Some people say that love's a losing game,
Start with fire but you lose the flame.
The ashes smolder but the warmth's soon gone,
You end up cold and lonely on your own.
-Excerpt from You'll Accomp'ny by Bob Seger
Sadness, regret, devastation: these were the feelings Marge had as she lay in the darkness of her room for almost a week. The only times she would leave her bed were when she needed to tend to Lisa, use the restroom, and eat a small meal. Once she hid in the darkness of the bathroom as Artie cleaned out what was his. He took his clothes, a few of his items, and asked Marge politely if he could take the love seat which was really given by his father a few years ago any way. Marge simply said yes. When he left, Marge made her way to the kitchen for a drink of water and found the divorce papers on the table. He signed everything that needed to be signed; all Marge needed was her signature.
But she did not go out right away and deliver it; she just stayed in her room and contemplated about all the years she spent with Artie. How could she have been so blind? How did she miss the fact that he was cheating on her? That he lied to her? Why did she not see the signs? She felt stupid and ashamed, and just wanted to lay in bed forever, to never show her face to the world ever again. She felt so betrayed; Artie loved her so much at first, what made him change so quickly? What did the girl have that she didn't have?
It hurt Marge terribly, she felt so unwanted at the moment that she didn't know what to do, running away sounded nice. To run away with Lisa to a faraway land and just be happy there. But it wasn't that easy, where was this faraway land and could it ever be accessible? Why did things have to be so complicated? She just wanted a happy marriage, with a loving husband and children. At least she was able to get a child out of that, but her father was no longer around. She was still debating child support. She could take care of herself and Lisa, she had a good job. But maybe it was better to have him help pay just so she could stay in contact and make sure he knew how Lisa was doing. But did that really matter? He didn't even care about her, why would he want to know how she was doing? Because that was what fathers were supposed to do.
But she decided to keep thinking about it, and try to move on, after almost a week, on a rainy afternoon in mid-September, she found herself sitting in with the other art teachers about classes and how they would change the following semester. Lisa was in a carrier beside her, she had only planned to be there a short time, so she was not looking for a baby sitter. But by the end of it all, she found herself in her office, figuring out how to work her syllabus with what the teachers had told her.
She sat alone in her office, thinking about how the schedule would pan out and if the things she did last semester could work with what the teachers had planned. Some ideas were great; others could easily be taken out of the curriculum and replaced with something new. It made her wish life could be that easy, to just simply erase what she had ruined and make it into something grander. If only, she let out a sigh as she stared at a week in February where she would be teaching the history of the Baroque era, those amazing buildings and masterpieces that many people said was the best era of them all. With the Council of Trent in full swing and the amazing detail on many masterpieces, Marge should have been ecstatic about what she was going to teach, but at the moment, it just felt like an ordinary class. She hung her head down and stared at the sheet of paper, wondering what to do with it to make it work, when she heard a noise.
It was a noise she had not heard since the four months she had been gone. It was the sound of a vacuum cleaning the room next to her. Homer! The sweet man who helped her get to the hospital, had talked to her only a day before and gave her the idea that her husband might be cheating on her. She needed to tell him that he was right and that they needed to go out for coffee again, if he was so inclined.
She quickly got up and made her way to the next room and peeked in only to find his coworker Henry cleaning the room. It didn't take long for Henry to notice her as he stopped vacuuming and looked up at Marge with a happy smile.
"Mrs. Ziff, I see you came back for the upcoming semester," Henry said.
"Umm, it's Miss Bouvier now thank you, but that's not important, have you seen Homer?" Marge asked.
"Oh, he took the day off today, we sort of went overboard yesterday moving things and pulled his back out a little. So he's at home now resting it off for a few days," Henry said.
"Hmmm…I will have to go by and visit him, maybe bring him a little something," Marge said.
"I bet he would love that, he's always fond of foot long hero's for some reason. At least it seems that way, usually he talks about how that would make a great dinner on the way home," Henry said.
"Then I'll look into that," Marge said as she made her way back to her office and decided to end it for the day. Lisa was getting a little fussy any way and she really did need someone to talk to.
Marge stopped at the local market to get Homer a sandwich just for him, turkey with all the fixings on it. Once she purchased her order she made her way to Homer's house, well actually his dads. He mentioned once that he still lived with him and how she could even remember where he lived was a feat in and of itself. She stopped in front of the house and looked toward the front; there were two cars in the driveway so both were actually home. Hopefully she would not disturb Abe too much. Finally she got out of the car and put Lisa in her carrier before making her way up the driveway and toward the door and rang the doorbell.
