Chapter 19: 2011

"I'm not here to have a go," Kim told Molly as she watched the girl hanging her head again, "I'm here before this is hurting you as much as it is your mother. Look at you. Anyone can see that you're as depressed as each other. But you're the one with the power to fix it." She hesitated, hoping Molly might speak up but she wasn't ready to say anything yet. Kim sighed a little. She really wasn't good at this kind of thing and wasn't sure she could find the words to fix this situation. "You've been an only child for a long time, Molly. You've never had a sibling before. Of course you're going to be jealous –"

"I'm not jealous," Molly snapped, finally looking at Kim, sending her daggers through her glare.

"But you're not exactly brimming over with joy," Kim pointed out. She took a deep breath and looked down. "I was one of three. Middle one. When my little sister arrived I felt like I was going to be pushed out the family. One minute I was the baby that everyone doted on, the next there was this screaming little thing that was going to take up all the attention. Except…" she looked seriously at Molly, "that's not what happened. Because a new baby doesn't mean that there's any the less love to go around. In fact, there's more of it."

She saw Molly glance up for a split second, then look away again.

"I thought I was going to get mum back," she whispered.

"Pardon?"

"I thought I was finally going to have a mum again," Molly spoke up a little, "everyone gave up on her – everyone. I didn't. I've spent hours by her bed, begging her to wake up and get better and then she finally did and I thought everything was going to be OK. I thought in a few months we'd be able to move back home and do all the things I've missed in the last three years." She shook her head. "Now she's going to be stuck with some baby," she said the word 'baby' like it left a bitter taste in her mouth, "and we can't do any of those things."

"Never heard of babysitters?" Kim asked sarcastically.

Molly scowled.

"Yeah – that's going to be me, isn't it? Always ending up stuck babysitting the thing."

"You're looking at everything from such a selfish point of view," Kim shook her head, "and to a degree I can understand that. You're young, you're growing up and you've been through a lot of crap in a short space of time. You wanted this one thing to go right for you – for you – but you've forgotten to think about what your mother wants."

"Well not me for a start," Molly snapped, looking away.

"Just because she's going to have a baby –"

"It's got nothing to do with the baby!" Molly's voice was angry suddenly and a look of despair flashed through her eyes. it was enough to make Kim pull back.

"It – what?" she wasn't sure what she meant.

"Come off it, you know as much as I do there's more to all this!" Molly cried, "All that stuff you've been covering up for. All of you. Mum, you, Robin – probably Simon did too." She saw Kim's expression growing more awkward by the moment, "I remember what Robin told me, when I went to see him after the accident. His car accident with mum, after she went into another coma. He said Mum was with someone who loved her." She breathed heavily as months of pent-up anger and despair started to flood out, "Who's Gene?"

Kim stared at her. She found herself shaking.

"I don't think you should hear it from me," she said quietly, "I think…" she swallowed and closed her eyes. She remembered Alex's words on Saturday morning. "I think you should hear it from your mother."

Molly's lip trembled.

"And this baby," she whispered, "It's not true, is it… what the hospital said? It wasn't rape."

Kim looked down.

"Again, it's not me you should be hearing this from," she said quietly.

Molly swallowed. She couldn't seem to clear the lump from her throat.

"And Layton," she whispered, "the barge… that wasn't really Layton, was it?" Kim's silence and grim expression told Molly more than words could say. "Who was it?"

"A very evil man," Kim whispered.

Molly's eyes glistened with tears.

"Mum didn't want to come back," she whispered as she finally admitted the truth that she knew deep down, "did she?" she watched Kim carefully for any hint of a response, "she wanted to stay where she was… with whoever that man is… that Gene. She chose some man over me."

"It's not that simple, Molly," Kim shook her head slowly.

"You made it that simple, didn't you?"

"What?"

"You dumped your kids because you were shagging Robin."

Kim's mouth dropped open, partly from the shock at her blunt words and partly because she was still under the illusion that Molly hadn't noticed her relationship. She shook her head crossly.

