What were the odds. Out of all the places where Alicia could have collided with the mother of her lover's child, it was at a rehab facility.
Once the session had concluded, she stood up and rushed for the bathroom. She hauled herself into the stall and leaned over the toilet, she tried to control the weight of food that rushed north, but she found herself vomiting her breakfast from that day. Flashes of Callie's face and Macey's sweet smile and Will's voice rushed through her head, prompting an even worse sensation in her stomach. Shutting the toilet seat, she leaned forward and shook her head.
She didn't hear the bathroom door open until she heard heels meet the tiled floors. She wiped her mouth and stood up just in time for Callie to see her state.
"Are you okay?" Callie, the woman who until now, had only been a memory, appeared genuinely concerned.
Flushing the toilet, Alicia moved past her and rinsed her mouth. "I'm fine."
"Food poisoning?" she asked, handing her a paper towel.
Alicia looked at her through the mirror, and slowly nodded. "Yea, raw chicken" she lied.
"That sux. Here, have some gum"
"No thank you… I'll be okay."
"The last time I saw you, I think it's safe to say we were both feeling much better"
"That was a long time ago" Alicia commented in nostalgia.
"Five years"
Alicia looked down at the sink and sighed. She didn't feel comfortable being here, afraid that she could burst, or cry, or laugh just being in Callie's presence. The pure irony of it all felt so ridiculous, it hadn't been long since she had spoken with Macey on the phone and promised her a life that they could have once she moved to them. She wondered if stumbling into Callie was more than an accident.
"I have to go" Alicia stood up and moved for the door.
"Wait.. please"
"Callie"
"I know you're busy.. I know who you are. But I.. I was.. could we get coffee or something?"
Looking at her, Alicia had expected her to look so much worse than she was now. From Will's perspective of Callie – or his lack of perspective – Callie seemed like a horrible ghost that would always remain at a distance from her or Macey. But now, that reality was slowly falling, the woman who stood before her looked better than the picture Will had painted. A few lines and wrinkles had joined her complexion, along with the unusual scar on her arm, but as for that, Alicia felt as though she weren't looking at the horror show that Will had gifted her mind.
"Why?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Why do you want to get coffee?"
"Because I think it would be great to.. catch up?"
"I'll have to think about it"
"Sure." She watched as Callie moved for the door, stopping to glance back.
"Alicia. You look well"
She smiled with a mild light in her eye, "Thanks, you too."
/
"Maybe she's a stalker?" Brad commented
"What?"
They were sitting on the bench beside the lake, Brad was writing the last of his admission papers while she had just spelled hers and Callie's mutual history with Will.
"Her? No. I'm sure she has better things on her mind."
"Maybe she knows that you and Will are together.. Maybe she knows that you plan on adopting her child and marrying her ex."
"Nobody said anything about adoption?"
"Alicia, if the way you look and talk about Macey doesn't suggest a wedded family then I don't know what does"
"Do you really think that?"
"You love her don't you?"
"Of course, she's my.."
"She's your what?"
"I was just gonna say she's mine but then I realize that's not healthy" she chuckled
"To label something that's not yet labled?"
"You don't have to remind me that I live outside Will's circle."
"He doesn't live in your circle either"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I'm saying – maybe you should consider giving him what he wants"
"And what is that?" she raised her brow, smiling at his need to give advice
"You – obviously"
"I'm lost"
"I'm the reason you're here and not with your family."
"So you're blaming yourself for Will and I living two states apart?"
"I'm just saying, after I hit you that day"
"Brad.."
"Don't try and stick up for me. I can't live with myself knowing that you're here, unhappy, because you feel some loyal necessity to look out for me because I've done the same for you in the past. Go to him Alicia, and don't tell him about Callie, or tell him, but you deserve a happy ending."
/
It frustrated her that Brad was a good actor. He had control over her because he knew what to say and when to say it. Unlike herself, who couldn't even tell him what to do without being instructed to move back to Chicago.
"Okay Steve, I guess we'll be paying someone special a visit"
"I was hoping we would go home" he said, sternly. "Mrs. Florrick, we've been travelling too much this last week, it's not safe."
"It's just to Chicago."
"We have to go back home" he said decidedly. "Chiefs orders"
"Right, I've heard that one before.." she mumbled. "Okay, whatever, I need to get my daughter anyway, I miss her too much."
She said goodbye to Brad, leaving him with a basket of sweets to replace liquor, and a few laughs to last the week. She was hoping her good mood would reflect Steve and the men, because nothing was gonna stop her from seeing Will.
She walked into the west wing, waving at Peter's secretary as she made her way freely past her desk. "He's on the phone at the moment mam" she called out
"That's okay Michele, I won't be long."
