37

It was two days before the end of the month of Border Accords before Ren woke and there was another attack.

…..

Gaara paused at the bridge. The man beside him stank of a contradicting combination of alcohol and home-cooked food. The sun was watery in the grey, winter skies and Gaara's mood reflected the same muted, confused mess of pale tones.

He was too far inside himself again.

There should be no hesitation. Gaara had never relied on those around him, and those times he had he had been brutally reminded of the folly of such a weakness. There was only himself. That had made him strong, which had kept him alive and steady in what was otherwise an empty existence. He couldn't even rightly say whether he counted himself among the ranks of the human race anymore. What else was he but a hollow shell for an angry ghost? But then ghosts did not feel hesitation in such matters.

And at that moment, he was.

Gaara's feet were rooted, half over and half off the grey stone of the bridge lacquered with a patchwork of frost. His breath plumed and dissipated in even streams of silver air. He was not cold; the woman who had housed him during his recovery had already pushed a cloak of moss green into his arms before asking her father to show him to the bridge. She was teary-eyed at that time, casting anxious eyes between his unyielding expression and a tight-jawed, morose Fuu in the corner. The other Jinchuriki had given no parting words. Quiet was not a disposition often found on her, nor was it one befitting of someone who was characteristically full-brimmed with languorous energy. A pang (unknown to Gaara in origin or cause) caught a point in his chest at the thought that this would be the last time he'd see her, the last time he'd see either of the pair he'd spent every day with for a good while now.

Gaara silently narrowed his eyes. He'd be alone again. He was accustomed to loneliness. He'd spent his life trapped in loneliness. To stay while neither proved of any use would be folly, it was just illogical. If Ren never woke what did it matter to him? If Fuu anchored to the comatose Ren was caught vulnerable and unprepared by those that pursued, what did it matter to him? His was an existence unto itself. The lives and wishes of others did not enter the empty life he inhabited.

So why was he hesitating?

"Nice bridge, huh?" the old man beside him uttered in course, low tones as he mistook Gaara's indecision for admiring the architecture.

"You probably wouldn't believe me if I said that none of us thought it'd get finished," the old man cast one eye down at his silent ward, "looking at it now anyway."

'Looking at it now' Gaara turned the phrase over and over again in his head like an antique dealer admires his goods. Change was an odd concept to Gaara, he had placed his faith in it again and again and it was always returned to him more bruised than it had been before. Was change possible then? Could something, anything actually remain standing after Gaara had chosen to trust it with his belief? Or was betrayal the natural course of the world as he had already deduced?

Once again, why was he hesitating?

"But anyone who understood would try to get the others out," Ren's voice floated through the mire, that one speech joining many others she had made over the course of his time in her presence.

She and Naruto were the first ones to speak to him with something other than hate or fear. 'And yet' a familiar, darker part of Gaara's mind whispered, 'for all her talk, she's betrayed you now like they did. She let you believe it was possible and now she, like the others, has left you on your own again'. She'd given out, wiped away like sand in a clenched fist and abandoned all her passionate talk of freedom in everything but body. She'd left Gaara and Fuu, pushy and clingy for his attention up till this point, had chosen to stay with what was left of her. They'd turned their back on him….or was Gaara turning his back on them?

The thought had every muscle in his body stiffening as a new emotion slugged through his limbs in rich, robust waves. It was guilt and Gaara had not felt it's like since a time he could barely remember in his conditioned apathetic state. Who was the betrayer here?

"So," the old man voiced, clearly growing uncomfortable with the boy's silent, stony demeanour, "you just cross the Great Naruto Bridge here and you should be back in Fire Country. From there, you're on your own kid but Tsunami said you should come by if you find yourself in trouble again."

Every word after the bridge's name had petered to a static buzz in Gaara's ears. Slowly he turned to the old man with wide eyes and slack features.

"…what did you say the bridge was called?" Gaara rasped.

The old man blinked, "The Great Naruto Bridge, named after the little loud-mouth brat who defended it."

"Naruto?" Gaara breathed but the barely there voice was swallowed up by the sound of insects wings and sandals skidding to a halt.

A dark hand slammed down on the wall at the beginning of the bridge, obscuring the view Gaara was staring blankly at for a moment. When the long fingers uncurled from the fist a tattered deck of cards sat atop the wall where Fuu's hand had been moments before. Gaara stared at the deck, suddenly unable to connect the wires and grasp at the iron foundations he'd built his wretched existence on.

"Look," Fuu's voice was biting and furious but still Gaara could only continue to stare at the cards atop the wall, "I know you don't want to hear it and you know what, I don't even know why I'm bothering!"

Gaara distantly heard her cluck and the strands of her hair brush against her neck as she shook her head, disgusted. Disgusted with him most likely. Fuu had yet to look him in the eye as Naruto and Ren had, and there directly before him sat two proofs of those two people; Ren's cards on Naruto's wall.

"But you wanted proof or something, huh? I don't think we'll ever really get on, we're just too different but one thing all three of us have together is hope, alright!" Fuu thundered, "Hope that Ren-chan was right and you don't want to let yourself believe in it because what? You don't have any proof that's what happened in the past won't happen again?"

