Are you shocked? Yes, I'm posting a chapter. I know it has been forever. I am hoping to post every other Tuesday as normal going forward. I think my RL has settled enough. Thanks to those of you still with me! If you need a recap, Bella had just told her story of what happened, I doubt you forgot the details of that. She's now back home and Edward stays with her at night, but not in her bed. She's in therapy with Jasper everyday to work through things. Paul's trail is looming in about a month and a half, he was the instigator of the gang rape Bella suffered through.

Chapter 36 – Balancing Relationships

"Edward Anthony Cullen!" I looked up, startled from my thoughts. Bella was at her house talking to Jasper right now. Her sessions had been going on for a week. So far, every time I'd gotten back to her house she'd been in a cheerful mood, but I knew it couldn't last. True to his word, Jasper was easing her into therapy. At some point, he was going to have to start pushing, and knowing Bella, she was going to push back. So every day I waited to return to my love, wondering if this would be the day I would see a haunted expression in her face.

Alice was standing over me with her hands on her hips. I looked past her and saw Rose and Emmett coming into my room behind her. All looked mad. A quick search of their thoughts made me groan.

I looked at Alice. "What can I do for you?" I don't know why I thought pleading ignorance would help me, but I tried anyway.

"Don't start Edward! She's part of our coven, our family; you can't keep her from us."

I groaned. "I'm not keeping you from her."

Emmett snorted. I saw Esme and Carlisle filter in the room as well, drawn from Alice's voice. I laid my head back against my couch wishing I was anywhere but here right now, wishing I was with Bella.

Alice continued. "Of course you're keeping her from us. She left over a week ago, and none of us have seen her since! Every time one of us decides to visit, as soon as you catch a scent of us, you take off with her somewhere so we can't see her."

I closed my eyes, hoping if I ignored them that they would all go away. I knew it was a faint hope, but I tried anyway.

Finally, Carlisle spoke up. "Talk to us son. What's going on?"

I sighed. "Nothing. I just want to spend time with Bella. I don't want to be apart from her. I don't really want to share her. I know she wants to visit, but if I bring her here you all are going to have her so busy with things I won't see her. Yes, it's selfish, but she's my mate."

Rose spoke up. "You really are a selfish prick. Bella isn't your pet that you get to keep for yourself. She's part of our family. Emmett is depressed because he hasn't seen his little sister in ages. I'm sick of his whining."

I growled out, sick of being ganged up on. "Yes, Rose, because you shared Emmett with the rest of the family so much when you were first mated. There were whole weeks I didn't see him and we lived in the same house!"

Rose came closer to me. "That's not the same at all. We were mated and strengthening our bond. It isn't like you and Bella are having sex to strengthen yours. Anything you're doing with her, we can too. Admit it. You just don't want to share."

I stood up so Rose and I were toe to toe, and I practically yelled. "There's more to bonding with your mate than sex, and you know it. I've been on the outside of three mated couples for decades. None of you ask or cared if I wanted to spend time with any of you when you were bonding or spending time together. Now that I have a mate, you think you should get to dictate when you spend time with her?"

Rose screeched. "It isn't all about you!"

I responded. "It isn't all about you, either."

Carlisle stepped between us and placed a hand on each of our shoulders. "Ok, calm down. Let's work through this."

I turned and walked across the room. I just needed space.

Alice spoke. "We don't want to take her away from you, Edward, but she's our family too. We want to see her. I miss her."

I sighed in defeat. I knew she was right. It wasn't fair of me to keep Bella from her friends, but I needed her. I needed to be with her. I knew my family. Soon Bella would be spending more time with them than me, and I didn't think I could handle it.

Esme came and stood by me. "Talk to us Edward. You always keep everything so bottled up inside. There has to be something we can all do to make this work."

"I don't know. I know it may not seem like it, but I don't want to keep Bella from everyone." Rose snorted, but I ignored her and continued. "I just need to be with her. Even before I understood I was mated to her, I always felt pulled to her. Now that I know, it almost hurts when I'm not with her. When I have to be away while she's in therapy, all I can think about is getting back to her, touching her and grounding myself just being in her presence. If we come here, I know everyone will want to spend time with her and pull her away from me."

Rose spat out, "Say it, Edward. You don't want to share. That's what it comes down to."

Carlisle quickly spoke, "It isn't being selfish; it's the way all mates are. Incredibly possessive and clingy while their bond forms. That bond can take years to be established. My concern though, is that Bella is still human and going through an incredibly difficult time that a family could be pivotal in helping her through."

Emmett spoke, "Yeah, Eddie, we don't want to take her from you, but we all connected with her and miss her. We know things for her are going crappy and want to let her know we care."

