Full Circle
A/N: Grab a coffee. It's a long one. There's a reason I don't have an editor.
BPOV
March break, I still had essays due but I managed to get to London for back-to-back shows. I hadn't seen Edward in over three weeks and the minute I got to the stadium I got Edward alone. I kissed him showing him and telling him how much I missed him. He did the same but then we had to talk: Alice, the album, midterms, Europe, fans, and, the most important discussion that we were getting much better at. Us. I aced midterms even with Alice's interruption. Edward called it unnecessary. I listed off five celebs who were ruined for much less and I sided with Alice. Edward knew I'd been talking to Leah. He tried to get me to list just one other name…of course I couldn't. He named two. But he did say he's worked things out with Alice. That was part easy.
Once we'd exhausted the other topics it was back to Edward's apologies. First about that night, for the umpteenth time, and this time I shhed him. It was behind us. That was a whole other life. But now he's apologizing about not staying on Valentine's. I didn't understand until he blushed and turned away. OH. He wanted me that night. He couldn't say it. He'd been too nervous to ask. Just like in Texas. He could stand in front of a hundred thousand people singing Naked but he couldn't ask if he could take my clothes off. It was very sweet. I was going to tell him I wanted him too, but I kissed him instead and it lit a fire. I ran my fingers through his hair and parted his lips to taste him. I couldn't touch enough of him or stop myself from wrapping myself around him thinking we should probably go somewhere more private. That was almost telling him but I needed to break it off and use those real words. Instead, we were interrupted by Emmett. Better him than cameras, for sure, but it was still embarrassing. Edward quickly kicked him out and then just held me. It had been a lot more substantial than the airport kiss and it wasn't really something I wanted to share. Emmett's interruption had me chicken out. Maybe after the show. I rationalize that didn't want him distracted in front of his fans.
It was time for sound check, then dinner. It was my turn to apologize to Edward this time but he wouldn't hear of it. He kissed me and I sat through sound check just watching him. He should have known something was up. I probably should have opted for a cold shower instead. Though for some reason Edward seemed to think they needed three takes of Naked. I just listened. It all sounded great to me but Edward heard something off. It was strange watching him be so…Eddie again. He controls everything on stage. With me, I have to lead. We need a balance. Dinner with the band meant I was bombarded with questions about school and work; they'd all heard of the famous Lauren and were giving me advice on how to get even. Emmett wanted to find out when she was going to defend her dissertation and have the band sit in the audience. That would certainly work but I shook my head. It seemed too cruel somehow. She was doing some good work in neuroplasticity which really be out there and not stifled because of a petty feud. Edward had a better idea. Give her a grant. I like it. She would use it well and maybe, just maybe, feel a little guilty. I told him I'd get back to him. Edward and I barely had time for another quick kiss before I had to let the guys get ready.
The new show really was fantastic, now incorporating most of the new album and all the hits. Though, my thoughts weren't always on the music like they had been during the shows. Looking around, my thoughts were probably similar to a lot of the audience. He's hot. He's really hot. And the chants for Naked didn't help. I do want him. Naked. I shouldn't be thinking those things about Eddie. On stage. After the show I went right back to my room not trusting my body or my thoughts, just telling Laurent I was tired so Edward wouldn't worry. Jumping on him backstage like I had months ago would not turn out the same way, I was sure. Lying on my bed, a short while later I heard him in his room, water running, he was humming a new tune and it was beautiful. But I figured our hotel should have better walls, I wanted to open the door. I was picturing him…in the shower. I waited then I opened the adjoining door just when he started to play thinking I'd knock. His door wasn't even closed.
"Can I listen from in here tonight?" I asked, a little nervous. He nodded . He'd showered, put on new jeans but nothing else and I was having a lot of the same thoughts I'd had watching the show. I got a kiss and then I snuggled into his bed while I listened. It really was beautiful. I'd been up for more than thirty hours aside from a few hours shut eye on the plane, so as much as I wanted to stay up and listen as long as Edward wanted to play, fatigue was taking over. It couldn't have been too long and Edward played my lullaby signaling the night's end.
"Bella. Goodnight, my love." I vaguely heard him get up from the keyboard and kiss me as I was drifting off. "I'll sleep in your room."
But I came to enough to murmur "Edward. Please. Stay." He hesitated for just a second, but then crawled in beside me. I sighed with his warm arms around me, which caused him to do the same. He turned out the light and rocked me to sleep, singing softly.
I was having an amazing dream that I was entangled in Edward's body and I was at peace, once again. It was a dream, but it wasn't. In the dream we were both…without clothes. Currently awake, I was wearing my navy PJs and Edward still had on his jeans. He was fast asleep even though he couldn't have been very comfortable. I carefully put my head back down on his chest and he whispered my name as he pulled me closer. I closed my eyes, content, taking in how it felt to be nestled in his arms and body in his bed again. It had been so long ago but I felt like I had never left. I lay there for a long time and I nearly drifted off again but was interrupted by a rap on the door.
"Edward. Interview. Forty-five minutes. Get up." I heard. I sighed and gave Edward's chest a few kisses before I extricated myself and answered the door. Alice was banging again with an increased urgency when I answered. Alice stepped in. She just looked at me, in shock.
"Bella?"
"Alice." What else could I say?
"So…"
"We're dressed, Alice. So – no." We'd talked a lot during the search for my birth certificate. She knew we hadn't shared a bed since that night. I told her about my love for him, but I didn't really want to share with Alice how much I wanted him again. She sleeps with a lyricist. That could be problematic. Besides I, decided, Edward was the only one who needed to know. So this morning she certainly hadn't expected me to answer his door. She gave me a once over. I've never surprised Alice. She hesitated. I knew she could rip the covers off and push him into the shower – she's done it before. But it seemed like she decided that was up to me now. It was generous of her, but I've never seen him in the shower and it wouldn't be the best time to start something like that.
"Get him up. Dressed. Forty minutes." She left immediately. I tried to shake him awake. Good thing she left.
"I love you, my Bella. Please, Bella." Edward was still dreaming. But there was no mistaking his desire. And in his sleep he was able to ask.
"I love you too, Edward." I told him without hesitation as I stroked his chest. I had to kiss him. His response was instantaneous, he held me tightly still whispering my name. He wants me. I want him. I lay on his chest, stroking, my heat building, for too long. I had to repeat to myself that we didn't have time.
"Edward. Get up. It's morning." I gave him a few more kisses and cuddled into him. He finally woke, looked at me then at himself. The bulge in his jeans told a tale and he turned away, mumbling yet another apology. I wanted to tell him I wasn't sorry, but how do I start?
"You need to be downstairs in thirty minutes. Alice's orders. Interview." I told him firmly. "Otherwise" I whispered in his ear, "I really liked that dream."
He looked at me, not really registering what I said. I had hoped it would be enough. But I had to remind myself he wasn't yet fully awake.
"Really." I told him. The bigger hint came when I ran my hand down his abdomen, my fingers gliding under the waist band of his jeans, being very careful, and then giving him a not-so-chaste kiss. My intentions were now crystal clear and he started kissing me back with an unparalleled hunger.
"OH…Bella…" He moaned. Yes. He definitely understood. His jeans became even more taut as he pressed his body to mine. At this point, words were a little superfluous.
Then, there was more banging. Damn.
"He's up, Alice!" I called but then I couldn't say another word as Edward parted my lips and our tongues met. As we kissed again and again I wondered how long it would really take. I wanted him. There was no doubt he wanted me. I sighed. But it wasn't that sigh. We had things to do. Other things.
"You'll be late." I told him trying to slow my breathing.