"Things are never that simple, Molly," she said crossly, "you may have had to grow up quickly when your mum was shot but, god, you still have a long way to go to understand. Choices are never that straightforward, especially not where children and love are concerned. Now, for one thing, Robin and me are not 'shagging'…" she bit her lip, "technically we are shagging… but that's not what it's about." She shook her head slowly, "I fell in love with someone unexpectedly. Someone I would never in a million years have expected to fall in love with," her voice broke up a little, "a-and the same thing happened to your mother." She saw Molly's eyes turn downwards, "and it is never a simple decision, Molly. I miss my boys so hard that it hurts, it physically hurts me that I can't be with them, but me and Linda… my wife…" she felt her heart racing as she thought about all those poisonous, spiteful words Linda had said to her, "she… she wasn't very nice to me. In fact, she was slowly destroying me. I wasn't me any more. She found a new way to hurt me every day."

"Like being bullied?" Molly asked. Kim noticed her voice had changed. It was softer now. She nodded.

"Yes," she whispered, "it was like being bullied." She swallowed and drew in a deep breath. "And as much as I miss my boys every single day and I would do anything to change that… every day I'm away from her I get a little bit more of myself back. And every day I'm with Robin I get just a little bit happier."

Molly stared at her.

"You never used to smile," she said quietly.

Kim looked at her curiously.

"What?"

"You never smiled," Molly told her, "not for months. When I first met you, you always looked miserable. Then you started grinning."

"And from that you deduced that Robin and me were shagging?"

"Sort of."

Kim nodded slowly. She knew she'd changed in many positive ways in the last few months. Others had apparently noticed too.

"You see," she whispered, "things are never as straightforward as you think, Molly. And in your mum's case…" she shook her head, "it makes me and Robin look straightforward." She slowly got to her feet. "But that's not my story to tell." she stepped towards the door. "Get your shoes on, Molly. Leave a note for your foster mother. Come and sort this out now." She saw the girl hesitate. "No more lies or cover-ups. She's ready to tell you the truth." She paused. "She needs to. For both your sakes."

Molly hesitated. After wanting to know the truth for so long the thought that it was so close suddenly scared her. Once she found out, there was no taking it back. But she knew Kim was right – they were both hurting and they couldn't carry on that way. Finally she gave a slow nod and walked out of the doorway, into the hall to slip on her shoes.

"I'll text her on the way," she whispered.

Kim nodded.

"Alright," she said quietly.

As Molly followed her out to her car she felt herself shaking and her heart rate rising. The truth was a terrifying concept. But the thought of further lies scared her more.

~xXx~

Alex was aware of the sound of the front door opening and voices in the hall but she hadn't expected the sight of her daughter's anxious face arriving in her room with Kim just behind her.

"You have a visitor, Ma'am," she said quietly.

Alex swallowed.

"Molly," she whispered. She found her hand drifting protectively to her stomach as though to shield the baby from any more of Molly's vicious comments.

"I think Molly is ready to listen now," Kim said quietly. She nodded slightly towards the flip chart. "Tell her. She can handle it." She gave a slightly awkward smile. "She's not stupid, this one." She turned to Molly, "And don't say 'shagging' in front of your mother," she glanced at Alex. "Sorry."

A confused Alex looked from one to the other.

"Who's shagging?" she asked urgently, fearing it was Molly going off the rails.

"The, uh, word in question was aimed at me," Kim had the god grace to blush before slipping out of the door and leaving mother and daughter alone.

Alex stared at Molly. Her daughter's face reflected myriad emotions.

"Will you come and sit down with me?" she asked quietly.

Molly kept her eyes down low and slowly walked towards her. She perched on the edge of the bed, as far from Alex as she could. Alex had been expecting that. A least she wasn't hiding over the other side of the room. She took a deep breath.

"OK, Molly," she said quietly, "let's see if we can sort this out." She was about to start talking about the baby again, making promises that the baby wasn't displacing her love for Molly and all the other things that she thought had been at the root of Molly's behaviour but before she could say a word Molly opened her mouth and whispered,

"Tell me about Gene."

