A Secret Admirer: The Stalking of Severus Snape

In which Aurora Sinistra tries to help an admiree along…

Sinistra's point of view of her observations is in italics.

Chapter 37: The Witching Hour

The Astronomy Tower…a few days later…

He is going to kill me…Why did I do it? Because I knew deep down, had quite possibly known for years and I had to do something about it. This Admirer business had been too much. Why I attempted this? No clue. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. This is why I was not asked to be in the Order right away. Espionage…. I sucked. They were right… everybody was right, even Snape… too much time in the Astronomy tower star-gazing had addled my brains. I was one brain cell close to Trelawney, sleeping in during the day and teaching at night. Ok, I was a fool but not as stupid as my plan of action. Snape wasn't fooling anybody so I thought my plan to lace Septima's candy with love potion would get it out of him. Well it did, sort of, until everything went wrong. Did I really think the most accomplished wizard next to Dumbledore and the Dark Lord wouldn't find out? That really, I could purchase some candy from the Weasley twins' store and tweak it a bit, and everything would be sunshine and lollipops? That it would help without his notice, a brilliant occlumens, potion brewer, inventor of spells and master of dark magic? And my friend, Septima, as well. Merlin, help me.

Well, I also needed to monitor how it would go. And the Weasley store helped with that too. I bought a package of extendable ears just in case I needed to hear better. Seeing was easier. Snape's office was connected to his classroom. He was always in his office and that is where Septima would visit him to talk. I would simply go in the classroom and see what my efforts reaped from the large keyhole on the door that connected the classroom to the office.

I had seen Septima on the planned date, after having checked that Snape was in his office. I had almost been caught, I think, because as I casually strolled through the dungeons, his nasty owl, Charon, had been flying past me in the opposite direction and gave me a funny look. But he seemed to go about his business after he rolled his owl eyes at me. I offered Septima a few choice pieces of candy, waited a minute, and then I mentioned Snape. She left me as planned with the sudden urge to visit him.

I ran down to the classroom to wait. I knelt down near the keyhole and saw her enter. He was sitting in an armchair. The view was excellent. I waited for them to speak and then threw out the line of the extendable ear. I looked around, because if Charon caught me I was dead. But Snape, it appeared, had sent him to do something, so it was free and clear.

And so it began…

"Come in." Snape called out to Vector. He never looked up.

"What is it. Vector?"

Septima's face positively glowed. Her eyes were tilted and vixenish, her lips in a coy smile – she will never ever call me her best friend again. Her long, dark hair was down past her shoulders, and she walked quietly over to where Severus sat at his desk.

"Well, what is it? Believe me, I'm not surprised you are hard of hearing. She is your friend and you have to have heard that awful Hogwarts choir and Sinistra's warbling. I can hear them from the dungeons and it is not pleasant. Loud and grating…"

I bit my lip. He was still making fun of my singing…I would love to throw something, but that would nix my observing. Damn it!

She undulated slowly over to his desk smiling like a complete imbecile and sat down on the top of the desk. She flicked her hair, licked her lips and batted her eyes before looking deeply into his eyes straight on.

"You know you don't really mean that." She said sweetly

Snape was silent. "As a matter of fact I do. And please remove yourself from my desk. Now I will have to disinfect my work area yet again." But he stared at her strangely and seemed a bit ruffled. I had never seen him like that… ever

Snape ignored her and dropped his nose back into the book he was reading.

"What are you reading? "Always reading… no wonder you are the most brilliant man I know."

She hadn't moved an inch. "What is it Vector?" he asked softly yet impatiently.

She leaned over and slowly raised her arm, one fingertip brushed back a lock of black hair that had fallen into his eyes. "Stop being cross with me, Severus."

Professor Snape dropped his book and looked up in horror.

"Vector, what the hell are you doing?" he asked, quizzically.

She drew her finger and her hand back. "Nothing. I love when your hair falls into your eyes when you are reading," She gave him a sweet smile.

Snape reached down cautiously and picked up the book with one hand that had fallen to the floor. His eyes never left her face, he looked at her puzzled.

"Have you been feeling well today? Have you gone to Madame Pomfrey?

Oh, no! If he examined her, it was over!

"Why would I have done that? I don't understand. I feel wonderful actually."

"Really…and?" He raised a cautious eyebrow.

"And nothing…I just wanted to come over and say hello, see what you were doing and ..."

She slid off the desk to her feet, swished her skirts to one side a bit, and plopped right down on his lap.

"What the…are you mad? Did you encounter a dementor possibly?" He asked, slightly agitated.

