Fall Of The White Lotus
Chapter 36: Calling
Music: Love & Loss, Two Steps From Hell
The darkness of the night had yet to make place for the first murky signs of daybreak when Katara and Zuko readied Appa for their flight towards the Fire Nation. They had led him back to where he'd landed the first time, just outside the ruins of Taku near the fringes of the woods, after taking leave of the old herbalist.
As Zuko checked the reins Katara looked up at the night sky, loose strands of hair blowing around her face. Her blue eyes searched and found the constellations of Ursa Major and Ursa Minor having moved to the west during the night.
Katara frowned slightly. Although part of her was unexpectedly excited at the prospect of seeing the Fire Nation again, for Zuko it would be harder to stay incognito. And there were still many places where Princess Ursa could be, despite the Fire Nation not being a large country by comparison. Her eyes stayed to rest on the brightest star of Ursa Minor. The Pole Star. An ancient seamen's guide and symbol to her nation. Its bluish light was now calling Zuko home.
Katara went to help Zuko with tightening the girth when the faint sound of drums broke the wintery silence of the woods.
The travellers jerked up their heads to the ominous sound which they had heard before when they'd first arrived in Taku but hadn't afterwards. Until now.
"They're using the same rhythm again," Zuko said quietly as he put his hand on Appa's wither to calm him down. "It still sounds familiar."
"The drums are calling out to you," the old voice of the herbalist suddenly spoke up from behind them and they spun around to see the old woman leaning on her stick with an indulgent smile on her face. With a soft thud Miyuki landed next to her, a bright snow white spot against the dark forest.
The herbalist craned her neck to look up at the ancient trees.
"More than one hundred years ago, when the Fire Nation demolished this city, some of the inhabitants managed to escape and went into hiding within the dense woods surrounding the city. To prevent their people falling into the hands of the Fire Nation they split up into small groups living separately from each other. The drums became their means of communication.
"With the passage of time the sound of the drums became legendary and feared by the Fire Nation. Among the survivors were some members of the Order of the White Lotus, guardians of the Temple of the White Lotus in the middle of the city. It is said that these people and their descendants stayed in contact with the Spirit World, who would pass on messages for the drummers to convey."
Tilting her head the old woman listened to the repeating rhythm vibrating through the quiet forests. "It seems as though they're playing a song. In all of my years of listening to the drums, I've never heard them play music before. The spirits must be wanting to pass a message to you."
"That's right, wise woman."
Appa grumbled low down his throat but didn't move when a boy suddenly stepped out of the greenish black dusk of the forests. The travellers had to look hard to discern the boy from his surroundings. He had a lithe posture and wore clothes in a similar sombre brown green as the woods.
When he came closer they noticed that he was about fourteen years old. His brown hair was pulled back in a small topknot and in his pale face his almond, green eyes stood out. A few feet before Zuko and Katara he came to a stop and warily eyed the travellers. Then he made a curt Earth Kingdom bow.
"My name is Taiko and I am a descendant of the mayor of Taku, whose youngest son managed to escape the annihilation more than a hundred years ago. I'm here on behalf of the people of the drums to greet the descendant of the Fire Lord who burned down the city."
A shadow passed over Zuko's features and Taiko's eyes stayed to rest upon Zuko. "It's true then, a new leader of the Fire Nation has ascended to the throne. A Fire Lord who is said to be friends with the Avatar."
"It's true." Zuko slightly bowed his head in acknowledgment. "My name is Zuko and I count Avatar Aang to my closest friends."
He felt that Katara lightly placed her hand on his upper arm and something flashed in the boy's eyes. He'd recognized the waterbender accompanying the Fire Lord. His features relaxed somewhat as he curiously looked at the young man standing in front of him. What he saw surprised him.
The Fire Lord didn't resemble the pictures of Fire Lords Taiko had been brought up with. The firebender had seen only a few more springs than he himself and although his features were a bit reserved there was nothing grim of fearfully intimidating about him. Instead Taiko saw an undercurrent of kind-heartedness in the Fire Lord's wary gaze he'd never expected to see with a firebender. His messy hair falling in his eyes concealed the most interesting part of the young man's face - a fiery scar shaped like a flame which had disfigured his eye and - underneath his black hair - probably his ear, too. He was surprised to see a marring like that on the face of the ruler of a nation.
