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Charlotte feels a little weird after sleeping with Tyler. It had been built up to a such a big thing, and in the end it hadn't even lasted that long. Charlotte almost feels lied to. Everyone said sex was so important, so great, and it was nothing how she imagined it would be. She wants to ask someone about it but Ivy is her one close friend, and has never had sex. Charlotte skipped most of the chapter on her mother's first time in her book - who wants to read about that? - and she's still too mad at her to ask anything. Besides, even if she weren't, she can't talk to her mom about this. Charlotte briefly considers telling Lorelai, but she might freak out. Deep down, Charlotte knows her grandmother wouldn't, but she doesn't want to talk about it. She keeps thinking about how it could have gone better. Still, Charlotte thinks, she doesn't want to have an awkward first time again. Afterwards she wondered if anyone would be able to tell, but that seems to be a myth. No one is looking at her any differently.
On Wednesday she and Tyler duck out of study hall and go back to his place. They try doing it again, and it's a little better. Charlotte still doesn't get the major deal made over sex, but she feels less unsure than before. The leadup is better than the real thing, she thinks. Does everyone secretly think this too?
Ivy asks Charlotte to go her place on Friday. Charlotte is relieved to just hang out for a while but when she and Ivy are upstairs, lying on the bed with some snacks, she feels nervous when she says, "I've got something to tell you."
"What?" Ivy asks, putting a large chip in her mouth and Charlotte takes a deep breath.
"I slept with Tyler."
"What?" Ivy shrieks, spilling crumbs out of her mouth. "When?"
"Last week. And I did it two days ago too."
"I can't believe it," Ivy declares, wiping at her mouth. "You did it last week and you didn't tell me?"
"I'm sorry."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Ivy demands. "You swore - we both swore we'd tell each other when we had sex. How was it? Was it amazing?"
Charlotte shrugs and glances away. Ivy waves a hand in her face. "Hello? Charlotte? Details, please!"
"It was..." Charlotte's voice fades and she clears her throat. "It was kind of awkward," she says eventually. "And sore."
"Oh."
"It didn't last that long either," Charlotte says, looking at her hands. "It's definitely not like in movies."
"Oh...well, maybe that's just because it was the first time."
"Maybe. But the second time wasn't great either."
Ivy looks sympathetic but disappointed, and Charlotte looks down. She suddenly has a terrible feeling she's going to cry.
"I don't know," she says, her voice tight. "The stuff before it was better. Maybe everyone just lies to you about sex being great to keep the human race going."
"A lot of people have sex without having kids though."
"Yeah," Charlotte allows, sniffling. "Maybe it's just me."
"Was it horrible?" Ivy asks quietly and Charlotte roughly shakes her head.
"No. Yes. No. I just...I just wish I'd known what I was doing. I think it could have been better."
"You used a condom, right?"
"Yes, I used a condom," Charlotte snaps. "Of course I used a condom!"
"Okay, okay. I'm just asking."
"Sorry," Charlotte says, wiping at her eyes that are starting to drip. "It just feels weird."
"Do you wish you hadn't done it?"
"No," Charlotte says thoughtfully. "I just wish I'd known what to do more. But I'm glad it's over with - the awkward part."
"I'm sure it gets better," Ivy says comfortingly. "No one would keep having sex if it didn't."
"Yeah," Charlotte says, giving her a quick smile. She changes the subject and they talk about movies until dinner.
When Charlotte gets back her mother is in the hall. She's wearing a serious expression as is her father, who's in the sitting room. Charlotte's chest tightens as she goes in. For a moment she's positive they know she's had sex, but it's not that. It's the school. Charlotte knew they'd call eventually but she stopped caring a while ago. Her parents do not share that sentiment. They start freaking out, demanding to know what Charlotte's been doing, but she doesn't answer. She wonders what they'd say if she told them I've been sneaking out with my boyfriend. We've had sex twice. Charlotte isn't bold enough to find out. She keeps her mouth shut, which makes her parents even angrier. Charlotte feels herself getting mad back. They lied to her until she read her mom's book, so Charlotte figures the scales are even. They can't tell her what to do. Jess starts saying she needs to grow up, stop messing up her life, and Charlotte can't take it anymore. She can't stand it, and she shouts I have a whole other father!
It works. Her dad stops talking. Everyone goes silent. The second the words are out of Charlotte's mouth she yearns to take them back. She has never seen such a devastated look on her dad's face before, and Charlotte put it there. She didn't even mean it. Charlotte can't be in that room, can't look at her dad and she runs blindly upstairs, resisting the tears that are about to fall. They pour incessantly once she's in her bedroom. Charlotte is afraid her parents will follow her up there and see, yet in a way it would be a relief. Charlotte is feeling exhausted from holding it all back. But they don't follow her and Charlotte can't go back down. She can't be there at all.
Charlotte grabs her purse and throws in her wallet. Picking up her phone, she calls Tyler and when he finally answers she says, "Can you come get me?"
"Huh?"
"Something happened," Charlotte says, her voice wobbling. "Can you come pick me up?"