"I… don't… care." He mumbled almost incoherently as he pressed his lips and body to mine again. Even through our clothing I could feel his heat. I could feel mine. I nearly succumbed. No. We need to do this right. He can't be late.
"Alice will kill us. Get up." I wasn't exactly convincing as I kissed him again. And again.
"Bella…" I'd never heard my name said with such desire. And his mouth on mine, his body covering mine…oh god. But we can't. He moaned. There is so not the time for this. Conversation. That would be good.
"I was wondering…" I started.
"Yes, Bella." He tried to pull off my top, I just interlaced his hands in mine. Though remembering what he'd done to me last the time he'd removed my top caused me to flush in all the right places.
"How I was going to tell you I want you."
"I would say you succeeded." Edward smiled at me and distracted me yet again with his body.
"Maybe too well?" I asked him. He started to show me just how well but seemed to understand where I was going with this and rolled off me.
"Too well." He sighed, now working on controlling his own breathing.
"So now that that's out in the open we just need…"
"Time." He groaned. Neither of us have much of it. And we have even less of it together.
"Time." I agreed. He finally got up and stood in front of me. No longer shying away. His desire was still incredibly evident and I wasn't exactly sure how the zipper was holding. He caught me staring and smiled. I blushed. I wanted to undo his zipper and really see what I was missing but instead I stood and gave him a quick kiss.
"I think I'll just leave my door open next time." I more than hinted. I was leaving even before the show ended tonight. There's no next time for a long time. He knew it but couldn't resist making a point.
"So…you do like the jeans?" He tilted my chin and saw me blush. I liked the jeans alright. And what was inside. I could only nod. I didn't think he needed more encouragement but that was all it took to press me to him yet again. We were both oh-so-close as he whispered "I could take them off." right in my ear. His shyness in the bedroom was no more. That almost broke my resolve.
"You need a shower. Cold." I told him as I pushed him in the direction of his bathroom and reluctantly headed into my room alone to shower and change. I didn't close the door. He showed restraint and didn't follow but he was much faster than I was and walked into my bathroom perfectly dressed whereas I was standing in my new bra and panties. We kissed a real kiss and his hands roamed as I let out a little moan. This was so not conducive to getting dressed but it was very pleasant. Just one more kiss I kept telling myself after the first one, and then again after the fifth one. Finally, I had to hold him still and push him away.
"This doesn't really constitute next time. Go. You'll be late." I told him, a little breathless. He ogled me some more and I figured his TV interview could do without the bulge in his new pair of jeans. That would definitely get Twitter going. "Think of Jake…in the buff. Does it for me." I told him.
"Do you do that often?" He asked pulling me back towards him, yet again. I didn't get the sense he was jealous. Maybe more curious as to when I would need such a skill.
"No. Only when a certain someone gives me music to listen to on a plane that basically recreates an orgasm. Three hundred people, Edward, at least half of them knew me by name. I had to lock myself in the bathroom." This told him I'd really been thinking of being with him since just after Christmas. And it wasn't the best thing to say since I was nearly, yes I can actually say the word, naked.
"Oh, uh...yeah." Edward. Usually articulate. Until now.
"It's one of my favorite pieces, Edward." I told him with a kiss. I didn't want to say it was usually accompanied by a very long shower.
"So, I can play it for you. Later?" He asked. Hopeful. I actually think this was Edward's idea of foreplay. And it would actually work. I nodded.
"Later…much later. For now, only in my dreams." I clarified. Next time we had time alone I'd be directing him, at least at first, away from the piano. He might not ask, at least while he's awake, but I will. We'll have to check our schedules, which really sucks. In April. Anticipation. That's the key. We really couldn't have done this earlier. January had way too much drama for Edward and I to get anywhere close to a common bed. But we came out so much stronger through it all. That needed to happen before we wound up in bed together again. Valentine's really would have been far too cliché and we're not exactly a cliché couple. Quite the opposite. I'm glad we'd waited this time. But now, it will be even longer. My sigh didn't reflect my thoughts. I finally had the good sense to put on a robe and Edward cocooned me in it for his own protection as he kissed me again.
"I…uh…should go." He said between kisses, hesitating. I nodded. I hadn't helped his current problem with my recent confession or my attire. And Edward's eidetic memory for music didn't help either. I had the feeling he would be thinking of Jake a lot today. I would need to as well. I kissed him again but pushed him out into his own room telling him I love him and that I'd see him tonight before I locked the adjoining door. We'd meet again at the stadium with the band. Not exactly intimate. My long sigh could probably be heard on the other side of the door just as I could hear him whisper my name. It took everything I had not to reopen the door. I had to redirect my thoughts. Jake. Alice. Alice would not be happy if Edward was late. This was confirmed by another series of bangs I heard on his door seconds later telling him his time was up. That was certainly nowhere nearly enough time for what I'd wanted to do with Edward.
I finally dressed, got a driver and did a day tour of London with Irina (Tanya was pet-sitting again). I'd written an essay on the flight over and planned to edit it on the way back. I had a whole day where Edward had engagements and I wasn't about to squander a trip to London. I would make up the study time. Edward had been here on four prior tours and as I did my sightseeing I realized he'd seen none of it. I loved the city; I just wish I could have shared it with Edward. We were finally in the same city but still apart. I would have preferred to bike, run or to have taken one of those double decker buses to check out the city but I'd become almost a part of the band. I took photos that I'd send to Jake and also had to pose for my share of pics. Everywhere I went I heard my name. Irina and I watched from beside the tower of London as it rose to allow a tall ship's passage and even managed to walk across Tower Bridge with more than a few followers. There must have been a thousand eyes on me, as I tried to take in the whole experience. I shuddered with a poster of a Jack-the-Ripper tour. I didn't understand the fascination. He was a monster and he killed people, why would anyone want to relive that? I much preferred the Globe theatre and Romeo and Juliet. It really makes my relationship with Edward look easy in comparison. We'd worked out our issues without poison or death. Best of all we have family in our corner - his family loves me and I love them and Leah and Jake think Edward is good for me. They are usually the voice of reason – unless we're talking Leah. Edward and I just need to look ahead now, we've come so far. By five o'clock on my one day tour I was beat, I'd seen most of the major sites and I'd had my photo taken at least 10 000 times. I was tired of smiling but also a little euphoric. This made me think of Edward. All the time. My life. I'd finally made the decision to truly join him.
Edward and I had a few minutes to catch up before our dinner reservation and he told me my solution had worked earlier for the hard problem he needed to solve. I pursed my lips and tried desperately not to blush. The fact that Emmett and Jazz were in the room, made for the cryptic thank-you and now he was holding me close, for kisses. It certainly wasn't working now and I had to suppress a moan. We had to break apart as we talked about our day. I was about to tell him what I did when he took out his phone and waved it at me. Smiling. He started his list.
"The parliament buildings, Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, Hyde Park, The British Museum, St Paul's Cathedral, The tower of London, Tower Bridge, the Globe Theatre and round-trip on the cable car. Bella. You do know London isn't going anywhere, right? You can come back. We can come back."
