"Gone?" Stef questioned, her body freezing and her blood running cold. "Jude, what do you mean she's gone?" she asked slowly, praying that she had misunderstood him.

Jude swallowed thickly, more tears forming in his eyes. "These were on her pillow," he said softly, handing a small square of paper over to Stef, which she had automatically realized was one of the post-its they kept in the kitchen drawer, along with her phone - the phone Stef had given her before her shift yesterday.

Stef slipped the phone into her pocket before she grabbed the paper and stood up, Lena quickly taking over the role of calming Jude.

Stef took a deep breath and walked over to the counter, grasping it for support as she carefully unfolded the note, hoping that this was all some sick, elaborate practical joke and that Alex would come prancing smugly into the kitchen in seconds.

Her heart dropped, however, when she quickly understood that this wouldn't be the case. The realization was hitting her hard.

They'd let it happen again.

She'd let it happen again.

The one thing she vowed she would never do after Callie had run away.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She wanted to hit herself for allowing this to slip under the radar, for not being able to stop it. She should have known. She should have seen it. She should have never let it get to this point. But her obliviousness had let Alex down. She'd let them all down.

Again.

"Stef, what's going on?" Lena asked, placing a hand on her shoulder and snapping her out of her daze. It was a good thing she did too. She couldn't blame herself. Not now, not yet. Not until they found Alex. There'd by plenty of time to go over every bad, lacking decision she'd made later, but punishing herself and analyzing everything she had done wasn't her top priority at the moment.

"She left this," she said simply, handing the paper to Lena and pacing the kitchen.

Emotions bubbled up inside her, too many to count and too many to handle at once. Disappointment in herself was at the forefront, but disappointment in Alex wasn't far behind.

What the hell was she thinking? Didn't she know what this would do to them? Did she not understand how this would disrupt their lives as well? Didn't she get that they loved her?

She was going to kill that girl. Hug her and then move her hands up to her neck and strangle her.

That was, when she found her.

If she found her.

No, when. It had to be a when. There was no other option. She wouldn't be able to live with herself until it happened. She wouldn't stop until she did.

"Does anyone know anything?" she asked seriously, slipping into interrogation mode. She eyed all the children sitting on the barstools who, moments earlier, were simply planning on enjoying a normal Sunday breakfast.

"I'm going to ask again," she said evenly, "does anyone know anything? Anything at all? Because if you do, it would be in everyone's best interest that you tell us now. Hiding things will only make things worse for everyone," she crossed her arms.

"You're not going to be in trouble if you know something, it's just really important that you speak up if you do," Lena added, trying a calmer, more open approach than her wife.

The kids looked around at each other in genuine confusion. Stef was fairly good at reading them, and knew their guilty faces by now. She was almost positive they weren't hiding any secrets, and she didn't know whether to be relieved or more frustrated. On one hand, it was good the reason for her disappearance didn't involve any of the other kids, but on the flip side, she had no leads.

"Where would she have gone?" Jesus asked, his brow crinkling.

"And why would she just leave?" Mariana asked, hurt evident in her tone. "I thought she was liking it here," she said more quietly, her eyes fixated on the table. Her disappearance was bringing out more deeply-seeded abandonment issues. First Lexi, then Zac, now Alex? She couldn't afford to lose another friend.

"I don't know, you guys," Lena admitted, stroking Mariana's hair as she sensed the girl's pain. "But we'll find her, okay?" she reassured them. "We're going to figure it out."

"Something must have happened, right?" Brandon spoke up. "I mean, she wouldn't have just left for no reason."

"What, did you kiss her too?" Mariana snapped.

"Mariana," Lena quickly chastised, squeezing her shoulder as a warning.

"Sorry," the younger girl mumbled, locking eyes with Brandon in a sincere apology, her hurt feelings and sadness boiling over and being taken out on whoever was convenient.

Brandon shrugged off the comment, but looked down at the counter, stung from her words.

"Do you think she's okay?" Jude spoke up, more tears gathering in his eyes as the real fear sunk in. "I mean, do you think wherever she went is safe?" he asked quietly, the feelings of apprehension returning like deja vu as he recalled Callie's disappearance. Callie had returned to him unharmed, and he wasn't sure he'd get that lucky twice.

"I'm sure she's fine, baby," Lena assured him, consoling him by running a hand through his hair. "You know Alex. She's smart. I'm sure she wouldn't put herself in any danger," she said, though not totally believing her own words.

