Shower Therapy and Unfit Mothers

Renesmee POV

MORE DEPRESSION. I KNOW I KNOW, YOU GUYS ARE TIRED OF IT BUT THINGS HAVE TO GET WORSE BEFORE THEY GET BETTER. YOU GUYS KNOW THAT. SO ANYWAY....

ENJOY....

It all belongs to SM.

I was awake but I kept my eyes closed because I could hear Aunt Rose's voice reading to me. It soothed me to hear her bell like tone that was so calming and beautiful.

My body felt well rested and I could tell that I had just gone through something but it wasn't anything painful. I was just a little tired. I guess that came with a delivery, especially with triplets. I still can't believe I had three children. Three children to take home and play with, raise to become adults and watch them grow. How was this even possible? A year ago, children weren't even a possibility and now I had three.

I continued to hear Aunt Rose's voice and I think she was reading The Great Gatsby but I wasn't sure. I slowly opened my eyes to see the same hospital room that I gave birth in. I could tell that it was morning by the way the soft sun was trying to peek through the clouds and the birds were happily chirping outside. It was a perfect day; no rain, no storms.

"Are you up?" Rose leaned over to me.

"Yeah." I said and my voice was harsh from lack of use.

She handed me some water, which I drank quickly and then set it down on the table next to the bed. I sat up by myself and was surprised at how much strength I had. How long have I been sleeping?

"What's today?" I asked her.

"You were asleep for two days so it's the thirtieth."

"Wow. No wonder I'm not really tired."

"That's good. We were worried that you might be too excited to sleep so Carlisle sedated you." She smiled.

"Where is everyone?" I asked as I looked around.

"Everyone's still here."

"After two days? That's weird. Why didn't they go home?"

"Well…we've been worried about you." She moved some hair out of my face.

"Where's Jacob?"

"Bella went to go get him." She got up from her seat and gave my forehead a kiss, "It's going to be alright." She whispered and smiled sadly before floating out of the room.

What the hell was that about?

I felt something turning in my stomach and I didn't feel very well if I thought about it but I chalked it up to lack of food. Come to think of it, I haven't eaten in a couple of days and then the fact that I just delivered three babies might have something to do with it.

I ran my hand over my stomach and was shocked.

"What the hell?" I pulled the sheet back and instead of seeing my swollen abdomen, I saw the toned muscles that I had before I got pregnant.

"Are you serious?" I said in awe. Could I really be this lucky? Could I really just snap back to my old weight without even trying?

I was crying as I thought about all the clothes I could fit into again and didn't even want to think about how this was possible. My hormones were still a little out of whack but I knew they would go back to normal with time. Regular human women took forever to lose baby weight but mine was gone just like that. I guess it had something to do with my genes but I wasn't going to question it.

Two minutes later, I smelled Jacob's woodsy scent and got excited. He poked his head in my room with a tired face and sad smile.

"Hey babe. How are you feeling?" He came and gave me a small kiss.

"Good."

"You slept a long time. You look well rested."

"I am but you don't'." He had purple circles under his eyes indicating his lack of sleep, "Why are you so tired?" I traced the lines of his face.

"Long couple of days. You don't look tired at all." He said as he checked me over.

"I am and I lost all my weight. Look." I pointed to my slim body and his eyes bugged out.

"What the hell kind of exercise regiment were you on?"

"I don't know." I shrugged, "I just…snapped back." I said happily.

"Well you look good." He gave me another kiss. He looked like he wanted to say something but was prolonging it.

"Can I see the babies? How are they?" I asked excitedly. I was finally going to see them after my two day absence. Did they even know who I was? I hoped so.

"Uh….well how about we wait a little while." Jacob suggested and his forehead crinkled, "Let's get a shower and then Doc is going to come talk to us."

"Why? Is everything alright?" My mind went to the worst place imaginable. What was going on?

Jacob closed his eyes, "Let's just get a shower first. We both need one and then…I'll explain everything." I noticed that Jacob looked like shit in the same clothes he was in when we got here and his face was unshaven. It looked like he hadn't eaten in awhile either.

"Is it…bad?" my eyes were tearing up, my hormones beginning to get the best of me.