"Maybe…for you…I know you don't hate me…it's time to stop our arguing. I don't like arguing with you and I think you don't really like it either," she informed him calmly.

He stared at her intensely. His gaze looking deep within her eyes, yet he saw nothing. She wasn't confounded…what the Hell was wrong with her? His face said.

She had the look in her eye-the look that said – I want you to kiss me. Snape reacted. He scooped her up easily, one arm under her knees and the other under her back, and deposited her gently back on his desk. He looked around as if someone else might be in the room.

Vector placed her hands on her knees and swung her feet as she sat on the desk patiently. Quickly she lifted her arms and tried to sling them around his neck. Snape who had started to walk away had not anticipated the move.

Vector leaned over a little too far and fell off the desk, taking quite a few objects with her.

Snape's eyes opened the widest I had ever seen them, and strode over to where she was on the floor and deftly picked her up and carried her over to a chair.

She sat down and smoothed her hair back and patted her skirts and wistfully uttered, "It's no use…not tonight…I was wrong to come here and try to tell you…"

Snape lowered himself and crouched down on one knee and studied her.

Softly he asked her with barely a whisper "What? What is it that you wished to tell me?"

"Nothing it…it isn't right…I was wrong…not the right time….and anyway I think it is hopeless…"She looked about to tear. It couldn't be more perfect.

"What is it? You can tell me, you know…What do you believe to be…hopeless?"

"No, forget it…it's no use…all in vain…I must be going…I'm sorry….er, Severus."

His eyes widened again. She never called him by his first name.

She rose to leave and he rose too. She attempted to turn and walk swiftly past him but he gently took her arm, and turned her back around towards him.

"No. I think you should tell me what you wanted to before you leave."

"No. I changed my mind. It's all for naught. You wouldn't understand…"

"Vector…Septima…you…you're not…you can't mean that you…" He could barely get the words out.

"Yes, yes, it's true…"She looked at him piercingly and his face changed with the realization -but I can't describe it -not exactly softened but I'd never seen the expression before.

"Silly girl… come here."

"No, I wish to go…I…"

"No, not until we talk…"

"But I just said.."

"I don't care, now what is all this?"

She kept her head down and he gently put his hands on her upper arms and steered her toward a wall in his office.

"I want to go."

"Not until you tell me why you are here."

He placed her back against the wall of his office and let his hands go. His gaze was penetrating as if he could will the words out of her.

She looked at him and smiled as if she knew how foolish she was being and shrugged.

"Now you have nothing to say?" He studied her intently.

She nodded.

"I believe you do," he taunted gently.

"You believe…er, wrong."

He smirked-almost a lop-sided sort of smile; a bit understanding.

"I think I know what you wished to tell me."

"You do?" She asked innocently.

"Yes," he breathed audibly

She smiled sweetly at him. He still looked like a cross between utter bewilderment, disbelief, and was that - pleasure?

He moved in a little closer and his hair fell into his eyes as he bowed his head a bit. He was much taller than her and he did it so as to look her in the face.

She smoothed back a lock of his hair again. "I love when your hair falls into your eyes…"

Was he daft? How could he not know? She acted like a zombie. Did he not wish to see it perhaps?

"I know," he said gently. "I heard you say it before. Well, so are you going to tell me?"

She grabbed both of his arms and pulled him a little closer, their faces just inches from each other.

He let her do it to him.

"Well it's more of a… question."

He looked nervous and about to flee but he buckled down as if he was willing himself to be able to take whatever she was about to say.

She started again. "Don't you want me? I mean, do you think you could er, ever consider wanting me?"

His eyes flew open-yes, he was smiling now. His taut lips had curved into a self-satisfied smile that was almost as bright as hers ,er, for him it was anyway."

"I will preface my comments…"he said teasingly

"Oh, come on now really at a time like this?" It was lively. It sounded more like her.

"Oh, yes. Have you told anyone else?"

"No." She shook her head, and I had to marvel how pretty she looked.

"Will you?"

"No, I'm not sure anyone else cares."

"I'm not so sure of that, but I don't share information of a personal nature with others as you very well know…either you promise or I won't answer you."

"Ok."

"You didn't say…Severus, I promise."

"Ok, Snape."

"Severus."

"Alright… Severus I promise…"

"Swear on Merlin…"

"I swear to merlin…"

"You swear to Merlin that I promise you, Severus, I will not tell a living soul what just transpired or even a departed one on Hogwarts grounds or anywhere else in the wizarding world for that matter."

"I swear to everything that Severus just said." She shook her head affirmatively. It was so cute!

"That will do." He bit his lower lip and continued to look at her intently. I had never seen him do that before.

