XXXVI.
I like Twilight Town. I like the mild weather and the hazy orange skies. I like the sound of the kids running around on their break, laughing and the sound of venders politely helping patrons. I don't even mind the gossip surrounding me, and even in this digital world I have infiltrated, there is a lot.
"No one knows where she came from, but I'm pretty sure she's here doing community service, she got kicked out of her last school." One whisper says.
"She sent naked pictures of herself to a boyfriend and he sent them to the whole school, so she's transferring here in the fall." Another says.
"Her parents sent her here to live with her aunt, because they don't want her anymore." Another whisper says. They're all cliché, sad, high school stereotypes, utterly unexciting, but I appreciate the effort. I tuck a strand of blonde hair behind my ear. Harlot, delinquent, reject, whatever they want to paint me as, that's fine, I listen, I'll laugh, and Axel probably will too when I get back to him. That's the one thing that brings me even a shred of comfort now. Knowing who I have waiting for me with open arms at home. That, and the sight of the golden haired boy, helping an elderly shop owner get her cat off of the roof of her shop.
Roxas looks so happy here, it almost feels dirty pretending to try to bring him back. Thank Twilight is all just that, a pretense. Nothing beyond sea salt ice cream, sunsets and summer vacation should make up this boy's life.
"We should ask her if she knows anything." Another blond boy says, not so quietly. A brunette girl swats his arm, a dangerous look in her green eyes.
"Hayner, you can't just point at people." The girl huffs.
"He's right though, Olette." A dark haired boy says to the girl, sheepishly. "Someone should talk to her."
"Oh, you?" Hayner teases. The dark haired boy laughs nervously.
"Are you kidding? I've heard she's pretty tough, I don't want to mess with her." He says, a little quieter than the first boy, Hayner.
"Roxas should go." Hayner claps his shoulder. My friend turns to his new friend, his fake friend, blue eyes narrowed.
"Thanks for volunteering me. Jerk." Roxas pouts. I want to stride over and throw my arms around him. I want to run to him and share with him everything I remember about this past summer, with him, me and Axel. I want to share memories of sitting on the clock tower eating ice cream after missions, memories of holding hands to keep each other tethered to reality. I want to share with him my world, a world that would be so incredibly different if he hadn't been around to shape it.
"Good luck, man." The dark haired boy smiles.
"Thanks a lot, Pence." Roxas rolls his eyes, all attitude—and I swear, he got that from me, these other three kids can fuck off. With sluggish footsteps, he traipses over to where I sit, at the base of one of the buildings, a dark pair of sunglasses on, a book in my lap, one leg stretched out in front of me. "Um, hey. It's Rueki, right?" I am unprepared for the amount of delight I feel as he says my name.
"Mmmhmm." Is all I get out, I know if I say anything else right now, I will squeal with joy like a child on Christmas day. Or burst into tears and plead with him to just come home. Or both.
"My friends and I, we were wondering…someone's been going around stealing _. Do you happen to know anything?" He asks, sheepishly, looking at me through his lashes. I think he looks adorable, like a, puppy dog. I bite back a laugh.
Fucking Dusks. Complete morons, in the absolute extreme. I think of Axel, pacing back and forth in our bedroom last night, grumbling to himself, running hands through his hair, knocking things over, roaring like a beast. I think of the fury that was unleashed inside of him when Xemnas suggested I learn how to summon them, and I understand Axel's fear.
"Dark magic is dangerous, Rueki. Especially when you don't even know basic magic. Use it sparingly, don't dive deep, and whatever you do, resist the call, got it memorized?" His words from last night, clipped and intense, ring through my head, as does the shattering of his expression when, with the wave of my hand, I called a Dusk to the room. I want to say that it was difficult, and that I didn't understand what he meant by the call. But it wasn't, and I do.
Even now, I think of the creatures skulking around in the darkness, whispering to me 'mistress' and vowing to serve me. Their voices echo, raspy and weak in my head, but the sensation that came with summoning them was not weak in the slightest. It burned beautifully, electrifying my being in the most delightful way possible. Dipping your toes in ice water on a hot summer day, the first breath after being under water too long, your first orgasm. None of that seems to hold a candle to feeling of using dark magic. That jolting sensation tantalizes me, begs for more. I want more. The rush, the beautiful surge of dark power. The promise, creeping at the edge of my consciousness 'mistress this entire world can be yours'. But the cynic in me, the part of me with a sense of logic, clings a little tighter to reality. This is how the apprentices lost their hearts and formed the original six. This will kill me if I let it.