He'd been following me on Twitter! Every spare minute he had as he was being shuttled around London. What a devil! I told him about it anyway and got what was supposed to be a little kiss again. Emmett coughed. When Emmett's uncomfortable that should really tell us something. I sat down beside Edward just holding his hand, even then, when I looked at him it caused a flutter. Now I felt a little guilty not keeping up with his day. I heard about the TV interview, and then there was a meet-and-greet for some contest winners. They were the ones who had told Edward I'd done the stairs at St. Paul's and showed him the Twitter feed. A tour of the children's hospital followed and the teens were thrilled with meeting the band and an impromptu acapella by Edward. And though the album just came out, the band couldn't pass up an opportunity for some studio time where some of the greatest musicians of all time had recorded so they spent part of the afternoon laying new tracks. The sound check went flawlessly. I was exhausted just from having fun. I wanted to sleep and technically Edward's work day hadn't even really begun. He earns a lot of money – I still have absolutely no desire to know how much – but no one has any idea how hard he actually works. After sound check we headed out to dinner, just the two of us, not even considering going back to the hotel for room service. That would not have been a good idea. Dinner was great. Fans had found us, of course, and dinner for two wound up being everyone in the whole restaurant just watching us eat with Laurent and Irina sitting quietly at the next table. I was really starting to get used to the audience and we even posed for pics between courses. We talked a little more about my classes and Edward's upcoming schedule. Obviously, we couldn't talk about our morning.
When we got back I gave Emmett, Garrett and Jazz all hugs. They were already raring to go and it was still an hour before show time. I had to leave before the encore that night so I gravitated back to Edward and with the whole band looking on I gave him a slow kiss. Jazz and Garrett basically ran out of the dressing room pulling Emmett along to leave us alone for a private good-bye. We were already pressed together so closely. We kissed again and had our hands up each other's shirts before we both shook our heads. Not here.
"You're back in April. I'll be done classes. But I have exams. We'll have two days, I think, Edward. Check with Alice."
"I don't want to 'check with Alice' especially after this morning." This morning. Sigh.
"We have years of this, Edward. If I get into Columbia travel will be easier, but classes will be harder. We're trying to make it work. Check with Alice. Please."
"What if I rescheduled…" He started but I cut him off. Not the most important of reasons but huge headlines jumped out at me.
"No. No more what ifs, Edward. Remember? And as much as I would love to stay…" It would be easier for me, in theory. But missing a lab doesn't bode well to keep my vet school plans alive.
"I know, Bella. Study. I want you to move to New York. But…I've missed you." He said the last part so quietly I had to strain to hear. Edward, oh so good at declarations of love was still a little shy about his desires. I knew this…last time I was not exactly subtle. But this was hot. Asking what he missed wouldn't be the way to go. I would do that. Later.
"Edward. We'll make it work. We know we can do this in the time we have. I love you."
"You're right, Bella. Always. We'll have a couple days. Then, school's over, right?"
"Exams. Then I'm done. Then back to Texas." I hadn't called Dr. Snow yet but I figured it would work for both of us. Jake too. And I'd spend some time at the vineyard. "Then, I wait to see if I'm going somewhere next year."
"Or…come on tour first, just for a month?" Edward blurted this out and seemed shocked at himself. Then he looked at me waiting patiently for my reply. Again, hopeful. It wouldn't be the vineyard. But it would have exactly what I would be usually be missing. Time with Edward. I was going to say I'll think about it. But no. I've done that this whole year.
"I'd like that."
"Maybe. But, Bella, it will be different. The fans…" He was rethinking his offer. Worried about me. Again.
"Shh, Edward. I'm here. With you. I'm not going anywhere. And we've managed the rumors, the fans and the press this whole year. Apart. Can we just try it together?"
"Together." He repeated. We kissed. Nothing easier than that. We just had to decide one final detail. I took both his hands and tried not to shake.
"So, can I expect you at my place in April?" I caressed him with a kiss. He knew exactly what I was asking. This was a different kind of together.
"I'll be there even if I have to buy a plane." He smiled. So did I. I was wanted. By Edward.
"Good." I sighed a little before he held me. My place with Edward. It seems fitting, somehow. He seemed to think so too as he took me in his arms.
"I love you, Bella." We shared a deep kiss. Our thoughts were in the exact same place. Total desire. Unfortunately, it was almost time for me to go and not undress him. We'd make time for that.
"So, should I tell you to think of Jake again?" I asked him. He certainly needed to right about now.
"Do you think it would be strange if I phoned him in the middle of the show?"
"That might cause a scandal."
"I can think of better ways." He said and was already kissing me again pressing his body firmly to mine. Absolute desire. He was certainly getting better at expressing it. But no. Not yet. And definitely not backstage. If I thought Valentine's was cliché, that had absolutely nothing on a dressing room with a Eddie Masen. Never. Even if Edward is the opposite of cliché when it comes to rock stars. He finally sighed likely thinking along those same lines.
"No scandals." I told him, putting a finger to his lips. "Just you and me. Us. In Florida. Alone. Before I go, is there anything important you've forgotten to tell me, say, since we met?"
"I'm Edward. Masen." He looked at me with puppy-dog eyes, knowing we've come such a long way to be having this conversation so candidly. Up until two months ago I would have wound up in tears again.
"That would have been a great introduction 10 months, no, 9 months ago. You're skating on thin ice, Cullen." But I smiled. He just nodded, and pulled me towards him for another kiss I didn't want to end but he only had half an hour before he was wanted by the masses and not only by me. And he needed that half hour. Alone. "I love you, Edward." I sighed as I broke away. Then I winked, tapped his tush and left the dressing room. The opening act was just finishing up and I listened from backstage just taking in the music until they were done. Edward wasn't the only one who needed to regroup. Just before the houselights were dimmed again Irina and I went to get our seats. There were many glances and calls in my general direction as I waved then sat down and took in the show. I briefly wondered if anyone but me would notice he rubbed his butt twice where I'd tapped it at different times during the concert. Probably. They'd tweet that he has a cute ass. I'd have to agree. Maybe the jeans are worth it after all. At the end of the set, before the encore, I blew him a kiss along with the whole audience before heading to the airport with Irina.
I hated getting on that plane. But I sucked it up. I wondered if it had been as hard on him this year all along. I'd been out of reach but he stood by me. It's not going to be easy but we're going to make this work. This is how it is and it's not going to change. Neither one of us want to change who we are, even though I know Edward would do it for me – in a heartbeat. I wouldn't want him to. And no matter what lies ahead I know we won't give up, not after this year. I tried to think about Edward just a little less and I made the most of the flight time. Even though I've barely travelled with Edward this year and I didn't recognize any of the flight attendants they all knew exactly what I liked and brought a blanket and continuous Perrier as I edited my essay and studied. I smiled, I was used to being Eddie's girl by now. I knew the more I studied these next four weeks, the less I would have to do when Edward got back so I threw myself into my books every single day.
I had my last essay and my honors thesis done a week later. I thought I knew what to expect when I dropped off my thesis with Lauren that following Monday. On Thursday when she tracked me down away from the office and handed it back I expected it would contain more than a few inappropriate comments and for it to be littered with song titles even though it really was some of my best work. I figured I'd just print off a new copy and hand it in. Instead, Lauren talked with me at length about my paper and my research. She really did her job and read it thoroughly enough to quote parts of it. She said she was impressed. I was completely shocked. She'd written down a few little suggestions before my submission which I really did appreciate, and caught a few spelling and grammar errors that I was glad I could correct before my final draft. I thanked her and she looked surprised. She really was expecting my ire at her complete lack of support all year and she mumbled an apology for not taking me seriously. I nodded. It was enough. I knew enough by now about stereotypes. They're hard to overcome. Then, no longer self-conscious, I wished her luck. That caused her to blush and smile. It was obvious she'd bought the new album. I smiled a little too. We were never going to be friends but I was getting so much better at this forgiveness thing. I'll need to tell Edward. And I'll look into her dissertation in a couple years.