"You're different," Taiko established without further explanation, but Zuko nodded nonetheless.
"I try to be," he said seriously and then turned his gaze towards the ruins of the city below.
"I'm deeply sorry for what the Fire Nation has done to this city, which has been the start of the Hundred Year War. But I'm equally as sorry to see the city still abandoned now that the war has ended."
Taiko bowed his head.
"It has been a long time since the people of the drums have lived in a city and there's no one left of the original refugees to remember the events of a hundred years ago. Their descendants have turned into people of the woods. It's not a natural thing for my people to be going back to Taku anymore. But then the spirits announced your coming to the Taku and asked us to play the rhythm you've heard. A rhythm containing a message for you. I wanted to meet you and decided to show myself to you."
This elicited a small smile from Zuko. Though he agreed with the boy that not everyone would follow Taiko's decision to come down the trees he could very well be heralding the return of the inhabitants to this region.
"If your people should decide to rebuild Taku, I will gladly offer aid when needed."
A small smile lit up Taiko's face. "Thank you. But perhaps that won't be necessary. Sometimes the past should stay the past. There's a small Fire Nation settlement in a valley a few miles up north. Some of us are considering going there."
Zuko inclined his head in acknowledgement, noticing this was another example of how the lives of citizens of both nations in this region had become intertwined by working together, living in the same neighborhoods and even marrying each other. Things weren't as simple as Earth King Kuei assumed with his demand that the Fire Lord remove the Fire Nation colonies from Earth Kingdom soil.
He made a formal Earth Kingdom bow to which the boy responded.
"It was good to have met with you, Your Majesty," Taiko smiled.
Then the boy disappeared between the endless sea of black pine trees, accompanied by the sound of mysterious drums slowly fading away.
Katara woke to the sound of waves gently rolling onto land and a salty sea breeze coming in through the slightly opened windows. The next thing she noticed were the luxurious silk sheets caressing her skin and the soft bed she was resting on. Opening her eyes, she stared at an ornately carved, slender pillar, the last in a row, its shiny ebony painted with red and gold decorations.
She definitely wasn't in the Earth Kingdom anymore.
Drowsily, she tried to remember falling asleep in this heavenly bed, but she could only remember images of the sea between the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation mainland while the sun described a perfect arc above them. A light frown appeared on her features as she remembered the last time she'd passed Zuko Appa's reins when it was her turn to get some sleep.
He'd silently gone to sit beside her, wrapped his cloak around her stiff and weary body and had taken over the reins. His hands had lingered on her cold ones as he'd raised his temperature and let his warmth flow towards the cold waterbender. The moment her body had started to relax against him he'd wrapped a strong arm around her and helped her down to the saddle. She remembered a tender look in a pair of amber eyes, a whispered, "Sleep well, Katara," and now she'd woken up in this strange Fire Nation environment.
Although, strange… There was something familiar about this place. Pushing her hands into the soft mattress, she sat up straight and looked around, fully awake now.
She was right, it did look familiar.
Katara threw back the silk sheets and blankets, swinging her legs out of bed. Almost automatically she slipped into the pair of silk slippers she found next to the bed, peeking red and gold from underneath the light green slip she was still wearing. Her outer robes lay on a chair on the other side of the room.
She crossed the large, ornate room shrouded in half-light and stopped before the window. For a moment she hesitated but then opened the heavy, brocade curtains with a powerful movement. Sunlight poured into the room and when her eyes had adjusted to the light she noticed that she had a wide view on a silvery beach and the light blue sea, the gentle breeze causing the calm waves to sparkle.
A beach house.
Slowly, she turned back around and as she gazed into the room realization started to dawn on her. She'd seen this room before, albeit only once.
It was a spacious room, with ebony, carved pillars supporting a dark wooden ceiling. The heavy environment was somewhat adjusted to the little boy who used to sleep here, with fragments of old Fire Nation sagas painted on the ceiling. Katara let her gaze wander across dragons flying gracefully through downy clouds, red temples rising from lush subtropical forests and the sun, held by the frightful spirit Katara recognized as Agni, captured in glistening gold paint. The room was dominated by a large bed - much too spacious for a grown man, let alone for a small boy - guarded by four bedposts with red and blue dragons curling around them, holding up a red silk canopy.