"Yeah." He whispered.

"Which one?" My face was covered in water at this point.

"Jonathan but we're doing everything we can Nessie. Let's take care of you first before we get into all of this."

"I want to know." I said firmly.

"He's sick Ness."

"How sick?" My voice cracked.

"Doc can explain it better than I can. Please let me take care of you first." He pleaded.

I nodded silently and Carmen came in to unhook me from my IV.

Part of me wanted to run towards that maternity ward and see what was going on with my babies but another part of me knew that I had to make sure I was ok before doing anything else. I knew that Grandpa wanted to give me a final check up so I knew it would be awhile before I was able to see Jonathan, Elena and Anthony. I hoped they were doing alright but Jacob's precious words told me that something bad was going on.

Jacob led me towards the private bathroom in the room and I knew I had to take care of myself before I saw my babies. They needed a strong mother so I was going to get myself together and then go see them. I wiped my tears and mentally prepared myself for the worse.

Jacob raised the lever to make the shower spray. The shower had glass see through doors, the glass blurred so anyone looking in from the outside wouldn't see every detail of the one showering.

The shower water running hot behind us, Jacob started to undo the tie of my hospital gown. There was nothing sexual about the way he was touching me. It was pure love and adoration. I noticed that his hands were trembling slightly but he took deep breaths to calm himself.

"Jacob, can you please tell me what's going on?" I asked.

"After we shower and get some food in us. Everything's going to be alright."

The hospital gown fell to the floor and I turned to look at Jacob's face. Instead of saying anything, I pulled his face to mine for a kiss. Once again, it wasn't anything sexual but I wanted Jacob to know that I was here and we were going to make it through whatever was going on.

"Jacob, when was the last time you slept?" I asked as I looked at his tired face.

"I got a few hours last night. Don't worry about me. How are you doing?"

I was surprisingly well. It seemed like my body didn't even realize I just spent nine months carrying children. My stomach was gone, the soreness in my back and feet was gone, I was slim and I didn't feel heavy anymore. I was getting tired from standing on my feet for so long but I knew I would get my stamina back with time.

"I'm fine Jacob." I gave him a small smile for reassurance.

I kissed him again and my fingers slowly moved his shirt up his stomach, taking my time. I wanted to care for him as well because I knew he was tired just like I was. Finally, I lifted the shirt up over his head, letting his large, muscular arms slip out of the sleeves as I peeled it completely off of his body, placing it down on the counter behind me.

Neither one of us spoke as I moved my lips away from his mouth, moving them to his shoulder, kissing them softly as I tried to soothe the tension from his body.

"Please let me take care of you Nessie." It sounded like he was about to crack and I knew that these past few days must have been hell on him. He needed comfort.

"I'm fine Jacob. It's your turn." I said truthfully. We weren't going to have sex because my body was in no way ready for that and I was so focused on my babies that I wouldn't have enjoyed it but I wanted Jacob to feel wanted as well. I was going to take care of him.

I circled his wrists with my tiny hands, holding them at his sides, and they barley fit. He could have broken my hold in an instant but his resolve was crumbling. I moved my kisses down his body, from his neck to his pecs, from his pecs to his stomach. I opened his jeans while I was on my knees before him, unzipping and gently pulling them down to his ankles, and then his boxers, too.

I stood up and held his hand as he stepped out of his clothes, now completely naked for me.

I went into the shower first and pulled him with me. I noticed that all our showering things were there. Someone must have brought them form home.

I loved the slight burn of the hot water on my skin and the steam was clearing my mind of all negative things. Jacob ran his fingers back through my long, thick curls that were becoming wet and softened by the water, soon making it a nice, slicked back almost ebony plait. I turned so that I could see him. I kissed his chin and mouth, nose, closed eyelids, down his cheekbones. I shifted us so that he could stand under the showering hot water while I slightly shivered just out of its warm path.

I was adoring my husband, worshipping him every where, not missing the most insignificant area. I could tell that he needed this.

I moved my hands down his neck and then lower, massaging his skin softly as he let his mouth open slightly, his breathing deep and low, enjoying the sensations of water and fingers, palms…kneading gently, not groping.