A few of days later, with my honors thesis revamped and submitted, I got a jump on my review for finals. I'd thought of Maggie every so often and kept in touch. She'd ask silly questions about Edward or the band or me and my answers were always the absolute truth. I got a reply to my e-mails to her at the end of March from her mom, telling me of her passing which I forwarded to Edward. He'd send something nice and I didn't doubt he'd let her mom play the song I sent her at the funeral. Knowing Edward, he'd send another song too. And then he'll tell no one but make some insane donation to cardiac research. This time, I'll ask. When he called late that night - early morning for Edward - he'd already sent his condolences, flowers and a new song that he played for me that seemed to embody Maggie's spirit. And Edward's favorite number seems to be twenty million. Edward was a little too jubilant when I asked about the money. Again, already forwarded, he said, split between twenty different research projects all around the world after a lengthy consult with Carlisle. He didn't sleep again and he only let me go when it was nearly my bedtime. I got more than a few telephone kisses, they'll do, but nothing can replace the real thing. I had made up my mind about Edward but felt I should follow through, not just for Maggie. I talked with Jake, Leah and Ang about my love for Edward and they all gave me their own brand of advice. But despite some crazy innuendo from Jake, a little screeching about Eddie and the new album from Leah, a bit more gushing about Esme from Ang and a whole lot of worry from the lot of them, woven within all their concerns was an overriding theme; the heart wants what it wants even if it is wrapped up in a crazy life like Edward's. And then I had to ask Jake for a favor again. I was bracing for a little payback but Jake just said he'd send them FedEx. I thanked him. Then he said that they'd be coming. Jake, it's a good thing Leah puts up with him.
I continued to cram for finals determined to carve out a day for Edward's visit. The night would sort itself out, I hoped. But then the band's plans changed with the album reaching twenty times platinum, there were more interviews in detour back to London, which coincided with my exams and left me ample time for additional studying and in all likelihood helped to secure my place at Columbia. Edward sent me a selfie. He'd walked across Tower Bridge with almost all of London before the award ceremony. And then he took his keyboard on the London Eye – Alice sent me those videos. He so rarely plays without the band in public – and the acoustics actually worked in the sphere. Apparently, an appearance anywhere by Eddie Masen is really good for London tourism. This was confirmed by Leah who quickly texted me saying she now wants to go to London. He did look mighty adorable in the little glass bubble which really mirrors his life. And now mine. Edward and I talked every morning or night briefly but not about upcoming visit. Nerves may have been getting the better of both of us. He'd still forward me many familiar melodies for my bedtime and then some new tunes as well, every note coursing with desire. I was a little curious what lyrics Jazz might come up with, but I really wouldn't want Edward to sing them to anyone but me. My sleep was laced with passion-filled dreams and I was counting the minutes until he came home. I need him. I want him. Again.
My last exam had just ended. I got in the door with my school bag and Tanya was helping with the groceries. I was starting to panic. Edward would be knocking on the door in four short hours. It had been more than a month since our last backstage kiss. If one can really call it just a kiss. I was trying to remember to breathe. However much I wanted to meet Edward at the airport it wasn't practical; our kisses were more than memorable and were still being talked about. And given that we hadn't seen each other for nearly five weeks I didn't want our reunion caught on camera. I tried to concentrate on making dinner instead and called Paul six times in the span of a couple hours to figure out the recipes; I was so nervous. Then, it wasn't me calling out.
"Hi Jake."
"You're sure, Bells?" he asked.
"Sure of what?"
"Edward's coming to see you today, I'm gathering. Paul just called and he said you were flustered. And Leah said the band has two days off before SNL." Oh. After my last call Paul must have felt I needed reinforcements. And why does Leah know more about the band than I do? I didn't know they were doing SNL again. Oh yeah, she doesn't shy away from social media like the plague. And she probably has the radio on constantly while she's building the new barn at her uncle's. Edward and I always have so much to talk about; his crazy schedule doesn't necessarily make it into our time limited conversations. Or, if it does, sometimes even Edward doesn't know what city he's in or what the day holds until he gets briefed by Alice. I should really just get Alice to send me his calendar.
"Yeah, he'll be here soon. I'm making dinner."
"Is he…staying?" Oh. Jake. He's far more subtle than I ever was.
"Yes." I told him. Certain. It wasn't a maybe this time.
"So you're still sure, Bells?"
"Yes. I told you I was sure in London. We ran out of time. Thanks for the care package."
"OK Bells, just checking again. No problem. So… what you're really saying is …you're ready to park his Ferrari in your garage?" He paused for effect. I really do know better than to ever call Jake subtle. I briefly wondered how long it took for him to come up with that one. Then a new panic ensued.
"Jake! That had better not make its way onto Twitter!" I begged and cringed. I could see it clear as day – a few million fans. All of them vying for his Ferrari. There would be little Ferrari emojis. Pin-the-Ferrari on Eddie games. Or worse… a driving game. Shit. My baseball and stallion analogies had nothing on Jake. Especially when multiplied millions of times. Damn. All Jake could do was laugh.
"Not a chance, Bells. We're good."
"OK." I exhaled. "But, I must admit, this does make me question your infatuation with that car." At least I got him back, a bit. But he didn't bite.
"Sometimes a Ferrari is just a Ferrari, Bells. Can you call me as soon as he's left for New York? There's something I really want to talk with you about." He sounded like he'd blurt it out in a nanosecond if given half the chance. It must be news.
"Jake. You can't leave me hanging like that. Just tell me now. He won't be here for a couple hours."
"You're not meeting him at the airport?" He laughed again. I'm sure Leah had shown him all the photos and videos.
"No! That was a disaster of epic proportions. He's coming here. So… what are you so excited about?"
"I'm going to ask Leah." Jake said. Just a statement. A HUGE statement. But he actually didn't sound nervous. Just eager. I still had to confirm.
"Marriage. That's a huge step. You're sure, Jake?"
"Don't echo me, Bells. And I'm positive." Such a different Jake than one year ago. I bet he'd say the same thing about me.
"Good. Great! I have an inkling she's say yes, Jake." He could almost see my grin; I was so thrilled for both of them.
"And you? I like the necklace, Bells. And the earrings. Any more diamonds on the horizon?" Leah had asked me this the second she'd seen the photos of me with the necklace. I'd said no before she had a chance to ask after the earrings had made a poll in People. And I denied it yet again, but Jake now had me thinking. Edward and I had been nearly ripped apart, but we'd put our relationship back together. We'd survived, and even grown closer while we've been separated by time and space. I can't imagine ever being without him. But that's a whole other step. We should probably try to at least be on the same continent for a little while before we talk rings.
"I'm waiting for acceptance to schools, Jake. Not a proposal. Edward and I are in a good place right now. But I can't wait to hear the story of your proposal from Leah. Don't take The Thing, Jake. Or the Ferrari. Leah just wants you, Jake. I've got to go. I'm still trying to make dinner."
"He can't afford a restaurant? Really, Bells, tell him I could lend him a few bucks." Jake knows this is a pretty touchy subject. And that's exactly why he comments every chance he gets. A form of desensitization a la Jake. It might be working.
"Shut up, Jake. Going out with three bodyguards is not exactly romantic. Not to mention the cameras and the fans. Make Leah dinner, Jake. And go buy a ring." I told him.
"I already have one." This was really serious. Jake wasn't wasting any more time. Good. He'd learned his lesson. Like Edward. Like me.
"Congrats. Jake. When? No, wait don't tell me, Leah will call and I'll be surprised and over the moon. She's a lucky girl, Jake. Just lay off the innuendo." We signed off, with no false promises from Jake, and I finished getting dinner prepped with one final call to Paul. He was almost reassured when I told him I'd talked to Jake.
