind as it turned out.

It had taken Blair a moment to realize that Todd had stormed out. The last thing she wanted was to piss him off before she could try to explain where her head was, even if she wasn't certain about that herself. Moving helped clear the cobwebs. And tripping down the back steps into the cold mountain air practically shocked her system to fully functioning again.

"Todd, please..."

"Please what?"

"I know what you want from me," she said. "I want that, too. I just... I feel..." she was at a loss for words. "Shouldn't I be better?"

"Better than what?" He stared at her, confused.

"Better than this," she gestured to herself. "Better than this mess that I am. Please, try to understand..."

"You feel raw," Todd growled, pacing across the cold ground. "You feel broken, you feel uncertain. Christ, Blair, if anyone understands you, it's me. I understand you. I know you, I just wish you'd give me some credit here and let me be the understanding guy who knows you." He ran both hand through his hair in frustration. "Remember our first time?"

"Of course, I do."

"We were both feeling pretty shitty about ourselves that night. Ourselves, our lives, all of it. We came together - as friends - to comfort each other. There's nothing wrong with that."

"You took off as soon as we were done," Blair reminded him.

"And then you tried to cut me out of your life completely," Todd shot back. "We never do things right, Blair. Not the first time anyway. Maybe not the second or third time, either. It doesn't matter. We have to be together. We have to."

She held her hands out, trying to calm him down because he was working himself up in a big way. All she wanted was to tell him she wasn't rejecting him. "Look, Todd, I can see that you're angry but-"

"You're damn right I'm angry! Why wouldn't I be angry? Here we are standing under the trees and the days are getting shorter and the nights are getting longer and I know it's your favorite time of year. I'm looking at you right now with the leaves changing around us and I love you so much it hurts... and I'm angry, Blair. I'm angry because what time we haven't wasted we've had stolen from us and none of it's fair. I get that you're dealing with things, I get that down to my bones but what you don't get is that you need me to deal with them.

"We are never so strong and so capable of facing the shit we've had in our lives than when we're together. You need me as much as I need you. These past eight years you've been screwed over by everyone... including a guy who pretended to be me but he wasn't me so stop holding me at arms length. Let me help! Let me be here by your side... I want you by mine. I've been back for months, Blair, but you've kept me on the threshold all this time and, god dammit, I want to come home. Let me come home!"

Her eyes were wet. Her hands were clasped tightly together in front of her mouth. Her body was stiff. But those eyes, those wet eyes filled with unshed tears that quivered and quaked and pleaded and needed... everything he wanted to see was in those eyes.

"I've unleashed my pain on you for so long... for too long. I don't care about those eight years, Blair. I don't care about them because they were nothing but pain and loneliness and I don't want that. I want to be happy. I want to be happy with you. We deserve it and, fuck everyone else, we have more than earned it." He reached out his hand. "Please babe... let's be happy and tell the rest of the world to go straight to hell."

A strangled sort of laugh came out of her at that. "Todd..."

He gestured at her with his outstretched hand. "Come on, Blair. Let me come home... I've been waiting so long. So have you. We can do this. We can..."

Her hand was suddenly in his, her slender fingers gripping his. He stared at their hands for a moment hardly daring to believe it. A delirious, breathless giggle came out of him and then he looked at her face, full of trepidation but, far more importantly, hopeful acceptance and he jerked her towards him so he could wrap her in his arms and hold her.

A shuddering sob escaped her and then she pulled back, clasping his face in her hands and bringing his mouth to hers in a wet kiss. He froze for a moment, waiting to see if she'd push him away again or pull back herself but she didn't. Her fingers slipped back across his cheeks to stroke his earlobes and he let go... he opened his mouth against hers... finally... knowing that this time she wasn't going to push him away.

After so long, he kissed her knowing that there was going to be far more to come.

She smiled against his lips. She got to unleash last night. Blair thought it was more than fair for Todd to have the opportunity to get his own crap out. She was happy right at that moment, in his arms, kissing him.

But happiness always came at such a high price for them. "Please..." she whispered. "Promise me you won't hurt me," she stroked his face with her fingers. "Promise me."

It was like someone had reached down at the very last minute and demanded he pass a test before entering heaven. More than anything, Todd wanted to promise that Blair would never know another day's pain because of him but he knew better. He knew better because he knew himself and he knew her and he knew them. And he had promised himself that if he ever had another chance, he wouldn't lie to her... even if it meant losing her. But her breath on his lips, her fingers on his face... if ever he would lie, this would be the moment.

