Crimson Fate 36 (R-M)
Chapter 36 - Back to Black (Amy Whinehouse)
(A confrontation, a devastation, a meeting, a revelation, a blackout)
Guys, this chapter will open a few doors you've been waiting for. I think it's one of my favorite chapters in the story. Please Enjoy it, and let me know what you think.
"Let's get married."
"Marcie, we can't just get married?"
"Why not?"
"Because, I haven't planned anything, or picked a dress. I want it to be nice. And we can't do this without your mother and sister. It wouldn't be right. Besides, I just think you're acting on your emotions, because of Cade."
"I'm acting like a man, who doesn't want to waste any more time. Besides, my momma doesn't have to be involved. But, I'll make sure to tell B. She deserves to know. We can go to the Justice of the peace today, and my sister can be a witness."
"Marcel. Why does it feel, like you're just trying to be rebellious? I want to marry you, I accepted your proposal. But, I also, want it to be done right. I want people's blessings, and I want to plan something beautiful. I don't want to rush it, because of a club issue."
"GG, baby... I don't want to marry you because of a club issue. I want to marry you, because you are the woman I love and want to spend my life with. You are the reason, I do everything these days. And whether you believe me or not, the sooner we make it official, the happier I'll be. My life is crazy, and I just want you, to know, nothing would make me happier than making you my wife."
She grabbed him by his hands in the parking lot of her workplace. "I get it. I do. But I need a little time to think okay? I need to process this."
"Okay. I feel you. I'll give you some time to think. Just understand that my sun rises and sets for you." He looked her in the eyes and kissed the backs of her hands. "I gotta head to the club. We have a big deal later, but I'll pick you up... tonight. I love you."
"Okay, baby. I love you too."
...
Bonnie walked silently through the halls, seeing her questionable best friend standing at the end of it, as she was heading to her last class.
"Hey, can we talk?" He leaned against the wall with hands in his pockets.
"Listen Stefan, I don't really wanna deal with-"
"It has to do with my brother."
"Listen, I know you know now. But what's done is done, and-"
"It's urgent… B." Suddenly her concern, shut her up and she stopped abruptly and looked at him, on pause. "I swear."
"Sure."
"Can we go outside?"
"Well, I have class, so-"
"Please?"
"Okay." She followed him outside, as she waited for him to speak. "So, what's this about?" She secretly hoped Caroline had mentioned everything to him already, so they could get it on the table.
"Uh, well... first I want to come right out and say I know you spoke to Caroline. I should really explain myself."
"Yeah, I'd say so." Arms crossed impatiently.
"She and I haven't really been sneaking around. It started as a random thing, and eventually, we just, became closer. We've hung out once in a while. Not like everyday or anything, just a few times. I didn't want to tell you for a number of reasons-"
"Like what? Because you were with Elena." She asked impatiently.
"That. And, I just needed to have something that felt like mine and that I didn't have to share. My whole life is this club, B. It gets hectic and lonely. She has been amazing to me."
"Except, you have to remember, she is my best friend, and you can't have her to yourself. You realize, that by doing that, you put her in a bad position, forcing her to lie to me? How fucking dare you?"
"I see that now, but at the time it made sense."
"Really? Wow. Hiding her from the club, I get, but me? And let's not forget the comments you made to Elena in poor taste about me being in love with you. I mean, Stefan... what the hell is even wrong with you?" Even though, in his mind it was the other way around. He knew he had feelings for Bonnie, he'd lied for his own selfish purposes and ego, and he regretted it, because he never wanted it to get back to her. Regardless of everything, she was his best friend, and he loved her and wanted to protect her and her feelings.
"Stupidity, on my part. But in all fairness... you lying to me is just as big. As long as you've been able to think for yourself, you hate the club. You hate bikers. This life is stupid. You couldn't agree with me trying to patch in. And guess what...? You went for the deepest one in this shit. You went for the guy, who stands for this more than the rest of us." He started to raise his voice.
"Yeah, well... it wasn't my intention or his, okay."
"But he's a representation of everything you hate!"
"He's more than just a King, Stef. He's much more than that. And I got to know that. I got to know him, for who he is outside of this club, and as a person. He was… so good to me."
She swallowed heavily trying to fill the empty space in her chest with her hollowed out breaths.
"B, you were my best friend! The virgin. The girl too good for this shit. The girl who was making a life for herself, without her father's legacy and then you just, made everything you said a lie."
"Well, look, it's over now. He and I were a mistake, and it'll never happen again. So, you don't have to worry. It was a huge fucking mistake." Stefan braced himself for what he had to say next, because this is the part that he hated. "And so, Caroline said to ask you about it. I was positive you'd flip out if you fucking knew. Why'd you stay so quiet about it for so long?"
"About that, I - uhh, need to come clean." She looked up at him, and tightened the crossed arms over her chest. "So, uhh, when I first saw you two together, I didn't believe my eyes. I was so angry, and in my anger... I forced my brother to end things!" He was afraid to look up at her facial expression, but when he did, he saw all expression, wash from her, even the eye squint from the sun, morphed into shock.
"What did you just say?"
"Listen, in my defense, I had no idea what you guys were. I thought, he was talking you into something you weren't ready for?"
"Like what? Sex?"
"I don't know Bonnie. One day he was the enemy, the next you guys were, checking into rooms and-"
"Tell me…." She rubbed her fingers across her forehead in opposite direction of each other, from the instant tension that gathered in the center about to force her a migraine, "Tell…. Me… you're lying Stefan. Tell me right now, you're fucking lying!"
"I can't. I'm sorry. I felt betrayed, and I also, thought-" he paused wiping his hand over the bottom half of his face. "I don't know what I thought. I just wanted to stop seeing what I saw and protect you from potentially, getting hurt. Like Lexi."
"By who? You're own brother? Your flesh and blood? He's your brother, Stefan! I mean I don't get it, first I'm supposedly jealous of you and Elena, then I'm on the verge of being taken advantage of? I'm almost eighteen. I'm not a got damn baby! You're crazy. I think you're fucking crazy!"