His old bedchamber.
He must have carried her upstairs, stripped off her outer robes and put her to bed. The thought made something flutter in her stomach.
"I brought us to Ember Island," a voice, hoarse from sleeping, sounded from the bed. She turned around to see him emerging from the blankets.
A small smile appeared on Katara's lips. Of course, a night's sleep was lost when they couldn't be near each other. How they would ever manage after their journey had ended she didn't know. He blinked against the angry sunlight streaming in and got up. Katara watched him as he came over to where she was standing by the window. He had tossed off the green robes but hadn't bothered to change out of the puffy light green trousers.
Katara couldn't help her gaze trailing from his sleepy face to his bare chest, lingering on the star shaped scar just below. Despite having seen him like this many times before she felt her ears turn red as he rested his hands on the windowsill, looking at the sea below. Hugging her arms to her body she followed his gaze in an attempt to distract herself from him.
"Why?" She asked.
"I didn't know where else to go, really," Zuko confessed. "During the winter the beach house isn't used, so all staff are gone. I believe there's one housekeeper checking the place every other week. And it has been a good hide out before."
Katara smiled at the memory, relieved that he didn't seem to notice her awkwardness around him then glanced at the room behind him.
"You've fixed up the place quite nicely," she commented and a big grin appeared on Zuko's pale features.
"Yeah, I didn't want to resort to Li and Lo's beach cabin anymore, now that I'm the Fire Lord," he said casually as he straightened up and to Katara's relief folded his arms before his chest.
Katara grinned in amusement although she had the feeling that this wasn't the only reason he had restored the beach house to its old glory.
"But you're still not using the Grand Chambers, aren't you?"
His face darkened slightly, then he said coldly, "Let's just say I didn't want to spill a lot of money on the huge modifications needed for me to use them."
He sighed as he looked out the window. "Coming here seemed like a good idea since I would probably be immediately recognized anywhere else. Which brings me to our next problem -"
"- We don't know where to find your mother in the Fire Nation," Katara finished his sentence for him as she frowned. "I know. I have thought about it during the trip across the sea."
"And?" He looked at her expectantly, his gaze a little hopeful, but Katara sighed. "I honestly don't know. I'm not Sokka. The stars brought us to the Fire Nation. We're in the Fire Nation now, but I don't have a clue where to start searching."
"How many days do we have left?" Zuko's eyes looked up at the sun, estimating its seasonal position in the sky. Even in the Fire Nation the days would shorten during winter.
"A week only," she said softly, not entirely succeeding to keep the worry out of her voice. "And then fall will make place for winter."
"A nice cup of jasmine tea can do miracles for the weary mind."
General Iroh neatly manoeuvred around his desk and handed the young Avatar and his earthbending teacher a cup of steaming Monkey King tea.
"Careful, it's still hot," he cheerily warned them. Each one of the teens was sitting on either side of the large desk with the black statue of the grinning monkey sitting in the middle. Aang eyed him suspiciously.
This morning he had seen Iroh looking at them thoughtfully.
"Slept well?" He had asked, his voice betraying nothing but the words chosen were too specific to be only conversational. The Grandmaster had seemed glad with their well-rested appearance. Therefore Aang thought there was more to his slightly pressing invitation to have tea with him in his study this afternoon, after he had cleared the pathway of snow.
Toph took an absent-minded sip from her tea, her unseeing eyes resting on the statue in front of her.
"It laughs," she then suddenly stated, pulling Aang from his mistrust towards the Grandmaster of the Order of the White Lotus. "I've heard it before. And now it laughs again."
Aang had noticed before that the sturdy earthbender possessed a certain sensitivity when it came to the spiritual world, but she always managed to surprise him with her clear observations. They went far beyond Katara's empathy for him and every time she exhibited this level of understanding of his world his heart went out to her.
"That, my child, is because the statue is a portal, a means of communication with the Spirit World," Iroh explained to her. "The statue of the grinning monkey is just that - the personification of the Monkey King on earth. The Monkey King was a powerful but proud demon who eventually even defied the Jade Emperor in heaven.
