So this is short. I can only ask again that people let me know they are reading this. Thanks.
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In the end, he was almost disappointed.
Of course it would have been insane to say he wanted Seth to hurt him, to beat him, rape him...do any number of terrible things. Still, he couldn't help the thought that it would have been for the best.
It would have been the bloody ending fitting the bloody beginning.
It would have let him hate Seth completely, would have let him focus on that, that and physical pain -it would have distracted him from anything else.
As it was, the night was ending, the first hints of dawn hesitantly creeping through the closed curtains, and he was still no further than he had been hours ago. Trapped, stuck, like a butterfly trapped in a spider web. A spider which was currently lying right next to him without stirring.
Seth's breathing was even and flat. Spencer could only assume he had finally drifted into a shallow sort of sleep. There was no way of telling for sure; he had his back turned towards Seth, lying as far at the edge of the bed as the handcuffs and Seth's heavy arm around him would allow.
He wouldn't turn around. Instead he counted the man's breaths to distract himself from any other thought in his mind. 2078. 2079...
Yes, he had to be asleep. Still, Spencer almost couldn't bring himself to move, sick at the thought that the man would wake up again. He wouldn't be able to take any more of it, the arms hugging him tightly, desperate almost, the gravelly voice murmuring lies into his ear.
By now, he didn't doubt anymore that Seth would not give this up easily. He'd tried everything to repel him, to shake him up, to goad him even...but in the end, Seth, the man with the least ability to control his anger he knew -had proven to be stubborn as a stone wall. Ignoring all proof to the contrary he'd just kept on feeding his delusion, refusing to let Spencer go...or to stop talking...
he had never felt a truer form of torture. The stress had already begun to wear him down and to let his mind slip for just a second meant to feel himself fall back into the past, into the embrace of a lover. It was frightening how easy it would have been to let himself keep slipping, to just abandon sanity and the pain along with it. To give Seth what he wanted.
But he couldn't. He knew that. If not to save himself, he couldn't do that to the people who had fought and died to give him life.
He couldn't let their sacrifice be wasted like this.
So he held on, focusing on the only thing he manged to grasp properly: anger, resentment, hatred.
And he waited. Waited for Seth to finally give in to exhaustion. Then he waited some more.
He knew he'd only have one chance to do this right. Slowly, carefully, he finally turned around in Seth's embrace, his breath held until the man shifted to accommodate his motion. Seth's eyes remained closed, though he pulled him in a little tighter.
Spencer looked away from his features.
Instead he focused on his free hand at their waists. It wasn't much of an effort to move it ever so carefully, and maneuver it into Seth's pocket. In a matter of moments he held the key to his freedom -it was five minutes more before he dared to move enough to be able to open the handcuffs.
Heart racing, he barely held it together long enough to grab Seth's gun from next to his side of the bed.
xxx
Seth woke to the immediate realization that something was not right. Not, wrong-the-way-things-had-been-going-that-night-wro ng -but acutely wrong.
He blinked, catching a shadow moving above him, and reacted instantly by sitting up and reaching for his gun -or at least, he tried to.
The metallic rattle of handcuffs made his eyes snap open with alarm. Through the darkness, he was met with the blazing of shiny gun metal and teary hazel eyes. Spencer was free -more so, he was hovering over him, both hands clutching his gun.
Seth made to speak up but the words got stuck in his throat at the unmistakable sound of the gun's safety being released.
Changed the end a bit. I hope it's better now.