"Bonnie, you lied to me! He lied to me! He's my brother, and you're my best friend! How do you think that felt?"
"I get it. And I'm sorry you took it personally. But you literally have fucked two of my friends. You kept one a secret, and told the other I was jealous of your relationship. You're a huge hypocrite! A fucking asshole! I'm sorry I deserved a little privacy. And you know why we kept it a secret. Damon could have lost everything if the club found out. Why would we have risked it?"
"B, I thought I was protecting you."
"And Lexi? You knew about Lexi? She told you?"
"B?"
"Answer me!"
"I did."
"Wow, Stefan. Of all the fucking people and all the fuckin deceit, and secrets, and lies… you have nerve to feel some type of way about me, and Damon. Yet, you've been lying to me for a year, about multiple things. MULTIPLE FUCKING THINGS!"
"You don't understand. I said I'd protect you. From things that hurt you. Since we were seven! I may have fucked up, but my reasons were to protect you."
"Why does everyone feel this overwhelming need to protect me, even if it means hurting me, or lying to me? That's not protection. That's cowardice. It's selfishness! And bullshit! You! Marcel! Lexi! The only person who told me the truth was Caroline, and it's because of Friday night. And for some reason, she cares about you. You straight asshole! Fuck you Stefan, you fuckin hypocrite!"
"I deserve that. But I wanted to protect you. I swear to God."
"Don't justify your selfishness."
"It's the truth."
"And what, leverage did you use to tell him to do it, or was it as easy for him to break my heart as he made it seem?" She asked, while her hands continued to shake.
"B, you okay, you don't seem so well? Why are your hands shaking?"
"Stop changing the fucking subject and answer me! Why was it so easy, for Damon to do, what he did?"
"I told him I'd tell the club, if he didn't end things. He begged me not to, in his defense. He said, I was making a mistake, but, I felt like he was influencing you. And I didn't trust his reason, so I threatened him, for your protection, if he didn't do it, the weekend of the festival. Which included me saying, I'd tell... Cel." Her hands shook a little more, and she tried concealing it. "B, you look like you need to sit, come on, let's-"
She smacked his hand away from her as he tried directing her to sit. "Don't." She snapped. "How could you? I was happy, for once. I was genuinely..." she put her fist to her mouth and covered her shaking lips, "I was fucking happy, and you couldn't handle it. You couldn't handle that it was.. that it was him. Your brother! Why?" She began to cry. "Or you just couldn't handle that you're not the only one who can put our friendship after a relationship. I mean you've done a lot of fucked up, things. Forgivable, stupid teenage things. Forgivable! BUT THIS?! How could you fucking do this? How fucking DARE YOU?"
"I thought I was protecting you, B. You have to believe me."
"From Damon? He's your brother."
"I realize I fucked up now. I do. It's been eating at me, for the past two months."
"Two fucking months you let me believe he didn't give a fuck about me. You allowed us to just, live hating each other."
"He doesn't hate you."
"Oh even better. You let me live my life hating him. And you watched me feel some type of way and you waited two fucking months, Stefan? What kind of fucked up shit is that?"
"Even though I fucked up. I believe, Damon knows this wouldn't have worked. He knows he needed to let you go, for your protection. And maybe it made him realize-"
"You know what? Shut the fuck up! He looked out for you all those years. I've known him my whole life. My dad was your god father. How could you fucking, do this? I trusted you Stefan. While you were out kissing Elena's ass, and Cel was out drinking his life away, and Vin was caught up in club life, Lexi was leading some secret life, and my momma was trying to come to her senses, Damon was there for me. He didn't have to be. BUT HE WAS! Teaching me how to take care of myself, when no one was around. Teaching me to protect myself, and he was talking to me about things I needed to talk through, helping me through my shit! When every man in my life, was busy with their own priorities, he made me his. And you took that from us? YOU TOOK HIM FROM ME!" She screamed, garnering attention of the few scattered students around them. Her chest was taking in deep breaths to catch her breathing pattern up, as she'd lost her breath speaking without a break. Stefan watched the anger in her face, and listened to the sound of her voice, in pain, as she finally took a breath. "You have any idea how hard it is for me to trust anyone, and you took it from me with him. I can't trust him now! Because of you. You, Stefan-Antonio-fucking-Salvatore! You took the thing, most special to me and destroyed it. It broke my heart, Stefan."
"B, I promise I thought I was protecting you. Regardless of it all, yours and his relationship is dangerous, and he knows it. At the end of the day I swear to God I did it for you. I swore I'd always protect you and that's what I did!"
SLAP!
"Don't you dare." She snared after she carried her small hand across his face, and let tears stream down her cheeks as she listened to his emission. As the words stung her skin, and she felt them burn her body, she delivered the only temporary resolution she could.
She hit him.
Stefan face turned immediately red and he tried to conceal his emotion for all the fire he felt in her hand as it slapped him. He could feel her anger and her pain and it hit him in more ways than one. He felt the rift in their friendship tear further, and it brought emotions to him. Then she shoved him hard enough to make him stumble backwards. "Go!"
"Bonnie Jade... I am sorry. I love you, and I- I never meant, for you to be hurt. I didn't think of the consequences, and I instantly regretted it, when I saw how hard he took it. He was a wreck. He, IS still a wreck. He's destroying himself. I get it. I fucked up. I didn't realize how much you two cared about each other. But let's just think about what could happen if everyone around out… He's Savage Sal. You would be caught up in some shit you can't control. And he can't control everything. This life is not… easy."
"I'm your best friend. I was happy. You took that from me."
"B… I-"
"Ya know, Stefan Salvatore... you can be a real assholes sometimes. And I've always forgiven you. But right now, I need you to stay away from me. Stay far, far the fuck away. You lying, hypocrite, bastard, King piece of shit. I want nothing to do with you!" She said, fuming through her eyes, ear, and nostrils. "I remember you once told me, if you died not to come to your funeral. Well, if I die, please, don't come to my funeral." She walked away, headed to her car. The second bell rang and she couldn't even sit through a lecture right now, or a detention for being tardy.
