AN: For Zim, who stalked me till I posted this. Also: A disclaimer. Some of the views portrayed in this chapter are character specific. I hold the highest regard for anybody in the genetic counselling profession. The opinions expressed here are Abby's not the truth and reality. Please keep that in mind.

A Dialogue

Kasumi woke up to the darkness of her silent room. Not hearing Abby move, she wondered what woke her and why she had not woken up when the woman returned from Samara. When she spend some more time listening she realized that she hadn't heard the woman move at all and wondered why she had not returned yet. A glance at her omni-tool told her she had been gone for quite a while. Frowning, Kasumi got up and pulled on her hood, leaving the room in only her night clothes. The common room was very quiet as she crossed the hall and a quick glance around the corner showed her that she was the only person around.

She went to Samara's room, surprised to find it locked. What were they doing in there? She thought and knocked, wondering what she would find. When Samara didn't respond immediately she pressed the caller button on the door and waited. It took several minutes for the door to open and, when she looked at the confused and slightly dishevelled features of the Justicar when she finally stuck her head out Kasumi knew with a touch of dread that Abby wasn't here.

"Samara," she queried. "Sorry for waking you, did Abby come here a while ago?"

The Justicar frowned and rubbed her eyes, shaking her head in the process. "No Kasumi," she said tiredly. "It's the middle of the night and Dr. Gable doesn't have a lot to say to me."

Kasumi's mouth thinned as she looked into the room. "She said that she was coming here," she pointed out. "I fell asleep again and didn't think to check up on her. She hasn't come back yet."

Samara frowned and straightened up a little, turning so that she could face a console in her room. "EDI," she said, waiting for the avatar to materialize. Kasumi wasn't sure whether it was her imagination but she got the distinct impression that the AI took a fraction of a second longer to respond than she normally does.

"Yes Justicar," she said simply as her blue icon appeared. "With what can I help you?"

Samara frowned at the AI as if she too had noticed the lag in appearance. "EDI," she said sharply. "Where is Dr. Gable?"

"They try to counsel you," Abby was saying to Asura as the Ardat Yakshi watched her, her indigo eyes devoid of any emotion as she studied the way Abby's hands shook as she spoke to her, using them to emphasise her words. "While you're still reeling from this bomb that they've dropped on your life, your doctor takes you to a meeting with other patients and expect you to sit there and make peace with the fact that you will never have the life you dreamt that you would have. They call it rehabilitation. They call it support groups. I called it the biggest lie of my time." There was anger in her words, so close to the surface. It was an old anger though one that had never quite built up to rage. "They take your family in there with you," Abby continued. "They counsel you, keeping telling you that there are ways of accepting this, of having a full life. They get patients who have already been indoctrinated to the lie to sit there with you and speak of their acceptance. I hated it, I hated all of it." She sniffed and clenched her hands together. "At first my whole family attended while they were waiting for the results on my brother's test and those of his daughters. In those first weeks I got the impression that he was angry with me for bringing this into their lives. It was as if he would blame me personally if he or his children was diagnosed. They had just had their second child and if he had it, the chances would've been very good that they'd have it as well." Abby sighed and shrugged, looking away from Asura. "They were clean though and they stopped going to the meetings right there and then though offered their support to me in hollow words of encouragement. The truth was that they were so relieved that it wasn't a part of their lives that they didn't want to face anything else to do with it, including me. I didn't blame them of course; I'd have done anything to get away from it myself." She sniffed and shifted, unclenching her hands again.

Asura's eyes were unreadable as she studied Abby's movements. "Did you try and take your life soon after?" she queried to which Abby immediately shook her head.

"No," she said. "I've had this for a couple of years. The symptoms aren't immediately crippling. It's a slow decline. Or, the rate of decline depends from person to person. In the beginning I tried to believe the lie that they were going to tell me but I soon realized that my life was..." She struggled to find the word. "Shattered. They said it was depression and that I just had to take the right medication and my whole perception would change but..." she shook her head. "I knew it was a lie. I didn't want to live that lie of pretending to be alright, of pretending to cope. I wanted a way out and I started preparing for it. I knew from the beginning that I was going to commit suicide; this disease has one of the highest rates because there's really no real cure that they can offer us. My father had done so when he was just a little older than I am now. I had thought, dramatically I'll admit, that I was just going to honour his legacy."

