Hey, arguably one of the funnier episodes of the show! And of Thomas in general, I'd be so bold as to suggest. Also it gives a nice bit of spotlight on Ned, and his sudden delight at being able to destroy things legally. ...So, two more episodes left! That's fun!

AaronCottrell97: It does have some funny moments in it, I'll grant you.

Reality Rejection Service: That he is, friend. That he is.

Bronze Shield: I like the way you think!

Game-Watch: Buster is so slow that even non-existent people can beat him.

MattPrice01: Trust me, SodF1 will return in some shape and/or form. It's a really nice idea. Pretty much with regards to TG.

JD145: An interesting question! I think the main problem with the Pack episodes is that they barely use the characters that I have become most comfortable writing with, so I have to struggle with that. And also, a lot of the characters are fairly small compared to the proper characters. So this is harder for me, but I will struggle through!

UGX7: A very good comparison! ...Mind, even I can't write a character as insane as he can. Sooooo...I'll take that as praise!

Radical sandwiches: There's several craters where they spent their dates.

Kamen Rider Necom: Yep. ...GOD I MISS THE MAIN SERIES.

CUE THE...less than impressive theme music.

Thomas was taking his friend Ned-

"Friend is a strong word, Mr Narrator, so...can we cut back on it, please?"

"I don't mind you not using that word, Thomas."

"Shut up, Ned, no one cares about you!"

"Tell me something I don't know. Anyway, I get to demolish stuff! ...Aside from everyone's hopes and dreams."

Yes, Thomas was taking his frie...Right, right, sorry. He was taking Ned to the old brickworks. Thomas hadn't even known they had had an old brickworks until the Fat Controller had told him about said old brickworks, so now they were going to the old brickworks. Brickworks is a fun word, so I'm using it as much as I can before it gets old. "Demolish? As in-?"

"Knocking buildings down, yes!" Ned was very happy to do so. "It's the first time my quirk can be used for something that might make Miss Jenny love me!"

"...Wow. Way to bring the whole mood down, Ned!"

"Sorry! Didn't mean to!"

"You weirdos. Always knocking shit down!" Thomas said no more until they arrived at said brickworks. Miss Jenny had already shown the foreman the plans, and after being assured that his wife would not be killed as long as he agreed to do everything she said, he agreed that these were smart indeed.

"It's time to get to work! And remember-"

"Safety first!"

"No, actually, I was going to say remember that if ye fail at this, I will come to yer sheds late at night. And I will murder ye...just a friendly bit of advice!"

...

"I can't wait to get started on demolishing this building!"

"HA! Oh Ned! You and your dreams! You're not here for that, you're here for cleaning up the rubble! ...HOLY SHIT A MOUSE MADE OUT OF COTTON CANDY! STAY THERE MOUSE AND LET ME CHECK YOU!" Oliver trundled off towards a very confused Hawkeye, who wondered why he was licking his lips like that.

His dreams shattered, Ned glumly got to work on filling up Thomas's trucks. Today it wouldn't have mattered that he was a complete klutz. But no. Some things weren't meant to be.

Oliver, meanwhile, had had his wrecking ball attachment put on his arm. He took a few swings and nearly crushed Thomas beneath it. This is why construction vehicles doing drugs are bad, kids.

Miley Cyrus, watching this later, got the idea for a little known song from this. Don't know if you've ever heard of it.

"MR OLIVER, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL! ...Sorry. Erm, knock this wall down first. And then we'll go from there."

"Right ho, Mr Paper Mache!"

"W-What?"

"Here we go! Stand back please!" As soon as they had stood back, he swung his arm back...and then swung the ball towards the wall.

There was a soft 'crack' as it hit the wall. And nothing.

"...Hmm."

"...Bit more welly?"

"I don't have wellies! I have a wrecking ball!" And he swung it as hard as he could. The dust shook off the wall...and nothing again.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmm."

"We need a bigger wrecking ball!"

"Yes, I was about to say, it's a bit...small, isn't it?"

"It's not the size." growled the foreman.

"Unless yer that feckless layabout Carlin in which case, yes, it very much is the size." laughed Miss Jenny, who was busy on her smoke break. Somewhere, Carlin felt like his masculinity was being punched in the face, dragged out of a car and left to freeze to death.

Soon, the bigger ball was fixed to Oliver's arm. He swung it, and...

He hit it.

And still, the wall did not fall.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." said Oliver, who was beginning to have a moment of crisis.

"Can I help-?"