He stood there watching the down fall of his friendship, spiral into an abyss of blackness. He slipped into a hole he couldn't get himself out of with her.
…...
"Rose, I need you to come to the club house."
"I can't."
"Why? It's been over a week. You're ass has been avoiding my calls. You know why I'm calling, yet, you act like you can just-"
"Fuck you, Sal. I'm sick of his shit. I'm so fucking over it." Rose's voice shook as she spoke, when she cut him off. Her mind wasn't capable of going to battle with such a strong personality, like Damon's right now. Tough girls are capable of, faltering in times of a low and exhausted state-of-mind.
"Over what! You fucking stole from me!"
Quickly, Rose hung the phone up in his face. Damon stare at the phone and called her back. Called once, called, twice. No answer. Third time, was gonna be his limit. When the phone rang, she answered it on the first ring, the third time.
"What? Fuck!"
He stood there with his jaws tightening, trying to hold his composure. Slowly, he took a deep breath and spoke. "You've already made me say too much over the phone. Get your ass here, or I swear I will find you."
"I can't. I can't. I'm busy."
"Rose. You have til three."
Click.
He hung up on her. Then he shut his phone off, not giving her a chance to make any excuses.
"Fuuuuuuuuuck." She'd never said 'no' to him. She'd never decided to disagree with him, or go against him. But her face was swollen, and her mental space, was shaken. She'd not left her apartment for days, except to go get a stitches on an undisclosed area of her body.
She slowly walked into the shower afraid to let the water touch her bruised up skin. But she smelled, like fear and reclusion, and it didn't help, she'd numbed herself with heroine.
...
Bonnie sat outside of the MC for a while. After driving for an hour, thinking, crying, and talking to herself, rationalizing the situation. The news Stefan shared with her with she'd some light on Damon's behavior. And his sudden remorse, which felt like head games, now felt like a possible truth. His harsh wording, his cold tones, his disconnection, the night he ended things, had to do with the threat Stefan gave Damon. She realized Lexi must've been brought up, as well as Laz. Damon took her late father's opinions and possible concerns, if he were still here, seriously. Last but not least, the threat of telling his best friend, was what possibly made Damon go through with it.
But just hearing it from Stefan's mouth wasn't enough. She needed absolute confirmation that he wasn't playing mind games with her, just for the sake of his possessive tendencies towards her, and her nativity. Because whether she admitted it out loud or not, Bonnie was intimidated by Damon's experience, and age over her lack of experiences, and her naivety.
After an hour of analyzing, her thoughts, and trying to sort and separate them from her emotions, she took a leap, and reached out. She called Damon's phone repeatedly. Several times, with no answer. She left no voicemails, and didn't text. She just needed to hear the truth from his mouth. She needed to know she wasn't a mistake. She wanted to hear him say, everything they once had was real, and not feel like he just walked out on her without a second thought like the others. Or like, he made her believe. She wanted to know, it wasn't as easy for him to leave her, as he made her feel it was.
Now, after an hour she stood in front of the club across the street, a little ways down, staring at the entrance from leaning on the hood of her car. No one going in or coming out, just Gino standing there, watching, like he always did. Unless Damon specified otherwise.
After gathering her courage, she walked forward, shaking hands and all. She'd been stressed with the end of school nearing, and trying to mentally prepare to move out of her mother's house, her childhood home. The place her father lived before dying, and the place she learned everything. How to love, how to hurt, how to hate, hide, lie, laugh, cry, and remain in silence, about the abuse she suffered from her brother. Part of her hated having to leave, and part of her knew, she needed to let it all go. Including the house.
Approaching the entrance, with a shallowed out heart, she walked towards Gino. "Baby girl.." he said nervously. "You gotta turn around and leave."
"Gino, I need to see him."
"I can't, I can't let you inside. Your brother is there, Vin, and the other ranking members. It makes sense if you let me deliver a message."
"Oh... okay... umm-" she stopped herself to get her throat clear. "I guess, just tell him I came by. I needed to see- I mean, speak- I mean- never mind." She whispered feeling hollow. Gino looked down at her shaking hands. "I'm gonna go, okay."
"Hey, baby girl, what's wrong. Everything alright?" He grabbed her freezing cold hands and held them inside of his own to warm them up. Bonnie looked dehydrated and unwell. "Here. Come sit down. Right here, on the side of the building, this spot next to the bush covers the camera."
"I can't, I should go-"
"Listen, let me call him." Gino pulled out his phone and dialed Damon's number twice. Straight to voicemail. "I'm going to try and get him out here the best way I can. Sit down, right here." He eased her over to an area to sit, and wait, and he went inside as quickly as possible looking for Damon. No later than he did, a car pulled up outside. A white four door car with tinted windows.
Rose stepped out. But this time, not in her typical getup of a tiny skirt with black boots, a black shirt and leather jacket, with her breast fully pushed up. This time she wore jeans, and boots, with a hooded sweater, and all of her hair down covering her face. Bonnie coughed some more clearing her throat, trying to remain quiet. She waited a minute or so, and when Gino didn't come back out, she got up and walked to the entry way quietly. Gino was nowhere in sight but Rose stood comfortably at the bar with a drink in hand and her hand on the bar stool. Bonnie noticed how at home she felt and looked, and how, normal Rose, 'seemed' to be acting, at the moment. Little did Bonnie know, how Rose was hurting, but, what she saw was a woman who fit in with everybody. To make matters worse, all of the guys walked out from the back and greeted her like she was family. And it was deeply solidified when Damon walked out and pulled her aside, and spoke to her privately.
Bonnie couldn't handle it, mentally. It was too much to look at with the current circumstance.
Her reason for being there no longer mattered. She walked away, seeing how things had appeared to have fallen back into place for Damon. She didn't want to interrupt Damon's life, because as far as she knew it was too little too late. She got back to her car, turned her phone off, and drove off. She didn't want to hear from anyone. She wanted to go to James' house, and forget it all happened.