"After being taken prison, he was sent to fulfil a journey to the west with three other disciples. Those were the Commander of the Heavenly Naval Forces, banished for flirting with the Princess of the Moon, the Great General Who Folds the Curtain, banished for dropping a crystal goblet of the Heavenly Queen Mother and the third was the Prince of the Dragon-King, sentenced to death for setting fire to his father's great pearl, but saved from execution."
Wearily, he closed his eyes.
"A journey to the west, in both the physical and the spiritual worlds," the Dragon of the West then mumbled, more to himself then to his quiet listeners. A soft giggle echoed through the study as dark shadows created by the sombre, grey daylight, danced across the rice paper doors.
Abruptly, General Iroh got up and waved with the scroll he'd just picked up from his desk.
"Well… I have this letter to read, and since you two will remain in the study, I'll retreat to my bedroom."
He headed for the door, ignoring Aang's sharp gaze resting on the Earth Kingdom and White Lotus seals on the parchment. His footsteps died away, as he left them with the hideous monkey statue prominently placed between them.
For a moment the two teens didn't move, then Toph sighed. "Does it still snow? I can't tell, it's been ages since I've been outside."
Aang cast a look outside the window, to see what he already knew. It was still snowing. Ba Sing Se was going through one of the most severe winters in decades. Once a week Aang would clear a pathway through the snow for Iroh's manservant to get them groceries and then he saw how the city had shut down and services had been cut back to the bare necessities.
He averted his gaze to Toph, the tough Blind Bandit who had been forced to stay inside because of the nightmares draining her strength. At least last night had brought back some color to her pale features.
A mixed look of sympathy and hopelessness passed over Aang's face as he watched his dear friend, who had become so fragile over the past couple of weeks and suddenly he pursed his lips.
"Let's go, Toph. I know a place where we can make huge snowmen and you can easily reach the rocks underneath the snow. I don't think Iroh would mind us going into the Spirit World a little later."
Toph's eyes widened slightly and Aang snorted. "Come on, you need it."
With one quick movement, he grabbed his glider and opened the windows. A stream of fresh, ice cold wind entered the room. Jumping on the windowsill Aang held out his hand to Toph, who had put down her cup of tea, a doubtful look in her eyes. Then she hesitantly rose to her feet, put her hand into Aang's and the old mischievous look returned into her empty gaze. Aang smiled warmly and the statue chuckled softly as the glider and its passengers took off.
Quietly the heavy mahogany door slid open and Katara felt her feet sink away in the soft carpet when she stepped into another elaborately decorated, spacious bedroom.
Zuko had taken her to the chambers across from his own, where she could change her Earth Kingdom robes for less conspicuous Fire Nation ones and use the adjacent bathroom to freshen up.
Katara looked around.
The opposite of Zuko's this room was covered with gold Fire Nation insignia and red banners wherever she looked. A huge canopy bed on a platform dominated the enormous space, again crowned with a gleaming gold flame.
"I've decided to keep the room as it is for now," Zuko's voice quietly spoke up next to her and Katara turned around slightly. His face betrayed nothing, but she saw the conflict in his eyes as they passed over the banners and gold flames.
This used to be Azula's room, belonging to the Fire Princess whom on more than one occasion had tried to destroy him.
His little sister.
"Just before my father was crowned Fire Lord and we stopped coming here, she'd asked to have her room redecorated this way," he said quietly and Katara sympathetically put her hand on his arm, squeezing it lightly. Her hand lingered long enough to feel the warmth radiating through his smooth skin before she reluctantly withdrew.
"Azula, how is she?"
He shrugged. "Pretty much the same. The healers are checking up on her regularly and are keeping her calm with herbs. Most of the times when I visit her, she doesn't even recognize me. And when she does…" He shuddered and shook his head, trying to get rid of the memories plaguing his mind right now.
"Anyway -"
A small reassuring smile tugged at his lips as his gaze crossed Katara's worried one.
"I've had some of her clothes brought over here just in case. That's her wardrobe over there and you'll find her bathroom behind that door. I'll leave you to it now."
It felt strange being back in the beach house where Team Avatar had gone into hiding while waiting for the comet to arrive. It had been here that Aang had become a firebender under the watchful eyes of his earthbending and waterbending teachers.