"How does this feel, Jacob?" I asked in a whisper, my own body already limp from the hot water. I didn't even realize how much I needed a shower until I was in here but I was glad Jacob made me take one.

"Don't stop, please…" He said in a non-erotic voice. It sounded like he was going to sleep.

"Your wish is my command." I said, moving my hands down his ribs, finding his nice backside, my hands squeezing lightly, circling with my palms.

"I want to wash you." I told him without hesitation, taking one of my bath sponges and pouring some of the body wash into it.

He trembled a little bit as I began, turning his back to me and stroking his wide shoulders. I kissed the skin of his back, soaping in wide circles after each kiss with the sponge, my other hand softly moving the suds down his body. His voice hummed in response, telling me I was doing well.

I used my hand to glide the bubbles down Jacob's spine, massaging all the way down as he murmured things though his sleepy voice.

Kneeling down, I leisurely washed down his muscular, legs. I slowly moved his legs around so he'd face me now, continuing my lathering into my right hand. Suddenly, he switched positions so that he was the one kneeling and I was the one with my back against the shower wall.

"Jacob…"

"Stop trying to care for me Nessie." He growled, "I don't need this. You do."

"But…"

"Please." He looked at me with pleading eyes and I couldn't say no.

I decided to stop complaining because the circles he was making on my legs felt too good.

He lifted each foot carefully. I had to rest my hands on his shoulders for support while he washed my feet, loving each and every toe. He leaned in and placed a kiss on my foot and I involuntarily let out a small gasp.

"No, Jacob, you don't have to kiss my feet." I whispered, looking a little sad.

"Yes I do." He did it again and wouldn't let me pull out of his grasp.

He smiled up at me and said in a low voice, "You've been neglected. But I'm here now. I'm here to take care of you."

He moved his hands up the front of my legs, over my knees and up my thighs.

Rising to his feet again, he lathered up the sponge. Soaping up my stomach, then up my ribs, peppering more soft kisses there after their washing, he moved up to my breasts. He gave them a nice, methodical wash, not pinching nipples or biting. This shower wasn't for that. My entire body felt like Jell-o and I could have sworn that I was in a spa somewhere because I could feel all the grime, pain and worry from the last three days flow into the drain with the rest of the water and soap. But somewhere in the back of my head I remembered what Jacob had told me.

Jonathan was sick.

He said it was bad but I prayed I was just overreacting.

He reached for the shampoo and dropped a small dollop in his palms.

He kissed my cheeks and moved my head back, turning me a bit so the water didn't run down my hair anymore. He got his fingers intertwined into my locks and massaged my scalp as he lathered the shampoo.

"Uuuhhhh God." I moaned and closed my eyes while he worked with both of his hands, using all his energy and giving all his attention to me.

"I love your hair, Nessie." He kissed my mouth again. His fingers slowly worked the shampoo out of my thick, wet hair, his lips not releasing mine yet. He slowly moved his lips to my neck.

"Jacob…" I moaned now, loving what he was doing to my skin. My fingernails dug into the skin of his shoulders as I tried to grip him tighter to me. I almost didn't hear the quiet sobs of my husband but if I listened carefully, I could tell that they were there. He was crying and trying to take care of me at the same time. He shouldn't have to do that.

Then he moved me so I was standing under the pouring hot water.

"Your turn." I whispered, roughly spinning him so his back was to me.

I reached up and intertwined my fingers into his hair, pulling his head back a little until he was almost looking up. I wasn't rough with him, still sweet but firm.

He needed this just as much as I did.

The water ran down his throat as I lathered up the soap and glided it across his body.

I washed him all over, just as he had done to me.

I finished washing and shampooing him, avoiding sensitive areas so that we didn't get aroused.

He got out of the shower first, all the hot water gone, and grabbed a towel from the bar on the wall. He pulled me out next and wrapped me in it. I towel dried his hair with another that was on the sink. I moved down his face, his neck, shoulders, under his arms. We took our sweet time drying every inch of skin, placing small wet kisses upon every thing that had just dried off.