Forget the conversation and emission of Stefan. Forget Damon was forced to end it. Forget she loved a man who could never love her in return, with her love as his freedom, but instead caged them both into a box of secrecy. It all felt too real. Too painful. And too much for her to want to deal with anymore.
She only wanted one thing right now, and that was to get her anxiety in check. Bonnie had to go back to feeling… nothing. She wanted to turn it all off.
A few seconds later Gino was walking outside with Damon, headed towards Bonnie. "Where the fuck is she?"
"She was just here a couple of minutes ago. On everything. I sat her right off the camera."
"Then where'd she go?" He asked raising his brows.
Gino looked across the way. "Her car is gone."
"Fuck! Why didn't you call me out here?"
"I got your voicemail."
"I turned my fuckin phone off." He said ramming his forehead into the palm of his hand frustrated.
"And I wasn't sure how to get passed the boys. And D, man... she didn't look too good. She was kind of out of it. Hands shaking. She looked tired or sick." Damon rubbed his hands through his hair. "I'm guessing she left because of Rose."
"Fuck! Umm," he took two seconds to think, "Fine, I'll- uhh... I'll call her." Damon said. He felt for his phone which wasn't in his back pocket. He walked around the club house looking for his phone, and when he finally found it in his bunker, he quickly turned it on and tried calling her.
It went straight to voicemail. He called four times and every call went to her voicemail. He noticed all of her missed calls, and also noticed she left no voicemails. "Fuck!" He growled. He couldn't reach her, and if she shut her phone off, the chances she went home, or anywhere he could find her were slim.
"Where you fuckin been?" He said turning to Rose seeing her standing in a corner with her arms crossed.
"Home. Okay. I wasn't feeling well."
"What, you sick, or pregnant, or something? Cause I know, we ain't fucked in months."
"No, I'm not pregnant."
"Well, what the fuck?" He asked trying to sort himself out. He couldn't figure out what to say to her with Bonnie on his mind. "I can't even fuckin… I can't look at you right now. And I can't deal with this shit. I got shit to do today."
"I didn't ask to come here. You told me to."
"My life is too complicated to add this shit to it. Ya know? You have no idea, how you have crippled yourself, Rose."
She became unreasonably emotional and turned away from his ridicule. When she didn't say anything, he stopped and walked to her and pulled her sunglasses off. "What the fuck? Rose… how… did that happen?"
"Nothing."
"Not nothing. Who did that to you?"
"Stop, okay. Stop acting like you give a fuck about me. Because you don't."
"Let's get a couple things clear. One, I don't have to explain why I'm concerned that you look like you got hit on the face by a man. And two, I know you fuckin stole from me, and the only thing saving you, right now… is that." He said pointing to her face. "Who the fuck did that to you?"
She paused for a few seconds, trying to remain balanced and as normal as possible, but when he was growing impatient she started speaking, in a calm hysteric. "I can't tell you. Please. Leave it alone. I… deserved this. I did something-"
"What? Stole from someone?" He asked sarcastically.
"Something like that."
"Rose, what kind of shit… you live so fucked up. I mean, is this something that has to do with your past? Before me?"
"Yeah. A very long time ago."
"Why you were hiding here."
"I wasn't hiding."
"Bullshit. You were secretive about your life before me. You were always nervous in the beginning. You jumped right into this world, like nothing." He shook his head. "Who did this to you?"
"I can't tell you. I'm not a very religious girl, but, honest to God, I can't tell you."
"Wow. You don't trust me? After all I've done for you."
"It's not that. I just, can't, okay." For the first time Damon saw tears, fall from Rose's face.
"Is this person, the reason, you stole from me?"
She nodded her head, and cried quietly. "Yeah."
"You still owe this person."
"Yeah."
"How much?"
"A lot."
Damon looked at his watch and realized there was never enough time in the day, to be him. "Okay. I have shit to do that I can't back out of right now. Stay here and don't leave. I'll be back."
When he left the whiskey alone, and was sober, he stressed about things, he had no control over, and Damon needed full control of everything and everyone he was in charge of. His brother, his club in some instances, Rose, and Bonnie. When he didn't have that control, he worried senselessly about things going wrong, and the dangers surrounding decisions made without his consent.
This is one thing Rose always understood and respected about him, that Bonnie didn't. She didn't like complicating his life, because he had a lot on his plate. She agreed easily, and did what she was told. She, understood how to be what he needed. Her docile adherence to his control, came out of respect for his protection over her. As Damon always said, their friendship was like a business contract.
Bonnie wasn't one who could easily be controlled, because she felt no one loved her more than she could love herself. Rose, didn't think she deserved love. So when Damon offered to be there, help her, take care of her, she accepted it. Rose didn't have enough self love to turn it away. Bonnie had more than enough to push people away.
But, both women were more alike than they wanted to believe. Both too tough for their own good. Both too independent. And, both were broken, by outcomes, they couldn't control, because they controlled less than they believed they did.
Bonnie had the mind to be as reckless as Marcel at times. Both having dealt with addiction issues. His to liquor hers to the quick rush and numbness of cocaine. Both trying to block out the things that hurt too much. And both, relying on those addictions to fill a void, they'd lacked in their lives, stemming from her death of their father.
Damon was worried. He decided to leave the clubhouse and still, check her house, and Caroline's to see if he could find her. He would sadly discover that neither place would house her anxiety right now.
….
