So a few more weeks had passed by now, and we were half way through the year and two more month away from Halloween. Also known as Prankoween something I was both interested and highly frightened of. Our NEWTS were rapidly approaching and most of the studying I was supposed to be doing was me more distracting Remus every chance I had.

And then there was Lily. Lily who was a complete mess, maybe more than Remus was with the whole studying thing. But then there was my slight suspicion that my dear Lily Evans could possibly be starting to like James. That or I miss reading every little fake excuse she was making up lately. Lily who was dozing softly next to me occasionally muttering something I couldn't understand.

But it was once again the middle of the night and I was failing at falling asleep. So like the genius I was, I did what I always do in these scenarios; I get the hell out of bed and was careful not to wake anyone else...which didn't seem to be a problem considering no one else was actually in the room except me or the unconscious mumbling Lily Evans. Was there some party that I didn't know about going on? Was everybody suddenly in a cult? Did my thoughts just go way out of proportions really fast and I was actually a super paranoid person. The latter seemed the most likely.

And I guess it was coming up to test time so the more obvious answer would be that everyone is just busy studying in the common room and library and everywhere else. And it was Saturday night; most people actually did things on Saturday nights. Did I just insult myself? Probably.

But figuring I was safe to change into normal clothes without someone randomly walking in I grabbed my navy jeans from the floor a loose black top from the floor and my combat boots also from the floor. Lily was right; I needed to start cleaning up a little. Smiling down at my hand with the claddagh ring on it twisting in slightly around my ring finger. I wonder if he was asleep? Probably it was like what 4? Checking my wrist for the first time actually having a watch it was exactly 4:23 on what was technically a Sunday morning.

So I left my dorm, not really sure where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do. But staying in this room any longer wasn't an option. Maybe going to the library would be a good idea, NEWTS were coming up right around the corner and there were only so many times I could playfully distract Remus. He basically knew everything already, maybe it was time I got my head out of my ass and put it in front of a book instead.

So as I made my way down the corridors of the castle I was surprised to find them empty on what was now technically Sunday. Part of me was thinking I would be drunk peers would be stumbling back to the castle, but this wasn't an American boarding school was it? No less teenage rebellion and more magic.

But I finally made it to the library, the long way around as well. The castle was quiet, and that was something unfamiliar and I didn't like the sound -or lack thereof- of it. There were a few students completely collapsed onto their desks and in their books making me laugh about my previous imprinted on my brain joke. Yeah I was pretty funny...at least I thought I was anyway. But that was just at the start of the room, the place was pretty much empty. Almost empty, the door to the "restricted" section was ajar and a faint light was coming out from space created and there was giggling. The laugh sounded a little like mine, which was really strange considering I sound like a four year old and I find it embarrassing that I sound like a toddler when I laugh but the guys found it charming. Either way I laughed more when I laughed. So yes being the curious person I was and most likely if I was an animagi I would totally be so cute ginger kitty that would probably die of curiosity and boom there was my brain going off on a tangent.

But there I was about to investigate my fellow peer that laughs like someone thirteen years younger than themselves. Tiptoeing across the creaking wooden floor, which for once decided to stay off the creaking side. Thank you universe! Bypassing a few books left on the floor, it stank in here; like stale moth balls. It was unpleasant, and then there was that giggle again. I was getting closer to the sound at least. Though this was starting to get a little weird, I was kind of acting like a stalker. No. I wasn't like that. Kind of. I was just a curious cat, that sounded a lot better or at least way less creepy.

I was behind the bookshelf at this point, peeking my head around the corner – yep I was officially a creeper. But then I froze, the recognition of the face that was smiling down at some other girl that was straddling his waist. Was this actually happening? My breathing had slowed down and I kept blinking hoping I was in some kind of nightmare. I guess my reaction was well fit considering I was watching the guy I loved with some other girl.

If I was going to be honest the main thing I was thinking right now was even though holy mother fucking (a word I did not use lightly) hippogriffs on fire my boyfriend was shagging someone else and the tosser was cheating on me. Yes that was high on my mind since I was frozen staring possibly crying at the scene.

But the thought running through my head right now seriously the library? Couldn't it have been somewhere classier or at least discrete? I'm mean if you're going to cheat on someone at least have the decency to hide it. And go somewhere nice. And yeah I see the appeal and oh god was this happening? Was I really going through all the right ways to cheat on somebody? Okay I was in full panic attack mode. This was happening. I wasn't dreaming. Holy hippogriff.

I loved the smell of books, something James thought really weird but considering the obvious reason of Remus and his penchant for always having a book by his hand and constantly smelling in a mix between chocolate and old books. And no it was finally settling it.