Ninety minutes later, I'd taken the dogs out, sent Tanya and Irina home (they live three floors down, so it's quite the daily commute), taken a shower, put on the dark wash jeans and green blouse that Edward had bought for me, did my hair and put on some music. I put the chicken in the oven and I was finally relegated to pacing the living room. The dogs were watching me probably wondering what had possessed me. As soon as I heard the buzzer I nearly jumped out of my skin. Breathe Bella. It's Edward. He'd brought flowers and dinner. We hadn't had a chance to talk before his flight.
"You cooked, Bella, it smells delicious." He said. Laurent was behind him or I would have done something more than nod, take the flowers and give him a tiny kiss. Maybe it wasn't so tiny. And I saw Edward eye me from head to toe glad my efforts were not wasted. He always looks like he's ready for a photo shoot – no surprise - but still worth an ogle.
"Paul helped." I explained.
Laurent was thrilled to get Edward's care package but when Edward tried to kick him out the door telling him he'd call; Laurent paused and asked me if I needed anything else.
"I'm good. Edward seems to be strongly suggesting you take the night off. Have fun." I think he wanted to say you too but wasn't convinced it was a good career move. I would have said I plan to. He gave me a quick hug and said goodnight.
Then, it was just the two of us.
"I missed you." I said, though it couldn't have been more obvious. We stared at each other and then hugged. Edward nibbled my neck and then parted my lips. He pulled me to him and I moaned. This was a much better kiss than we could have had at the airport as our tongues jostled and Edward caressed my backside while my hands were up his shirt. My next sigh shouldn't have been Edward's cue to break away.
"Wine, Bella?" He smiled, put a finger to my lips and poured us each a glass as I nodded. We'd spoken every day since I'd left London but not for long since the time change was still a challenge. And Alice seemed to think the boys were superhuman and had them at about six appearances during the day plus a show every night. I usually got a kiss, a brief update and he played for me. He always wanted to hear about my days too but studying is about as exciting as it sounds, though the tiny kittens we found abandoned in a backpack outside the shelter were adorable and the manatee calf born at the aquarium was a first. Edward commented then about how much I love babies and acknowledged he does too. But we obviously hadn't had enough time to really talk and, given our history, it was a very good idea.
So, we talked. I told him about my finals which I thought I'd aced, and he finally confessed the change in the band's schedule was really his doing. And here I was blaming Alice. Edward just said he was worried he would be a distraction; the award in London was as good as an excuse as any. I shook my head but Edward stopped me while he demonstrated some of what he would have done if he'd been in a week earlier. I was definitely distracted as I turned into putty in his hands. My body was on fire. He was right, there's no way I would have been able to study. I was burning with desire. I was completely ready to skip dinner but then, the buzzer rang. Edward bounced up, like he was home, when he had actually never set foot in my kitchen, put on the pasta, reset the timer and brought us both back some Perrier leaning over the couch to kiss me before he sat back down. In his non-existent free time he'd become Jamie Oliver. But this was Edward – maybe he had a dinner invite to Jamie's I didn't know about, he did spend two extra days in London. Those few minutes he was gone gave me a chance to catch my breath and regroup. I was able to ask him about the next tour and everyone. Alice and Rose had called me on occasion with big news (Masen Hale topped the Forbes list of musicians for the fourth year in a row – not something I wanted to know, really), to quell stupid rumours (Eddie was going to dye his hair again - I figured he would have told me that one and that he would at least have let me weigh in. I would have voted no) and with Elizabeth updates (she took a step – this was actually exciting!) but they really tried not to overwhelm me knowing I was immersed in classes.
Edward was already pumped about the next tour and it was a much easier schedule than Europe – a lot of back to back shows, and hence less travel. But we were now both excited that I'd be joining them for all of May and I really hoped we'd get a city tour in somewhere. Together. Afterwards, Masen Hale was touring Asia and I was heading back to the vineyard for the summer to work with Jake and Dr. Snow again. Of course, we'd be apart, yet again, but Edward understood my goals and was supportive. And both Leah and Jake were thrilled when I'd told them I'd be coming home. I finally found out why Kate had had less than her usual spark when I was in London and she hadn't wanted to tell me because of everything that was already on my plate. She had a miscarriage at ten weeks but Edward reassured me she was ok and that I could call her later. I was more than a little mad that hair dye and Forbes ranked over Kate in Alice's and Rose's reporting, but then again Kate's miscarriage wasn't all over Twitter. I hoped it would stay that way. I immediately picked up the phone. Kate.
Kate told me herself that she really was doing better and that she'd talk to me on tour next week, that I had very important things to do tonight and not to worry. She hung up before I got another word in.
I looked at Edward.
"You talked to Alice?" I asked. He nodded.
"She told Kate." I said, blushing.
"And Rose and Jazz. Kate told Garrett and Rose told Em. I got an earful from every one of them, Bella, especially Alice and Jazz. But none of that matters. I'm not saying anything to them. And neither will Laurent if he comes to pick me up tonight. I'll wait, Bella. Forever."
"Does that mean you want me?"
"You think I don't? What was that in London?"
"I think you do. You just don't say it."
"I know. It's hard. I have a lot of good role models when it comes to relationships, Bella. Not true for a lot of musicians or celebrities, I can tell you the stereotype of a new girl in bed every night is unfortunately very accurate. I could never do that." Edward had said a lot, just not those words exactly.
"No, I've seen it Edward. If you wanted any of that you certainly wouldn't be here. So what do you want to say?"
"Jazz has me imply it to the world, Bella. It's a little harder to say when I…" He stopped.
"When you what?" I really wanted to know.
"Bella…" He looked at me reddening. But I nodded. This is important.
"When I want to. When I mean it. To the only one I love. When I want to be with you in every possible way. To hold you and touch you to express my love for you. My love for you has grown every day. I sometimes think it's impossible to love you any more than I do. I want you, Bella. I want you in my bed again." He said. Then stopped. Edward doesn't stop worrying. "But that doesn't mean it needs to be tonight, Bella."
"I want you, too." I told him with a kiss. And just in case I wasn't crystal clear. "I think tonight is perfect." My next kiss could have undressed him but I broke it off. Dinner was going to be ready in minutes. We were doing this as I planned.
"But…" I hesitated. "…do you have protection?" He nodded. I could have just told him I have it covered. Jake had sent not only six condoms this time but six boxes along with six bottles of wine in his care package. The note? Instructions: 1. Drink. 2. Get Naked. –J. It was very good advice. I planned to follow it. Step one was well underway.
"Yes. Laurent did me a favor." Edward explained. "Too many people know already. I didn't really want to be seen in the pharmacy."
"Good. I have a stash too. I started on the pill but I think it takes a while." No secrets now, and after last time, I wasn't about to take any chances or I could kiss vet school goodbye.
"We're not ready for parenthood, I know. Someday, Bella." He smiled and looked at me like he could see our future.
"Someday." I echoed. It seemed like something we'd never actually talked about was now just a given. A whole future. Together. I'd been working so hard on just figuring out how I was feeling not only about Edward and everything involved in his career but my studies and my applications. I hadn't really thought too much further than tonight and getting replies from vet schools. But everything about someday felt exactly right. Then it snowballed. Edward doesn't do things halfway. That I already knew. But he seized the opportunity to talk about me moving into the loft when I got into Columbia. He said when, not if. He's a lot more confident than I am. He even said I shouldn't worry about tuition, books, a new computer or anything else I would need as I tried to shake my head. He worked his magic, locking my mouth with his, caressing my body… my brain was barely following the conversation. The resistance on my part was waning …it was hard to say no when my whole body was saying yes.