In three years time a lot had changed though. Back then the house had been a dump - old glory fallen into disrepair, a place which the owners for very different reasons had tried to erase from their memories. The air had been thick with dust and echoes of a long lost past.
Now, the grandeur of the mundane beach resort had been restored. The richly decorated pillars and ceilings as well as the mosaic parquet floors were gleaming again and the broken-down furniture had been replaced. It was a beach house worthy of the Fire Lord but in comparison to the Fire Nation Royal Palace there was still something intimate about the place the overwhelmingly intimidating palace in Royal Caldera City was lacking. Katara understood why most of Zuko's best memories actually lay here, far from Capital City.
As Katara walked down the empty corridors she peeked into the rooms and noticed that the most precious pieces of furniture were covered with white sheets, the beach house already having been closed for the upcoming winter season like Zuko had said.
Going down the grand mahogany staircase Katara noticed that the front doors were wide open, to let in fresh air. During fall the weather on Ember Island was still very warm, but not as searing hot as during the summer weeks they had spent on the island before. Three years ago, the front doors had been heavily damaged. Someone had forced himself a way into the beach house in an act of unbelievable anger and with furious strength. She'd decided against mentioning it though since Zuko didn't either.
Together with Sokka he had set to fixing the front doors while her steps had led her through the beach house following an urge to learn more about Zuko's past, feeling that the house could tell what the closed boy couldn't or wouldn't. On the second floor corridor she'd noticed a mysterious light spot on the darkened wood of the wall and for a while she'd been staring at it thoughtfully, understanding that whomever had forced his way into the beach house before had also taken away the painting that used to hang here, the light spot on the dark wood silent witness of the crime.
When she'd finally came down she'd found Zuko and Sokka sitting on the doorsteps, talking.
Their silhouettes had been dark against the setting sun, while their expressions hidden from view. Involuntarily, she'd come to a stop, suddenly compelled to listen to the soft, unintelligible mumbling, wondering why the sound of them talking relaxed her, their voices hushed and deeper than normal.
Sokka had seemed quieter, more mature as he'd been talking to the older boy next to him and Katara had had to blink twice to know that it wasn't Hakoda but her goofy brother who had been sitting there. Zuko on the other hand had looked younger and more vulnerable, having lowered his guard while talking with Sokka, their tools lying next to them.
An inexplicable surge of jealousy and hurt had surged through her at seeing them sitting together like brothers and before she knew it, she'd stepped forward to interrupt the conversation.
Upon Katara's sudden arrival the boys had jumped up in surprise, the peaceful atmosphere immediately gone. Zuko had looked at her with slight apprehension in his eyes while Sokka's reproachful look she had chosen to ignore.
Katara entered the flight of stairs leading to the main door and leaned against the doorpost. Zuko was standing in the surf of the ocean which had almost claimed his life when he was three years old until he was saved by his father. He was lost in thought, as the lukewarm breeze played with his black strands and the sun cast a gentle glow on the silvery beach behind him. He had changed into one of his dark red wrap shirts and a pair of loose knee length trousers. It was strange seeing him wearing Fire Nation clothes again.
As she watched the waves of the sea breaking around Zuko's ankles, she suddenly realized with painful clarity what he and Sokka must have been talking about those three years ago before she'd stepped out of the shadows with her arms crossed and the corners of her mouth pointing downward.
Their fathers.
Katara's features darkened as she cringed at her behavior back then, cursing herself for having been so selfish and unfeeling. She also knew that Zuko had seen right through her, having noticed the understanding flashing in his eyes when he'd noticed how upset she was. The memory of the Crystal Caves of Ba Sing Se she had seen mirrored in his look.
Unlike her, he'd been gracious about it though and had refrained from calling her to account. Instead he'd started to seek her out more often to talk or just to sit together in companionable silence.
On such a moment, he'd told her about the wave that had surprised him here at the beach and had carried him out into the sea when he'd been trying to rescue a turtle crab from an eagle hawk and hesitated when he'd understood that he was condemning the eagle hawk to starve. La had made the decision for him when the wave had engulfed the young prince and the turtle crab he'd been holding. Katara remembered she'd been surprised by the strong morality he'd displayed already at such a young age and a disturbing thought had fleetingly crossed her mind - if she were to have a son one day, she hoped he would be like him.