Entering the office, she smiled at him and closed the door.
"Yep, I understand" he was saying. "I want this to work out, so as long as we can come to a fair agreement, Alicia will be fine with it"
She raised her brows at the mention of her name. Peter stood up and moved across the room, she slipped past his desk and sat in his chair, silently wondering when the last time a woman had sat here, probably never. She doubted the idea of Michele Obama enthusiastically keen to sit in this seat.
When Peter finished his call, he smirked at her position. "Comfortable?"
"Never better. Who was that?"
"Secret service"
"Oh no, what code did I break this time?"
"Relax, I talked to her."
"So can I go to Chicago?" she smiled brightly
"Depends on whether you will listen to your security detail"
"I listen to them!" she defended herself.
"You told Bryan that you thought he needed anger management classes"
"I don't particularly like Bryan, thank you for swapping him with Mike by the way, I really like this new guy"
He laughed, shaking his head. "You are unbelievable"
"That's why you married me"
"And that's why you're divorcing me" he teased back.
She rolled her eyes, standing up to take a look at the new photo frames on his shelf, there was one of Zahara, her face lit with an intense joy and ecstatic smile. "How's my baby girl?"
"She is draining everyone in this house"
"Oh?"
"Yea, you know, running around the field and chasing the birds" Alicia smiled warmly at the image.
She stood up, "I'm glad you had a good week, but I want her to myself now."
There was an odd look on Peter's face, and for a moment she thought he was about to object, until he moved toward her and gently raised his hand to touch her cheek. She realized he wasn't objecting about Zahara. He touched the light bruise on her cheek and scrunched his brows together.
"I had a bit of a fall" she lied. "Brad and I were.. playing football"
"Football?" he asked. "You hate football"
"We were just playing around with some kids" she felt awful for the lie, but she knew if she added the sense of charity then he would believe her.
"Oh okay" he stepped back, "Is there anything I should know?"
"Yea, Brad is in rehab. I understand that you're going to find out sometime so you should hear it from me. He needs some help with… well, alcohol addiction."
"Right" Peter sighed. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that"
Considering the unreasonableness of such awkward territory, she concluded with a nod and ran for the door to find her daughter.
"Alicia" Peter called out to her, "You can go to Chicago."
She smiled at him, one of her warm smiles that showed him how much she appreciated his tolerance. "Thank you, Peter."
/
"Momma wer we goin?" Zahara murmured in her shoulder
Alicia squeezed her way onto the plane, pulling the blonde wig off her shoulders and throwing it on the seat. The blonde hair was useless thought Alicia, but Steve would not have let her out of the state without wearing it.
"We're gonna surprise Will and Macey baby, you remember?"
Zahara raised her perfect delightful eyebrows, "Mace?"
"Yea that's right.. I know you miss her"
"Pretty momma" Zahara touched her natural hair with her chubby hands. Alicia was thankful that her daughter seemed to appreciate the long locks of brunette that Alicia owned and not the blonde wig that she often saw her mother wear.
"Not as pretty as you gorgeous girl" she tucked her into her seat, amazed at how familiar Zahara was at this part of travel and simultaneously guilty for it.
It was nearly ten pm when they landed in Chicago, smelling the fresh brisk air, she practically danced off the plane, her heart pumping with joy to be home again.
Steve had managed to make an agreement with her after she realized that Will was still in the office, Will's assistant who had left the office only fifteen minutes ago, probably headed home to sleep like normal human beings, told her over the phone that Mr Gardner was assisting on a very important case. Instantly, like the mother she was, Alicia wondered where Macey was in all of this, but the image paled when she realized that like Macey, her own child was eager to sleep.
"If he's not there, then we're leaving immediately" Steve told her, "Zahara can stay in the car for now. I'll come up with you, make sure you wear those sunglasses. If anybody finds out that you're in the city, then will be ambushed and.."
"Yes.. yes I know!" she rolled her eyes, impatiently waiting for her door to be unlocked. "Look after my baby" she told the men, glancing at Zahara as she slept soundly in her seat. "If she wakes, there's a bottle of water in her bag.."
Steve gently dragged her away from repeating her traditional speech on how to look after the-most wanted photographed baby in the country.
She smoothed out the fake blonde bangs on her forehead as she slipped her hand underneath Steve's one. They walked into the building as the newlywed couple that their roles possessed, she couldn't help but giggle as they entered the elevator. There was an excitement that never grew old when she was able to walk through halls without being noticed. The man standing next to Steve looked at them strangely, Steve was at least seven feet tall, a road size taller than Alicia, and she knew the man was currently measuring his height in comparison to hers.
"Basketball player?" the man asked.
"Excuse me?"
"No, let me guess again, you're in the military?"