"Of all the people, he goes back to her? Seriously? She's… straight trash." She cried to herself. "Club, groupie, BITCH! I can't see it. I don't fuckin see it. I was loyal and real. Sure I wasn't perfect, but I was genuine. I never hid who I was to him, of all people. He got to see me, inside out, and… and the fuckin facts are, she's a slave to the club. He likes that shit. She's not loyal. She's troubled as fuck. She's gonna get him caught up, one day. Well, fuck him. Fuck the club! Fuck Stefan! Fuck this life! Fuck my momma and my Papi, for letting me live this fuckin way! Fuck Cello! For not protecting me from this shit! I'm not enough for any body to want to leave this life behind. This fucking club has taken so much from me, and ALL OF THEM! We've all suffered in some fuckin way!" Bonnie was so angry, and fed up. She screamed in her car, as her tears fled now, from the past two months, plus the additional seventeen years of pain and aggravation. "Why can't love, be enough?" She broke down, letting her head hit her arms on the steering wheel as she slowed her car down. Slobber and tears met her hands in a pool of pain. "I just want to be enough, for someone! For once. I just… want to be enough. Yes I'm strong. Yes I'm tough. I know I'm stubborn, and I fuck up. But, I'm sick of being tough by myself. I just…" she whispered her cries into the palms of her hands on the side of the road, "wanted to be enough. I gave him the only part of myself, that no one but my father had, and it still wasn't enough. I gave him, the one thing I could only give one person, and I chose him."
She finally, after years, let someone see her softness, and her tenderness, something she never wanted to give up easily. And now, she's opened up, and exposed, and feels unprotected. "I give up. Love doesn't love me."
Darkness filtered into her nerves and she just wanted to numb it. Everything around her felt and looked black.
Stopped in the middle of the road crying, she was knocked out of her emotions when a couple passing cars beeped at her. Bonnie, pulled over after driving for five minutes. She opened the door, as the heat got the best of her, nauseating her stomach and rising up inside of her body, she leaned over and threw up on the side of the car. Her body felt a way she'd never felt it feel before. And for the past two weeks all she kept feeling were out of body experiences.
As the cars drove by blowing her hair in her face, causing it to stick to her wet vomit-coated lips, she sat up and closed the door. Her hand gently brushed the hair off her face while the sleeve of her other arm wiped her mouth. "Fuck." She breathed into her palm, feeling exhaustion. Her fingers finally clutched the the steering wheel, and she sighed. The pace of the cars, and sounds of the wind as she sat, made her realize how much of life was flying by her, and she was trying her best to keep up with everything, but exhaustion was taking over. All she could do was start the car, and allow herself to drive towards James house, crying the whole way there.
….
When Bonnie arrived at at his place, he wasn't expecting her. She pulled into the condos and got upstairs not thinking he'd be there. He usually stayed at his house in the hills, unless he had business. When she walked in he was standing with his cell phone on his ear. She could tell he was talking business, getting ready for a meeting.
They made eye contact and didn't speak, because he was on a business call. She nodded her head towards him as she slid off her bright colored Vintage Nike Vandals. Everyone knew she wore Nike custom made or out of stock sneakers. it was kind of a signature of her style. She sat the new Gucci bag he recently bought her, down next to her shoes and walked towards the bathroom as he ended his phone call. When she rinsed her face, she almost didn't recognize herself. And slowly, she turned when she heard a knock at the door.
"Baby doll?"
"Yes."
"I wasn't expecting you today. You okay?"
"Uhh..." she paused. "I didn't think you'd be here. I just needed to get away." She dried her face, then opened the door. "But, honestly, I can leave okay. I just wanted some alone time." Her phone vibrated, and when he heard it he looked at her nervously, as she ignored it.
"No, no. Why would I make you leave? I gave you a key to both of my places, for a reason. But, I thought you'd prefer to get away to the hillside. Where it's quiet, and people are there to wait on you hand and foot."
"No. I just needed a break. Okay. I'm stressed the fuck out. I'm so stressed I'm sick. I can't hardly breath, my hands were shaking a while ago. I just- I can't go to work today, and I wanted to sleep it off."
He looked at her sincerely, and rubbed his fingers along her cheek. "Of course baby. Here, I have something that'll help you sleep." He walked to the cabinet and pulled out some small white pills. "No worries, it's not what you think. Just sleeping pills baby."
"Really?" Her phone vibrated again, and this time he watched her look at it, then take a deep breath and put it in her pocket.
"Hey, everything okay?"
"Uhh, yeah. Yeah. Thank you. I just need a few hours."
"No worries love. You know I'd do anything for you, right?"
"Sure." She looked up at him adoringly.
"I care about you, deeply Bonnie. I just want you to know that." He kissed her and said those words so easily. It didn't feel the same way as when Damon said, but it still felt solid, and comforting, to be loved. "Come on, let's go run you a nice hot shower, and you go ahead and relax in the water. I will be meeting some new business associates in about an hour. So, go ahead and do what you've gotta do. By the time you jump out of the shower, the pills will hit you pretty hard. Just... get in bed and lay down." He cupped her jawline, on both sides, and kissed her again.
"Thank you, James. I don't know what I'd do without you." She closed her eyes upon his kiss and held his wrists as his hands held her face.
"Of course. I'll check on you soon okay. And whatever you do, stay in there okay. When I do business, this isn't a particular group of people I want you involved with."
"I wont be out, I'm too tired. But... I mean, tell me, are you doing something illegal?"
"Love, it's just business." He said. "No worries, okay?" She noticed he didn't really answer the question. "Go get some rest. I'll check on you soon."
"Okay." She bit her lip hesitantly, when he spoke. For the first time, she felt unease with James. Slowly walking back towards the bedroom, she saw a case, which looked to be filled with money, possibly... sitting on his desk. She was too tired to figure it out. She went and showered and got herself relaxed as the pills hit her. She fell right to sleep, and couldn't be woken up by an earthquake.
...
"You sure you got the right address?"
"Bruh, I'm positive."
"This is a condo."
"Yeah, I know... I'm just as confused as you. How the hell are we supposed to get this shit up there?"
Damon stare at Marcel, and back up at the tall building. "Let's go talk to the guy first. I'm sure he's done this before, so we can ask him."
"We can't just leave this shit out here."
"We can park in the visitors garage for now."
"Fine."
...
They stood outside the door of the condo, having rang the bell. It wasn't hard to get to him. No crazy security, frisking them, or taking ID's. Marcel's hands were sweating a bit, and Damon elbowed him, "You cool?"