I took a deep breath. "I know. It's just . . . think back to right before Bella left for Riley's trial. She would come here and spend more time with everyone every day. There were some days she came here that I only saw her when we passed in the halls, or I sat in the back of the room watching her with one of you. I don't want that to happen again."

Esme gave me a hug. "You're right, Edward, that won't work. She is your mate and you both need each other. There has to be a way to work around this. It doesn't seem like it should be that difficult. Even if she came over for a movie night, we could all see her but you two could still be together."

Alice chimed in, "You do know that Christmas is two days away. We could have her here for presents and dinner."

I nodded. That could work. I hadn't really given a thought to it being Christmas. Normally we didn't do anything special for the holiday as a family. I knew Carlisle went to church on his own, but otherwise none of us acknowledge it. Bella though, I'm sure would be one to celebrate, but she hadn't even mentioned the holiday coming. I would talk to her and see what she wanted to do.

My phone vibrated, letting me know that Jasper was leaving Bella's. "I will talk to her and get back to all of you with a plan."

Esme kissed my cheek. "Just remember, we all love you both, and want what's best for each of you." I hugged her and turned to leave.

Alice stopped me. "Can I try and find something for all of us to do tonight? I promise to keep it light." I nodded and left.

When I got to Bella's, Jasper had already left. She was curled up on the couch, looking at the wall not really seeing it. I sat down next to her and she uncurled herself only to then curl up with me. I was slightly worried. Normally when I came back after a therapy session, Bella was happy and sat with me holding my hand or lightly touching in some way. We hadn't cuddled close like this in the week since she'd moved back to her house.

I pulled her closer to me and rested my cheek on her head before speaking. "Are you ok?"

Bella nodded her head.

I pressed her a bit. "Did something happen in therapy?"

"No, not exactly. I just miss my parents. I mean, up until now I've been focused on all the good things I remember and pushing everything else aside." She turned and looked up at me. "Did you know Christmas is two days away? I didn't, until Jasper said something. Christmas used to be so much fun, so many traditions. Now, now I just want to forget the Holiday. It hurts too much to think about. I just want to pretend it's just another day. Can we do that, Edward? Can we just make it another day?"

I leaned down and brushed my lips against her forehead. "Anything, my love. If you want a normal day, then that's what we'll do."

She gave a soft smile and cuddled back down against my chest. I held her to me, content to be this close to her. I had told her that any touch we'd participated in before was open to do again, but I'd instigated most of those touches, I was trying to go back to the beginning and not touch Bella in any way that she hadn't touch me since we'd talked about how touch affected our relationship. She was timid to touch me and I was trying to be patient and content with the hand holding, but I missed feeling her body against mine like this.

Neither of us moved for more than an hour when Bella's stomach grumbled. "What do you want for lunch, my love?" I asked.

She burrowed deeper into my chest. "Nothing, I'm happy just like I am."

I smiled. "Well, I am no longer happy. You're hungry. So let's get you fed quickly, then we can come sit right back here."

As I was peeling an orange my phone rang. I answered, "Yes, Alice."

"I have the perfect idea! Ice Skating!" she shrieked.

I rolled my eyes. "Alice, you do know Bella has a hard time walking across a normal surface. Why would you want to put her on ice?" I glanced up and saw Bella looking at me with her eyebrows raised, questioning what the conversation was about. I sent her a sheepish smile.

"Well that's what you're there for! You will be able to hold on and make sure she doesn't hurt herself," Alice said.

I smiled thinking about the possibilities. "You're right. That's not a bad idea. What time are you thinking?"

"Seven. That way we won't start in the dark, but it will be dark soon afterwards. "

I nodded thinking through everything I would need. "Can you bring me gloves? Where are we going to go?"

"I already packed your gloves, and we'll go where we've gone before. Emmett said you could take his jeep. See you then," she replied.

I hung up and Bella gave me a pointed look while tapping her toe on the floor. "Bella has a hard time walking across a normal surface?" she said.

I gave her my most winning smile. "Love, I was only thinking of your safety. You have to admit that you trip more than the average human. Alice mentioned ice skating, and I was worried."

Bella gave me a look that told me she wasn't buying my line at all. "Edward, you are so full of it! I'm not that bad!"

I knew I wouldn't win by telling her that she truly was the most vertically challenged human I'd met, so I decided to move forward. "Do you want to go ice skating with my family tonight?"

Bella smirked. "I don't know. Do you think I'll survive?"

I walked over to Bella and lightly placed my arms around her waist. "I would never doubt it, most graceful mate of mine."

Bella lips twitched and she finally broke out laughing. "Whatever, Edward. I would love to go skating with your family."

That night we arrived to find my family already waiting for us. Alice ran to Bella's side of the car. "Bella!" She grabbed her and gave her a hug. "I've missed you so much. I'm glad Edward let you out of the house!"