After we were done, I noticed that there were new clothes on the sink. They were sweats for the both of us, which I was thankful for because I had a feeling that I wasn't going to be going anywhere for the next couple of days. He brushed through my hair to get the tangles out while we looked at each other in the mirror.

"Please tell me what's going on." I whispered almost begging.

Jacob let out a deep breath, "After you fell asleep, we…we all were around playing with the babies. Everything was fine." He voice cracked but he pulled himself together. I knew that he didn't want to show his pain, especially with me, "There was a lot of commotion and Doc said that…Jonathan's lungs had collapsed."

I swayed slightly and my eyes fluttered back but Jacob caught me before I hit the floor.

"Nessie, stay with me please." Jacob hit my face lightly, "Nessie, come on."

I was only out for a second but it felt like longer, "Tell me he's alright." I felt the sting of unshed tears in my eyes, "I have to know that he's ok."

Jacob hesitated for a moment and that's when I knew that this was bad, "He's on a respirator right now and Doc thinks that there's a 30 percent chance of him living if we take him off of it."

This time when my eyes fluttered back, I didn't even try to stay in the light. I let myself go because I felt so horrible.

How could this be happening to me?

I always knew that something like this might happen. This was all my fault. Somehow, I knew that this was my fault. My body wasn't capable of caring for him and he was dying because of me. My son was dying because I was too weak.

I woke up God knows how much later in the plush bed of the hospital. I felt Jacob's heated hand in mine and saw him staring at me with pained eyes.

"I…I…have to see him." I tried to get out of bed but Jacob pushed me back down.

"You have to take it easy Nessie. You're still not fully healed."

"I'm fine Jacob. Let go of me." I was crying but still pissed. He tightened his grip around me and held me down, "Jacob, please."

I didn't even give him a chance to answer before I just shoved so hard, he feel backwards. I was out of the door before he got off of the floor and ran down the hall, barefoot and not caring. I followed the sound of a respirator machine and wheezing that cut deep into me every time I heard it.

I was led to a room that was smaller than the one I was in but just as bright and clean. There, in a little plastic container, hooked up to three tubes, was my son. My little son who was less than three days old was dying and I couldn't do anything about it. My body crumbled but once again, Jacob was there to catch me.

"Please just tell me that he's going to be ok." My body was shaking.

"I can't promise that but we're trying Nessie."

"Who's trying? Where's Grandpa? Why isn't he in here?!" I yelled and pushed myself up, "Why isn't anyone doing anything?" I yelled into the hallway but no one came.

"They went hunting. They wanted to give us some time…"

"Get him here now." I snarled.

Where the fuck was Grandpa. Wasn't he some kind of super genius doctor? He should be able to fix this.

Once I realized that no one was coming, my body cooled down and I went to go see my son. He needed me to calm down and think rationally. I was racking my brain for anything that could be useful.

"Can…can…I hold him?" I asked through my tears.

"We can't move him." Jacob wrapped his arms around me and I felt his tears on my shoulder.

"How long has he been like this?"

"Two days."

Jacob tried to explain to me the best he could what was happening with Jonathan. As I suspect, it was my fault. Leave it to me to have two uteri. I would be the one who would fuck this up. Nothing in my life was easy and I should have known that this wouldn't be either. I was so naïve when it came to Jacob's dreams. He was trying to warn me but I wasn't listening.

I cried into Jacob's chest the entire time he told me how Jonathan was breathing through a tube because he couldn't do it himself. He was so small and he could have fit into Jacob's palm. I was so scared I didn't even know what to do.

After a couple hours, I didn't have any moister left in me and just sat on the floor, in between Jacob's legs with my back against his chest, while we looked at our son.

"Is he in pain?" I asked with a horse voice.

"I don't know. Edward can't hear his thoughts." He said without emotion.

"He's so small."

"I know. He never even had a chance." Jacob kissed the side of my neck.

"Why does this always happen to us?"

Jacob gave a snort, "We have never had an easy life and we never will."

"But he doesn't deserve this. I should have been stronger." I sobbed but no tears came out. My eyes hurt too much to cry.

"No Nessie, this wasn't your fault." Jacob turned me around so that he could see my face, "This wasn't your fault. Don't blame yourself for this. You did the best you could."