That stumped her. Alex really hadn't been expecting to hear that.

"What?"

Finally Molly caught her eye.

"Kim said you'd be honest with me at last," she whispered. She saw a pink glow of awkwardness spread across her mother's cheeks. "Where have you been, mum?"

Alex swallowed. She was going to deliberately misunderstand the question and say something like 'the corner shop' but she knew exactly what Molly meant. She found she couldn't quite look her daughter in the eye.

"Do you remember Sam Tyler?" she asked quietly. She glanced at Molly who looked confused. "He was the man whose file you were reading in the car, the morning I was shot." Molly bit her lip. She had a vague recollection of it and nodded slowly, "well, you might have thought he was a sad case at the time, but that's nothing compared to what you'll think of me." She took a deep breath. "When Arthur Layton fired that bullet into my head I went to a-a place," her voice trembled. She had never explained it to an outsider before. The words didn't seem easy to find. "The people Sam Tyler had spoken about… the ones he met during his coma," she swallowed, "well… well, they were there. And immediately I assumed that I was dreaming. You'd been reading the file in the car, it seemed logical my mind had recreated Tyler's fantasies." She tried to watch Molly's expression carefully. Did the girl think she was crazy? Did she think she was spinning her a tale? "I would hear things… through my coma… from the outside world. Over a radio or through someone else.. I know this sounds surreal, Molly, it's exactly the kind of thing I analysed from a psychology point of view over and over again, a world created by someone's subconscious." She shook her head. "But it wasn't 'my' world."

Molly stared at her.

"Go on," she whispered, unsure what to think.

Alex drew in a deep breath.

"Time… was strange there, Mols," she whispered, "hours or days here translated into years over there. Sometimes things seemed to speed up or slow down. I was there for," her voice started to choke up, "fifteen years, give or take."

"But…. It's only been three years," Molly whispered.

"See what I mean?" Alex hung her head, "to me I've been there for a very, very long time. It became my life, Molly. My job, the place and all the people there."

Molly felt a shudder down her spine.

"People like Gene?" she asked.

Alex swallowed.

"Gene Hunt," she said quietly, "the man that had antagonised Sam Tyler for the duration of his coma was suddenly antagonising me. We didn't get on at first, not at all." She shook her head, "there might have been some slapping…" she closed her eyes, trying not to smile at the memories that flooded back, "but, with time, we drew closer." She wasn't sure how to explain herself to Molly. She didn't want to make her feel worse but she wanted her to know the truth. "I'd been a part of that world for three years when I learnt the truth about it, Mols. And I know what you're going to think because it's…" she exhaled, "it's what I've brought you up to think. But if you can suspend your disbelief for just a while and listen, I'll tell you."

Molly stared on.

"Please, tell me the truth," she whispered.

Alex nodded slowly.

"People like me;… like Gene… Robin, Kim, Simon – detectives… coppers… sometimes we have unfinished business in our lives. Or we never really had chance for a life." She looked Molly in the eye. "It was a world created so that when we die, or when our lives are hanging in the balance, we have a place to go to resolve whatever we need to before we can move on."

"Heaven?" Molly's tone was mocking.

"No," Alex shook her head, "I'd tell you what heaven is like, but…" she gave a gentle laugh, "then you really would think I had lost my marbles." She stared Molly in the eye. "I do know how this sounds, Mols, but think about it. Think about all the things you've heard and seen, all the things that made you suspicious. Where do you think I met Robin and Kim?"

"You… I thought you worked with them…"

"Not here," Alex said quietly, "not in this world. I met them there."

Molly bit her lip.

"Robin… was in a coma," she whispered, "after the car crash…"

"And Kim," Alex told her, "several years ago she was stabbed. She almost died."

Molly tried to take it all in. It seemed like such an incredible, illogical concept, it was hard to lend any kind of credibility to it. And yet the pieces fitted.

"And Gene?" she said quietly, "you…" the words were not easy for a girl to ask her mother, "You loved him?"