Bella laughed as she hugged Alice back. "I've missed you too."

Emmett came over and picked up both Alice and Bella. "Iza-bizza! Gosh I've missed you sister. Tell Edward to let you out more!"

After Emmett put the girls down Bella turned. "Stop picking on Edward; he wasn't keeping me hostage."

Rose sauntered up and spoke. "Actually he was. We had to stage an intervention this morning and beg him to allow us to see you."

Bella turned and glared at me. "Edward Anthony Masen, have you been keeping me from your family?"

I looked up knowing I was about to get in big trouble. "Cullen, not Masen."

Bella looked confused. "Huh? I thought your name was Edward Masen."

"That was my human name. I'm using it right now because we can't all very well use the name Cullen, but I'm part of the Cullen coven and therefore a Cullen. That's how I see myself."

Bella nodded. "Oh, that makes sense. It doesn't explain why your family says you're keeping me from them!"

"I wasn't keeping you from them." Rose snorted, and I glared at her. "It isn't that I don't want you to see my family. I just know they will end up monopolizing you, and I want to see you too."

Bella's playful glare fell off her face. "I wouldn't let that happen." She grabbed my hand and pulled me in for a hug. I felt like an ass. I should have known that Bella would want to be with me as much I wanted to be with her. She was the only person I knew that could stand up to Alice and get her to change her pixie plans. Bella may be hurting, but she didn't need me placing her in a bubble.

Carlisle spoke. "So, Bella, I want to put your mind at ease. I alerted the nearest hospital that you would be skating and likely end up in a trauma ward by the end of the night. They're on alert."

Esme came up behind him and elbowed him in the ribs. "Carlisle, that was plain mean. You apologize to Bella right now." She grabbed Bella and gave her a hug. "Ignore him, my dear. I'm sure you'll be fine."

"Bella, I was only joking." Carlisle smiled.

Bella pretended to glare at him. "So where are we? It seems like the middle of nowhere."

Alice laughed. "It isn't the middle nowhere, but you can see it from here. This is just a pond far from any people. That way we can skate and not be interrupted. We can smell a human for miles here."

Bella blushed, and I kissed the top of her head. "No worries, my love, while you smell delicious, no one will hurt you."

Bella rolled her eyes. "I know that."

Alice brought out a pair of ice skates for Bella to put on. "Do you know how to skate?" she asked.

Bella shook her head. "No, I don't. I mean I skated once or twice when I was a little kid, but it's been years."

I quickly donned my skates and waited patiently while Bella put hers on. When she was done she stood up with a noticeable wobble to her stance. I quickly grabbed her arm to steady her. "Don't worry, I won't let you fall," I softly said.

She gave me a tremulous smile, and I guided her to the pond where my family was already skating and having fun. Carlisle and Esme were skating together like a perfect couple holding hands and talking. Alice was figure skating, twirling and jumping in the air. Rose was watching Jasper and Emmett who were playing some kind of game of tag that involved a lot of swearing and full body slams.

Bella looked up from her feet and saw what everyone was doing and her jaw dropped. "Do any of you struggle with anything? I know I'm not especially graceful, but being around you would be enough to give Michelle Kwan a complex!"

I chuckled. "You forget, we have years to practice and unlimited time, plus when we're turned our sense of balance and stamina increase exponentially. "

Bella snorted, and said under her breath, where I'm sure she didn't think I'd hear her, "stupid vampires." I could hear the humor in her voice and knew she wasn't upset.

We were on the edge of the ice, and I turned so I was facing her and brought both of my arms up. Bella grabbed each, and I slowly backed up so she was on the ice. "That's it. We'll go slowly until you get the hang of it." Bella and I spent the next half an hour together skating, her confidence growing along with her stability. I no longer was skating in front of her, but next to her.

"The moon is beautiful tonight," she said.

"Yes, it is." There was a full moon, so while it was night, there was still a lot of light for Bella to see where she was going and what was going on. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "But it's not as beautiful as you."

Bella blushed; I reveled in the scent. I no longer was tempted the same way by her blood. Oh, I craved it still, but I now loved the burn, knowing it meant Bella was alive and with me. It was as much a part of her as everything else, and I didn't think there was anything about her I could hate.

Alice skated over to us and smiled. She started talking to Bella, and I could see that they both missed each other. I felt like a cad for having kept Bella to myself. Alice was amazing; she always treated Bella like she was one of the family and like she had no issues. I think Alice gave Bella a sense of normalcy that had been missing for years. When Bella was with Alice, she relaxed in a way that she didn't with anyone else and seemed like a normal college girl without a worry in the world. Part of me wanted to be jealous, but I couldn't. Seeing my love smile so free was too beautiful. Plus, I knew she shared a side with me that no one else could ever really see.

