HEY PEOPLE!!!
...um. Yeah.
Here's chap 37, and just so you know... my Avatar fic is up. ZukoSokka mpreg...yum!
Randomness: Patti Smith, "Godspeed".
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Suit Square
The hospital room was terrifying.
He'd barely made it through the last night, the cold blackness eating him up and vague dangerous shapes looming over him in a sick parody of a child's night-fright. He'd pulled his blankets over his head and cried silently.
And now... his Daddy was leaning over him, Jiraiya was somewhere behind him, Mizuki had settled himself on the mattress next to Naruto's trembling form, and the snake-guy...
He wasn't here anymore, was he? Naruto didn't dare look. Instead, he squeezed his eyes even tighter closed.
Flashes of pain went through him as all the stuff he'd tried to forget came up like a bad meal, slamming into him with the momentum of an eighteen wheeler. Every new flashback was a bit more real, in each one he was a bit more wholly there, completely in the pain of it all--
He whimpered under his breath as Jiraiya told him, "You like this so much, little princess."
He hated that name! Oh, how he hated that name. It was disgusting and sickening and reminded him of the special closet in Jiraiya's brothel... the short little dresses and those toys that hurt horribly and...
Mizuki was whispering that he'd come for him, that they'd never be apart again. Daddy was shouting for his breakfast.
Naruto bit his lip and struggled to calm down. It couldn't be real, couldn't be real, couldn't be real, couldn't be real... he swallowed a sob and started violently when a soft venomous voice asked, "What can't be real?"
The snake-guy stood at the foot of the bed and his slithering voice joined the rest of the pain.
Naruto clutched his blanket to himself and tried to concentrate on something in the 'real' reality, something that wasn't connected to pain and fear and guilt...
Tsunade's snores were extremely loud, snorting explosions of sound through the silent room. Naruto could see the dim glow of the windows through his thin sheet.
It was working, the concentrating, it was working!
Suddenly Jiraiya was laughing raucously, drunk. He muttered, slurring his words, "Not worth half of the money you spread your legs for, princess. You're... not worth half."
Naruto swallowed hard.
"Say it, Naruto. Say it!" Mizuki's eyes were heavy and slimy on him.
"Haha, you held out for a long time the last time... but tonight, I'll break you. I'll start with the kanji, hmm?"
A ragged cold blade slid up Naruto's leg and he didn't even register that that should be impossible with him underneath the sheet. The cold metal reached the raised tissue of the kanji on the back of his thigh, and Naruto could see it in his mind's eye, the perfect silvery strokes and turns...
Daddy was muttering, "Hana. You bitch. You can't live without me, what the fuck are you running for? You need me."
"You need this," Jiraiya slurred.
Naruto whimpered out loud and his jaw cracked with the strength he'd been pressing it together with.
Mizuki's hand slid up his back.
He shook his head desperately. Help. He needed help. He needed... "Gaara..."
Help.
"Heh, trembling so sweetly. How long will it take for the kanji to be gone, hmm?"
Naruto refused to listen. He wouldn't listen!
The knife began cutting, white-hot pain on his thigh. Naruto whimpered again.
He tried to move away but the fear and nightmare moved with him, his mind following his body--
A cool touch on his shoulder, not gentle but not harsh, brought him out of the dreadful vision with a start. He lay still, trying to identify... was the hand real? Or was it another trick of his mind to break him, another slam of pain?
But the others were gone, the mocking voices and the hungry eyes...
The hand on his shoulder tightened, no longer calm. Naruto sat up slowly and dared to peek, slowly, slowly--
The darkness of the room was comforting—nothing moved in the shadow, nothing taunted him. The soft, even breathing of the other occupants and Tsunade's amazing snores were a soothing, normal melody.
He looked to where the hand had left his shoulder and returned to a jeans pocket. His eyes widened. "G--"
The redhead covered his mouth swiftly, his eyes flat and cold and oh-so-beautiful in the gloom. Naruto nodded his acquiescence to staying quiet and the cool dry palm left his lips.
The moment Gaara stopped touching him, the darkness grew menacing. Naruto reached for the still tall form standing next to the bed, not caring whether it would make him angry, just needing—his hands touched the soft leather of the redhead's coat, then slid up to clutch at straight sinewy shoulders. The blonde vaguely felt Gaara tense, but the Sandman displayed no other reaction and so Naruto buried his face into fragrant, supple leather, breathing in deep all of the sharp and refreshing smell that was Gaara's essence.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry, I—"
He couldn't say his apologies yet. Mizuki still hovered too close. If he apologized now, the memories would resurface. Later. "I—I love you, Gaara. And—sorry."