"I-" he sighed heavily. "I can't do that, Blair. I won't."

She made to step back but he held her tight. "Todd-"

"I'm not going to make you promises I know I can't keep," he told her. "I won't do that to you. Can you promise me you'll never hurt me?"

Blair struggled against him briefly before recognizing the impossibility of never hurting or being hurt by him. Her shoulders sagged slightly. "No... I can't."

"I can promise you I love you," he told her urgently. "I can promise you that I love our children. I can promise you that I will take care of you. I can promise you that I will look after our family. Isn't that enough? That's really the question, isn't it? Can that be enough? Because I already know that you want to be together with me again."

He knew he had hit the right spot. He could see her wavering, so close to letting herself go completely. But just as clearly, he could see years and years of hurt and betrayal keeping her back.

Todd felt himself beginning to panic. He was certain that if he didn't get her now, he never would. He sank to his knees in front of her, clinging to her and pressing his face against her body. "Please, Blair, please. I don't know what else I can do... or say... please believe me, babe. I'm begging you. Please!"

There was silence.

Then he felt her fingers in his hair, soft and gentle, caressing before moving down to stroke his ears.

"Don't you," her voice was as soft and gentle as her touch, "ever, ever beg."

Todd looked up at her. She smiled beatifically at him.

"You're Todd. You're invincible."

He got to his feet, smiling as she echoed words he had once said to her. "I don't feel invincible."

Blair kissed him, slowly and sweetly. "You survived eight years in that hell hole Irene put you in. You got out on your own. Every time you were thought to be gone, you've always found a way back."

"To you," Todd told her. "I've always come back to you."

"And I've always been here," she nodded. "Come home. Todd. Come home."

He lunged towards the door of the cabin, grabbing her around the waist as he did so and guiding her backwards, fast, fast, fast until they reached the steps. They swept inside together, the warmth of the cabin sparked against their skin cooled in the autumn morning. Every few moments they pulled back, looking at one another, drinking in the moment, before coming together in another fevered embrace.

Todd pulled the top Blair wore over her head and went to work on her bra as they maneuvered back into the bedroom. The minute he got the bra unhooked, Blair flung it off her body and then flung herself at Todd, fastening her mouth to his and rubbing herself against him. Her nipples tightened against the coarseness of his chest hair and a small moan bubbled out of her. She moved her hands to his hips and pushed his pants down even as she felt his hands slide down her back to the swell of her bottom in order to divest her of her panties.

As soon as they were both naked, Todd backed her against the bed. She fell back willingly, bringing him with her. He pulled back again, looking down at her, his eyes alight with desire and wonder. Framing her face in his hands, he rubbed his thumb against her cheeks. He knew he was smiling, he couldn't help it. He was finally where he wanted to be - for the last eight years, this was what he had yearned for. Who was he kidding? He had wanted to be here longer than eight years. Even before the first time they had sex, Todd had entertained fantasies about Blair.

This was where he always wanted to be.

Todd's smiles were like sunrises. Blair didn't see them very often but they were all beautiful and all different. When they were directed at her, as this gentle, loving one was, she felt cherished and beautiful inside and out.

She smiled back, running her hands down his chest to his waist. As she did, he descended upon her again, his kisses passionate and hungry. Soft moans punctuated the kisses and he moved from her lips to her face, then trailed down her neck. Blair closed her eyes and just let herself feel him; the weight of his body, the touch of his hands, the heat of his breath, the movement of his legs and he slid one between hers, this thigh rubbing against her very center.

She raked her nails up his back, stroking his shoulders and sinking her fingers into his hair as he moved from her neck down to her breasts. One large hand covered one breast while his mouth descended on the other. There was something artful about the way he touched her, there always had been. She hadn't been lying when she had told him that sex between them was always more. For a man who could be so brutal the gentleness that came from him when he was with her always left her breathless.

He nuzzled her breast, rubbing his cheek against the soft flesh and flicking it with his tongue as he teased the other with the flat of his palm. Blair writhed against him in delight, arching her body to press against wherever he was touching her.

She slid her fingers behind his ears. Immediately, he stopped what he was doing and looked up at her. She stroked his earlobes with her thumbs and smiled when his whole body shuddered. She urged him back to where she could kiss his mouth again. She nipped at his lips with hers, then traced them with the tip of her tongue.