Heaving a sigh in regret, Katara looked down at the ground and suddenly caught the small, forgotten disk, tossed behind one of the palm trees flanking the main entrance. Lifting her eyebrows, Katara picked it up and was surprised to see that it was some kind of tablet, made of clay. A child's hand was pressed into it.
Gingerly she touched the clay with a slender finger. The small hand had made a deep imprint with little fingers meticulously having been spread out. Katara eyes widened in surprise when she noticed the characters below, depicting the child's name. Zuko.
Her fingers closed around the handprint as Katara walked down the path leading to the beach below, noticing that even the subtropical rock garden surrounding the path had been newly laid out. Reaching the beach she slid out of her delicate slippers, enjoying the soft feeling of the warm silver-sand embracing her feet and quietly approached her travelling companion.
"You know, it's been three years but I'm still wondering what was on the painting that used to hang in the second floor corridor."
Zuko looked up in surprise when Katara popped up next to him, having changed into the first thing to her liking from Azula's wardrobe, choosing from beautiful dresses his sister had never used.
She was wearing a sleeveless sundress that left her taut stomach bare though this one wasn't as revealing as the dress she'd used to wander around in three years ago. The light silk clung to her figure in a way that subtly emphasized her curves, the gold embroidery trimmings making her perfect tan skin seem to flow into the clear red of her dress. The sunlight reflecting on the water seemed to deepen her cerulean eyes and cast a golden glow on her gleaming curls cascading down her small shoulders.
It had been long since he had seen Katara wearing Fire Nation clothes and his pulse quickened at the sight, just like the last time she'd appeared before him wearing his colors - even though back then it had been that... circus dress. He could never find it in his heart to tell her.
Now he had to resist the urge to run his fingers down the soft skin of her bare shoulder and bury his face into her curls.
"My family was," he quietly answered her question. "It was a family portrait, of my parents, my sister and me. When I visited Ember Island with Azula, Mai and Ty Lee I broke into the house and tore the picture off the wall."
"When was that?" Katara turned around to look at him fully, searching his gaze.
"Just before I sought out you guys at the Western Air Temple." He sounded a bit ashamed. "I threw the picture into the fire I had made on the beach."
Katara didn't seem to judge him though, looking past him with a thoughtful gaze in her eyes.
"Well, that explains it," she then mumbled.
"Explains what?"
"The black spot on the beach near the sea. I noticed it when we were staying here, waiting for Sozin's Comet to arrive."
"It was a big fire," Zuko mumbled, thinking back of the flames licking the dark night sky where there was now only soft, white sand. It had been the night the four of them had revealed some of their deepest secrets to each other and he had urged Mai to become more… lively. Only now he realized he had actually wanted her to be more like Katara.
Katara wound one of her long dark brown curls around her finger as she took in the rocky landscape with the beach house resting against the hillside shielded by a sharp cliff hovering above it. It was the biggest house in the area. Strangely she hadn't noticed it before.
"I can only imagine what it would be like, being on holiday with Azula and Mai and Ty Lee," she said delicately, gently pulling him from his thoughts.
Zuko looked at her from the corner of his eye. Katara's face betrayed nothing, but there was something about her gaze that made his lips curl in an amused smile. "Are you curious?"
Katara jerked up her head. "No…! It's just that… you've never really talked about it before… and… and…"
"… you were curious," he finished the sentence for her, a smile glistening in his eyes.
The annoyed frown on Katara's face disappeared immediately and she laughed with him. "Well, I guess I am."
"There isn't much to tell, really," Zuko said honestly. "We came here, because we were sent away by our father, who didn't want us near his war meetings. We arrived, the cabin smelled like old ladies, on the beach I threw an ice cream in Mai's lap…"
"You did what?" Katara chuckled.
"Hey, I never said I was handy," Zuko defended himself.
"The look on her face must have been priceless," Katara sniggered.
Zuko didn't answer but for an unintelligible muttering and the waterbender let her gaze wander across the beach, her mind flooding with memories.
"Wouldn't it be nice to have a Team Avatar reunion here? The place where the ending of the war began," she contemplated a bit wistfully and Zuko momentarily let his gaze rest on her slightly melancholic features before he responded quietly, "I was actually planning on inviting you all, after -"
He cut himself off, his expression darkening but it was already too late.