She was not surprised to see Homer's father answer the door. He didn't seem to care who it was either because he was definitely not dressed in his best clothes. He wore a simple wife beater shirt and boxers while in his hand was a big duff beer can. As soon as he saw Marge, his eyes opened wide and yelled for Homer.
"Homer, you haven't knocked anyone up recently have you?" Abe yelled.
She heard Homer reply, but did not make out what was said so she quickly interjected. "No, I know my daughter's not his, I just came to visit him."
"Oh…well in that case…Homer I hope you don't mind a visitor!" Abe yelled again.
Homer replied again, but Marge could not make it out and simply waited for Abe to deliver the ultimatum. "He said come on in."
Marge thanked Abe who let her inside and led her to the living room where Homer was laying on a nearby couch, his back propped up by pillows while he watched Taxi. Marge really didn't need much help finding where he was, the familiar scent of Bengay filled the room. When Homer saw Marge though, his eyes seemed light up while he tried to sit up more, only to fall back to a more comfortable spot.
"You don't have to get up Homer, Henry told me all about it," Marge said as she handed Homer the turkey sandwich. Homer grabbed it and began to open it with a smile on his face.
"It was his fault too, too damn slow moving those desks. And how did you know I liked turkey?" Homer said as he tried to adjust the pillows so he could sit up better and eat the sandwich
"It was just a wild guess, and at least it doesn't hurt too bad," Marge said.
"Yeah that's true, just a dull ache really. But what brings you here anyway, besides delivering me this yummy sandwich?" Homer asked as he took a bite.
Marge hesitated for a minute and tried to keep her emotions in. This was a lot harder than she realized and before she could even reply, she began to cry again. "You were right Homer," she said as tears fell down her face.
Ignoring his hurt back and setting his sandwich aside, Homer jumped up and motioned Marge to come sit next to him on the couch. Marge did so while Homer yelled at Abe to get him some water for Marge. "What do you mean I was right?"
"About Artie, he was cheating on me," Marge said as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
Homer stared back at Marge, he could not believe that Artie could really sink so low and at the moment, he was ready to find him and beat him up. Marge should never be subjected so something so terrible, she was too beautiful and kind for that.
"Where is he?" Homer asked as he struggled to make himself get up thanks to his injured back.
"He's in Capitol City now, he took a job offer there a week ago," Marge said with a sigh.
"Hmmm…he's lucky he's there because if he weren't…" Homer showed his fist as he sat back down as gently as he could.
"I can't believe I didn't figure it out until you said something, I feel so stupid right now. How could I have missed it?" Marge asked as she looked down at the floor.
"How long had he been doing it anyway? Did you ask him?" Homer asked.
"No, I got a voice mail from him the night I took you to coffee. He said he wasn't coming home that night and as I listened, I could hear a baby crying and people yelling in the background, and that's when I sensed something. So when he came home I asked who she was and how long it had been going on," Marge said.
"What do you mean you heard a baby?" Homer asked.
Marge hesitated for a moment, it was so much harder to talk about, she didn't say anything to the other teachers because she really wasn't very close to them, so they had no idea. They just thought Marge was bringing the baby because of a short meeting. And before she knew it, she was sobbing heavily and telling Homer everything. "He had an affair and got her pregnant. To make matters worse, he had been seeing this girl since before we even married. Why did he even want to marry me if he did such a thing? Why Homer?" Marge asked as Homer patted her on the back and let her cry her heart out.
"I don't even know, even my own gender is hard to explain, and seriously, if he was still in town I would be murdering him right now, even if my back is killing me," Homer replied with an angry voice. "And he has two kids now, boy I hope you are making him pay for child support."
"I'm thinking about it," Marge said while she blew her nose.
"I would make him pay because he gave you this child, he should at least have some common decency to help you take care of it," Homer said. "After all, you're on your own now."
"That's very true Homer, not only do I have to support myself, but Lisa too. I mean I do make enough money, but every little bit helps," Marge said as she looked down at a sleeping Lisa. Homer stared down at her with Marge. For a moment, he wished Lisa was his, then he could be the perfect father for her and never leave her for some sleaze.
"Every little bit does, but does he care enough to know that? Did he even show any interest in helping you?" Homer asked.
Marge sat there and thought for a minute. She really didn't remember if Artie mentioned that he wanted to help with Lisa, only that he got the papers for their divorce. Sure he took care of her the night she kicked him out, but that was the most he had ever done really. It was like he was just going to disappear off the face of the earth, never to be heard from again, just like the men she dated over the years. She should have seen the signs, they were right there in front of her; she had seen them before back in high school. Was she so lost in love that she didn't notice?