A little while later Bella started shivering. "Are you cold?"

Esme heard and skated over. "I brought some hot chocolate. Let me go get it." She returned carrying a thermos. We stopped skating, and Bella drank with a smile on her face.

"Thank you, Esme. That was wonderful. You didn't have to bring me hot chocolate, but I admit it tasted awesome and warmed me up."

Esme reached over with a gloved hand and patted Bella cheek. "It is my pleasure."

Esme stayed and talked to Bella with Alice. I decided to give Bella some girl time and excused myself skating over to where Jasper and Emmett were now engaged in some kind of race that had obstacles and breaks for fighting. I waited for the next skirmish to break out and barreled in unexpectedly, taking them both out.

"So not fair dude," Emmett cried as he launched himself at me. I read his thoughts and dodged him easily. Jasper got into the fray, and we spent the next three quarters of an hour going after each other and basically acting like five year old boys. I made sure I was aware of Bella at all times, but she was talking to Esme and Alice, who I knew wouldn't let her fall, so I wasn't worried.

I heard Bella say that she was getting cold, and the girls started moving to the jeep. I turned and skated over to them. "Ready to leave, love?"

Bella cheeks were a rosy color, along with her nose. When she smiled, I swear I had never seen anything more adorable. "Yes, I think I'm ready to go somewhere warmer," she said.

I led her to the jeep and started taking her skates off. She snorted "I can do that myself, Edward. I'm not helpless."

I smirked at her. "Oh, I know you're not helpless, my dear, but I'll take any chance I can to touch you."

Bella smiled. "Your incorrigible!"

Alice came bounding up. "Do you want to go back to our house and watch a movie?"

Bella turned and looked at me. I could tell she wanted to but didn't want to say yes after I made and idiot of myself keeping her away from my family. I held Bella's eyes and I responded, "Sure, we'll come see a movie for a little bit, give Bella a chance to warm up before she goes to bed."

Bella's smile was all the assurance I needed. Alice bounced on her toes. "Perfect. I'll run home and get everything set up!"

Bella climbed in the jeep and I quickly took my skates off and drove back to my house. By the time we got there the rest of the family was already home. Once I helped Bella unbundle we went to the movie room where I sat on the couch. I was surprised and please when Bella decided to forgo the spot next to me and climbed into my lap instead. I leaned in and smelled her hair, fresh from being outdoors. "I love you," I whispered.

She turned and glanced at me. "I love you too."

It was Jasper's turn to pick a movie and he'd selected Black Hawk Down. Esme came in bringing Bella another hot chocolate and soup. Bella thanked her and dug in.

Halfway through the movie Bella excused herself to go to the bathroom and Carlisle came over and sat next to me. "Edward," he said. "I would like to talk to Bella, but I wanted to run it by you first. I know if you agree, Bella will be more likely too, and if you disagree, nothing will get Bella to do it. She's been eating well now for a few weeks and already she is putting on a little weight. I would like her to gain good muscle strength and make sure that physically she's in top form. Can she train with Emmett? He can set up a program for her, you can be there of course, but I think she'd benefit from it."

Emmett spoke up. "Honestly, I'd love to help Baby Bear. It would be nice to put some of the PT and OT degrees that I've gotten to use as well. It won't take much to turn a room here into a make shift gym."

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. "Yeah, that would be good for her. Do you want me to talk to her, Carlisle, or are you going to?"

Carlisle smiled. "I would like Bella to come by tomorrow or the next day, and let me give her a quick once over. I can already tell her heart rate and breathing is better, but I would like to get a blood pressure reading and a proper weight check on her. I can ask her then."

I nodded.

Alice chimed in. "Well, I'm planning a party for her in two days for Christmas. I don't want her to have a physical then. So do it tomorrow."

"No. No, party. Bella talked to me today and begged me to skip Christmas. It's just too painful right now," I said.

Alice turned to Jasper who kissed her on the nose. "Sorry, sunshine. Not this year. Bella's just not ready for all that. Next year, though, she should be fine."

Alice sighed. "Ok, I understand."

Bella came out of the bathroom and walked in the room. She appeared tired; when she looked at me I guessed it was time to go home. "Are you ready, love? It's getting kinda late. Maybe we can come back and visit tomorrow."

She gave a soft smile and nodded. We said our goodbyes and went back to Bella's house for her to sleep.

Again thanks for those of you still with me. I appreciate all the great ideas on special dates. I did do the ice skating as a family event but look for a real Edward and Bella date soon.

Extra points to those that recognized the Thelma and Louise quote.

Thank you to Ronnie and Nissa for sticking with me and going through my chapter before I send it to you.

Thanks to all that review!