Plus, despite the thrill of power, the Dusks have already proved to be incredibly stupid. Retrieve Roxas, I told them, bring him to me, I told them. What do I have now? A boy that cannot say the word 'photo' and a bunch of stupid shells slinking around with pictures of the boy. At least this one, I can genuinely blame on the Dusks.
"Huh. Wish I did, kid. That's shit luck." I say. He blanches, as though he has never heard a curse word before and I bite back a smirk. I have no idea who DiZ is, but I doubt he programed a town full of vulgar assholes.
No, if he did, he'd have to call that place 'The World That Never Was'.
"I'll help you look though." I offer, pushing myself upright. I push my sunglasses up, like a headband and tuck my book in the pocket my synthesis items go into. And what a book it was. Some pointless tome about darkness in the heart. I think for a moment that Axel might be proud of how well I am setting the stage, making it genuinely look like I am putting in effort, even though I'm rigging this whole damn thing to blow. "As long as your friends stop pointing at me, I mean does anyone in this town have any damn manners?" I watch Roxas bite back a smile. A cheeky bastard, through and through. Maybe somewhere underneath it all, my friend is still alive. I want to reach out and squeeze his hand and promise to make this right, like he did a thousand times for me. Instead, I cross my arms to my chest, restraining my hands.
"Um, yeah. I think we can mostly manage. Except Hayner, he was born in a barn." Roxas says, just loud enough for the other boy to hear.
"Hey!" Hayner whines. I snort.
"That's what you get for volunteering him, asshat." I tease, sticking my tongue out. It's silly, because I'm on a mission, but I feel so much more like a normal person now than I think I have ever felt.
"What did you say?" Hayner visibly prickles. I snort. A kid after my own heart. The brunette boy is doing a very poor job at choking down laughter.
"I like her, she called you out." The boy, Pence says.
"Someone needs to." The girl, Olette smiles.
"Oh, come on, who's side are you on?" Hayner sighs. The group of them laugh and I fight back the urge to throw my arm around Roxas' should in an attempt to assert dominance as the better best friend.
We exchange brief introductions, they seem sweet, but I know I'd forget their names tomorrow if I could bring Roxas back today. The group of them decide we need to go to a place called 'The Sandlot', to confront someone named Seifer.
"Thieves!" A white haired girl accuses them.
"That was low, y'know!" A musclehead, a tan dark haired boy snaps. A little creature of sorts, which looks like a Shadow wearing a wizard hat and robe, shakes its' head.
"Oh yeah?" Hayner snaps? That is when a boy, tan and muscular strides onto the scene, wearing a beanie hat, baggy pants, a long vest and—a crop top.
"Nice comeback, there blondie." The kid says.
"You literally have blonde hair sticking out of your hat." I mutter. Hayner chokes on a laugh and I think I might've been redeemed in his eyes.
"Hmm?" Seifer raises an eyebrow, looking me over. Then, with a smirk curled onto his lips, he regards the group. "Congratulations. You've got the delinquent new girl on your side."
"You're breaking my heart." I roll my eyes, my voice dripping in sarcasm. What a dick, I'll befriend these kids just to spite this asshole.
"You can give us back the _ now." Seifer says, completely brushing me off.
"Yeah! You're the only ones who would take it, y'know?" Musclehead asks.
"That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you lamers. So what did you do? Burn it?" Seifer asks.
"Are we literally not going to talk about the fact that this kid is wearing a crop top?" I mutter under my breath. Roxas offers me a conspiratorial smirk. My heart leaps in my chest.
"Not that we need some _ to prove that you're losers." Seifer replies.
"Replay." The white haired girl pipes up.
"Ha! Now you're talking!" He and his friends strike poses, preparing to fight and all I can think is that these are some seriously dumb kids. I think of how the girl's pose is weak, Musclehead is wide open, the little witch looking thing is nearly shaking in its own shoes and Seifer had a foam bat as a weapon. Cute, real cute. I've got a handful of grenades in my pocket that would take these assholes down in a real fight. I think if I rolled my eyes any harder, the sheer force would cause an earthquake. "I guess if you get on your knees and beg, maybe I'll let it slide."
"Do you even listen to yourself talk, or do you just pride yourself on being an insufferable douche?" I ask. Seifer's eyes narrow.
"There will be no vulgarity in my town." He growls. I turn to Hayner, because Roxas appears to be taking himself way too seriously.
"How old is this kid? Like seven?" I ask.
"I think maybe eight." Hayner grins. And there we are, being delightfully snarky, while Roxas is acting the fool. He takes a step forward and crouches down low. Dammit all, what is this kid doing?