"I don't know, and that worries me now. He's just like every boy I've ever met; they love you and then go after someone else. I should have learned my lesson by now," Marge said as she tried to wipe the tears away while a thought suddenly occurred to her. If she should have learned her lesson by now, why was she even talking to Homer? He was probably just like all the other guys, love her and then leave her, It had happened to her every single time, ever since she was ten. "And why am I even talking to you, you're a man who will most likely do the same thing."
Marge then began to rummage through her purse, looking for her keys to her car. She just wanted to run away and hide again. Too many thoughts were brimming in her head, like taking care of Lisa for the next eighteen years, if Artie would even show himself to her again, and if she would ever trust another man in her life. She was right, ever since she first fell in love with a boy at the young age of ten, all the relationships ended in heartbreak one way or the other. Why continue trying? Why even go to someone who would most likely break her heart like all the others?
"Marge please…I would never…" Homer began.
"Where the hell are my keys, ugh…this purse is like a bottomless pit," Marge ignored what Homer was saying. Homer could only watch, wishing she could stop for just a moment and listen to him.
As Marge dug through her purse, she took out many items so that they would not be in the way as she continued to look. Most of them were simple things that a lady needed, lipstick, eye shadow, and of course tampons, but then something Homer didn't expect to see caught his eye. To many, it seemed like an ordinary rock, slightly elongated, gray in color with the edges worn out over time. But as he studied it, he realized that this rock was once a little bigger and that it symbolized something very important.
"Here they are!" Marge exclaimed as she started putting things back in. Marge noticed Homer holding the stone and held her hand out.
"Where did you get this?" Homer asked, not giving it back to her right away.
"Oh this stupid thing, I've had it since I was ten, I keep it near me just so I can remember all the hurtful things men can do. I really should have paid more attention to it over the years," Marge said as she tried to take the rock from Homer's hand.
"But where did you get it?" Homer asked as he kept his hand away from Marge.
"A boy gave it to me while I was at summer camp, we fell in love one night and agreed to meet again the next night, but he never did and it broke my heart because I thought he really did love me. I mean I got my first kiss from him and it was such a magical time. I had to leave early because he hurt me so badly," Marge said while she kept trying to get the rock out of his hand and getting angrier by the second. "Give me my rock!"
"Only if you stay here for one more minute," Homer replied as he jumped up, forgetting that he had hurt his back earlier. For a moment he stood by the couch and rubbed his back as he tried to stand up straight. Finally he made his way up to his room, walking like a hunched over old man, but a little faster. Marge watched him go, wondering what was so important that he had to leave the couch to get. A few minutes later, he returned with something Marge did not expect to see. The half of her heart, connected to the other half that she left behind years ago.
Marge stared at it in disbelief. "But the boy's name was Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar…hmmm…now that I think about it, that name does sound pretty farfetched."
"I…uh…wanted to make my name sound cool to impress you," Homer replied sheepishly.
Marge looked back at Homer, unsure if she should really believe him or not. Was he really the boy who kissed her by the lakeside that one magical night? Was he really the one she thought she truly loved, only to be abandoned and forgotten by the boy so quickly? It didn't sound very believable; to meet up with that boy again was a one in a million chance.
"Why didn't you come back to me that night? I waited for you for hours," Marge asked.
"I tried to, I really did, but I got hurt and somehow ended up in another camp. When I finally got to your camp, you had already left," Homer replied sadly.
Marge stared back at Homer, if she didn't feel so miserable at the moment, she would probably believe him. But for some reason, she felt his excuse didn't cut it and she was ready to just go home and wish that old wound had never been reopened.
"Do you know how much you upset me that day?" Marge asked.
"I think I can guess, but Marge, every time I think about that incident I remember the young girl whose feelings I hurt for not going back to her. I always wanted to tell her I was sorry, and since this is finally my chance, I want to say I'm sorry. And I really mean it," Homer said as he tried to grab Marge's hand but she took it away and looked down at the floor.
"I wish I could believe you…but I just don't know right now. Not after what Artie just did to me," Marge said as she got up and picked up Lisa's carrier.
Homer sat there, watching her go for a moment, wondering how he could persuade her to change her mind. But she was so upset right now that Homer knew he needed to convince her in the best way he could. He really did care about her, if he didn't then why did he think about her all the time while he was in love with someone else? He needed her to know that he was there for her, that he could help her through anything. He did not want to be like Artie and leave her for another woman, that was just cruel. Finally, he got up, a little slower than normal and made a beeline for the door. When he opened it, he found that the rain was now starting to fall and Marge was already finishing up with strapping Lisa in the car.