The redhead's cold hands grazed down Naruto's back, not tender but not cold, and after a short while one arm wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him close.
Briefly. But it was enough.
Naruto cried a little, warm saltiness rolling down his cheeks. He had to burrow deeper into the softness of Gaara's jacket to muffle his sniffing.
The redhead shifted and cupped the back of Naruto's neck firmly, tilting his head back. The blonde had to bite his lip to keep silent. Sharp teeth sunk into his skin and his hands clenched in the folds of Gaara's jacket.
The hot pain in his neck anchored Naruto further, the feeling of Gaara's strong firm body above him, the rustling of the sheets beneath him, Tsunade's bellowing snores behind him—all of it was drawing him back, keeping the memories away. He gasped as Gaara's other hand slid beneath his the hospital T-shirt and found the kanji that splayed its beautiful self over his belly.
Gaara caressed him roughly, his hands harsh and demanding on his skin. His teeth traveled up to Naruto's earlobe, biting deep and probably drawing blood. The blonde arched against him, pressing his lips together to keep his gasp in as heat flooded his veins.
He shifted back on the sheets, laying down, offering himself to the pale slim form above him. His hands were still curled into the leather of the coat.
Gaara's lips twitched and he leaned down to bite a fiery trail of pain and pleasure down Naruto's chest. The T-shirt was pushed up and off and Naruto writhed helplessly, covering his mouth with a wrist, his teeth sinking into his own flesh to keep from crying out.
The redhead's hands moved to his hips, holding him still. Sharp teeth sliced a burning line down Naruto's abdomen, stopping shortly before the waistband of his pants.
Naruto arched plaintively as Gaara drew away. He dropped his arms to his sides, his breathing ragged. The quiet of the hospital room was broken by another massive snore.
The redhead smiled slightly again in the pale gloom and kissed him harshly, crushing their lips together and forcing his tongue into Naruto's mouth.
Naruto's hands locked behind the pale neck and he pressed up into the strong body above him, sighing into the kiss. Gaara pulled away again, and this time he stayed away, standing beside the bed. His eyes were teal ice, and his immobile face was set in a slightly—very slightly—amused expression.
Naruto sat up and whimpered under his breath. "Gaara?" he whispered. "Please don't go..."
The redhead reached out and ruffled Naruto's hair, that half-smile appearing again on his thin, pale lips. His eyes shifted and flicked around the room at the sleeping occupants, and one shoulder raised and dropped by millimeters.
Naruto nodded, sighing softly. "I guess."
The tall form nipped at his earlobe a last time, Naruto closed his eyes and gasped, and when he opened them again Gaara was gone, the door to the room swinging shut on silent hinges.
°
When he stepped out of the hospital and into the freezing cold of the parking lot, he already felt invigorated. Being cooped up in the dreary hospital room hadn't help matters with his psyche.
He ran a hand through his hair and made his way to the bus stop. He was still limping slightly, but the pain was bearable.
The blonde scrubbed at his neck. The tendrils of painful thought and memory were still floating nearby, but Naruto could easily keep them down just now. Gaara's visit plus the release from the hospital... Mm.
The bus stop was empty aside from a little kid and a sad-looking young lady. The three of them stood in the cold and waited. The hospital was on a huge street, and only a narrow sidewalk separated the gleaming car-lined parking lot from a wide black expanse. Cars sped past, and there was no traffic jam yet.
The gray sky reflected in the metallic colors of the automobiles, and the pavement was dark with old moisture—it must've rained the day before. Naruto shifted.
The bus came in a cloud of stinking exhaust and Naruto eagerly got on and into the warmth. The little boy from the bus stop huddled into a seat at the very back and the young lady stayed standing at the doors. The ragged gray upholstery and the flaking metal poles looked grimy in the green neon light. The floor was filthy, dirt tracked in with the wet and rain and long dirty skid marks, footsteps decorating the already disgusting linoleum.
Naruto went upstairs and sat down in the very back. This bus line started only a station before the hospital, and wasn't very full yet.
He stared out the window, trying to ignore his nervosity. His stomach was roiling.