"I'm good. Just- damn, this is new and I'm just hoping we don't fuck it up."
"We won't." Damon laughed. "Surprised you care, thought you hated you're new step dad!" Damon laughed.
"Fuck you Sal. He ain't no fuckin "step" shit of mine. In fact, I'm gone prove to him, I can do this shit with my eyes closed, because I can tell by the way he looks at me, he thinks I'm a fuck straight up."
"You came to the meeting late, the day the club met him. Of course he thinks you're a fuck up. But don't prove shit to him, Cel prove to yourself you can do this shit."
"I'm cool, bruh... I just want to get this shit over with-" the door opened, and a tall debonair, very wealthy, dirty blonde hair man with eyes near the blue of Damon's, but not quite as crystal clear as Damon's, opened it. He had a dirty blonde, neatly trimmed goatee, and wore what looked to be a suit as expensive as could be expected for having lived in this condominium. Light grey with a white shirt.
"Good afternoon fellas." He said, making them first note how polite he was.
"Afternoon." Damon said, elbowing Marcel, into speaking too.
"Umm, yeah, hello."
"I'm West." He held a hand out. "And you?"
"Sal."
"Cel."
"Sal and Cel. Interesting." He grinned, entertained by the idea at their names sounded the same. Damon felt an eerie connection to him, but was unclearly able to define it. Damon didn't hang around his types, he robbed them.
He didn't look like a man who bought drugs, sold them, or even used them. He was crisp, clean, and white as ivory. His skin was evenly tanned, so they knew he vacationed a lot. But Damon knew instantaneously, he was a privileged looking, wealthy, white collar, Caucasian, success story. The types they didn't deal with. From his skin to his golden locks, to his absolutely white teeth, and even his fingers nails looked manicured.
The man smiled, and moved extending his arm. Damon waited for Marcel to walk inside, before he followed. Marcel tried not to look awestruck as he entered the condo. It was immaculately organized and expensive. Everything was either white or gold. Including his Rolex, which had to be around ten stacks, Damon noted to himself mentally. Even the man's suit looked like it was being worn by a store mannequin. Damon's blue eyes fell causally over everything the man owned. Damon, a natural born, neighborhood, lower-class, troublemaker, was a thief. A Robin Hood-type. He could easily rob this man, as good as he was at what he did, and make enough money to feed the neighborhood for a year.
"Fellas, come in. I hope you don't mind my asking you to remove your shoes. The carpet is very... sensitive to the slightest bit of dirt."
"Yeah no problem. Cel, I hope you wore you're good socks." Damon joked.
"Nigga, shut up." Marcel snarled.
"No worries. I won't judge." The very tall, six foot four man laughed. Marcel had on black air force ones, and Damon had on combat type boots. While Marcel was able to slide his shoes off without looking down, Damon had to lean over and loosen his strings. Though, they were already worn loosely, they laced up pretty high. When he lifted his jeans which slightly hung on the top of his ass with his white boxers underneath, he bent over taking a large pause. "Right this way guys. I know it's a long hallway, but we will be cutting to the right in a second. My office is three doors down."
Marcel walked after James, while Damon remained paused bent over, looking at the pair of Nikes on the floor. He'd only seen one other person wear those shoes in that color. Or even that style. He noticed the Gucci bag next to it, that he hadn't seen before, but recognized the brand and style, as similar to one person's. He grabbed the shoe, to check the size, and just as he did, the man walked back out, watching him.
"Ahem. Everything okay."
"What? Oh, sorry. I uhhh... I like this style of shoes. Just, checking them out."
"Oh, yeah... kinda "cool" I guess." He quoted. "Or as she says, 'legit.' I don't know. My girlfriend loves those shoes. I try to buy her classier attire, but she's kind of, what does she call herself? Oh, "low key," and I have to actually buy her clothes and shoes, because she won't take my money."
That sounded all too familiar to Damon.
"Yeah, well... it's a rare style of Nikes. They are considered vintage because they've been discontinued."
"Hmm, never thought to ask her. Guess that's why she likes them. I mean, I don't understand most twenty-somethings these days." When he said that, Damon exhaled a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He knew Bonnie was seventeen. They had to be talking about two different women, right? He had to make himself believe that this wasn't James.
"So, uhh... what's your name again bro?"
"Well, my business acquaintances call me Mr. West. But you can just call me West." Damon couldn't remember James full name. But he didn't recall West.
"Oh. Okay. Well, West, sorry, it takes a while to get my boots off."
"It's okay. Just meet us in the office."
"Sure." Damon watched him walk away, and then checked the shoes size. He sarcastically thanked Nike for always making sure their size tag was in a position, he had to literally, loosen the laces go check, on the inner side of the shoe. As he loosened the laces, he searched for the size US 7.0 UK 5.5 it read. It was her shoe size. He thought to search the purse, and find an ID. But he couldn't risk this deal or his identity, and this money for the club, in case it wasn't her. He couldn't get caught searching her bag, and as Marcel looked out and called his name, Damon thought to slide the second foot out of the shoe.
"Sal, bro let's go."
"Ayy, you should probably ask him how he wants me to get that shit up here."
"Oh right." Marcel disappeared for about a minute and walked back out. "He said we'll talk logistics later, let's handle the transaction first."
Damon stood up walking slowly back towards the office, checking around with his periphery for Bonnie. He couldn't be sure this was the right man, but he had a strong idea this was James. He heard the echo of laughter as he approached the office. "So, as I mentioned, I don't clean at all. It's spotless because my girlfriend cleans it."
"Wow, you got it like that?" Marcel asks. "I take it her allowance is like a salary."
"Oh, no. I don't ask her to clean, she just does. She stresses out... ya know, she gets in these modes where she's none stop like a rabbit. She over works herself, and then she crashes and burns. I wish I could get her to sit sometimes. Which is why I only see her a few times a week." He sighed. "Anyways, Ramblers, let's get ramblin." Again, his pleasant demeanor was hard to read. That catch phrase, was familiar, but Damon ignored it, trying to figure out how to put things together that might not have needed to go together. "So, as I mentioned we can handle the logistics later. Right now, I need to make a couple things clear."