His body shuddered again, his breath coming faster and he met her tongue with the tips of his, teasing with the slightest contact before sliding it against her, fusing their mouths together in a hungry, demanding embrace.

His moan of pleasure rippled against her body and Blair slid her hands down his neck, across his shoulders and down his back to his hips. She curled hand hand along the curve of his ass and the other reached between them to stroke the hard cock she could feel throbbing against her body.

"Blair!" Todd's voice was strangled as his entire body stiffened.

"Shhh," she soothed, rubbing her feet against the back of his legs. "Todd, you've waited long enough. I'm yours... I'm yours..."

Could he love her more? Probably not... because if he was going to be honest with himself, he was not going to last too long and as much as he wanted to absolutely spoil her rotten with the foreplay of her life, he was about ready to explode out of sheer relief of being with her again.

"I love you," he told her, reaching between them to run his fingers over her lower lips. They were slick with desire and he smiled as she closed her eyes when he touched her there. Positioning himself, he slowly sank into her and almost lost it right then and there. He crushed her against him, burying his face against her neck as he tried to maintain some modicum of control. He would not let this be over the moment it actually started.

Blair sighed rapturously. There was a world of difference between 'familiar' and 'Todd.' And this was Todd, filling her in a way no other man ever had. She wrapped herself around him, playing with the tendrils of hair at the base of his neck, and sliding her legs against his thighs. He was clutching her close, still but quivering. "What are you waiting for, lover?"

A muffled groan came out of him. "Just... trying to hold it together." He lifted his head and looked at her. "And you're not helping."

She licked her lips, causing him to shudder.

"Really not helping."

"If you don't start moving," Blair bucked her hips against him. "I'm going to. Stop worrying about being the stud of the century and just be my long lost love back where he belongs! I don't care if it last five minutes."

"You say that now..." Todd pushed himself up and arranged himself so he could get the best leverage he could. The moment he started thrusting, a deep, ecstatic moan bubbled out of Blair. She writhed under him, teasing and caressing his body and he followed her lead, thrusting harder and faster.

The bedroom was already toasty warm and the heat they created together made a sheen of perspiration coat his body. He could see Blair's skin flush, a rosy tint spreading over her as she responded to his movements with deep, gasping moans.

Todd's stamina wasn't quite what it once was and he reached between them to help stimulate her before he completely lost it. A reunion after almost nine years and he leaves her wanting? No fucking way. He dug his knees into the mattress to anchor himself, driving into her with ferocity. Gentleness could come later, he needed her, he needed to just let all of the time they'd had taken from them come out of him in a powerful inferno of lust that would leave him completely empty and her completely sated.

When Blair grabbed his butt in both hands, digging her nails into his ass, he knew she was about to go right over the edge. And she did a moment later, letting out a scream of delight as she raked her nails from his ass to his shoulder blades. Her body tightened around him and he blissfully let go, jerking inside of her, feeling like everything that had been stored up for years was emptying into her until there wasn't anything left.

No more loneliness. No more pain. No more solitude.

They were together.

At last.

He lowered himself down to rest on her. "I've missed your claws, babe."

"I've missed that ass," she slapped it as punctuation.

"All right, all right," he pulled out and rolled onto his side next to her. He looked at her for a moment, her face glistening with perspiration, hair sticking to her forehead, mascara smudged under her eyes and knew she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He leaned forward and kissed her passionately until they were breathless, again.

She smiled at him, running the back of her hand along the curve of his chin. "We should go."

"Huh?" Todd blinked. Now was afterglow time, when they cuddled and made out and stored up energy for another round.

"We really need to get back to town."

"You're kidding, right?"

"We don't have any food here..." Blair said. "Not really. Just canned stuff for emergencies. And the kids are going to be home at some point and there's likely going to be another long discussion about yesterday. But mostly food because any second now your stomach is going to start howling like it's the full moon and I've really got nothing to feed you here."

He hated it when practicality got in the way of romance. And he was already hungry, lust just set it aside for the moment. "All right, fine." He swung his legs over the side of the bed and went to fetch his clothes.

Blair admired the handiwork of her claw marks that travelled up the length of his back, as well as the back itself. "Why do we wait so long to do this?"

"You're asking me?" He glanced at her as he pulled his boxers and pants on. "I would have had you at that movie premiere."

Blair smirked. "Before or after you pulled the gun and got yourself taken into custody?" She got off the bed and fetched her own clothes.