"The best I could? Jacob, our son is being kept alive by a fucking respirator."

"And that's in no way your fault." He kissed my face everywhere.

"No Jacob, stop it. Stop trying to put the blame on anyone but me." I pushed him away from me and stood up, "This is my fault." I hovered over my son and desperately wanted to touch him but he looked so fragile.

"He's trying Nessie." Jacob got off the floor.

"I know. I just wish there was something I could do."

Everyone came back an hour later and I got condolences and hugs but I didn't want them. I didn't want anything but my son to be healthy. Mama told me that Rachel had her baby but I could have cared less. I know that sounded bad but I was in a tunnel with Jonathan at the other end and no one else mattered. I had a new niece but I didn't even want to see her. Hell, I didn't even want to see Anthony or Elena until I knew that Jonathan was alright.

Grandpa explained better what was going on and I knew that he was doing everything he could but I screamed at him for a long time because I felt like he could be doing more. Wasn't there medication? Surgery? Anything? This wasn't supposed to be happening to me.

"Nessie." Jacob whispered to me as the sun set and I hadn't moved from my seat next to Jonathan's…thing. Whatever the hell it was called.

"What Jacob." I replied dryly.

"You haven't even seen the babies yet. Don't you want to?"

Of course I do but I don't deserve to.

"No." I snapped.

I had only been a mother for three days and I was already unfit. I needed to be committed or something because I was always screwing things up and I wasn't going to let my kids go through pain because of me.

"Nessie, they need to see you. Edward says they've been asking since they were born." Jacob put his hand on my knee but I hit it away.

"I'm not leaving."

"I know you're hurting. We all are but you have two other children to look after." He said frustrated.

I looked at him with a disgusted face, "Are you seriously pulling this bullshit with me right now? How can you even think about anything but him?" I pointed to Jonathan.

"Because I'm a parent Nessie and right now, I'm the only one our children have."

Before he even took a breath, I slapped Jacob so hard, I smelled the blood pour out of his mouth and his neck almost went backwards but I didn't care.

He had no right to talk to me that way and I could have fucking killed him if I had the energy.

"If you don't want to be here, then get out." I growled.

Jacob spit the blood out into the sink on the wall and then left the room without another word. I could actually fell the anger coming off of his body and heard the wall outside snap when Jacob put his fist through it.

I watched as Jonathan took artificial breathes and couldn't stop the tears as they flowed down my face.

Why does this always have to happen to me?

HOLY NON-EROTIC SHOWERS BATMAN

THAT WAS STILL KIND OF HOT FOR IT NOT HAVING ANY SEX IN IT. I WAS PROUD OF MYSELF FOR KEEPING IT CLEAN ALTHOUGH I WANT TO GET ME SOME LEMMONY GOODNESS IN SOON. IF ONLY JONATHAN WERE HEALTHY AND WE COUDL ALL GO BACK HOME. I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT.

QUESTIONS:

WILL LEAH IMPRINT ON JOHNATHAN?

NO

WHEN IS SETH COMING BACK?

SOMETIME. YOU KNOW I'LL SPRING IT ON YOU.

WILL JONATHAN SURVIVE?

DO YOU REALLY THINK IM GIVING THAT ONE AWAY?

WILL THE BABIES HAVE POWERS?

CANT SAY BUT YOU CAN OBVIOUSLY TELL THAT THEY'RE ALREADY SPECIAL.

I WANT EVERYONE TO JUST TAKE A MOMENT AND REMEMBER WHERE WE STARTED WITH THIS THING. DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THIS ENTIRE ANTHOLOGY? I HAD TO GO BACK AND DO SOME REREADING MYSELF BECAUSE I KIND OF FORGOT WHAT HAPPENED. I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT THAT I WOUDL HAVE THREE PARTS TO THIS THING BUT IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS AND YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT SO THANKS.

UP NEXT...? WE'RE GOING TO TRY AND GET JONATHAN BETTER, GOING HOME, SETH, IF HE GETS HIS HEAD OUT OF HIS ASS BUT DONT COUNT ON THAT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON. DAMN WOLF.

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