"So answer my question… do you want me… to be with me?"

He glided a hand through her hair, his fingers touched a lock of her hair and he slowly studied it and then looked back at her

His black eyes gleamed triumphantly like they did when he thought he was going to receive the Order of Merlin the year Sirius Black resurfaced.

Yet he looked at her with such tenderness… it…I never thought it possible…

"More than anything…" His deep voice was low and barely audible

See, I knew it, Merlin oh , oh, but to hear it is…I bloody knew it. The blasted bat did not just say that? That was perfect, like lyrics from a Celestina Warbeck song…

If only it was Gilderoy saying these words to me….

She grinned

"Really?"

"Yes." He nodded as if to reassure her

"Is that what you wanted to tell me…Mia?" He tried it out and appeared to like the way it came out of his mouth.

"Er, yes, well and do you love me?" And it couldn't have been more perfect. She slowly raised her purplish-blue eyes up to his, and lowered her eyelashes, before looking up a second time.

She was good! Er, the love potion-laced candy was better!

He lowered his head and his eyelids were downcast for a second before he slowly raised his head to look her in the eye again.

"Vector…you can't possibly…do you really mean it?" He appeared speechless.

"The ruddy hell, of course I do, why do you think I'm here? I love you, but you really area a bloody moron at times." She shrugged her shoulders.

There was not a hint of annoyance in his face. He looked absolutely about to burst, but all in his eyes. I saw him inhale because I am really paying attention. I could see the angels singing in his mind, yet he didn't answer her right away.

I think he was afraid to actually hear it articulated. I have worked with him for so long, you know…

"Well, what about my ring…the emerald ring? I want it back…changed my mind…"

"Septima, we haven't even…"

"I don't care." She gave him a stubborn, haughty look, and the look he gave her back can't even be described. So much in it…

He looked to the side where she had a hand on his cheek. He slowly and deftly removed it and held it up to his lips. He closed his eyes and kissed the inside of her hand.

"We need to talk about this….which is, what I would like to suggest next…let us meet for …dinner, perhaps…there is a place where…my house…my childhood home…nobody here knows about it accept Dumbledore." He started talking faster.

Oh, god, now I really felt bad, the awkward bat was actually trying to do something decent and Merlin, no, did he just offer to cook her dinner? Holy hippogriffs, he did eat!

"Severus… I want you to kiss me first…"she said breathily. She moved her lips up nearly an inch from his.

She turned and moved them down his throat and nuzzled his neck, and then looked back at him.

He closed his eyes slowly and was still, and then he opened them slowly to look back at her.

He took his hand and placed his thumb on her chin, he tilted it up. "Let me look at you…" He leaned his forehead then against hers and closed his eyes.

He placed his hand on her cheek and brushed her hair back before the hand caressed her cheek again.

When their lips were closer, he spoke very softly to her but it was unintelligible, and he said it right before he tilted his head and was about to kiss her.

I pushed in the extendable ears further.

He paused and whispered.

"But let's venture out. We'll talk and we can work out the particulars but first…he opened his mouth slightly and moved in for the kiss slowly.

Merlin, he wanted to savor every second….well, it was just not in the cards…"

"Wait…I'm not sure I'm that hungry. Aurora offered me some candy before I left today…"

And I froze….dumbstruck with fear.

He stopped dead and moved back a bit, removing and lowering his hands from her.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any left?"

"Yeah, it's in a cute little box, from the Weasley store."

Damn it, I didn't see her put the rest in her purse!

"Where is it?"

"In my purse, my love..."

"Er, sweetie, you wait here, would you like another one?" He falsely laid it on thick, and searched the room her for her bag. He saw it, hurried over, and rummaged until the box was in his hands.

"Er, yeah."

"May I have one as well?" He never looked at her. He already had the top open.

"Sure help yourself," she chirped cheerfully.

"Vector, sit down. This will only take a minute…" He lifted a candy, sniffed it first, observed a few other things and then raised his wand.

He went over to a shelf and then came back over to where she was. He was very angry. He had a vial in his hand.

"Drink this." His tone had altered dramatically.

"Sure."

Several minutes passed for what seemed like an eternity.

Septima spoke. "Snape, what the hell am I doing in your rooms at this hour?"

"You came to ask me about borrowing some books and then you just fainted," he replied calmly.

"I never faint."

"Well, you did, so you seem to be fine and I suggest you see yourself out."

"Surely." She left in a huff.

And I knew I was dead….so utterly dead…

I decided that I had better leave, but not before I saw him slump into his green armchair and stare out the window onto the grounds.

I tiptoed out of the classroom and made it back to my rooms.

And waited…