"Love," Alex corrected, "and yes, very, very much." She paused. "We've been together for a great number of years."

"Do you love him more than me?"

Her daughter's eyes were full of tears.

"It's a different kind of love, " Alex whispered, "and it's impossible to compare. One day when you have children of your own you'll understand. Until that day, it's impossible to put into words.

"But you chose him over me," Molly whispered.

Alex felt as though her heart was going to stall.

"Mols, it's not that easy to explain," she whispered, "to you it's been three years. To me…" she drew in her breath. "It's the life I've lived for over fifteen years. While I was there I missed you every single damn day of my life."

Molly wasn't sure she wanted Alex to go on. She didn't want to hear something that would break her heart.

"And this… baby? " She watched her mother look downward to the swollen belly spilling out into her lap. "Are you saying it's… it's this Gene person's?" She shook her head slowly, "I can… I can maybe believe what you said about going to a place… It explains a lot of stuff about Kim and Robin, and Simon… but how can a baby that existed in your head be real?"

"The baby didn't exist in my head," she whispered, "she existed in my body. My other body. I was different, Mols. Most people there have already…. They've already passed away. Only a few are like I was, and very, very few for such a long time. I became real there. I had two bodies, Molly. And when I fell pregnant it weakened me. I couldn't exist in both places, and when I was hurt over there I woke up here. Somehow…" her hand slid to her stomach, "the baby came too."

Molly stared at her mother's belly; the growing curve beneath the material of her borrowed clothes. So many thoughts were raging through her mind, between feeling relieved at the thought that no one had forced themselves on her mother while in her hospital bed and doubtful that her mother could have somehow brought an 'imaginary' baby into the real world from whatever strange dimension connected her with the two people who had given her space in their home to recuperate, she didn't know what to say. Eventually she let her hand speak for her as she slowly reached out with trembling fingers and laid her palm against her mother's stomach. The gesture surprised Alex so much that she felt tears pricking her eyes instantly which she tried hard to bite back. It was certainly more than she'd hoped for that night.

"Were you married?" Molly whispered.

"What?"

"To Gene?"

Alex swallowed. She knew the tears weren't going to stay back for much longer.

"Engaged," she whispered.

"What's he like?"

"Gene?" Molly nodded and Alex gave a slightly sniffly laugh, "I'm not sure there are words to describe him, Molly. Not really. And even if I tried you would look at me in horror and think, how could my mum have ever fallen for someone like that? But the problem is, Mols… there are two Genes. There's the Gene you meet when you wake in a strange place; who blunders around, puts you in your place, throws you against a filing cabinet and makes you think you're going crazy. And then there's the Gene you get to know. The one with the good heart, as much as he tries to hide it. The one who holds your hand and helps you through whatever's brought you to that place and then finally helps you on your way. The one who will go to any lengths to protect the people he cares about." She looked her in the eye. "The one I fell in love with." She wiped her eye as a tear began to roll down her cheek. "And if you ask Kim or Robin they'll both tell you the same." She paused. "Except for the falling in love part."

Molly gave a very slow nod, trying to take in what she'd heard. There were other questions coming to her now, ones that she needed to ask while they were fresh in her mind.

"What about Simon?" she asked quietly.

Alex gave a fond smile. She began to feel a heaviness in her heart. Although her main focus had always been Gene and getting home to him there were so many other people and parts of the world she missed.

"He's there, Mols," she said quietly, "he's OK."

"He came home and went again?"

Alex nodded.

"He has a job to do there. Just like Gene. Just like me. Helping others."

"Who was the man that took me and tied me up on the barge?" Molly whispered, "I know it wasn't Layton."

Alex swallowed hard. This wasn't a subject she wanted to cover.

"His name is Jim Keats," she whispered, "he's a very evil man."

"I noticed," Molly couldn't help but point out, "I… I recognise the name…"

"He was the man that Simon saved your mother from in her hospital room," Kim's voice at the doorway made them both jump. They looked up, surprised to see her. "I'm… I'm sorry, I wasn't eavesdropping," Kim said apologetically, "I just wanted to see if you were both OK."

