Re-Runs

"I can't believe we're back here." Alex said, pacing back and forth in the little room.

"Alex, calm down." Elliot said, slouching back in the seat.

"Are you fucking serious, Elliot?" She stared at him before continuing her frantic walk.

"Alex, please."

"Don't patronize me." She said angrily, both fury and fear in equal quantities in her blood. She couldn't believe what had happened. The last twenty four hours of her life had spiraled completely out of control. It was like being caught in a bad replay—the story had come full circle—they were back at the beginning, only so much more had happened.

"Alex, can we talk?" Elliot asked, breaking her thoughts.

"You want to talk now? After everything? Really?" She tried to stifle the anger in her voice. If she could, she would scream at him. She wanted to slap him and hug him. He had saved her again—but this time; he had also violated her trust. He had been there, without thinking he had grabbed Olivia and her, ran them both down the stairs and in minutes they were in the ER. Again.

"We have to do it sometime." He said, with a shrug.

"Elliot. Not now." She said, taking a deep breath and pushing the thought of him out of her mind.

"Alex. Please? She's okay." He said. "The doctor told you they just have to run the tests."

"They don't know what happened, Elliot. I should be in there with her, not here with you."

"Alex, I'm sorry." She stopped pacing for one moment. Her eyes stayed frozen forward as he spoke, her body tightening against his words.

"Fine." She said, not looking at him, and continuing her walk.

"Alex, please. Sit down." He said, pointing to the chair next to him.

"What do you want me to say Elliot? That it's all okay? That we can just forget this?" She asked. "You kissed me and then ran into my bedroom uninvited accusing me of wanting you. You want me to just let it go?"

"No."

"Who knows what the hell happened to Olivia, and if that has anything to do with this, anything at all, I'll kill you."

"Alex. I don't expect you to just forgive me." He said, shrugging.

"Well then?"

"I don't want this to ruin everything." Elliot said, putting his head into his hands.

"You should have thought about that before you tried to stick your tongue down my throat." She snarled.

"Alex, I thought, I really thought. I misread the situation." He stammered at her, none of his words sounding right in his own ears.

"Elliot, I'm in love with your partner. Your female partner. That didn't give you any kind off clue that we might not work out? That I might not enjoy you trying to make a pass?"

"I wasn't thinking Alex. I was focused on love knowing no boundaries."

"I have some. Some big ones. And you knew better. You knew about Liv and I. We trusted you. We've been together a year, El. You're the one she told she wanted to spend her life with me." She sighed. "You're her best friend, Elliot. How could you do that to her?"

"I don't know Alex. I don't know how I could do it to either of you. I don't suppose it seemed like a good idea at the time is going to work, huh?"

"Don't even." She pulled her knee up into her chest, holding it tight to her body.

"It was the moment. I thought, Alex, you deserve to be happy. It wasn't about Olivia, it was about you. It was about you not hating yourself anymore for everything that's going on that's not your fault. I wanted you to know that what Olivia was doing to you was wrong, the way she was treating you was wrong. I wanted to express that. I went to talk to her, and I could see what you were dealing with. She was angry. She couldn't see what she had, and it made me realize how lucky she was."

"The way to handle that wasn't to try to make your move, El."

"I know, I, it was a spur of the moment thing. You were there. I was there. It seemed right."

"It was uncomfortable Elliot. It was wrong. I was surprised. I mean, I didn't see it coming. And suddenly, you were there in my personal space. And I was confused to. I mean, not about my feelings for you, but what was happening with Liv. Not because I don't' love her, but because there's so much going on."

"I'm sorry Alex."

"It's not enough." Alex said, with a shrug.

"I know," Elliot said. "You talked to me. You trusted me, and I violated that. I felt so close to you. I thought you felt it to. I want to make this better."

"Elliot, I feel close to you too, you were there for me." She said exasperated. "But I don't feel that way about you."

"I know. I don't feel that way right now either. I did right then. But when I saw you, and Liv. When you were holding her, I realized…"

"You knew I loved Olivia. You had to know."

"I did know."

"You may know, but I don't think you understand."

"It was a mistake."

"How could you, Elliot?" She asked, looking at him dead in the eye.

"Alex. I, I don't have an answer. I don't have a good reason. I did something I shouldn't have done. I did a horrible thing in the spur of the moment that I will regret for the rest of my life. I would take it back if I could."

She looked deep into his eyes searching for an answer that would take away the pain. She couldn't find it, no matter how hard she looked. It was all too much. She shook her head and walked away.

To Be Continued…