"Marge wait!" Homer cried as he tried his best to move swiftly toward her.
"Homer, please, I don't really know why I came to you tonight. I probably should just get help from my family and that's what I'm going to do. So please just move on, I'll be fine," Marge said as she got into the main driver's seat.
Homer did not stop there; he stood in front of the car and waited for Marge to roll down the window so he could talk to her. When she did, it was a look of both bitterness and a longing to find her mother and father.
"Listen Marge, please. I'm not like those other men you were with. If I could have helped it, I would have made sure to have seen you the night after and we would have gotten to know each other so much more. I have regretted that day, and I always wanted to apologize to that little girl I upset. I never knew it was you, but I am glad to see it was. I promise Marge, I promise that I will help you in whatever way you need; I won't give up on you and leave you for someone else. I just can't do that, you don't deserve to be abandoned like that," Homer said as tears fell down his face.
Marge was crying as well and she really did want to believe him, but Artie and other loves had messed her thoughts up so bad that she knew she had to be careful. She felt she needed to talk to her parents first, to tell them more about the situation. They knew Artie left, Marge was just too distraught to really talk about it. They just told her to come to them if she needed them, and right now she needed them more than ever.
"I'll think about it," she finally said and revved up the engine. Homer thought about staying put, but decided against it and backed away as the car drove away down the rainy street, before disappearing into the rainy twilight. Homer stood there on the sidewalk for a good minute or so before he realized how heavily the rain was falling. He needed to go back inside.
When he entered the door, Abe was standing there waiting for him as if he was expecting some sort of package from the postman to show up.
"Well?" Abe asked.
"She's too distraught right now," Homer said.
"She's been broken, that's what's happened. You shouldn't have let her go. She needs someone like you to help her, to show her that not all us men are pigs," Abe said.
"But how, I just tried everything," Homer said as he wiped a tear from his eye.
"Go find her; she needs you, that's why she came to you first. She might think that she's given up on men, but really, she needs you. And if you need her then you will know how to find her," Abe said.
Homer looked out the window, it was starting to rain heavily, but he knew rain was not supposed to stop him; he needed to find her and talk to her until she understood. It was time for him to be the man she had always wanted.
Marge's mind was weighing heavily on her as she made her way down the road to her parents. At the moment, she wished that she had never dug for her keys and brought out the half heart that changed her life those years ago. She could not believe that Homer had been the one she had kissed when she was only ten and that he had been in and out of her life ever since. If he had come back to her the next evening, she would have been excited. But since he bailed out on her she felt betrayed. She stopped at a red light and stared at it, trying to make sense of everything that had recently happened. But then, as she calmed down a little, she began to wonder, was Homer telling the truth about that night? Did he really end up somewhere else before he came back to her? It actually sort of sounded plausible, he was always an honest guy, at least around her, Artie had never truly been honest with her and that was her reason for acting so rational at that moment.
As she drove further down the road, she began to feel the need to turn back, to go back to Homer and talk to him, to listen to him. She had to, she had gone far enough earlier to do so and he was willing to talk even though he had a hurt back. Yes she had to turn around.
Of course her mind was not fully aware of how dangerous the one lane road was now thanks to all the rain. She did not calculate the correct length of the car that was heading down the road she was turning on. She needed to wait, but she didn't and turned right in front of the car. That was when she realized her mistake as the car tried to step on their brakes, while she braced herself for impact.
A/N: Okay, so the ending to this chapter is totally different than what I had in mind. I actually came up with this idea a couple of days ago; I thought it sounded very interesting. And because of that, my story has been accidentally extended. I'm not sure if it's one or two extra chapters but yeah, you'll be seeing a couple of extra chapters before I am truly done. So I hope you all like what I did and I hope Marge was believable. If you hate it, just let me know, I can redo it, I really don't mind.
I will be taking time with the next chapter, only because the Fourth of July week is coming up, and I know my American friends will be busy with festivities. I won't be, my state has enough fires burning at the moment to want to blow anything up, wish I could but I don't want to see more smoke billowing as I drive down the interstate. Oh and I am still looking to add more friends to my facebook page, so far I've only gotten six and really I feel that I've been just talking to myself, so come on guys, be my friend please. The name is Narfy Toon.
But any way please review when you can. Hope you all have a nice week.