"Belated birthday present?" he whispered in my ear as he continued to caress my cheek and followed with more kisses. And I sort-of got him socks last year. Great. All I could do was kiss him back and he beamed. I guess that was a yes in his book. We'll need to talk about it later. Much later. Turning towards Edward just watching me with his smile it looked like he believed he wouldn't have any trouble giving me a present ever again. I couldn't think of a good argument, Edward wants to share himself, his life and make babies with me one day. Those things are so much more valuable to me. But, like I said, we'll have to talk later. And I can't just buy him socks.
I leaned back into him on the couch as he kissed my temple and ran his hand down my chest settling on my abdomen. Someday. Now his comments from a few weeks ago about loving babies took on a brand new meaning. I didn't have to wonder if he'd had the same thoughts I just did, he simply started humming a lullaby with his hand on my belly. Too soon. Way too soon. So, he had a really hard time telling me he wants me in his bed but no difficulty whatsoever telling me he'd like me to carry his child. He doesn't talk about having sex or even making love, but leaps right to making babies. Only Edward. I so love him. But before I had more time to consider that thought the buzzer rang and we served the pasta and stuffed chicken parmigiana with another glass of wine. The toast was simple but had meaning. 'To us'.
Dinner was great, Paul outdid himself even from a thousand miles away. The chocolate mousse I made was decent but for some reason Paul's is way better even though I followed the exact same recipe. Having Edward kiss me after every second bite was a little decadent and the best part. After we tidied the kitchen Edward asked me about a movie – we could do pay-per-view or call Laurent to head to the theatre - I just shook my head. We both knew exactly what we wanted; I wish he'd say it again. I pulled him onto the couch again and couldn't believe how much my body craved his touch. I pulled his shirt off and ran my hands on his abs. It crossed my mind that I still hadn't watched that video – I might have bit my lip to contain my smile so he had to ask. It was a little embarrassing. When he asked if I wanted to I told him I got the gist. Running my hands and lips over his abs was a little more than the gist. He finally decided that if his shirt needed to be on the floor mine did too.
We kissed again and again. When his lips and tongue touched my breasts it was causing me to make sounds I hadn't heard before. He had to kiss me to quiet me - I had sort of forgotten I have neighbours. In Tampa, it's not quite like Texas.
"I love you, Edward. Make love to me." I said. It was best not to be subtle about what I wanted now. Edward might come up with a new soliloquy and though I loved his tender words I was now up for more show than tell. To say we got naked is a huge an understatement. He carried me to the bedroom and took the rest of my clothing off in slow motion. Edward relishing in every inch of skin I hadn't allowed him to touch for so long. When I didn't think I could take anymore I pinned him to the bed and did the same. Undoing that elusive zipper one notch at a time was worth the wait. I listened intently to Edward's increasing pulse and raged breathing every step of the way. He didn't rush me. The zipper eventually made its way down and I peeled off his jeans and the alpaca socks. The way he sighed brought more attention to his boxers. They were next and gone quickly. Last time, I hadn't really looked at him in all his glory. He let me, I figured his shirtless phobia might translate to the lower half of his body, but no. He even let me touch. His guttural moan told me he liked it, maybe a little too much. I worked my way back up his chest to his lips and cuddled in pulling up the covers. Our naked bodies were burning but we rushed nothing. We lingered with every touch and our love-making was slow and tender, a reflection of the last ten months as we got to know each other and show our trust again.
When I woke the next morning, Edward was giving me exquisite kisses me on my cheek and neck. I cuddled into his chest, our lower halves still entangled. I sighed and I whispered to him "I want that…in music."
"Already written, my Bella." He hummed his newest melody, which was causing me to tingle, as he picked me up and carried me to my toothbrush. When I was done I handed it to him and started talking with him about breakfast. There was something much more pressing in his thoughts when he was done with the sink and started kissing me, picking me up again. There was an urgency in his kisses I had never felt before as he carried me back to bed. My body responded like lightening to this new composition Edward had in mind. I did not have to ask what he wanted but he still told me.
"I want to make love to you, Bella." I certainly didn't deny him. While our love-making the night before was like meandering through a meadow hand-in-hand until we fell down the rabbit hole of ecstasy, this morning it turned into a race through the forest at breakneck speed culminating in an epic freefall when I cried out 'EDDIE!' Edward silenced me immediately with a kiss and silent laughter which caused both our bodies to explode with pleasure again. I calmed, taking a few breaths. "Edward. Edward."
He just kissed my earlobe, murmuring "Isabella. I love you, Isabella. My Bella." I liked that very much. We were done with the name game. It's just us, here, now. We could do this together. Forever. I cuddled into him whispering I love yous of my own.
An hour later, however comfortable I still was, with Edward nibbling on my collarbone, enveloped in his nakedness, we couldn't stay in bed all morning. The dogs were waiting and I so didn't want this all over Twitter. Tanya and I were taking the dogs running, Irina was busy and my guess was Laurent was too. At some point they better come clean with the boss. Edward wasn't coming. No one knew he was here other than the band. No press, no paparazzi. He said he flew into Orlando, booked a studio and as far as anyone knew he was recording and writing. A little reprieve from fans, just for a day, he said. I couldn't help but smile. I wasn't ready to share him at all today and now I didn't have to. We headed out and a few of the fans suggested I head to Orlando. I stuck to the simple truth that I was leaving Tampa and had to pack. I got kisses and pancakes on my return and loved that our private time really was private. We sat and talked and cuddled and kissed all afternoon, I imagined us back at the vineyard on the porch. I finally relented and watched the notorious shirtless video, not only wasn't it bad, it was incredibly hot. Masen Hale hottie is right. Edward actually kinda sparkled under the purple stage lighting. Maybe I should talk to Kate about lighting for the bedroom. When I blushed I had to tell Edward all my thoughts. That's when he took his shirt off again just for me. And we headed back into the bedroom. I kissed every inch of his six pack, and every inch below that too. Another first for us and I must say he liked it. A lot. Later, he made me watch the airport kiss. There was a lot of video, every angle imaginable. Someone, and Edward seriously thinks it was Garrett, had made a whole Naked music video with just video and stills from the kiss – which I'd just learned had lasted only three and a half seconds. Well, I showed him I could do better. He returned the favor - everywhere. His oral talents certainly don't stop at music.
He did help me pack a little but mostly I told him stories of my knickknacks bought or more likely traded for wine by dad, Sam or Paul on delivery trips or supply runs. His favorite was a little fisherman that was a magnetic paper clip holder. Mine too. Dad didn't go often but he always loved a day at sea and he always came back with a huge haul, so the magnet was very fitting. It's silly how such stupid things become sentimental. Edward put it in the New York box giving me a hug.
Edward thought wine was due and, as such, he found the care package sent by Jake. And the note.
"Bella? Did he know I'd be here only two days?" I nodded.
"Maybe he figured they're not available in Canada." I rationalized. I hadn't even looked at them.
"Either that or I feel woefully inadequate." Edward pulled out all six boxes, different brands, different sizes. "Did you know he bought extra-small?" Jake would have so not found those at the local pharmacy they were barely the size of a finger cot. He drove into the city for specialty items just for a lark. I found a different box in his hand and showed him.
"And extra-extra large." If these fit I'd run for cover. Jake was so going to hear about this.
"Well..."
"Edward. You're perfect. Put the ones you want in my suitcase."
"Are you going to tell him you followed his instructions?"
"Probably. It's not like he won't just ask. He's Jake."
"And what will you say?"
"I'll thank him for the package. Tell him it was helpful. He can extrapolate."
"Leah?"
"I'll tell her nothing. She'll know and she'll extract from Jake."
"What happened to girl-talk?"
"You want me to tell her? Never. Who would you tell?"