"Before, after, during," Todd shrugged. "And constantly since then."

Blair smiled indulgently and then looked at herself with yesterday's clothes on. "Oh, the walk of shame."

"I would never be ashamed of being with you, babe," he told her. "Walk of Awesome, I'm thinking."

"You are really charming when you want to be." Blair turned off the space heater and the mattress pad and then gathered her purse and keys. "Let's go."

"I want to come back here," Todd said as they got in the car.

"I'm sure we will," Blair replied lightly.

"No," he said seriously. "I want to come back here. Soon. Just you and me. We'll have a long weekend up here... maybe in November before Thanksgiving?"

Blair just looked at him.

"We deserve some alone time," Todd told her. "The kids can handle themselves for a long weekend. I want us to come back here and have a full on reunion going on."

"That sounds like a good idea," Blair actually liked the idea.

"And we can be naked the whole time."

Blair laughed.

"So, before we head home," he continued casually. "We should stop at Viki's so I can get my things."

"Uh..." Blair wasn't certain if that was the best of ideas.

Todd caught her hesitant expression. "I am not sleeping under the same roof as Clint Buchanan. Not after yesterday."

Blair flashed him a grateful look. "Okay... but we're going to have to put you in a different room until Jack's okay with it."

He groaned. "Sure, why not? I'll just sneak into your room every night."

"Todd..."

"I am not sleeping without you."

Blair didn't say anything. To be honest, she felt the same way, but Jack was still not certain about Todd and she didn't want to shock him into backsliding. One thing at a time as far as she was concerned. Besides, a little sneaking around was fun. It reminded her of the time they were getting back together before their second wedding.

"Sing to me," Todd's voice was gentle.

Blair shot a surprised glance at him as they drove down the mountain roads. "What?"

"Sing to me," he leaned his head on the back of the seat. "You have a pretty voice."

She felt herself flush at the compliment. She drove in silence for a few moments and then began to sing:

Hold onto the thread

The currents will shift

Guide me towards you

Know something's left

And we're all allowed to dream

Of the next...

Of the next time we touch...

As Blair's voice soared, Todd swiped at his eyes with the back of one hand and reached for hers with the other.

You don't have to stray

The oceans away

Waves roll in my thoughts

Hold tight the ring

The sea will rise...

Please stand by the shore...

I will be...

I will be...

There once more...

The car was silent for a long time after she stopped singing.

"I can't believe you remember that."

"You're not the only one who remembers things, Todd." She sighed heavily. "When we were first married, you'd play that song whenever you were in the mood. You can't possibly think I didn't notice that."

"I guess not," he wasn't sure why he found it a bit embarrassing that she knew that. He'd never exactly been subtle about that sort of thing. Maybe he just wanted to feel like he was smoother than that.

"I stood on a cliff in Ireland and sang that song, hoping you'd hear me and come back to me." Blair's voice trembled slightly. "And I used to listen to it all the time when I thought I'd lost you. When you came back... you never played it again."

"Can we maybe not revisit the times when I was a stupid asshole?"

Blair laughed. "I'm sorry. I just... wanted you to know that I never forgot that song."

"I'm glad," he said softly. "You can be my Eddie Vedder whenever you want, Blair."

She laughed again. "Let's not get carried away."

"Yeah, you weren't exactly a grunge girl back then."

"No, I was not," she smiled. "And once you got your money you weren't either." She drove quietly for a moment. "You know, we're going to have to pick out some things for your office at the new place now."

Todd felt his whole body relax. He knew he'd be with them all when they made to move to Blair's new place but it felt good to hear her say it. "So when do I get to see the new digs?"

"Soon," Blair smiled. "Let's get one move taken care of, hmm?"

Todd declined to tell Blair that his things were already packed at Llanfair save for a couple of suits and the essential bathroom things. He had never intended to stay and Viki's and was always ready to come home to her and the kids. He smiled to himself. Things were finally as they were supposed to be.

When they pulled up in front of Llanfair, Blair decided she wanted to stay in the car. Todd kissed her and said 'If I'm in there for longer than five minutes, you better come in because it's likely I'm choking Clint Buchanan."

"If you get back out here in five minutes," Blair smiled. "I promise I will make it worth your while at Dorian's."

That gave him pause. "What exactly are we talking here?"

"Clock's ticking..."

Todd sprinted into the house. If Blair was promising to make things worth his while, he intended to collect.