Katara felt an inexplicable pang of fear in her stomach when she looked up at him. "After what?"
He closed his eyes for a split second before he responded on a low voice.
"After Mai and I got married next summer."
His words knocked the breath out of her. Suddenly, everything reeled before her eyes and an all-consuming, excruciating pain ripped through her. Blindly, her hand went to touch her necklace, tremblingly her searching for the familiar velvet band around her neck, as she tried to swallow back the rising bile.
Her mouth formed a silent, "No..." which Zuko failed to see as he had his gaze fixed at the horizon.
With just a few words Katara's world had collapsed around her.
The past few weeks of travelling with Zuko had awoken a feeling deeply rooted in the recesses of time where it had started as the recognition of a kindred spirit crossing the boundaries of their antagonizing positions. Never having been allowed to develop after the war had ended the feeling had stayed dormant until they had been sent on this journey together and Katara's wilted heart had recognized what had drawn her towards the firebender in the past. From her rediscovery of their silent understanding of each other something had blossomed beyond her control, fuelled by his tender looks, his quiet attention for her and the hesitant touches and two kisses filled with fiery longing.
But in the end all of it had been one big misunderstanding from her part.
And why shouldn't it be? It was only normal that Zuko would want to marry Mai, who had been his girlfriend for three years now. The noble girl he had known all of his life. The time was appropriate, with Zuko having turned twenty this summer. At least his mother hadn't been much older when she got married and the Fire Nation needed an heir. Preferably more than one.
To be honest, he'd been suspecting an upcoming proposal from Aang as well, judging by his sneaking around with carving knives and precious stones.
So, why was it that she wanted to scream in agony right now?
Blinking away her tears Katara turned to look at Zuko whose face had hardened as he gazed unseeingly at the seawater washing away the sand from underneath his feet. Her fingers tightening around the handprint she was holding.
"Should…" Her voice was barely more than a whisper and she tried again, forcing the words from her mouth, her voice hoarse. "Should… should I congr…"
"What is it that you're holding in your hand?" Zuko suddenly roughly interrupted her, taking a hold of her hand.
He pried away her cramped fingers to reveal the handprint resting in her palm.
For a moment he was silent, then he said, "So, this time you've found something that actually does belong to my childhood."
It was a mild jab referring to that time Katara had showed him the cheerful picture of a pretty baby, which had turned out to be an old picture of his father. But Katara didn't fail to hear to the ring of bitter regret in his voice which couldn't possibly have to do with the handprint she'd just found.
An infinite weariness suddenly passed over his features when he elaborated on a soft tone, "My mother made it when I was about a year and half old, when we were on holiday on Ember Island, with my uncle and Lu Ten."
With a gentle gesture he folded her fingers back around the tablet, his warm hand staying to rest there and again Katara felt the tears prick behind her eyes.
"I really don't know where to start searching," he confessed softly, a little despair creeping into his voice.
Despite her inner turmoil Katara felt her heart wrench for him and after a moment of hesitation pulled him against her. A shiver went through his body in response to her sudden closeness and as his head came to rest on her shoulder their hearts met in a mutual rhythm.
But Katara bitterly closed her eyes and willed herself to accept that this embrace could be nothing more to him than an act of comfort.
"I know," she whispered into the air. "We've come to the point where the trail has ended."
A/N: When this chapter was first published it was when the famous factoid had come out, stating that Zuko was originally going to be the love interest for Katara. This factoid had the Zutarian community beside themselves for weeks and it still is the most important piece of information proving the legitimacy of the ship. More important however is what's behind this simple factoid. Almost ten years later it has become clear that Aaron Ehasz had been meaning for this beautiful, subtle ending for Zuko and Katara and a Book 4 in which all loose endings would be resolved. This includes Aang finding a group of Air Nomads living in hiding, which raises questions about the sincerity of his feelings for Katara and a central role for both Katara and Zuko working together, becoming closer while doing so.
About this chapter - the mentioning of Katara finding Zuko's handprint in this chapter is a reference to my very first fanfic ever, Clay Tablet (to be found under my Zutara Shorts series). In this drabble Katara finds Zuko's handprint in the beach house and I have reused the idea in a slightly different form.
Thank you very much for reading.