"Yeah, wasup?" Marcel asked, clapping his hands at his crotch area, in front of his body as his fingers interlocked. Damon looked on, with a concentrated stare he got, when he was overthinking things.
"Well, I'm the middle man, okay. Been working with my partner a while. I handle the business end of things, he rations that shit out. I don't sell. I buy. I've got here, for you, half a mill. Your boss, Cade, wants a fifty percent profit turn around. But I can get near a hundred."
"How?"
"My partner sells internationally. Austria, Switzerland, and Ireland."
"The fuck?"
"True story. Matter-of-fact, I can get a near four hundred percent turn around."
"Where?" Marcel grew overly intrigued.
"Cel, kick back, your asking too much." Damon warned.
The man smiled. "No, no. He's fine. My girlfriend took a couple Ambien. I hate talking this shit around her. Ya know? I do business and I don't want her involved."
"Ambien?" Damon asked.
"Yeah, sleeping pills. See, she came in highly distraught today. Don't tell me I'm the only man who does that?"
"Does what?"
James relaxed a bit and became frank with the two men.
"Listen, can I get personal? I like to get to know the men I do business with. Trust. You understand." He smiled. "It's how we build. Can I trust you fellas?"
"Sure." Marcel said. James looked at Damon, for an answer.
"If I'm being honest, I can't say that. I'm just, a middle guy here." Damon admitted takinJames line.
James laughed. "Ahhh, hahaha. I like you two. Seriously. I do." He shook his head, laughing it off. "Anyway, she came in distraught. Beautiful girl, over works herself, drives herself into the ground." He went on and on speaking with his hands. "I could tell she'd been crying for a while. Her face puffy, her eyes red. What do I do, ya know? I'm a man, who just wants to see the woman I love smile. I couldn't figure out how to put a smile on her face today. So, I gave her a couple pills to sleep it off. I mean she wakes up rested, and happy, and we both win. Am I wrong?"
Love? Damon thought. He loves her? He made a face to himself, and squinted his eyes at the notion.
"Hell naw." Marcel said. "Sometimes my lady is uptight, and I just have to fuck her. I mean, it calms us botn down."
"Yeah, but, our relationship is not based on sex. You see?" Damon looked further into James' words. "She's a different kind of girl. Smart, yet, emotional. She's vibrant and spontaneous. We have a close bond and she's really special to me, and seeing her upset, upsets me. But, I also have a wife, and I just, learn that with women, it's easier to just give, give, give. Whatever they want, they get. Keeps life easy for me, and them."
"So, they know about each other?"
"And no. What do I look like?" He chuckled. "A sadist? Well, actually, I am a sadist. But, that's beside the point. I love my girlfriend. She's the ray of sun to my grey sky."
"And your wife?"
"She's the mother of my children. And, you can say… we have an open marriage. So, yes she knows I have a girlfriend, but my girlfriend doesn't know I have a wife. She would hate me." James rubbed his chin. Damon looked at him, and thought to pocket every word into his memory. "Make sense? I give my wife money, and beautiful children, the life she always dreamed of, and she shuts the fuck up about how I live my life. I fuck who I want. Take who ever I want on vacations. Give who I want what I want and when." He laughed. "I'm the bread winner. She just sits on her million dollar wardrobe, and all the money she could need, our children in private schools, lavish cars, plush lifestyle, and expensive vacations. What can she say?"
"Wow. I never thought I'd live in a world where a man has a mistress, who doesn't know, about the wife, that knows about her."
"Your wife knows and your girlfriend doesn't? That's some white people shit! No offense."
James gasped.
"Sorry. Excuse my partner." Damon said.
"No. No. It's funny. White people shit?" He repeated in a bout of laughter. "I gotta tell my wife that one."
Damon was weirded out and slightly on edge. Trying to conceal it with confidence. Which he lacked in the moment. "Listen fellas, when you have money like me, and anything you could possibly want. You GET EXACTLY what you want. Beautiful women throw themselves at me every day. I've had so much pussy, I could give Wilt Chamberlain a run for his money. Hell, I could have so many babies, if I didn't pay all that hush money." His humor didn't beseech Damon's desires for commonality. And Damon wasn't amused. "Oh God. That was in poor taste. I'm sorry. It was a joke. Okay. I apologize. It was unprofessional."
"It's all good bruh. We just, not used to doing business with collars like you."
"Collars?"
"Suit and tie types."
"Oh. Well, we all have a little suit and tie in us, when the need arises. Don't think suit and tie guys haven't gotten their hands dirty before. Sometimes we start at the bottom." He admitted. "Anyways, We can talk more about my personal life later. The point in mentioning all of that was to show you, how I can make you enough money, I won't have to explain my life to you. You'll soon see for yourself."
"We don't make any decisions alone."
"You're right. I apologize. Where are my manners? Sorry, anyways... she's in there asleep, and we can discuss business. As I was saying, my international revenue, is quite impressive. Where a gram of coke here is about sixty bucks, in Australia is damn near the equivalent of about two-forty."
"You serious?"
"No shit?"
"Well, yeah. And, I have people all over."
"Okay, well, how the hell do you know all these people?"
"I'm a business investor. I invest all over the world. And I meet a lot of people. A have some clients in Australia willing to buy this for near two mill."
"Okay, let's do that. Shit, you ain't gotta tell me twice."
"Cell, shut the fuck up. We are just running this shit, we aren't making decisions. That's Danzig's job."
"Why wouldn't he want to fuckin make four times the money? I'm sorry, but I'm about that money, and-"
Damon cut Marcel off. "Cel, stop. This decision is Danzig's."
"And we make five percent of this deal. I'd rather have five percent of two mill than five percent of half a mill."
Damon looked at his lost friend, who's business etiquette was horrible, and back to James. "Listen, it ain't our call to make. So, you have to take that up with our boss. We are, like you said, just the middle men."