Alex nodded slowly.

"We're doing alright," she said with a nervous smile.

"This Keats," Molly began, "I don't understand why he was after you… or why he came after me…?"

Alex felt sick at the mention of his name.

"He's a twisted man, Molly. A dangerous and twisted man. Somehow he managed to get into Layton's head… I wish I could explain it better."

"Why is he so evil?" Molly asked, "I don't understand why he has it in for you so much."

Alex faltered. She felt so drained already she wasn't sure she could cope with explaining this too.

"Molly –"

"Maybe I can help," Kim's voice recued Alex from the heart-breaking speech she was about to give. She looked at Kim whose expression was grim and fearful, and Alex knew that she had more reason to dread the mention of his name than most. "I know something that might explain things a little better. She nodded towards the door. "Come on."

Molly glanced at Alex.

"It's OK," Alex said quietly with a nervous smile, "go with Kim. We'll talk more later."

Nervously Molly got to her feet and followed Kim from the room, leaving Alex in the middle of so many different thoughts and emotions. She knew that there were elements of their talk that Molly would struggle with – hell, if the roles were reversed she knew she wouldn't be as open minded – but they'd made progress, and that was as much as she could hope for.

She let herself shed a few tears, then pulled herself together and got to her feet. She couldn't help but wonder exactly what Kim was doing to help explain to Molly about Keats and left the room to find them. She located them in the lounge, Kim's laptop propped on Molly's knees and a TV programme showing on 4OD. She recognised the Dispatches logo and the annoying woman as the programme played.

"…In the days that followed, an alarming number of facts came out about the history of this man, this deeply twisted man, and the crimes that he was able to sweep under the carpet. There are questions that need to be answered. How was he put in a position of such power in the first place? How did he get away with his campaign of stalking and violence for so many years and how did his own mental issues lay undetected for so long?"

The words made Alex shudder as she recalled being shown the programme by Robin the night before the rooftop showdown with Layton. It had been one of the most disturbing things that she had ever seen and her initial reaction was to stop Molly from being subjected to it, but as she watched her daughter sitting and watching it with Kim beside her, just in case she needed someone to turn to or to ask a question of, she realised that Molly wasn't just a little girl any more. She was a young lady, becoming more mature every day, and if she could handle knowing the truth about Gene's world she had to know about the dark side too.

"But first," the presenter's annoying voice said, "we take a look at the man before the incident. The young man whose life was changed after a horrifying attack left him comatose for four years of his life."

"Mols?" she said quietly as her daughter glanced up, "are you alright"

Molly nodded and flashed her mother the tiniest nervous smile.

"I'm fine," she said quietly.

Alex watched her daughter turn back to the screen as the annoying woiman continued to waffle on.

"James Keats was born in nineteen seventy to teenage parents. Sixteen year old Laura Keats was cast out of her family in shame after falling pregnant. She had met her boyfriend Jeffrey while both were taking their O Levels."

"I'll show you the DI March one of these later," Kim threatened her, "It's all about him, his webcam and lewd acts with a cardboard cut-out of Nick Nailer."

Alex gagged a little and decided this would be a good time to retreat.

"Thank you but no thank you," she said as the programme played on.

"…A teenage romance that quickly went sour, Jeffrey's family took in both the young baby James and his mother but the relationship faltered as he entered technical college to learn a trade in catering and the stressful life brought out his temper. When she was eighteen. Laura moved to East London with the young James Keats where they made a new life together. James knew little of his father growing up and never heard from him again."

Alex left the room as the rest of Dispatches played away. So much progress had been made for one day and although there was a long way to go her heart felt just a little lighter. Perhaps, she thought, the truth really could set you free.

~xXx~

A/N: The next update will be two chapters posted together, hopefully either tomorrow or Monday. And, uh… that's kind of where the story really begins… *Hyped up author as over 1,000,000 words of A2A fic finally start drawing together…* :D