She chuckled bitterly and trailed off, staring at her tea wondering if she would dare reach to it. She eventually decided to take the chance and carefully enfolded her hands around it, bringing it to her lips and taking a slow sip. Asura watched her every move as if she was trying to anticipate what was going to happen next, as if she wanted to draw Abby into her mind and keep her there.

"What happened that night?" she queried. "Did someone find you? Did you try and do it on Banrio when the mercenaries attacked?"

Abby hesitated and shook her head, not looking at Asura as she shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "I really don't know. I thought I had died Asura. I mean... I felt myself fall asleep and then... the next thing I know I'm here. I don't know what happened in between. I don't think I want to know. I can say in all honesty that how I got here is as much a mystery to me as it is for everybody else. For all I know I've been abducted by aliens." She chuckled suddenly. "There was this show where I came from called the 4400. Where people just reappeared over the whole universe that had been missing for decades. I think something like that happened to me. But I can't be sure."

Asura looked at her with a touch of amusement and sat back, though her indigo eyes lost none of their intensity. "Well," she said. "I get the feeling that your world was very different than this one. Right, fair enough you can ask me another question again."

The turn of conversation took Abby by surprise as she felt herself still reeling from Asura's last statement, wondering what exactly she meant by it. "Al right," she said softly. "Here's one. How many memories did we share? Do you have all of my memories or have we only shared fragments of each other's lives?"

Smiling bitterly, Asura shrugged. "I like your word choice Abigail," she said softly. "Fragments, as if we are both broken and we have exchanged pieces." Her words made Abby shiver, though she didn't show it as Asura looked past her, scanning the restaurant again. "I'm not sure," she confessed. "This is the first time that I've allowed myself to explore any memories associated with melding. Normally they were... associated with the dead and I do not let my mind dwell there. With you though... I can't say Abby. I can't access your memories at will. I see fragments of your life, cut up into pieces that are triggered by outside stimuli from my environment. I'll see stairs and remember you walking up them to take your own life. I'll go to sleep and dream that I am in a clinic, working with animals that I don't recognize. Not all of them anyway. But, I know what they are because in those moments – I am you."

Abby shivered and looked away. "It's... the same for me," she said. "I'm also you. I can hear your thoughts. Or, I think them... but not as me." She shrugged uncomfortably, feeling like a thief and taking only mild comfort from the fact that Asura also held her memories. So far, they had not been pleasant and she shuddered to think of what other horrors lay locked in the asari's mind. She didn't want to see any more killing, she had had enough of it to last her a lifetime.

"Which memories of mine have you had already?" Asura asked Abby, taking her turn to launch a question. "Could you tell me?"

Abby raised an eyebrow and sighed, thinking back. "The first one I experienced had been where you and Risha went out running or hiking I guess. She was young then, merely a child. She taunted you for liking a bug," Asura's eyes softened as she too shared the memory and Abby could feel the emotions that she had felt in that time again. For a split second, she felt closer to the asari, knowing that she was thinking, knowing what she was feeling... It was a strange sensation and she shuddered, forcing her mind to turn away from the memory. Was this what asari melding was all about? She thought as she stared at the asari. Sharing parts of yourself that nobody else can share with you? Letting you spend a fraction of a moment in another person's shoes. Is that why asari do it? She cleared her throat when she realized that Asura was staring at her and continued quickly. "Then, I dreamt when... I saw your family get killed. All of it from the moment you and Risha hid in the room till you buried her and your mother." She changed the subject quickly. "I saw her dance, doing ballet. I liked what she said. And..." She hesitated, seeing a look of pain cross Asura's features. "Are you alright?"

The asari swallowed and briefly turned away from Abby so that she could collect herself. "I've forgotten that day," she said softly and closed her eyes, moisture threatening to flow from them. "It... that's a good memory."

Abby smiled sadly and carefully reached out to touch Asura, realizing that it was the first time she offered her own touch in comfort. She touched her hand briefly, unsure then settled her hands over Asura's. "It was," she said softly. "I will hold it close, always. It was very precious. She was a wonderful young woman. It is... I'm sorry for your loss Asura."

The asari didn't say anything but nodded, still keeping her face turned away from Abby. Sighing, Abby realized that she had another question. "Why didn't you just tell me that Risha died Asura?" she queried softly. "We didn't need to go to Tetra."