He was going—home. To Gaara. Would the redhead be angry? It was true that he'd come to visit, and that he'd bitten and kissed him, but Naruto still hadn't told him who had hurt him—and as Jiraiya had said, he seemed to attract weirdos like Mizuki. Gaara had already had to save him from the snake-guy, and now Mizuki... Naruto sighed.
And what if—what if Gaara wasn't even there? What if he was out working and Mizuki...
Naruto shook his head and watched the cars speed by. Not good.
He'd think about something else.
°
Gaara was home after all, his dark boots standing on the step. The cool air of the stairwell gave way to the soft warmth of the apartment and Naruto took off his own shoes, moving inside. He dropped his coat on the tatami, the soft leather sighing over the smooth floor.
The blonde bit his lip and stepped toward the living room.
The pale gray light of midmorning gleamed on the tatami mats, and the red couch was occupied by a tall pale form, sitting with one knee up and the other relaxed, one arm over the back of the couch and the other holding ta magazine. Teal eyes were scanning the glossy pages and Naruto recognized it as the City magazine.
"Looking for a job?" he asked, grinning and walking to the couch.
Gaara's eyes locked onto his and he nodded, barely. Then he dropped the magazine and pulled Naruto to stand in front of him. The blonde swallowed hard, eyes caught in turquoise depths that dragged him down beyond... beyond what?
"Who?" the icy voice asked, and Naruto swallowed again.
"I—Gaara, I don't want you to keep on doing this. You did it with... Snake-guy already, I don't need you to... to hurt these people. They're my problem, and--"
Gaara snarled softly, dangerously, and suddenly Naruto was lying on the couch with teal ice an inch away from his own eyes. "You are mine, and I will protect you. Who did this?"
Naruto whimpered softly as his body reacted to the dangerous sound of the redhead's voice and the possessiveness lacing it. "I--"
"Tell me."
Naruto bit his lip. He shouldn't say it—if he did, Gaara might get into trouble with the Force, and they couldn't have that. But then, the Force was already on the lookout for Gaara, wasn't it?
"But you've already done too much for me. I'm sure he'll forget about me, he--"
Gaara's hands gripped his shoulders and shook him once, roughly. "Tell me."
And so Naruto told him. And Gaara was gone.
°
Naruto cleaned the apartment for the second time that week. It was a relaxation thing.
Then he decided to bake. His birthday party was two days away and he should be getting ready for it.
He went through the motions of cake-making mechanically, settling into a comfortable rhythm while his mind wandered and worked furiously.
He didn't know why he'd really been so reluctant to tell Gaara about Mizuki. Sure, it was true that he thought that Gaara had already done too much for him. But was that all of it?
Jiraiya's drunk voice drifted into his thoughts. "You liked it, didn't you?"
Naruto shuddered, pausing in coating the plastimetal cake form with butter. Was it that? That he... might have liked it? Some kind of strange Stockholm syndrome?
He pondered that for a moment, and then decided that that must have been it. His lip curled. He had been too far gone with his mental breakdown to notice the absurdity of it all.
The kitchen was cold, the window halfway open. He poured the batter into the cake form and shoved it into the oven. Setting the clock on the oven, he wondered what he could do while waiting.
It wasn't good to be unoccupied while waiting for Gaara to come back. He'd only get frantically worried.
He got up and peered into the fridge. Maybe there'd be something to make as dinner...
Cheese, milk, and... chives. Oh, and an old packet of ready-made meatballs.
Riiiight.
Well, shopping it was, then.
°
Naruto was packing the cake in aluminum foil when Gaara came back. The shopping bags were still standing on the counter, filled to bursting.
The redhead walked into the kitchen and pulled Naruto to himself. The blonde squeaked in surprise, dropping the roll of tin foil. Thin lips crushed onto his and Gaara basically stuck his tongue down his throat.
It wasn't until the redhead stepped back and dropped into one of the kitchen chairs with boneless, deadly grace that Naruto noticed the state of his clothing. He stared at it, then out the window where the night was just starting, the sky a dark gray-blue.
All of Gaara's clothing was drenched in stiff, blackish red blood.
"How the fuck did you get back here without getting arrested?"
Gaara glanced down at himself and almost-shrugged, getting up and leaving the room, presumably to change.
Naruto watched the blood-soaked back recede down the corridor and rolled his eyes. "Insane."
He put the cake away.
Gaara came back a few minutes later in only jeans. He helped Naruto put the groceries away, his body moving with impossible grace even through those simple tasks. He put water on to boil, and Naruto asked, "Hungry?"