Callie bit her lip, watching helplessly as the scene unfolded before her. Sure, she'd learned that her running away had hurt the family, but had it been like this when she left? She couldn't imagine a similar thing happening on her account, and it killed her to think she'd once been the cause of Jude's tears, Jesus' confusion, Mariana's pain, Lena's anxiousness, Brandon's fearfulness, and Stef's guilt.

"Is this how it was when…you know?" Callie asked Mariana softly.

Mariana turned her gaze over to her - the girl she had at one time loathed but now considered a sister - and placed her hand over hers, giving her a small smile. "Yeah," she said. "It sucked, Callie," she admitted, causing Callie to drop her gaze to the table, swallowing hard.

She was suddenly overcome with a new sense of guilt, not just at realizing and witnessing first-hand what she had once done to these people, these people she loved more than anything, but that she hadn't stopped it from happening again.

She should know these things. She was attune to Alex. She'd related and connected to her on a personal level. They were so much alike, shared so many similar experiences, she should have seen this coming. It was her job to look out for these things. She and Alex had had an unspoken bond to look out for each other, and she had let her down.

And it hurt her too, that she would just up and leave, and honestly it felt a bit like betrayal. She didn't open up to many people, but she had with Alex. She trusted her to be there. Didn't she know that she needed her here?

"Could you all go upstairs for a minute, please? Your mama and I have some things we need to figure out," Stef requested, rubbing her forehead in frustration. She figured that she and Lena's game plan would be better made in private, as not to distract or upset the kids more than they already were.

"Are you sure?" Brandon asked, gently touching his mother's arm in a small act of comfort. "We can stay down here if you want."

"Yeah, we can try and help you guys or just like sit here for support if you want," Jesus added.

Stef cracked a small smile at this. Her boys, always the sweethearts. "Thanks guys, but I think we just need a little privacy right now, okay?" she asked, patting Brandon's hand.

"Sure, no problem," Brandon nodded, turning to walk up the stairs.

Jesus followed shortly after, leading a still distraught Mariana up with him, guiding her with an arm behind her back.

Jude turned to follow before hesitating, looking to Stef and Lena. "Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked in a mousy voice, his lip still quivering. It was obvious the situation was hitting Jude hard, his feelings overwhelming him.

"You know what I think would really help?" Lena asked, walking over to where the boy was standing by the stairs. She crouched down to his level, taking his hands in her own. "I think it'd really help out your brothers and sisters if you went upstairs with them."

Jude bit his lip. "But I want to help you find Alex."

"I know you do, baby. But by going with your siblings you will be helping Alex in a way. I bet they're feeling a little scared just like you are and I think that it'd make them feel a lot better if you were all together. I think that's what Alex would want too, right? For you to all be there for each other?" she nodded encouragingly. "Do you think you could do that? Be brave and go hang out with them for a bit?"

Jude nodded slightly. "Yes," he said softly.

Lena smiled. "I'm sure they'll really appreciate it," she said, rubbing his arm before standing back up.

"Are you coming, Callie?" Jude asked, seeing his sister still planted in her chair from earlier.

"Yeah, Jude," she assured him with a small smile, doing her best to avoid Stef and Lena's gazes that were sure to be on her. "I'll be up in a minute. I just need to tell Stef and Lena something first, okay?"

Jude nodded reluctantly, but headed up the stairs, the usual spring in his step gone, replaced with slow, methodical paces.

"What's up?" Stef asked, tightening her jaw and crossing her arms. She was trying to remain as casual as possible, and she was trying not to think the worst, but the situation was making her nervous. Alex and Callie had always been close and the fact Callie had stayed behind claiming she needed to tell them something made her fear the girl knew something or could have had something to do with Alex's disappearance.

"I just…wanted to say that I'm sorry," Callie admitted, looking at her hands in her lap.

"Sorry for what?" Stef prompted, trying her hardest to keep the impatient, anxious edge out of her voice.

"For Alex running away," she said simply.

"Sweetheart, what does Alex running away have to do with you?" Lena asked cluelessly, obviously not sharing the same fears and suspicions that were making their way into Stef's mind.

Callie shrugged a shoulder. "We were close. I should have guessed something was wrong before something like this happened," her eyebrows wrinkled guiltily.

Stef's gaze snapped over to Callie, uncrossing her arms and softening her look as she laid eyes on her. "You think this is your fault?" she questioned bluntly.

Callie shrugged again. "Kind of? I don't know…partially, I guess," she struggled with the answer, her gaze still firmly fixated downwards.

Stef sighed, walking to stand directly in front of her. "Callie?" she said softly, the younger girl not making a move to look at her. "Hey Callie," she said again, putting a hand on either side of her face and tilting it up to face her. "Look at me," she commanded gently, still holding her chin, directing her eyes to meet her own.