I let out this noise, kind of like a strangled whimper that just sounded full of pain and hut. And every emotion that was hitting my right now, because the shock was over and now it was hitting me. Remus was, I needed to get out of here. I watched as his head perked up looking at me wide eyed with a mix of confusion and guilt. Well at least he felt guilty hey that was something right. Asshole. I could kill him. I could kill myself. I just wanted to run.

Running. Excellent idea. I turned quickly on my heels and started to bolt for the door and back to the common room. I was pissed off, quick changing emotions. Only problem here was when I got really anger fire kind of happened. Setting Remus John Lupin on fire didn't seem like such a bad idea actually. Okay considering arson. Worth it. Jackass. I was crying.

I needed to keep my cool –no pun intended- I took in a deep breath wiping my cheeks where the tears were streaming hard down my face and I didn't even care when I ran straight into some poor second or third year with a large stack of books not even bothign to mutter an apology.

"Draco dormiens," I said to the fat lady when I finally reached the portal hole. The fat lady seemed unimpressed to have been woken up at this hour and looked like she was about to lecture me though I think the look on my face gave her a change of heart.

By some stroke of luck James and Sirius were huddled by the fire, looking engulfed in a book. Ordinarily I would crack a joke about how that was the first yet somehow as soon as I walked into the room, despite being oddly silent and not tripping over a single thing –aside from the young boy. But James seemed to look up immediately as I walked into the room, most people thought we had a weird physic connection. And we went with it and called ourselves loony and that never really helped our case. But at least we could plead insanity right?

James ran over to me and wrapped me up in his arms, I let go as soon as I was with him. Crashing to the floor and breaking down on his chest. I was a little surprised when I broke away from James' tight grip and saw Sirius who had finally seemed to take notice of James' absence and jumping over to me. What the hell were they reading? Was it porn?

"Okay getting that smothering lack of oxygen feeling before I faint," I said trying to make sense though I wasn't sure I did.

"Right," they both said taking a step back, though as soon as they did I made a break for it. Running straight upstairs and back to bed not bothering to change out of my jeans. I knew if I had stayed downstairs I would have had to talk about it. Honestly part of me was still dealing with it all, having to say it aloud would make it, well real.

Luckily Lily was a heavy sleeper so there would be no awkward and deep meaningful conversations that I didn't feel like dealing with right now. I rested my head down onto my pillow and for the first time in a long while I cried myself back to sleep. Something I hadn't done since I lost my brother.

James

Sirius and I were downstairs after sneaking back into the castle after gathering supplies for the month to come and were once more going through the only book we really ever read Quidditch throughout the ages. And that's when I felt it, that little sensation I had when someone else was in the room. And not just anyone, Red. This was one of the many reason people liked to think we shared a bond or something equally as lame as she would put it. Lots of people liked to think we were in love, but we were just best mates both completely enamoured with other people. We could just read each other. But if anyone asks we just said we were loony.

Removing my gaze from the page I looked up seeing Red. Silent tears were streaming down her face, she looked broken; tired and yet still somehow a little sexy. How on earth did she manage to look like a wreck while feeling like well whatever she was feeling. Was it witchcraft? No she was just naturally beautiful and unlike most girls didn't get a big head over it.

Straight away- well basically I did get lost in thought. I dashed over to her, maybe she didn't want the company right now or maybe she really needed it. Either I was hugging her, it took Sirius at least a full minute to realise he was alone and to get his ass over to her.

"Okay getting that smothering lack of oxygen feeling before I faint," she said using her red logic. Sirius and I took a step back from her, which may have been a bad move because as soon as I let her go she bolted up the stairs.

Sirius looked as if he was about to go after her, but I grabbed his arm in time before he had time to bolt. "Don't just whatever is going on she clearly doesn't want to deal with us right now. Or whatever it was."

"Any idea what that was?" he asked me bewildered. I had now bloody clue, why on earth would I know? I had a few more seconds than he did with her and that was all her crying into my chest. She was broken.

This was all in time with Moony stepped through the portrait hole, his hair a mess and holding his black jacket in his hand while his shirt was crumpled and not buttoned properly. He looked the exact opposite to regular immaculate moony he looked, ohhh it hit me.

"What the hell did you do to Red?" I shouted at him.

"I didn't do anything," he called back matching my volume. "Well not intentionally anyway.:

"Dude what happened?" Sirius said tone both eager and clearly frustrated with him as well.

"I thought it was her," he said softly.

I back away, he basically just said it all. Wel kind of, some of it really needed clearly up but I had the rough picture and suddenly I wasn't finding myself overly found of Remus.

TADA me being the worst ever and coming back from a long break, but I promise to update more regularly now I'm out and let's just see how this all goes shall we?