Shaking her head, Asura gathered herself and gave Abby a pointed look. "You didn't have to go," she agreed. "But I needed the Justicar and your Commander Shepard to see that. They needed to get perspective a lot more than you did. You already had it; I knew it the moment you set off to for my home."

Feeling as if she had been a tool in some fundamental manipulation Abby sighed and shook her head. "You could still have warned me Asura," she said – feeling tired. "What you did there..." She closed her eyes, wishing she could block the memory. "The XO of the Normandy, Miranda Lawson believes that you're doing this for revenge – that you're killing all the people responsible for this. Is that true?"

The asari nodded simply, watching Abby's reaction who persisted, without giving her a chance to ask her another question. "And the ambush waiting for us when we got there?" she said "Did you know of that?"

Clearly she didn't. Asura blinked surprised and sat back, staring at Abby. "You mean they attacked the Normandy?" she queried to which Abby shook her head sharply.

"No," she said. "They attacked us. On the planet. Their ships had been cloaked with a technology that the Normandy had not encountered before. They demanded that Shepard give me to them. They threatened us, several of the crew members got hurt."

Asura's eyes were wide as she stared at Abby. "And you?"

The vet snorted and shook her head. "No, I ran and I had people watching my back. The point is Asura, only you knew that we were going there. How did they know that we were there? And why is there a bounty on my head? I didn't do anything."

Frowning, the asari settled back a bit and shook her head. "It's not about you Abby," she said. "It's about me. I think they believe that they can use you to get at me though don't ask me how they found you. These are the same people who attacked my family. They've been after me ever since I've left home though they've learned not to confront me outright or without a significant amount of support." Her eyes were cold as she scanned the room again. "I have killed many of them and it's still not enough, there seems to be more and more who are involved in this."

Abby hesitated and made a questioning motion with her hand. "Why do they want you Asura?" she queried. "They seem very determined."

The Ardat Yakshi shook her head and shrugged. "Maybe because of what I am," she said. "That's the only reason I can think of. A... friend of mine says that we are more powerful than normal asari. We can be a formidable weapon." She smiled dryly but her eyes were cold. "I have become a formidable weapon."

Abby sighed, thinking that the friend was probably Lenelle. Exhausted suddenly, she closed her eyes and briefly allowed her head to rest against her hand, feeling the tremor in it. Asura watched her with a note of concern in her eyes though in her favour, she didn't ask Abby if she was alright. The vet was tired of answering that question. Taking a deep breath, trying to clear her head, Abby looked out across the restaurant, wondering what she was going to do when they were done with this conversation. She turned back to Asura who was still studying her.

"Is there anything else that you want to know about me?" she said softly. "Anything you desperately want to know?"

Asura smiled at her, the look in her gaze gentle as she nodded. "There are a lot of things I want to ask you Abigail," she said softly. "But you seem tired. We can continue this at a later stage."

Abby snorted and shook her head. "Like when?" she queried. "Tomorrow morning? Later today? I can't sneak off of the Normandy again. When I go back there, Shepard's probably going to throw me in the brig."

Asura raised a brow and stared at her, her features hesitant as she said slowly. "Or, you can come back with me?"

She should've expected the question, but it still took her by surprise. Abby blinked at Asura and shifted uncomfortably, looking away from her, frightened of answering. A part of her did want to go back with the asari. She wanted to be with her, feel her touch again. Yet, she was terrified of it, of the need she suddenly felt. She knew that it had everything to do with the fact that the woman was an Ardat Yakshi and probably nothing with her own feelings. Still, she also had so much more that she wanted to know from her...

"I won't touch you," Asura said out of the blue. "You don't have to fear me Abby. I have a separate room in my apartment, you can stay there. There are clothes for you and you can take a hot bath. I won't touch you at all unless you ask me to." She paused, her eyes meeting Abby's with a hidden depth that was not there before. "Unless you want me to."

Abby's face burned as she shook her head and swallowed, the implications of Asura's words making her very uncomfortable as she struggled to think past the longing she felt suddenly to feel the woman's unique touch again. Never again, she told herself, forcing her mind to return to the pain that had accompanied that pleasure. Never. I can't... Not that. Not again.

"There's something else Asura," she said deciding to change the subject completely. "I also know about Lenelle."

She could tell immediately that she startled Asura for the alien lost all the allure she had a moment or two ago and sat back sharply, her eyes dark as she looked at Abby. "How is that possible?" she queried. "Has she approached you? Was it here?"

