I Smell An OTP
By: I'm Not Wearing Any Pants
Just ship them already. You know you want to. It's not like everyone doesn't see your past and present hypocrisy, so who are you trying to fool?
I SMELL AN OTP
Spider-Woman, I mean, Batgirl, our newly designated lamp, interchangeable object who didn't matter to the story at all, appeared while the main lust object, The Weeper, AKA Craig the world's worst mafia boss Dragotti, also sometimes called The Sewer King, but never The Joker, thank God, the fandom would have eaten everyone involved alive, was wandering the empty streets of Gotham for the fourth or fifth time, damn. Try not to notice this amazing setup for an amazing fanfiction, folks. It's only happened ten billion times over the past thousand years.
"I'm really quite sexy if you squint," said the Weeper, thrusting out his womanly old man hips. "Yes, someone is flicking their highly incelibate bean to my toothless mouth just due to my hair and the fact that I cry without having to force that into the story somehow and call it canon. I just do it naturally. So it is technically canon. That's what my character was based upon. And yet the way it's executed still makes it OOC, as usual. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN DO THAT? HOW DO YOU FAIL SO CONSISTENTLY? WITH A CHARACTER WHO ACTUALLY CRIES IN CANON? HOW? This fetish cannot be executed without the utmost failure."
"El oh hell, Batprobe," Batgirl gigled stupidly. "In the butt! By the way, Mister, I'm gonna kick you, mean bad guy who is cute enough to still be Daddy material because I have no standards!" The standards are long hair. And specifically light blue boxer shorts.
She danced over to Weeper. She snapped her fingers rhythmically.
Weeper began to cry on command. "Did you ever see a woman so beautiful, you cried?" he asked her.
Batboobs gasped and immediately fell in love.
"Wowie, there isn't even a story here," said Batgirl. "Let's make out with each other while I touch your old man underwear!"
"Sounds hot," said Weeper through his sexually provocative tears. "I'm a sissy boy. I'll sub for you all night long!"
"Oh, fucking yeah, baby!" Batgirl ripped off her suit. Underneath was a dominatrix outfit, but white instead of standard black, and with purple trim. No correlation to SC3's Ivy Valentine, swear. "Lies!" Batgirl giggled. She pulled out a whip and began to whip the Weeper's clothes off until nothing remained but his BRIGHT BLUE BOXER SHORTS. "Bend over for Momma, dirty boy!"
"Mommy!" Weeper weeped. He had finally found a new mommy. Batgirl started kicking him in the ass and whipping him. He enjoyed every minute of it. "Yes, spank me, Mommy! I've been a bad widdle boy! I didn't eat my veggies! All I eat is candy and chocolate! That's why most of my teeth fell out! I'll never eat veggies!"
"I'll make you eat my veggies! They're mushrooms that've been growing in my feminine area for weeks. I don't shower regularly," she said.
The Weeper turned to the camera like he was in The Office and made an O face. Not the one you're thinking of.
Batgirl grinned. "I've also got some nice squash soup." She turned and pointed to her ass.
This story has been declared unfit for continuing and so shall be ended right here before someone gets arrested for indecency.
THE END