Steve simply ignored the man, staring straight ahead. Alicia naturally felt guilty, hidden under those ginormous glasses of hers, but she was literally handcuffed at the mouth so she stayed quiet.
The man got off on the 8th floor, leaving the two of them alone again. "Is that a gun that I feel in your side?"
"Yeup."
She tried to shake the feeling off, knowing very well that it was for her own safety. Her heart dropped and pounced simultaneously as the elevator opened to a new and fully refurnished Lockhart Gardner offices. She smiled with pride as she saw Cary's name on the letterhead.
The place certainly looked different, not that she expected any less. Instead of having the reception desk to look at, a spiral staircase led upward to the conference room. The floor was spread out with various separate offices, all with glass walls and swipe cards for access. Will and Diane's office were no longer there, but replaced with a reception area that held that spectacular view she use to envy.
This must be the new twenty first century, thought Alicia, with a bitter and sad feeling in the bottom of her stomach. She had missed out on so much.
Darkness crowded the floor, with only a few lucky associates in their fine dimly lit offices and a large full moon to gawk at.
"You must be the man I spoke to on the phone" a woman said to Steve, "I'm Rachel, I understand you and your wife have a very important meeting with.." she looked at her ipad and furrowed her prim brows together, most likely confused… "Miss Cavanaugh?"
Grace.
Her breath caught in her throat. Steve knew her well.
The secretary explained that Grace was busy with the partners, so they offered to wait. As soon as she was gone, Alicia's legs were already approaching the spiral staircase, racing to find whoever it was she could wrap her arms around.
She looked into the new conference room and stopped to observe them. From afar, they looked so foreign to her, despite the easy relationship she had with each one, she felt like they were fields apart; in their own world. Will was talking to some associates, Cary was looking over notes with Grace, Kalinda was trying to negotiate with Will and Diane.. and Diane was there? This threw her off guard. She remembered Will mentioning that Diane had retired months ago but she still tended to visit even when she wasn't needed.
This part of the floor was isolated, they were the only ones to occupy the area, something that Alicia was extremely grateful for, otherwise her hidden role would not have been played so well without the aid of the night.
"Can I help you?" Zach's voice approached her from behind.
Before she could say anything, he spoke again. "I'm sorry mam but you're on the wrong floor, this area is for lawyers only"
She took a step forward, smiling and madly eager to remove the stupid false identity. "Zach it's me" she whispered softly.
The sound of her voice moved his ears, he looked at her once again, shocked and bewildered as his gaze tore into her face "Mom"
He was in her arms before he could even speak another word. "Are you okay?" he panicked. "Is everything alright"
"Fine, fine. I just thought it was time I come and see you all"
"But I thought.. I thought you were in Miami"
"I was. But I'm here now."
"You look different" he noticed. "You have a tan and.. are you eating?"
"Am I eating?" she smirked. "Of course I am. I should be asking you the same question, you're all muscle and no flesh." He helped her remove her coat so that she could breathe through all the air-conditioned heat. The smell was still novel, as though they had only furnished the floors a few hours ago. The release of her coat revealed her in her natural habitat. Fresh jeans, heels and a tight blouse. The only disguise that protected her was the wig, which was now useless to those who knew Alicia's body.
"You look like Victoria" Zach commented. "Only, you're taller, and the wig is really something mom! It looks... real."
"I missed you" She whispered.
"You too mom"
She knew Will was close when the air involuntarily and unwantedly caught in the bottom of her throat once again. The sound of his light footsteps could never cease to be erased from memory, or the unexpected and nervous sound of his heartbeat, which she could hear from where she stood, or maybe that was her own?
His steps slowed as he came closer, she turned lightly and smiled so easily, as if she wasn't in the midst of a stroke waiting for his reaction.
"Hey stranger" she murmured.
It was almost shocking to see Will in a suit again. For the most part of Montana he was either in jeans or nothing, but god she was trying her hardest not to think about that right now.
He continued toward her with slow steps, stomaching only half a meter of distance to remove her sunglasses. Any doubt that was seen in his features softened into something that she couldn't quite contain. Happiness? Love? Fear? Warmth?
The corner of Will's lips raised into a familiar grin and she couldn't help but laugh out loud. "You're blonde" was the first thing he said, a rich expression of pure dislike in his features. She was glad.
"It's a wig, don't get any ideas"
His grin grew even wider, she could feel the mutual urge to reach out and hold him, and if they weren't so exposed and so concealed, then she would probably be walking away with his arm in her own, but for now, she allowed her eyes to soak him in and shivered in happiness when her second child ran past Will and wrapped herself around Alicia.
"Mom" Grace whispered in her ear, still trying to grip onto the notion that Alicia was here "You're home."