The redhead almost-shrugged, then nodded.
Naruto had found out that Gaara ate anything that was remotely edible. This made life with the silent redhead easier for him; if there was one thing he wouldn't be dying because of, then it was having cooked the wrong meal.
Once they were sitting over steaming mugs of tea and waiting for the cucumber soup to finish boiling, Naruto asked softly, "Um... so I guess you found Mizuki...?"
Gaara's lips twisted into an evil and rather insane smirk.
Naruto nodded nervously. "...right."
The Sandman chuckled softly and gave him an almost-smile. "Mizuki is taken care of."
"Well... I think I should thank you, th--"
Gaara's hand left his mouth and the teal eyes looked amused. "...Later."
°
The bedroom was nicely heated and the futon was soft beneath him. He was lying on his belly, his hands clenched in the pillows and his torso twisted around so that he could meet Gaara's lips.
The gleaming cold blade of the knife was slicing hot icy lines and arcs into his skin, and the ticklish feeling of blood rolling down his skin aroused him even beyond the excitement of the dangerous knife. Gaara was breathing slightly heavier than normal and even that minuscule sign of his weakening control drew moans from Naruto.
The hard, warm body was settled between Naruto's thighs, and the hand that wasn't holding the knife in a deadly grip was tight in his hair, holding him for the hot kiss. Gaara's teeth and tongue were violent and demanding, little whimpers escaping the blonde kid beneath him.
Pale hips ground into his buttocks, hard silkiness settled between them, teasing, hinting at further violence. The knife circled a hardened nipple and Naruto broke the kiss, crying out, as the blade slit into the sensitive skin. Gaara hissed softly and the knife moved to the other nipple, his free hand leaving Naruto's hair and teasing the already bloody nub, pinching and rolling--
Naruto gasped and whimpered a plea for more. His whole body was deliciously on fire from the cuts, his blood trickling softly over his skin. The tenderness of the scrapes, the heat of the pain they caused, slithered through him and formed a hot liquid pool in the small of his back.
Gaara pressed into him again, his hard shaft rough on the sensitive skin between Naruto's buttocks. Naruto moaned and pressed into the knife on his chest, urging the redhead on. "Please... in me..."
Gaara's mouth descended on the junction of Naruto's neck and shoulder, biting and licking. Naruto arched as the knife left his nipple and settled, calm and cold, in the dip between his collarbones. He froze, pleasure and anticipation coursing through him, adrenaline making him heady.
Gaara's free hand slid down to position himself perfunctorily and then he thrust, gripping Naruto's hip in a vice-like hold. Naruto shrieked as the thick hardness slid into him in one savage pound, his entrance burning with the feeling of being stretched too far.
Gaara snarled into Naruto's skin, the sound breathless.
He pulled back and thrust again, harder this time. Naruto arched into him and moaned. The next thrust, the next, the next—each one came deeper, faster, rougher and Naruto's lust was now a tight pulsing knot at the base of his spine. He pushed back into the thrusts, the two of them establishing a rhythm that became faster and faster and more violent--
Gaara was panting by now, his chest heavy and warm on Naruto's back. Naruto sobbed breathlessly and whispered, "I need it, Gaara, please--"
The knife at Naruto's collarbone, almost forgotten, slit a hot dangerous line to the side, and Naruto screamed, unprepared for it. Gaara snarled aloud and thrust hard enough to rip the tight muscle surrounding his shaft. The heat and pain thrummed through Naruto, the knot of pleasure inside him pounding like his heartbeat, quickening and intensifying--
"Gaara! Gaara, I--" He came so hard that he almost fell unconscious, only vaguely aware of the last heavy thrusts of Gaara's hips and the ragged whisper, "Naruto," with which the redhead climaxed inside him.
He came to a few moments later, when the flaccid shaft pulled out of him and warm liquid slid over his inner thighs. He rolled over, seeking out Gaara's eyes. The redhead was settled on one elbow over him, his expression unmoving. His chest still rose and fell irregularly.
"Love you, Gaara," Naruto murmured. "Thanks for coming last night, I—I needed you."
The redhead's lips twitched and he said, "Thank your friends."
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Lalalala!
Chap IS FINISHED.
Yayness.
Okay, and people, I want reviews for this one. I got very few for the last one. Next chap should be birthday bash, k?
CYA!!!