Gaara looked at her at that, still in a numb state of shock, only capable of absorbing what was happening to him and around him but no way to direct it. She was surprisingly insightful for someone who persistently pushing at the personal boundaries of others. Was that how he felt? A stabbing sensation beneath the heavy fog seemed to agree with her.

"Well," Fuu gestured to the cards with a ferocious jerk of her chin, "there's your proof! You don't sleep, me and Ren do and yet every time we've made camp she's stayed up as long as she can. Why's that, huh?"

Gaara didn't know, he didn't understand.

Fuu's snarled, only further incensed by his apparent confusion, "it's to keep you company. Why am I here at all? Because, believe it or not, I don't want you to go off and get killed somewhere. You think someone as proud and selfish as Ren would let herself lose sleep or even bother trying to talk to people who weren't praying at her feet, if she didn't care? You think I, who runs when stuff starts getting to me, would be here shouting at you on a bloody bridge, if I didn't care?"

Gaara could only stare up at her as the older Jinchuriki fought to catch her breath after that outburst.

"Look," Fuu sounded exhausted as she pressed one closed fist against her forehead and closed her eyes, "at the end of the day, we need you. You're the only one who can talk to Ren properly and you were the only one out of us determined and collected enough to not lose sight of the plan. I know Ren's always pushing about choice but…if you go now I'm not gonna welcome you if you change your mind later. It was meant to be the Jinchuriki together, right?"

Fuu exhaled breath and drew herself up, finally opening her eyes again, "So…we need you, please stay."

Gaara's gaze slid from Fuu's probing stare to the deck on the wall. It looked lonely, the corners shuffled by a winter breeze and nothing but grey sky at its back. They wanted him to stay. The merits Fuu had described were his own, dependent on himself not the demon's influence. Did that mean, around them, he was Gaara? Could he trust in the care Fuu had described? Gaara was unsure.

But one thing he did know with a certainty that surprised him was that he could not go. He wasn't entirely sure that he would of even if Fuu hadn't appeared. Love. He wanted that acceptance so much it almost felt like another physical force inside his body. But the question was could he trust that it would ever be given to him without some sinister pitfall attached? Once again, Gaara didn't know and he didn't enjoy not knowing. If he left at least he'd have a security in his own isolation. But then life would be the same as before, only the setting changed. They actually needed him, him, and that responsibility to them would be part of his identity and his alone. They would rely on him, would seek and exist in his company. It would no longer be an existence just onto himself.

Could he trust them?

Gaara's pale hand reached out and hovered over the cards. He wanted to. The hand curled around the worn deck and slowly deposited them into the folds of his cape. Turning to Fuu he nodded once and managed a small, serene smile completely independent of any effort. Without another word he turned and began walking back towards the house, where he realised there was far more shouting and footsteps than before. Maybe a sign that Ren had finally awoken? He was not partial to fanciful imaginings, but at that thought couldn't help envisioning her eyes snapping open the moment Gaara turned back towards the house.

He didn't know if he could trust them but, despite himself or maybe in aid of himself, he wanted to.

And for now that was enough.

…..

Naruto blew on the hot steam rising from his bowl, but for once he didn't feel like noodles. He was still garbed in the clothes he'd worn to the funeral three hours ago and right now Naruto honestly didn't feel like doing anything.

It felt like the second funeral in the space of days. Although the time between the Third Hokage's service and Rock Lee's was far larger than that, in Naruto's mind everything was happening at terrifying speed.

The Third Hokage was gone. Rock Lee was gone. Sasuke was gone.

And all because he wasn't strong enough. Naruto's hands tightened around the bowl as frustration. He'd promised hadn't he? Now that he had precious people, now that he was finally beginning to prove himself and now that he had a team to rely on, that could support each other and grow stronger together. Hadn't he promised to protect all that with every single fibre of his being? So what the hell was he doing!?

A hand, firm but gentle, landed on his shoulder before Naruto could sink any deeper into the biting thoughts.

Jiraya cast a nonchalant look between Naruto and the still-steaming noodles in the bowl before dryly remarking, "trying to stare your food down too now, kid?"

"Get off me," Naruto grumbled in a melancholy tone, he wasn't in the mood for Jiraya to make a joke out of this too. He'd deeply respected Rock Lee and the news of his death right after the loss of Sasuke had sapped every ounce of his energy for the moment.

Jiraya stared at Naruto's hunched shoulders, regretful expression and the blue eyes blazing with frustrated self-condemnations and sighed.

Turning his head up to look at the steam that collected in the upper corners of the noodle stand's ceiling, folding his arms behind his head as he did so. Civilians chatted and laughed in the night air outside Ichiraku; their presence lingering at the fringes of the sombre atmosphere inside. The world did not stop for you, it just continued to stream by.

He finally murmured, "yeah, it sucks I know kid."

"What would you know about it?" Naruto bit back, bitter and furious about his own grief.