"No one Bella. I hear far too much from Emmett. This is just us. Always." He kissed me and I really thought that was a perfect time to take me to my bedroom again. Maybe he could model a few of the condoms. I'd check how they fit. But he just went back to get the wine again mumbling about Jake.
He regrouped and managed to make me dinner that night after he sat me down with a glass of wine, not letting me help in my own kitchen. His recipe - a spinach frittata courtesy of Google – really was delicious. He certainly does have it all. And then, we put on a movie after I took the dogs out again. We sat on the couch cuddling and kissing for two hours while a couple met, fell in love, got married and lived happily ever after. I'm sure there was some drama in between but to me it was a perfect love story. So I would actually give the movie really good reviews. Edward was humming a tune and it was only then that I noticed he didn't have his keyboard. Orlando, he said. I shook my head. Our time alone and he couldn't even play. So he played for me on the only musical instrument I own – an app on my tablet. If there had been a store open in all of Tampa I would have expected a delivery of a piano in minutes. As it was he looked at my tablet like it was from the last century. I just told him to play. I thought it sounded amazing. He wasn't as convinced but he did play a few other pieces that worked on the limited sixteen key screen as I made tea and found some Oreos. My dessert skills without seven calls to Paul were showing. Edward smiled and immediately opened up an Oreo as I did the same to lick the icing. We finished the tea and even stole Oreo kisses before we were both yawning.
Edward pulled me up and led me to the bedroom. This was a first. Then, because he was leaving the next morning, he kissed me on my forehead and promised to rock me to sleep. I convinced him with a few well-placed kisses and caresses this would frequently be the case for us. I undressed him and his body was mine. Our night was much like the last getting to know each other's bodies again and again, different rhythms. The condoms fit perfectly. The next morning I held on to him knowing he had to go. Edward was heading back with Laurent and Irina for SNL whereas I had to finishing packing and drive. Tanya and Irina waited at the elevator while Edward and I said our goodbyes. We'd been doing this all year but somehow it was different. He knew and felt it too. Edward just kissed me and held me whispering in my ear how much he'd miss me too. And there was no hesitation in my kisses or my "I love you" before we had to separate. He had to rehearse for the new tour and I had to take the dogs to Jake. Edward was planning to sneak out while Tanya and I were out with the dogs and I was meeting him back in New York – with the Ferrari - for final rehearsals in a week.
But when I got back with the dogs Edward pulled up in a limo. Like he'd just dropped by. The fans were excited. I can say I was too. He told the fans he thought he'd take me to lunch before heading into New York. I could see the looks on their faces, the way they assumed he'd flown in from Orlando just for a couple hours to surprise me. Like a fairy tale – like our movie. He got out of the car and pulled me to him like he really hadn't seen me for five weeks and kissed me. I still wasn't over the surprise of seeing him so soon and I certainly kissed him back. So much for privacy. After the requisite autographs and photos, Tanya took the dogs in while I got in the limo. Lunch it was, but I had to take another run with Edward before we set up a picnic on the beach. Edward had raided my cupboards and made us PB + J with some healthy veggies and fruit with a new set of fans looking on as we ate. After a stop at DQ for a hot fudge sundae we were on our way to the airport. Kisses and cuddles on the way, Edward told me he'd simply decided to change his flight. I knew it wasn't necessarily that easy but he reassured me he'd still get there on time. I asked, and he told me not to worry about Alice. Precious kisses later and we pulled up to arrivals. I did up the privacy window figuring it was needed on both sides. This time he really did have to go. We'd be together again. Soon. A few kisses and a little blushing from both of us as we decided we'd keep my arrival in New York from the band if we could until the day we leave on tour. A little more private time in a not-so-private life was warranted. Irina drove me back before heading for the next flight out and I cuddled into bed for a while taking in Edward's sweet scent and remembering our touches. I realized as I daydreamed, it was exactly a year ago that I'd met Edward Cullen. Since then my life had certainly undergone one heck of a transformation.
After a little laundry and a lot more packing – some things would stay in Tampa, other belongings I'd leave at the vineyard, still more things would stay in New York and the few items that were left would be in my suitcase, my home away from home for the next month. Edward had put all four remaining boxes of condoms in my suitcase. And he added to Jake's note – With me. Always. – Edward. I tucked the condoms in the suitcase. I wasn't planning on even opening this one at the ranch but you never know and Leah or Jake would have a good laugh. Worse would be airport security. I was ready to get on the road. My pet-sitter had been excited to hear from me and was ecstatic to stay at my place and care for my little brood again for the summer. I was glad I didn't have to put my trust in someone new. I know I don't do that well. I had to encourage her to accept a raise – she only wanted Eddie's autograph. I told her I could arrange both. I needed to figure out where I'd be living then I could make permanent arrangements for a move. Once the car was packed, the dogs run, the last photos and autographs complete, Tanya and I started the drive to the ranch with Hope and Love. It made me smile when Edward texted me pictures of Elizabeth and the family. He also sent me a stage performance of Luck prefacing it with 'don't worry it's not on the set list'. It was really good. Maybe I'll relent. Yeah. 'Should be.' I texted back. That got me an immediate call.
"Bella?" He asked.
"Who else would it be?"
"Really?"
"It's your song…" I started.
"It's our song, Bella."
"Sing it Edward. Please."
"Thanks, Bella. I think we have a few more that are just ours. And way more waiting to be written." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Especially when you get back." Now he's asking. As only Edward can.
"Good." I told him. Tanya was driving. She's not deaf. "Love you. See you soon."
"Naked." He said with a kiss and my mind flitted to our shower yesterday. Somehow, getting him to open up had really started something. On his end he could just tell everyone he was discussing the set list. I hung up before I said something inappropriate in front of Tanya. Instead I texted, 'Yes, that would be very nice.' I'm not totally sure I trust technology. I don't want any racy text to go viral. This was innocent. Not really, but no one would know.
'It would.' Edward answered with a little emoji kiss. I'll be home soon, I was the one who volunteered to drive the Ferrari back so I really need to chill. Edward had thought he'd hire someone from Ferrari to take it home. I decided that was ridiculous since I had to head to the ranch anyway. Besides, now after Jake's comments, I am just a little curious about how the car drives.
After I hung up with Edward I got called by the Alice, Rose and Kate in succession and could hear rehearsal carrying on in the background. They were trying to wear me down. It was a calculated move on all their parts. I made small talk but they weren't getting anything they might have wanted to hear and I had to guess Edward had given them and the boys exactly the same run around. Alice decided to tell me not to bug him during rehearsals. She knew he had called me and was just trying to goad me so I'd spill. It wasn't going to happen. Alice always gets what she wants so she was the most frustrated out the lot of them. She did know about the kiss and the picnic – public appearances do tend to go viral. I only wish I remembered what movie we rented. I could have at least told her the title. I did tell her about the pancakes and the frittata. I think she was shocked he could cook. But Alice wasn't going to learn what else he could do. They all heard that I'd missed them and would see them soon. I will be just as vague in person but I'm sure my blush will give me away.
Tanya and I managed to drive straight through the night to get to Texas and right before I was going to get some shut eye Edward called with a good night kiss and a song, like always. I took over at daybreak and we pulled up to the ranch at two, the dogs barking again, waking Tanya. The second I got out Leah was squealing. She showed me her ring. I squealed with her. We dropped off the dogs and spent a couple days with Jake and Leah and congratulated them on their engagement. I sent Edward a few pics of the happy couple, the vineyard, the whole gang and our porch. Jake's proposal involved an intimate dinner for two in the new barn, and a little box hidden in the hay loft. And Leah, of course, said yes. That's all he'd tell me. He's learning. Leah told me they spent part of the night in the hay loft and watched the sunrise from the back of the new pick-up. She couldn't have looked happier. There were hugs all round.