"This is not your fault, do you hear me? In no way are you to blame for any of this," Stef shook her head, speaking slowly. "Alex made a choice, a bad choice, but it was her choice. There is nothing that you could have or should have done to stop her from making it, okay? You," she tucked a piece of hair behind Callie's ear, "are responsible for your decisions, and that is it. Your decisions, and no one else's. Understand?"

Callie nodded slowly, the guilt not fully dissipating, but shrinking substantially with Stef's reassurances.

"Tell me that you understand," Stef ordered.

"I understand," Callie said softly, biting her lip again.

"Good," Stef kissed her forehead. "It'll be all right," she whispered, for her own benefit as well as Callie's. "It's going to be fine, okay? So why don't you go on upstairs with the others. I'm sure they're missing you," she said, sending her off the stool with a pat on the back.

The second she was up the stairs, Stef allowed herself to uncap the anger she'd been controlling since Jude had handed her the note.

"What the hell are we going to do, Lena?" she asked, running a furious hand through her hair.

"We have to stay calm, Stef," her wife reasoned.

Stef laughed humorlessly, pacing the kitchen once again. "Calm? She could be anywhere right now and you want me to be calm."

"Well freaking out and panicking isn't going to help matters," Lena shot back.

Stef rubbed her temples. "What was she thinking?" she asked, exasperated.

"I don't know, Stef," Lena replied sadly.

"What does she think we're just going to be fine with this? She thinks we're not going to care and just go on with our business like nothing even happened?" she questioned incredulously. "She can't just do this."

"I know she can't, Stef."

"I can't just let her slip away from us. She is not allowed to just run away," Stef said sternly, tightly clutching the end of the counter.

The two were silent for a moment, breathing deeply and wracking their brains for what to do.

"We have to look for her," Stef said finally, sighing and closing her eyes.

"Where do we start?" Lena asked, putting her face in her hands as well. "We have no idea when she left, where she was planning on going, who she was with."

"We might as well check the obvious first. Go to the restaurant. You never know, there's a small chance she could still be there," Stef reasoned.

"And it's always good to go to some places nearby. The park, the beach, who knows? Maybe she just made an irrational decision when all she needed was some air. You never know, she could realize this was all a mistake and plan to come back on her own," Lena said, trying to remain positive, though her tone betrayed her optimistic words.

Stef shook her head. "If she's not anywhere around here I can see if I can get a unit to help me look. Call in some favors at the station. At the very least I know we can get Mike to help."

"Can you do that? She is technically emancipated, we can't label her a runaway, can we? Or file a missing person's report since she left willingly," Lena said, discouraged.

"I don't particularly care about the legal specifics of it right now. The point is we need to find her, and I'll pull as many strings and bend as many rules to get the tools I need to do that," Stef said firmly. "If I explain the situation to Roberts maybe she'll be willing to help too," she said, running another hand through her hair. She tried to take deep breaths and compose herself. She couldn't give up hope. She had to fight for this. She had to transfer everything she was feeling right now into determination. That would give them the best chance of finding her.

"So what should we do first? Call her work, see if anyone there knows something or overheard anything last night?" Lena questioned.

"Yeah, do that," she nodded, pulling out her cell phone from her pocket. "I will, um, call Mike and see if he can start searching the area too. It's best if we have as many sets of eyes as possible out there."

"Good thinking," Lena said, going to grab the phone book to look up the cafe's number.

Stef had her phone in her hand, about to dial Mike's number when she froze, recalling a conversation they'd had weeks before, something Alex had said replaying in her mind.

It was a long shot, she knew it was. It could very well have been an offhanded comment, meaning nothing and not at all pertaining to the situation.

But then again, maybe it wasn't.

Stef had always prided herself on her instincts, and it had to say something that she'd remembered this small piece of information at this exact time.

She punched the power button on her phone, slipping it back into her pocket before grabbing the keys from the hook.

"Lena," she called, already walking to the door, determination sparking once again, the words replaying in a loop over and over again in her mind.

I just felt like I should know.

"I'm going to start looking," she called again, opening the door.

I promised myself I'd go before I left.

She threw one last glance over her shoulder.

"I know where she might be."

Will Stef find her, or will this be a dead-end? Any theories on where Alex might be? Thanks for all your awesome feedback. We're coming up on 500 reviews now, which is insane! I'd love to hear from you - your reviews mean the world. Thanks for reading!

Thanks to Liz and Grace for all their help.