"Right. Well, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't try." He offered that boyish grin. "Here, is my number. I don't want to come between you and your boss, but if things don't work out. Give me a call. Besides, as of now, I hear he gets some of the purest shit. So, I give it to him for that. We first met months ago, made a small transaction through uhh, the smiley guy, Vincent."
"Vince?"
"Yeah. Black guy with the cool hair cut. Anyways, Danzig's gems are high grade shit. Purest crystals I've ever seen."
"You've tried it?"
"We all have to try it sometime." James said. Damon remembered, tasting Bonnie's months ago, remembering how high quality it was. Too much was adding up in the wrong way right now, and he needed to get out of there and call Bonnie, again. Though her phone had been off all day.
"Yeah, well, half a mill sounds about right. You've worked out with your boss, when you'll have the rest?"
"Yes. We have spoken. Anyways, you two men want to make more money, you give me a call. I'm not afraid to take leaps. Cade is a much more cautious business man. Which is perfectly fine. As, we are newer acquaintances in recent months, and this will be a first grand venture, together. I may be able to sway him."
"Maybe we can work something out with him." Marcel said.
"Well, maybe you two gentlemen will be able to help aide the cause. You think you're a good talker?" James asked looking at Marcel.
"Marcel can sell salt to the ocean." Damon said. "But, uhh, we should head out."
"Sure, here is you're currency."
Damon reached for the case. "Thank you. Oh," he paused, "how are we to deliver this up?"
"It won't be coming up. I have my SUV downstairs, in the garage, you can do the exchange there. The white Escalade, with heavily tinted windows. All the seats are laid down " He tossed Marcel the keys. "The key is yours. Every delivery will be with those keys. I have the second set. If I'm not here in the future, this is how we will work. I'm usually around, but for whatever reason if I'm not, I'll leave the currency in the vehicle.
"Seriously? Is that safe? What about security cameras and people?"
"I own this building. I run security. And everyone that lives in this building, works for me. So..."
"J Gate towers, is, your condos?"
"Certainly. All twenty-five floors. And my security already knows who you two are. So, they'll keep it tight as you make the merchandise transfer."
Damon and Marcel both widened their eyes in shock. And suddenly, he understood what Bonnie saw in this guy. A guy who was pretty hard to hate. He was friendly, and maybe too trusting. But, this could be why he was successful, or maybe, he just killed people who betray him. Damon had never met such a wealthy man that was so, friendly, without knowing he had a dark past.
Still, this may very well be the man who got Bonnie addicted to drugs, and that was enough to hate him, in Damon's book. "Okay, well... we need to go." Damon said. As they walked out he hated the idea of leaving her there, but he had to be careful. This may not be the man. Every step he made from here on out, was a dangerous one. And Bonnie could be the casualty if he wasn't cautious.
"See you fellas soon." He walked them out and after putting shoes on, they headed to the garage.
"That shit was weird. He had no visible security at his door, what so ever."
"Rich mutha fuckas are different. The people who live here, would question that shit."
"Nah. It was just weird as fuck. Someone like that, has no security at the door."
"We just didn't see them. But they were there, Cel. Believe me. We're being watched. So just act cool and do our job so we can get back to the club house."
"Five hunnit stacks. I'm done son. That's a good little payout. But two mill. Bruh you know what this can mean for our families?"
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We have another two months to decide if we are gonna stay in this direction. Me personally. I don't want this for the club. Fuck the money."
"Says you. These guys need this. Two about to get evicted. A few including myself are paying fines and shit. And now you. Getting arrested, didn't help shit, for you. My moms house, I'm gone help B pay it. My baby momma needs a house for her and my son. And I need to give Gia a better life, than I have. So, my vote is for the money. And that's what we need to focus on."
But Damon couldn't focus on anything now, but the high danger zone position he and Bonnie were both in. He stare at Marcel, regretfully unable to mention anything to him about Bonnie, and even James. He needed to dial down his efforts, and work alone on this. And that starts with talking to Bonnie first and foremost.
555-986-8774: WE NEED TO TALK ASAP
555-986-8774: CALL ME
555-986-8774: 911
555-986-8774: BABY PLZ. I SWEAR TO GOD I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU
555-986-8774: I KNOW YOU FUCKIN HATE ME
555-986-8774: BUT IM BEGGING, BABY GIRL
555-986-8774: PLZ
555-986-8774: ILL BE WAITING
555-986-8774: B, Plz
Damon didn't typically beg.
But he changed a lot of his rules, when it came to her.
….
James heard Bonnie's phone keep buzzing as he went to check on her. She was dead to the world, and laying on her stomach with her arms to her side, except the one hanging off the side of the bed. Her hair was in a bun, but slightly messy. She smelled like freshness, and oils. Her snores were soft, but prevalent, and in the pitch black room, her phone lit up the darkness again. This prompted James to check the front screen to see why.
There, more than a handful of texts were coming in back to back with no assigned name. But he could tell it was, said man who Bonnie frequently became stressed over. It was everything he didn't want to see, but enough to make him realize he needed to make her forget about that man. He slid the messages across the screen, and cleared them disabling her alert to see it when she woke up. Now, When she wakes up, she won't see that he messaged her unless she randomly checked his text without being prompted to.
In the back of his mind he thought to read and responded but he didn't know her phone passcode. And if she found out he violated her trust, he knew she'd be unforgiving. He watched her sleep, and turned her phone completely off. She didn't need any interruptions from anyone, who was going to disrupt hers and his, relationship moving forward.
At any costs.
A little bit of everything happened. Bonnie finally found out about Stefan. She tried to go find out the truth from Damon but... she was thrown off by seeing Rose. Whos atttling her own demons. The whole episode in Bonnie's car was important, and it will open up to a couple dark chapters to come for Bonnie. Then Damon and Marcel meeting James and, Damon thinking he saw Bonnies shoes. How do you think that first meeting went and from here on out I'm sure the predictions are confusong. All of the small details of this chapter mattered. But again this is one of my favorote chapters and I hope you enjoyed it