why does anyone put up with my shit

Disclaimer: fuck

Warning: dialogue chapter bby

the next few chapters are gonna be dialogue tbh (im a piece of shit)

wake me

I should hopefully be updating more often (I've just been busy as fuck)

"Something's seriously wrong with her…" I sighed, glancing up at the beautiful indigo-dyed sky. On any other day I would've paused to admire it's beauty, but today I almost frowned in disgust at its very presence. How dare something so elegant be around when everything was so wrong. "You saw it too, didn't you?" I glanced back at my father, and saw that he too, had glanced upwards. His eyes were closed and his brows scrunched together, and I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking about.

"I'm honestly not sure what I saw…" His tone had quite an sharp edge to it, but it was obvious the confusing events that had just taken place had managed to drive off his anger, even if only for a short while. "I remember last time I spoke with her, Izaya was there…" He paused to pull out a cigarette. "But, she clearly hated him more than she'd ever hated anything before…" He pulled out a lighter as well, but made no attempt to light the cigarette in his hand.

"And she wasn't acting like herself at all...She seemed like an entirely different person…" I glanced around the bustling city, hoping to somehow find something that might aid in deciphering this madness. "It's almost like someone else is possessing her and controlling her actions…" I brushed a few stray chocolate locks from my face and continued to stare at the faceless sea of bodies. "But, whatever's going on with her, we'll figure it out…"

"Ah, this is wonderful, wouldn't you agree Melo-chan~?" The informant leaned back even more on the leather couch. I curled up closer to him, despite my inner protests and gave a rather happy sigh.

"Yeah…" I looked up at him with sheer disgust, but the look was almost immediately replaced with undying love. Yet no matter how quickly the look of utter hatred had passed, it still had been slow enough for him to catch. A grin sprouted on his features, and his eyes gleamed in delight.

"You're a strong one, aren't you~?" He teased, pinching his cheeks with my fingers, and pulling the skin upwards to give me some sort of a demented smile. "I'll admit, it's quite entertaining to watch you trying to fight Saika's power." His grin only seemed to grow as he leaned even closer to my face until they weren't even an inch apart. "It's almost pitiful…" Izaya sneered, only further reinforcing my hatred for the beast.

'I can't stand this…' I wondered if the immense hatred I felt was flooding my eyes, and I wondered if he could sense my anger, even if it wasn't. 'I've got to break free from this hell…' My mind continued to scan over the many potential plans I'd come up with for the past few days. 'I'm going to lose it if I don't…' I didn't notice the informant's grin continue to grow as he watched my inner struggle. 'I hate this…' I didn't notice at all that Saika's suffocating power had seemed to lift a little. 'If I could just break free…' I stood up and glanced down at the sepia eyed male. "Are you hungry?" My face became sympathetic and I offered a kind smile. "I'll go make you something to eat." I mindlessly drifted into the kitchen. 'Isn't that what Haruna did? If I broke free of this…' My mind whirled as I unconsciously began preparing a meal for Izaya.

'Would I be just like her? Would I be able to cut others and control their actions…?' I hummed as I continued to chop vegetables. 'And if I could, should I…?' The vegetables made a small 'plop,' as I dumped them into the pot to simmer. I now began the same process with the beef, cutting it into edible pieces, only halfway in the present. I felt nothing as I continued this mindless task, no worries, no pain, no regret, and not even Saika's overbearing will controlling my every move. And I hardly noticed the small smile that appeared on my face. All I cared about was the fact that for once, everything was finally quiet.

"Where the hell are we going now?" The blond spat, his aura becoming darker with every step we took. I, in response rolled my eyes for what could be the millionth time and turned back to face him.

"Does everything just piss you off?" I retorted somewhat harshly, being fed up with his constant bitching and moaning. 'Is there anything that doesn't piss him off?' I scowled when his response was a simple growl of irritation. But, despite the fact that he was very reluctant to continue roaming the city to unravel this mystery, his feet kept moving forward, and he continued to follow me throughout the concrete jungle. "I mean seriously, don't you care at all about your daughter?" I looked away from him and once again focused on the road in front of me.