"BUGGER OFF NED, NO ONE CARES! This is Oliver's job and he's going to do it whether he wants to or not!"

"Oh. Okay." Ned was disappointed.

"This is like hitting goddamn titanium!" shouted Oliver's operator. "And just as practical!" The foreman was also checking the wall.

"Right! SEND FOR THE BIGGEST BALL THERE IS!"

...

After rejecting a beach ball, a bowling ball and a basketball, the foreman clarified that he wanted a 'wrecking' ball. And so he got one. The biggest, baddest ball that could be found. And Ned was back putting rubble in Thomas's trucks.

In theory, anyway.

"NED! Rubble in the trucks!"

"Sorry." said Ned, glumly.

"AND STOP APOLOGIZING! Grow a backbone!"

"Sorry."

"...UGH! This is why no one likes you!"

Oliver swung backwards, his arm pitched like a baseball player throwing a ball, and he launched the ball forward with all his might towards the wall.

Nothing.

In the stunned silence, Oliver could be faintly heard to scream "OH COME THE SHIT ON!" It appears this leap in logic was too much, even for the resident drug abuser.

"I think we should give it up as a lost cause." murmured the operator.

"If we did that, then half of our jobs would be unfinished somewhere."

Ned, meanwhile, was in his own world where he was allowed to knock down all the buildings he wanted. And to be fair to him, it didn't help that Hawkeye wasn't looking until it was too late. As he was wont to do.

"What the- LOOK OUT!"

Ned hit the side of the chimney with a crunch.

There was a long pause, long enough for everyone to think that everything was going to be a-okay. Just as the bricks fell and the chimney rocked, the foreman and the rest of the people hid in large barrels of engine ash.

"WHAT ABOUT US!?" shouted Oliver. No one listened to him.

"Ohhhhhhhh so this is how it ends." said a rather deadened Thomas.

At which point, the chimney toppled over like one magnificent domino, smashing through the roof of the brickworks, taking out several cars and other such things left inside. A second later, wall after all popped it's clogs repeatedly, joining the pile of bricks and mortar on the ground.

There was a momentary pause.

"Oops." said Ned. For what else could one say in a situation such as this?

"HOORAY!" said the workmen.

"OW!" said Oliver. Tile and brick after tile and brick rained down from the sky. "OW!"

And again.

"OW!"

And again.

"OW!"

And again.

"OW!"

And again.

"OW!"

And again.

"OW!"

At which point, the original wall finally decided to give up the ghost and crumpled into a dead heap, much like Thomas had the second the chimney had hit the ground. On the plus side, his trucks were very much full.

"OW!"

"I DID IT! ME! NED! I AM VICTORIOUS! IS THIS WHAT WINNING FEELS LI- Oh hi, Oliver. Want me to break anything else?"

"OW! ...No. You've done enough! This is the reason why I do drugs, you know!"

And the moral of the story is...

You know what? Make up your own.

...

In the sewers, the Pack and both JC and RH huddled together and waited for a sign that the robot had moved on. Said sign was taking it's sweet ass time, and tensions were running high.

"DICKHEAD!"

"YANKEE LOVER!"

"PRETENTIOUS!"

"Druggie!"

"Asshole!"

"ANTI-CEMENTITE!"

At last, Hammond blasted Oliver's horn and drew everyone's attention. "All right! All right! Look, we don't like each other."

"I HATED YOU ON BRANIAC: SCIENCE ABUSE!" screamed Max. Or possibly Monty, but really, who cares? Hammond bit back that gaping wound, as he had assumed that everyone loved him in everything he ever did...ever. But there were more important things now than his overly wounded pride.

"But I think we can all agree that we like Norris Von Stig a hell of a lot less! So, how about we put our massive and considerably powerful dicks to one side for a moment...and whatever the hell small thing Jeremy's packing, stop fighting with them, and figure a way out of this. Because the way this is going, we're not going to make it to the BAFTA's."

"Oh, THAT'S what you're most concerned about?!" cried a frustrated Isabella.

"Well, I do have one plan!" Jeremy beamed. "And it is rather cunning, if I may say so!"

"...I'm terrified already."

Clarkson was about to explain this plan, when there was an all mighty crash from above. Everyone froze. Had something hit the earth? Had Norris begun the task of smashing away at the pavement? Had the end of the world come already?

In reality, it was the sound of Norris Von Stig tripping over his feet and hitting the ground face first.

There were still some Norris jeans left in there, after all.

And so they began to brace themselves for a final attack.