"Roxas!" I don't know who scolds this kid louder, me or Hayner, but at least I have a new best friend on the backburner in case mine does anything else tragically embarrassing. Or in case….
No…I will need a new best friend. Mine can't come back no matter what.
I instantly feel sick. The lightness of this situation fades completely as Roxas picks up a blue foam bat and charges at Seifer.
I hear people shout things but I am trying so hard to catch my breath, to keep my vision clear, to wash away the cloudiness creeping at the edge. I concentrate, reaching into the depths of my mind, searching the crevices for the empathy link that was placed on me and Sora. I scour for Roxas and find only more fog.
I barely notice Roxas knock Seifer down. I certainly don't notice my friend defeat the asshole in the crop top.
"Seifer's not feeling so hot, y'know?" Musclehead asks.
"Tournament decides." The girl says. My heart stops hammering for a second as Pence raises the camera from his neck, to take a picture. And then, there come the Dusks.
Slinking through, without my command, they reach out and snatch the camera. In a split second, they slither through the air, a flurry of white and grey as they disappear toward the shops we just left.
"What was that?" Hayner balks. A bunch of dimwitted assholes, I think.
"The thief?" Olette asks. I turn to Roxas, surprised to find his eyes already on me.
"Do you know what those things are?" He asks me. I make a face. Lie, Rueki, come up with a lie Axel would be proud of. Come up with a lie that doesn't make it look like you're trying to save Roxas, just in case the Organization is listening.
"I've seen a few in the place I come from. They're real assholes. You ready to fight?" I ask him. He nods.
"Yeah. Let's do this."
He and I race, past the shops, through the woods and to…
I shouldn't be surprised. The Old Mansion. The place I met Naminé, months ago.
'…we have come for you, my liege…" I hear the Dusk's raspy voice tear through the air, and apparently, so does Roxas, whose eyes go wide.
"Are you their liege?" He asks.
"That's a negative." I say, after all, I am 'mistress'. He brandishes his bat and wastes no time charging in, impulsive and brave, just like the Roxas I knew before. The familiarity is comforting, but the fact that he doesn't do a lick of damage to the Dusk isn't. Not that the lesser Nobodies are particularly strong, however, if this one kicks Roxas around enough, he probably won't be feeling great.
"It's no use!" He huffs, running back over to me. For a second, I think to just do the work myself, pull out a grenade and call it good. But no, it can't be this easy, not if I'm going to say I really tried.
"You sure you don't have anything else to fight it with?" I ask. And maybe Roxas doesn't remember, maybe he has absolutely no idea who I am or what the Keyblade is. But his instincts do, his body knows. Memories or not, he is still a Keybearer. In his outstretched hand, the bat turns into a Keyblade. His eyes go wide as saucers, his pupils tiny as he looks down at the new blade. "Now that looks like it'll pack a punch."
"What…? What is this thing?" He turns over the blade in his hand. I nod in encouragement and he goes charging in. In only a few swings, the creatures are defeated and the photos and camera lay, spread across the grass. I walk over to them and scoop them up. I turn one photo over in my hand. A picture of Roxas with a blonde girl. Another one where Roxas is lying on the ground, defeated in battle by Seifer. Another and another, all of Roxas. I find it both impressive and alarming how expertly this world has been crafted around him. He's got friends, a backstory, a life. And none of it revolves around me, Axel or any of the other members of the Organization. The depths to which that breaks my heart disturbs me. He was never ours in the first place. He's Sora's other half, the borrowed time I got with him was beautiful but…
Maybe everything we ever had was always meant to end in tragedy.
"You okay?" I ask him, looking up with raised eyebrows.
"Um, yeah. You?" He asks. He closes the distance between us and I hand him the photos. Has he somehow grown even taller? It doesn't seem possible. I could cry. I reach a hand out to touch him, but freeze, half way. I sigh, my hand falling limply to my side before I offer him a pathetic smile.
"Yeah, all good." I nod.
"Thanks for helping." He says, nodding at me.
"No problem, what are friends for?" I ask. He seems to regard me for a second, head cocked and I think that rejection might literally kill me right now.
"You know, I never believed anything they say about you." Oh, right, the rumors. The rumors that I found funny only a little while ago. Funny, for as accommodating as the world is to him, it is quite the opposite to me. Acknowledging me, but rejecting me like the blemish upon every group that I am in. Too cold for Del and Amaya, too emotional for Organization XIII, too wicked for Sora, Donald and Goofy. The only time I think I've ever felt any semblance of connection was on the clock tower, my head tossed back laughing with Axel on one side of me and Roxas on the other.