Tanya and I were going to drive the Ferrari home after some driving lessons from Jake, Paul, Quil and Embry. I had to finally admit it's an absolutely amazing automobile and I blushed quite few shades when Jake eyed me making seemingly vehicle appropriate comments about the ride, the speed, the acceleration, the power and the mileage of said car. Though, knowing Jake, they weren't appropriate at all. I even told Jake that I followed his instructions step by step. This got me a smile and a hug. When I told Jake his own extra-small box must have fallen in by mistake while he was packing he glared. It seems he is also self-conscious about it. He did laugh though when I told him the other ones would even be too big for Lucky. Jake never stays mad at me for long.
Leah asked how he was. Stupidly I said he's fine. She had to clarify. A grammar lesson if you will.
"How WAS he Bella? Not how's he doing. Do I need to be more specific? Tell me if he's a good lay. A girl has got to know!" Seriously. I told her the bedroom is like Las Vegas, what happens there should stay there with the hope of stopping her. No chance. She and Jake were officially out of the bedroom and as such there was a whole lot more discussion on her end than I really wanted to partake in. Hay is very itchy. I really would have guessed that, I didn't need a first-hand account. And the back of a pick-up has a nice bounce. I nodded as if in agreement, though that's something I will never ever test. A drone and a tabloid in such a compromising situation would be the death of me, I'm sure. Though, knowing Leah, that shouldn't have been my biggest worry. Since I now was so happy and she was overly hyped, the filter she'd been using for my sanity the last ten months suddenly dislodged.
"Eddie Masen, Bella! OMG. You seriously screwed Eddie Masen!" I could only shake my head, not in denial but in disgust at her language even though I had used it myself not that long ago. Tanya had to walk away – I could tell she was laughing.
"Le-ah! SHHH!" Shit. She was loud enough to be heard in the next county. No word of a lie. Both Quil and Embry came running and I think my face was crimson. And with that she learned way more than I wanted to tell her without me saying a single word.
"Sorry, Bells." Leah apologized.
Both Quil and Embry mimicked zipping their lips and throwing away the key. I already knew they were good at keeping secrets. I wasn't worried about tabloids in this instance.
Leah then hugged me and even picked me up swearing she is very happy for me and that Eddie Masen is officially off her freebie list. I didn't want to ask her when she officially decided this but I got another huge hug when I told her he's the only one who will ever be on mine. I'll need to tell Edward that too, I think. I plan to get Leah's new list as well as Jake's and make darn sure no one on them is ever invited to the vineyard. Sam and Paul came over for a barbeque on our last night, Sam already commenting that he's missing Edward's help in the vineyard. Paul initially said he was just going to miss the Ferrari. Then he admitted Edward had grown on him – like a good wine - and gave me a hug. That's the ultimate compliment from a vintner.
The next morning Embry and Quil gave me hugs goodbye. Then they eyed each other and Quil was the first one to give Tanya a hug and kiss followed by Embry. She was certainly playing with the boys. It was a really a good thing she'd come back to the vineyard with me each night. Leah and Tanya had certainly hit it off and though Tanya reminded me she'd signed a very binding confidentiality agreement when it comes to me or the band, it has nothing to do with Tanya herself. It was a good thing when Jake and I excused ourselves to go riding while Leah and Tanya continued their detailed discussion of orgasms before dinner last night. While we rode Jake talked about a wedding, Leah and Jake were really thinking of soon. When I raised my eyebrows Jake understood immediately and was quick to say no. Not yet. But that he was ready. I nearly fell off my horse.
"A baby, Jake?" he nodded. Wow. I told him Edward and I had mentioned it in passing ourselves. At that he leaned over and picked up my left hand. I shrugged.
"We'll get there, Jake. It's been a pretty crazy year." He fully agreed. I'd kept Jake up to date throughout the year about the press, school and Edward. But with a relationship sometimes it's hard to say what you mean over the phone. Jake too. I knew he loved Leah, there was never a doubt, but happiness and just radiated from him with the idea of marriage and a family. Jake looked like he had a million questions, he settled on a few.
"Edward. So you're good with everything then? The fans? All the time apart?" We were barely even walking the horses for our conversation now. I nodded with conviction. This didn't involve Leah's, Alice's, Kate's or Rose's need for juicy details about our nights together. Jake just worried. Like Edward.
"I love him, Jake. He's worried about the next tour. I'm not. A month together will be good. We won't be hiding. We'll figure things out together. And we've done the long-distance thing all year, it will work next year too." Jake heard more in my voice than I could even express, he nodded leaning all the way over to give me a hug while barely staying on his horse. Good thing Faith and Lucky were being patient.
"Then, after the summer, you're off to New York." Jake, being silly, made his hand fly over me like an airplane. He told me after my thirtieth flight last fall he's never flown. We should fix that.
"I can only hope, Jake."
"No doubt, Bells, you're a shoe-in for Columbia. And Leah will make sure you're free for the wedding." He smiled. It sounded like he'd get married tomorrow if he could. I was glad I'd be here for at least another summer. It's home. Both Jake and Edward were confident about my chances at Columbia. I'd done everything I could. I didn't know what I'd do next year if it wasn't enough but decided not to worry until I had to. Focus on enjoying the vineyard, taking in the tour and learning even more from Dr. Snow. If I am being optimistic everything I learn this summer can only help me come fall. Our ride had taken us unintentionally towards the oasis. There will be no more skinny-dipping together for Jake and me but it is a place we'll always think of as ours. We'll always be the best of friends. We didn't even need words, just a nod and we raced back home. I won despite my lack of horsemanship this year and was able to taunt Jake a little. He took it in stride as we walked into the house. There was familiar music and Tanya and Leah were now watching a certain YouTube video and laughing uncontrollably. When I told them to play it from the beginning Leah was in shock. This had way more to do with their prior topic than they would ever know. Edward still sparkled. Jake even knew the lyrics.
It had been a really good visit and right before we were leaving Jake and Leah nearly squeezed me to death again with goodbyes. They all volunteered to make the drive; the boys for the car and Leah for the car and to get into rehearsals for the new tour. She decided no one would stop her if she drove up in Eddie's Ferrari. She was probably right. Jake took a picture of me at the wheel of the Ferrari as we were heading out and sent it to Edward. I hope he didn't add any text – but, then again, explaining it to Edward when I get to New York could make for good laugh and a very pleasant night. I might send him a couple selfies on the way. It had only been four days but I was already missing Edward even though we talked every night – only one time zone apart, it's certainly progress. Tanya got hit on at gas stations all the way home and it was almost as though I was her bodyguard. Better Tanya than me, though they all seemed to know who I was and I think a lot of the guys really just wanted to make out with the car. Tanya seemed to enjoy the attention and I'm sure it would wind up being another conversation with Leah that I wouldn't partake in. Along the way there were photos and autographs for fans but I really was just eager to get back on the road and get back a little early. See Edward and not just his Ferrari. My dreams the whole way home started with me sitting with Edward at the piano looking out at the city as he played for me. That's the part I'll tell Leah. I'll tell Edward the whole dream and then we can work on bringing it to fruition. Maybe he'll even open up and tell me his dreams. Or just play me another new tune. I was a little quiet, just looking out the window watching the world speed by as Tanya drove through Harrisburg. It would only be a few hours until I see Edward again. Together we'll find out what amazing changes this next year will bring.
And so they lived happily ever after. The End. No wait…that's no fun… we have unanswered questions. Vet school? Proposal? Marriage? Babies? Let's tie it up in a cute not-so-little package.