Chapter Thirty-Seven

~Milly~

I had never seen pain like I saw in Ralofs eyes when we arrived in Riverwood. The trip had been long. And wet. I looked down at myself in disgust. My boots and the bottom of my beautiful green dress were caked in muck and every manner of ick. Ralof looked like he had aged ten winters in a week. His blue eyes were sunk in, dark circles under them. His hair was a snarled, unkept mess and his head hung low, declaring loudly that he was broken.

It was already dark when we arrived, the journey longer because we had set out on foot. In his own way, Ralof was prolonging the inevitable. Slowly, he led me to a small house. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. The sound of his knuckles wrapping on the door cut the air like a knife. I heard some footsteps and the door was thrown open.

"Ralof dear! How good to see you!" A beautiful Nord woman stood in the doorway, the light from inside the house illuminating her sandy blond hair.

"'Lo Sigrid. May we come in?" Ralof asked quietly.

"Of course, come in, come in. Who is your friend?" Sigrid said, stepping aside so we could pass.

"This is Milly. She's Arryns maid." Ralof explained.

"Oh! Well hello Milly. It's a pleasure to meet you." Her warm brown eyes looked me over.

"Hello." I said shyly.

"Where is Arryn? Off with Hadvar?" Sigrid asked Ralof. "Not getting into too much trouble I hope?"

Ralof flinched. "Is Alvor home?" He asked. Sigrids smile faltered.

"Yes? What's wrong Ralof?" She asked.

"Could you get Alvor please?" Ralof asked quietly.

"Yes. Of course." She swept out of the room, and soon voices could be heard. She returned with a man who looked a bit like Hadvar. His uncle I presumed.

"What's going on lad?" He asked Ralof in a deep voice.

Ralof swallowed, struggling to find the words. I lay a reassuring hand on his arm. He took a deep breath and said, "Alvor, Sigrid, I'm here to..." He broke off, choking back a sob.

"Where is my nephew?" Alvor demanded, his voice rising.

"He's gone." Ralof whispered miserably.

"Gone? What do you mean gone?" Sigrid asked, tears already forming in her eyes.

"He's... Died. Hadvar is dead." Ralof gasped out, tears streaming down his face.

"No!" Sigrid wailed. "Not Hadvar. Not our boy." She looked at her husband, whose face was stony.

"I'm so sorry." Ralof whimpered. Alvor pulled his wife to him, trembling.

"How?" Alvor whispered gruffly.

"We were down in a cave." Ralof said, wiping the tears from his face. "He fell. And then he was gone. I couldn't save him. Talos knows I tried. You have to know I tried!" He said plaintively.

Sigrids wails were muffled by her husbands chest. "Do you have... His body?" Alvor asked, flinching at his own words.

"We couldn't reach it." Ralof admitted, broken.

"Thank you for coming lad." Alvor said after a moment.

"I'm so sorry. So sorry." Ralof whispered.

"I'm sorry for your loss lad. He loved you." Alvor said, holding out his arm. Ralof moved forward to accept the embrace.

"I loved him." Ralof choked out. "More than anything."

I felt out of place in that moment. The people before me were lost in their grief and I was helpless to ease their pain. My heart ached for them. We were all startled by a loud pounding on the door.

"Allow me." I said awkwardly, reaching for the door. It was pulled open before I reached it however.

Arryn stood before me, breathing heavily.

"Ral. No." He gasped.

"Arryn? What's wrong?" Sigrid asked, moving towards him. He held up his hand.

"Sigrid!" He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself.

"Give me a moment!" A voice called.

"Arryn are ya alright?" I asked quietly. He looked half mad.

"Yes. More than actually." He said with a wide smile.

With a loud clomping noise, a man stepped through the door, a smile on his face.

We all stared at him, my shock mirrored on the faces of my present company.

"Hadvar?!" I near screamed. Sigrid flew at him and threw her arms around him, wailing his name. Alvor joined her, though more quietly.

"What in Oblivion is goin on?" I screeched.

"We tried to catch you. Hadvar made it home this afternoon." Arryn said happily. He beamed at his friend.

"Ya said he was dead." I said, completely confused.

"More lost and broken than dead actually." Hadvar told me with a grin, pointing to his leg. It was in a poorly constructed splint. His uncle released him before his aunt did. He muttered something to Arryn and they walked past Ralof, into the kitchen. Sigrid followed a few moments later.

I glanced at Ralof. He was standing so silently, tears shining in those beautiful blue eyes. He couldn't tear his eyes from Hadvar, his lower lip trembling. I resisted the urge to hug him. He looked so lost.

Hadvar noticed this around the same time I did. "Ral?" He asked uncertainly. Ralof let out a noise that sounded halfway between a strangled howl and a sob. He crossed the room and collapsed to his knees, throwing his arms around Hadvars waist. His shoulders shook violently as he sobbed into Hadvars hip.

"Ralof. Shhhh." Hadvar soothed, stroking Ralofs hair gently. "It's alright love."

"Hadvar." Ralof breathed out, rising to his feet.

"I'm here." Hadvar assured him with a smile.

Ralof kissed him then. The ferocity of that kiss almost took my breath away. He brought his hands up to hold Hadvars face. After a moment, Hadvar returned his enthusiasm. My face flushed with embarrassment from interrupting such a personal moment.

"Never again." Ralof declared, pulling back, resting his forehead against his loves forehead. "You're never leaving my sight again."

"I love you Ral." Hadvar said, a silly smile on his face. He kissed Ralof again, his hand on the back of Ralofs head.

I couldn't bear it any longer and excused myself. I walked outside, unsure of what emotion was stronger. Embarrassment or jealousy? I was so lost in thought I ran smack into someone.

"Oh! 'M so sorry!" I yelped, looking up at the man I head crashed into. "Avulstien?" I asked, recognizing the mountain of a man.

"Well hello Little Maid!" He laughed. "You disappeared from Whiterun so quickly, I thought I had scared you off!"

I grinned up at him, my hand on my hip. "Me? Scared? Never. Would take more than a handsome face!" I teased.

"I've missed you Milly." He said, his eyes softening.

"I'm sure." I scoffed, rolling my eyes. My heart was pounding in my chest. He had been thinking about me?

"I have!" He protested with a laugh. "What are you doing in Riverwood? All alone?" He asked.

"No. I came here with Ralof, and we met up with Arryn." I told him. A strange expression crossed his face so quickly, I wasn't sure if I had imagined it or not.

"The Dragonborn is here?" He asked.

"He's with Alvor and his family right now." I said with a shrug. "What are you doing in Riverwood?" I asked.

"Just visiting a friend. But I much prefer your company Little Maid." He said with a smile. He moved closer and my heart began to pound wildly again.

"I should be getting back now!" I blurted out.

He looked disappointed for a moment. Then he smiled. "May I see you again soon?" He asked.

"Perhaps." I whispered, staring up at him. He leaned down and kissed me softly, his lips feeling rough.

"I look forward to it." He said, looking smug. I swallowed, turned and ran. I didn't care if I looked a fool. I bolted through the door to Alvor and Sigrids home, slamming it behind me. I leaned back against it.

"Milly what's wrong?" Arryn asked, peering at me from the doorway of the kitchen. He looked concerned, and I felt foolish. Behind him, Sigrid, Alvor, Ralof and Hadvar sat around a sturdy wooden table. Ralof had his hand atop of Hadvars, resting on the table.

I plastered a smile to my face. "Oh nothing. Just got spooked is all. Monsters lurkin in the dark ya know." I joked. He grinned at me.

"Would you care for some ale Milly?" Sigrid called to me.

"That'd be lovely." I called back, meaning it.