"What the hell kind of question is that?" He grabbed my shoulder and spun me around to face him once again. Protests scattered around us from the displeased people who passed, but we both stood our ground. Well, it was more that he was forcing me to face him, but that was a minute detail. "She's my daughter, why wouldn't I care about her?" His face had become dark and his eyes were shining brightly with rage, but I didn't back down from what I'd said.

In fact I continued to dig my grave as I finally vented all my own pent up frustrations to the man who dared call himself a parent. "This whole damn time you've been complaining about how inconvenient this is for you!" I jabbed a finger into his far too bony face. "If you really cared about what was going on you wouldn't be complaining about how you don't like having to do this! The very definition of caring for others is putting their own needs about yours and not bitching about it! I mean Jesus fucking Christ, if she threw herself off the roof of our house you'd complain about the fact that there's a huge stain on the ground now and not about the fact that your fucking daughter's dead!" Globs of spit flew from my mouth and onto his face as I continued to scream and let my voice finally be heard.

"Do you even know why she came to Japan without telling you?! She didn't do it to try and fuck over your business or whatever the hell you're blaming her for! She did it because she was sick of you!" My throat felt worse than sandpaper, but that didn't stop me from continuing to screech at the vile man who stood in front of me. "You're the worst fucking parent in the entire world! No matter what your kids do, no matter how much they accomplish, they'll still be complete shit in your eyes!" I sighed, and felt the blood slowly draining from my face as I forced myself to calm down. I ran my fingers through my unkempt hair with a sigh. "Maybe you should just leave... you clearly don't care about her...not in the way a father should at least…" I brushed his shaky hand off of my shoulder, turned around, and began to stroll away from the scene. "Just go back to America already." I wondered if he had even heard the last words out of my mouth, but for the first time in my life, I didn't care.

'Doesn't this creep ever sleep?' I continued to hum quietly as I sorted the various papers in front of me, trying my hardest to keep my unnaturally cheerful aura present. 'Will this even work…?' Doubt infected my brain once again when I glanced at the raven's face and saw the smirk that adorned it. 'Does he know?' I quickly wiped away the bead of sweat that had formed on my forehead. 'Is he aware of the fact that Saika's no longer in control?' I saw the face of my former student and his name, quite obnoxiously bolded on the paper I held now, but forced myself to ignore it.

'Has he known since the moment I was freed?' I tucked the paper into a binder, and returned said binder to the shelf beside me. 'Or is he completely oblivious to my situation?' The prospect of him having no idea that I was no longer under his control instantly made me perk up, and only added to my cheerful attitude.

"You seem to be in a rather good mood, Melo-chan…" His fingers moved effortlessly across the keyboard that lay in front of him, his face not ever once leaving the screen as the words left his mouth.

"Of course I am!" I chirped, forcing the most enthusiastic smile I could to engrave itself into my face. "Why wouldn't I be happy?" I continued to talk as I approached him, continuously reminding myself that I must not break character. I had to act as if I were still madly in love with him, and part of that wasn't being completely repulsed just by being around him. "Today was such a wonderful day!" I wrapped my arms around his waist and placed my head on his shoulder, not only to give off an affectionate tone, but to read over his shoulder and try to get a good idea of what was going on.

Chrome: Have you heard?

Chrome: There was a hit and run near Ikebukuro today!

Pure Water 100%: Oh no! So scary!

Sharo: Was it on the news?

Chrome: No, since no one died?

Gaki: Then how did you hear about it Chrome?

Pure Water 100%: Are you the culprit by chance?

Chrome: Of course I'm not!

Chrome: Don't you ever look at the Dollars' bulletin board?

Sharo: Meaning it's a Dollars-related incident?

Chrome: The person who got run over was kinda a boss in the Dollars named Kadota.

'Kadota...was…?' My eyes widened as I read the words on the screen over and over, my body completely frozen.

I tomatotally want to die