"That's okay." I shrug. "You can tell them it's true anyway. Might as well, maybe it'll make Seifer lay off you guys if he thinks your new friend is a badass." Roxas cracks a grin as I say this.
"Thanks. I think I can handle that guy though." Roxas says. He goes to head out and then turns back to me. "Are you coming?"
"I should get heading home. I've got some people waiting for me." I confess, looking for a hint of something, a trace of remembrance.
"Okay, see you tomorrow." Is all he offers.
"Yeah?" I ask. He nods.
"We're friends now, right?" We've been friends. The past year of your life, you've been my best friend, I want to scream.
"Yeah." I say. He doesn't turn back to look at me even once as he heads back into town. But I don't shed a tear, instead, with the wave of my hand, I call the Dusks back, a fire in my eyes.
"The hell was that?" I snap.
'…mistress…'
'….mistress was in trouble…'
'…mistress needed help….'
'…yes help…'
'…much help…'
'…yes much…'
'…couldn't breathe, couldn't see…'
'…frail, needed much help…'
Oh, my panic attack. Stupid, stupid creatures.
"No, I didn't need help, I was fine." I correct.
'…couldn't see, couldn't breathe..'
'…brought mistress the Key of Destiny…'
'…yes, brought him to mistress…'
'…the Superior of the In-Between would be proud…'
'…yes, much gratitude…'
'…saved mistress…'
"Oh shut the fuck up." What a waste of time. "You brought me fucking photos." But it's not worth wasting my breath, I know. I do notice however that I can now say 'photo', so whatever spell they cast on this world must be undone. "Be gone." I order and they disappear in a flash of darkness, just as a portal opens in front of me. I don't know who opened it, or how the Organization knows my day is done, but I walk through the portal. I come out inside the throne room. Every member sits in their thrones, eyes baring down on me. I look up to Axel, offering him a half smile.
"Status update." Saix demands. To spite him, my eyes stay on Axel.
"There's a teenage boy that lives in that world, right? Paints himself like a total badass. Wears a crop top." I tell Axel, who cracks a wicked grin that I can see even at this distance.
"Yeah?" He asks. "Tell me more, beautiful."
"Status update?" Saix repeats, his tone more clipped and aggravated.
"There are rumors about me too, the town accommodated my existence. Now I'm the new girl in town, swirled in a veil of secrets. Am I a hoe? Am I a delinquent? Has my family cast me aside and sent me to live with my estranged aunt? We may never know." I grin at Axel, who quite literally bursts out laughing. He is not the only one though. Xigbar laughs, wildly, Demyx giggles like a child, even Luxord chuckles, smiling softly at me. And I don't trust him, but I forgive him, I suppose.
"A status update, Rueki, if you please." Xemnas finally cuts in. I set my hands on my hips.
"Oh, so you do talk? I thought you just let your guard dog bark. So I decided to catch my boyfriend up on my day, thank you very much." I say flatly. "Roxas has no fucking clue who I am. Absolute zero memories, and believe me, I tried. The Dusks are hella useless, in case you were wondering. I told them 'go get Roxas, bring him back', since your lackies are supposed to be helpful. They stole some pictures of the fucking kid. So congrats, the dark magic has been super helpful."
"Then perhaps it is time for you to learn to summon greater Nobodies." Xemnas offers, his eyes darting to Axel's. I don't even need to turn to see the deadly glare in Axel's eyes.
"He doesn't remember her, what do you want Rueki to do, kill the kid?" Axel heaves a sigh.
"Of course not. But if the girl does not feel her own strength is adequate and must rely on Nobodies, perhaps she needs to call upon more force." Xemnas says. "We have nothing but help to offer her."
"Mmm. Right." I roll my eyes at the same time Axel says "what a load of shit." Dear Twilight, I have never been so turned on by my man. My eyes flick back to his, I grin wildly. He offers me a wink. I could melt on the floor.
"A Twilight Thorn should suffice. I trust she will catch onto summoning that as easily as she did a Dusk. Or do you predict otherwise, VIII?" Xemnas asks, a glint in his eye. Axel's eyes harden.
"No, I think she'll do fine. Are we done here?" Axel sighs. Xemnas gives the slightest nod of his head and Axel teleports down to me. He wraps his hand around my arm.
"And Rueki. Perhaps tomorrow you should consider the pain you felt when Sora's memories disappeared in Castle Oblivion. Do you think you can physically endure the agony of losing someone so much closer to you?" Xemnas' voice rings through the room. Axel doesn't waste another second in getting us out of the room.