"My mom and dad are having a party."
"Can you please pick me up?" Charlotte begs. "I don't care where we go."
There's a pause and then Tyler says, "Yeah, okay. I'll be at the end of your street."
He hangs up and Charlotte looks around her room. She doesn't want to pack a whole bag - all she knows is that right now she wants to be gone - but her eyes land on her dressing table and the ballerina music box. Charlotte opens it, making the tinny music play, and she gets out the diamond necklace Logan gave her for her birthday. Charlotte wants to wear it. She's not wearing that locket anymore and it's her necklace. Who says she can only wear it when she's older?
Charlotte fastens the necklace, snaps the box shut and grabs her purse and phone. She's lost in her thought of how to get out of the house with no one seeing when she collides with her brother.
"Ow," Richie says and then, "Where are you going?"
"Nowhere," Charlotte says and Richie raises his eyebrows. "None of your business."
"How come you never tell me stuff anymore?" Richie demands. "I'm not going to go blabbing. I'm not Annie."
"I'm busy."
"You've been a jerk," Richie says. "Maybe I'll tell Mom and Dad. Why should I cover for you anyhow?"
"Wait," Charlotte says. "I'm sorry. I'm going to see Tyler, okay?"
Richie raises his eyebrows and Charlotte reaches into her pocket, coming out with a two dollar bill. "I'll give you this if you don't tell Mom and Dad."
"For two measly bucks?"
"I can't give you more," Charlotte pleads. "Can you just help me out?"
"They've gone out," Richie says. "You were yelling downstairs and Mom and Dad just went out, I saw them."
"Oh. Well, I guess I'll go too."
Richie nods and Charlotte smiles. "Thanks, Richie."
"Sure," Richie says and he stuffs the money in his pocket.
"I thought you said it wasn't enough!"
"It's not. But it's still money."
Charlotte rolls her eyes. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"See ya."
Charlotte hurries down the stairs, picks up her jacket and is out the front door and down the street after a glance both ways. Tyler shows up after five chilled minutes and Charlotte gratefully gets in the car. He drives away and, after he doesn't ask, Charlotte says, "I had an awful fight with my mom and dad."
"Yeah?"
"It was horrible," Charlotte says, getting upset again. "The school called and they found out I wasn't in class and we yelled all this stuff and.." her voice trails off. Charlotte doesn't want to repeat what she said to Jess.
"Sounds rough," is all Tyler says and Charlotte nods, sniffling. "I said the worst thing to my dad. I told him I have another father."
"So?" Tyler asks, looking at her. "You do, right?"
"He's not my father," Charlotte says, her voice wobbling. "I know he is genetically, but I didn't mean it. I was just really mad. And now I can't take it back."
"He's your genetic father...maybe you said it because he is. His side in you coming out."
Charlotte feels even more awful than before. There's a big lump in her throat and she stares straight ahead. If Tyler wonders why she's wearing diamonds he makes no comment, and Charlotte runs her hand over them. They feel rough against her fingers, and it upsets her all over again. They drive in silence for a while and finally she says, "Where are we going?"
"The field."
"The field?" Charlotte echoes. "Why?"
"I thought we could make out," Tyler says simply and Charlotte's eyes widen.
"You want to go park?"
"Don't you?"
"No!" Charlotte wails. "I want to talk to you! I want some advice!"
"I don't know," Tyler says. "I thought making out was what we're doing. That and the other stuff."
Charlotte sits back in her seat. For a moment she can't even reply to that.
"I don't want to go to the field," she says eventually and Tyler says, "I guess we can park here instead."
"I don't want to park, period."
"Then should I take you home?"
"No!" Charlotte exclaims. "I can't go home!"
"What do you want me to do then?"
Charlotte is silent for a moment and then says, "Take me to the train station."
"Okay," Tyler says, turning the car around. "How come?"
"I want to go somewhere...see about that genetic stuff."
"Huh?"
"Never mind," Charlotte says. "Please can you take me?"
"Okay," Tyler says, and he does so, not bothering to stop the car fully. He gives her an absent kiss as Charlotte gets out and she says, "I'll call you when I'm there, if you want."
"If you want," Tyler agrees, but he doesn't sound too concerned. "Talk to you later."
"Bye."
Charlotte forgot to say love you but it seems Tyler did too. She goes into the station and straight to the desk and says, "One ticket to New York, please."
Charlotte pays with her card, reasoning that the money she got at Christmas will cover it, and the man behind the counter says, "There's one leaving in five minutes - you can get it if you hurry."
"Oh - thanks."
"You going somewhere fancy?"
"Huh?"
"You're wearing a diamond necklace," he remarks. "You doing something special?"
"No...it's just a gift. I'd better go. Thanks."
Charlotte takes the necklace off in case it falls, shoving it in her purse, and runs for the train. She jumps on in the nick of time and sinks onto a seat, breathing hard. The train starts up and Charlotte looks out of the window. She reaches into her purse, turning off her phone and taking out the necklace for a moment. She stares at the gems for a moment before letting them go, and gazes through the glass at the night running past.