Abby blinked and shook her head. "No, I had a memory," she said. "Earlier today about when she approached you in the bar. You didn't want to go at first but… Then you did, I remembered that later today when I decided to come here. I saw you look at her address and go to her apartment. She gave you the names of the people that you needed to kill, didn't she?"

Asura's mouth was thin when she looked at Abby. When she broke contact, it was only to take a sip of her tea before she turned back to her. "Yes," she said quietly. "Have you told anybody of her address? Who did you tell about her?"

Realizing that she had to be very cautious of her answer, Abby shook her head. "I didn't tell anybody where she lives," she said. "I didn't think that she'd still be there. How does she know Asura? Are you just following her word blindly? What? How does she know?"

Looking away, Asura glared at the shop around them before she turned her gaze back to Abby. "Abby you shouldn't be concerned about that," she said. "My business with Lenelle is between us."

Angry suddenly, Abby pointed an accusing finger at Asura. "I trusted you to come here," she hissed. "I've probably messed up the only good thing that I had going in this world by coming here because I purposefully went behind Commander Shepard's back, even though she asked me not to. She's a much better person than any of us so that's pretty big Asura. The least you can do is trust me enough to tell me about this. I want to know how she gets the names that she gives you. Otherwise I'm going back to the Normandy right now and you'll never see me again."

Asura's mouth thinned as she leaned forward, her eyes unreadable as she looked at Abby. "Are you threatening me?" she said softly.

Abby sniffed sharply and shook her head. "No Asura," she said. "I'm asking you to trust me."

The asari looked at her for a long time, then sat back suddenly with a dry laugh. "You're something else Abigail," she whispered and sighed, looking to the ceiling as she searched for words. "Yes, I get the names from Lenelle and I tend to only go after the people that she directs me at. She's better at discovering things; she's been at this a lot longer than I have. These people have been after her as well and, unlike with me, they actually managed to capture her but that allowed her to gain some inside information."

Abby hesitated not sure how to approach the subject further. "And is her information trust worthy?" she queried. "I mean, does she provide you with evidence?"

Asura shook her head but glared at Abby. "Why would she lie to me Abby?" she said. "She's just like me."

Again Abby hesitated. "You mean an Ardat Yakshi?" she queried. "She's a lot older than you are."

The asari nodded and drank the last of her tea. "She's over a thousand years old," she said. "She's been at this a while. It's… admirable."

Feeling uncomfortable, Abby shifted and drank some of her tea. She swallowed but chocked and started coughing. Asura stirred, making to stand up and help her but Abby held up a hand and shook her head when she managed to get her breathing under control.

"It's alright," she said. "Sorry, wrong way. Admirable? How so?"

Asura settled back but gave Abby a worried look. "She has a lot of control," she said. "Being what we are… it gets harder with age. She's been… Her self-control is just admirable."

Abby didn't think so, but didn't quite know how to tell Asura that. Shifting uncomfortably she grimaced and looked around the restaurant, trying to see if she could spot anybody from the Normandy or any mercenaries that looked as if they might be coming for them. When she didn't see anybody that she knew or who made her on edge she turned back to the asari, studying her carefully.

"Do you only go after the people that Lenelle gives you?" she queried. "Or do you do your own investigation as well? How many have you killed?" She bit her lip the moment she asked it but Asura didn't look too worried about answering it.

"Do you mean selected targets or all of those that I've had to kill in self defence as well?" Her eyes were bright when she looked at Abby.

The vet shifted uncomfortably and wondered whether she wanted to know. "Selected targets," she said. "I know how many you killed in your house."

Asura's face remained very neutral as she sat back. "Twenty," she said. "And their partners. I've gone after one whole ring within the Eclipse and Blue Suns mercs."

Twenty lives, Abby thought bitterly and wondered whether Asura had killed them all by melding with her. In a year?

"Do you think I'm a monster Abby?"

The vet looked up into the Ardat Yakshi's eyes and shivered. None the less, she sighed and shook her head, carefully reaching out to touch the woman's hand again. "No Asura," she said softly. "I don't think you are. If I did, I wouldn't have been here. I think that… I think that you've been through a terrible ordeal and that you've had to do what you did to try and… and justify it. Or make sense of it. Or yes, heck – to get your revenge. But…" She trailed off and looked away, withdrawing her hand from Asura's. The asari quickly reached out and grasped it again.

"But?" she queried. "Tell me Abby."