Jiraya only flicked his eyes to stare at the boy from the corner of his, "you think I could have been a shinobi this long without losing people."

It wasn't a question and Naruto swallowed his misguided anger. It wasn't pervy sage's fault. He only had himself to blame. And only he could put it right. The buds of a new hardening in Naruto were interrupted as a Career Chunin came barrelling into the Ramen Stand. His dark eyes were frantic, passing right over Jiraya and Naruto before latching onto the Chunin who sat far in the other corner.

"Gorou!" one yelled, "Have you heard!?"

The Chunin startled from where he'd been drowsily sipping at his sake, turning to the two men with an irritable expression.

"Will you stop shouting, Minori? I'm right in front of you," the Chunin, Gorou, muttered, passing a hand over his tanned, waxy face before trailing it over his bald head and rubbing at his neck.

The other Chunin, Minori, either didn't register what his partner had said or simply had too much urgency to bother considering the request. Minori's pale features were creased with anxiety, every line of his body practically screaming panic as he dashed over to the older Chunin's side.

"Shut up, that it's important!" Minori raged, his hands fisting in the front of Gorou's shirt.

Naruto watched with a dreaded sense of anticipation as all sense of cordiality and control fled in the face of the younger Chunin. He could only see Gorou's face (the back of Minori's blonde head hiding away his face) but as Gorou's eyes widened in response to whatever expression Minori wore Naruto's gut dropped. Jiraya's hand tightened on Naruto's shoulder but the Kyuubi container barely felt it. 'This is bad. This is bad. This is bad,' repeated over and over again in Naruto's head with all the stomach-churning anxiety of a bad omen.

"There's been an attack!" Minori's voice made even the civilian's passing outside pause, "over by the border to Suna, a team of Kirigakure Nin the same ones that visited after the Chunin Exams! They came over the border and murdered everyone on post! We managed to catch the one but who knows what they were after!"

"…What," Gorou barely breathed, "that's impossible, Sunagakure wouldn't allow Kiri Nin to come across their border and if they'd infiltrated the Suna border they would have notified us."

"Not unless Suna allowed them in!" Minori growled, "Iwagakure even sent a team including their own Jinchuriki into Kumogakure just yesterday! The Border Accords are broken!"

"Oh yeah," Jiraya stood slowly, hand still resting on Naruto's folder as he pulled the shocked boy from his chair, "and where'd you hear this?"

"From my commanding officer," Minori whirled on Jiraya, too lost in panic to realise who he was talking to, "he said we needed to start preparing for war!"

At the word 'War' fearful whispers began to pick up outside, gasps and low angry voices and too many anxious, frightened mouths passing anxious, frightened words between each other. Naruto took an instinctive step backward, feeling as if the crowd gathering outside were a wave about to crash over him.

"Look buddy," Jiraya drawled giving the Chunin an unimpressed eye, "do you mind keeping your voice down there's civilians here."

Whether he did or not, Naruto did not know. The large, warm hand was at his back again, carefully steering him through the crowds and talk of impending war.

A/N:

Okay first attempt at Gaara's POV, hopefully it wasn't too painful XD Okay now to clear up some things I'm not sure I managed to in this chappie:

1: Remember when Pein and Itachi's and Deidara's Team met up and all were particular about telling their Leader about the prisoners/ corpses they had preserved after their respective missions? This is why. Sasori did his little evil puppet thing on Han and his Teammates, while Itachi used Genjutsu to make Chojuro attack Konohagakure while he and Kisame are disguised as Issei and Manami. Both sets of Teams are easily recongisable as shinobi of that country so the Mei and Onoki can't really disprove that they weren't behind the attack.

Pein is basically trying to escalate the war because what proves his point that the Shinobi Villages won't stop trying to kill each other unless someone MAKES them stop better than giving his spiel while there's another Shinobi War. Plus everyone'll be too busy fighting each other to concentrate on him and they'll be weaker when he finally steps out the shadows, so triple-win for Pein there if it all goes to plan.

2: Rock Lee is dead because of his confrontation with Kimimaro during the Sasuke Retrieval Arc. Gaara and the Sand Sibs show up in cannon to help, but in this universe Gaara isn't in Suna and after the Kage Summit Suna and Konoha really aren't on the best of terms anyway. So drunk Lee vs. Kimimaro on his own, and well…you know how it ends. I'm not adding this in for kicks, I wanted to show how much of an impact the Jinchuriki's defection was having to cannon. The upcoming War being another one.

3: On the point of the Tsukuyomi to my understanding (I may be wrong though) you have to either be a Uchiha or have the caster release the technique to break out of it. In Ren's case, it's the second option since as mentioned before Pein is going to use Gaara and co. like fishing bait for the other Jinchuriki. As to why he didn't break the technique immediately? Ren's weaker this way and the group overall is more scared of the Akatsuki's power.

Hope that cleared everything up and you enjoyed the chapter, thank you to everyone who's continued to show support for this, with my tendency for worrying it SERIOUSLY would not be here without you. Ren's awake next chapter :D

THANKS FOR READING :3