Grimacing, Abby shrugged and kept her gaze locked on the table in front of her. "But, I think that something's not quite right here," she said softly. "I just… I don't know. I think you've killed enough. Has killing all of these people made you feel any better? Do you feel any less pain over your family's death?" She looked up into the asari's eyes. "Or do you think that you've become a monster?"

Asura sat back surprised at her words. "I do what I have to do Abby," she said a bit defensively. "If it means becoming a monster then so be it."

Abby snorted and shook her head. "No Asura," she said sharply. "You're doing what you're being told to do. Killing with reason is one thing. I mean, that's what Justicars do. Now, I don't condone killing – at all. But, if there is justice in it then there's some place for it in this world. Look at Samara, the Justicar that travels with us. She has a code of thousands of mantras, telling her when she's allowed to kill. I killed pets every day, dogs that were too aggressive, too old or too sick to make it through another life. But, I didn't kill anything without reason. Samara doesn't either and she makes double sure of her facts before she executes anybody."

Asura's mouth was very thin as she looked at Abby and she had crossed her arms in front of her chest. "What are you saying Abby?" she queried softly, her voice soft and dangerous. Abby shivered as it seemed to caress her back and slice through her mind but she shook her head and made a point of leaning forward so that she could point her finger at Asura.

"When next you kill someone, make very sure of your facts Asura," she said. "You only met this Lenelle a year ago. And, I mean what's the coincidence? Two Ardat Yakshi meeting, one with information that the other one wants. Now, I'm not questioning her. I don't know her. But, I feel as if I know you and I can't help but feel that you've been manipulated."

Asura shook her head and glared at Abby. "You feel a lot for someone with nerve damage," she said bluntly.

Abby sniffed sharply and stood up abruptly, slamming her hand against the table. "Don't mock me," she snapped. "I know what I feel Asura and I tell you that this Lenelle is bad business. But don't listen to me. Heck, I shouldn't even be here. By rights, I should be dead. What do I know?"

Realizing that she had said the wrong thing, Asura grimaced and stood up slowly. "I'm sorry Abby," she said sincerely. "I didn't mean it that way. I'm very sorry."

Needing to take a breath to steady herself, Abby shook her head and turned away from Asura, feeling at a loss. She was overcome by a sense of despair, wondering what she was going to do with herself now. She wanted to leave but didn't want to risk going out of the restaurant on her own and she definitively didn't want to return to the Normandy. Shepard was going to be so mad and disappointed in her. And for coming out to do this? To have this conversation? I should've stayed...

"Abby?" Asura said again, softer this time. "Abby I'm sorry." She had stood up and had come over to the other side of the table, gently, carefully resting her hand on Abby's shoulder. The woman snorted and wanted to pull away from her but couldn't make herself do it. She hated to admit it, but Asura's touch made her feel better.

Calmer, more sure of herself.

In a strange way, it hurt.

She turned to look at the asari, wondering what to say to her. The hurt that she was feeling didn't go away as she sighed and dropped her gaze again, unable to find the words to express herself. Asura though, seemed to know what she wanted to do because she carefully pulled Abby closer and wrapped her arms around her in a strong embrace. Abby resisted at first but then she allowed herself to relax in her arms, resting her head against her chest where she could feel her heart beating. The world slowed down as her presence soothed Abby, enveloping her with a sense of completeness, as if she had found something that she had been looking for all her life. When Asura finally pulled away, she dropped her head to give Abby a kiss on the cheek but Abby, who wasn't sure what possessed her, turned her head so that the asari's lips could brush hers. The sensation lasted only a second, but it felt like a lifetime to Abby as her heart beat an excited taboo in her chest and she felt her body respond to the woman's touch. It was addicting and dangerous.

She pulled away before Asura did and bit her lip, turning her eyes down as Asura gently caressed her cheek. "Come home with me Abby," the Ardat Yakshi whispered. "Please."

Abby didn't know what to say, the promise of ecstasy almost too much for her to bear as she tried to find the strength to pull away from Asura. She was only vaguely aware of the world around them, of the distant shift of a chair. It was only when Asura stiffened that she dared to look up and then jumped startled, immediately pulling out of the Ardat Yakshi's grip.

Jack was standing there, her eyes bright with something dangerous as she stared at Asura. "Well, isn't this nice," she said and looked at Abby. "I knew you were nuts, but I didn't think that you were insane."

The End of Chapter 37