"Can I ask you something with the promise that you'll just answer me and not start a whole big thing?" she asked as she finally broke the daunting silence that hung between us whenever we were together and pulled her eyes from their distant gaze out her window to bring them to me. I didn't know where this was going exactly and the possibility that I could potentially shooting myself in the foot by making this promise was staring me dead in the face, but I was so excited at the chance to have a conversation with her that my answer came without hesitation, "Promise."

I held her gaze as I spoke and for as long as possible without jeopardizing my driving abilities to convey reliability and truthfulness, knowing that she found it very hard to trust me these days. She watched me for a moment, her eyes shifting over mine to search for something that contradicted the word as she chewed softly on her bottom lip and the fact that it took her so long to nod softly in acceptance left a stinging pain in my chest that made it hard for me to keep my composure. When she was finally satisfied with her own read on me she fidgeted in a nervous manner next to me, a display I was not used to from her, and twisted her lips as she contemplated how to ask whatever it was she wanted to.

The time between my own response and hers felt like an eternity and when she finally spoke I found myself exhaling deeply, not even realizing that I'd held my breath waiting for it. Her voice was small and incredible weak, sounding something like a whisper as her expression showed much direst, "Why do you wear my ring around your neck?" I constricted my brow in confusion as we pulled up to the gates at the entrance of her parent's community and I fixed my eyes on the windshield as I contemplated how exactly to answer her question and not break my promise to not create a whole 'big thing' out of her curiosity. My thoughts were conflicting, because I knew this could be the opening I had decided would signify the fulfillment of another promise I'd made and as I entered the code on the pad to open the gate I released a heavy exhale of slight desperation. She was watching me, I could feel her eyes on me, but I knew better then to meet her gaze because it would surely break me, so I stared forward contently as I finally spoke in a gentle tone, "Because it's safe there."

My answer was only partly the truth, the greater part being because it was all the had left of her and I wanted it close to my heart but I couldn't tell her that because it would lead to a follow up question that would force me to explain everything and thus break my word. She wasn't ready in the moment for the truth, she wasn't willing to hear more then what she asked of me and although Bridget had insisted that Paige herself did not know entirely what was right for her in her grief I couldn't bare the thought of overloading her to the point of shut down either. Her face went tight, the expression I saw from my peripheral show clear signs of not really having complete control over her sadness, so she turned her eyes away from me and spoke in a broken tone, one that shook slightly because of her struggle to stay collected, her refusal to cry, "I guess I just assumed it's safety didn't matter."

I turned my eyes to my own window so I could wince against the heaviness of her words and the clear despair that they displayed as I spoke in a gentle muted tone being sure to keep my words steady, "It will always matter Paige." In the silence that followed I could her breathing in slightly hitched manner, there was a clear shake to it and I knew I should say something else to comfort her but I also knew that would open a conversation she did not wish to have with me. So, I sat in silence with her, keeping my eyes fixed anywhere but at her as her clear pain radiated from through me and fought to keep the truth from spewing from my lips, even though it threatened profusely to do so. I continued to refuse to look at her when we pulled into the garage even though there was no place else to look because I was the weakest when I was with her.

The engine's tick as it cooled was all that filled the silence between us as we sat in the dark garage staring at our own places in the nothingness before she finally spoke in an uncollected tone that concurred her stubbornness, "I'm just going to take a walk-I need some fresh air okay?" I finally drew my eyes to her as she undid her seatbelt but she wouldn't meet my eyes because there was a glimmer of tears in her own that I saw despite how quickly she turned away from me and climbed out of the car. I spoke quickly but kept my tone soft as I got out and let my eyes follow her, "Do you want company?" Although I'd known the answer I'd asked anyways in hopes that perhaps I was wrong and she might let me go with her and that during our walk I could finally keep my promise to her mother. But I knew her well and when her words came with a crackle as she shook her head without turning towards me I was not surprised, "I can't do that tonight Jake. I'm sorry."

I reached towards her, took a single step in pursuit and demanded I say something but my mouth just hung open as I watched her leave and let my hand fall between us. She wrapped her arms around herself tightly and I could hear her take a deep quivering inhale before she disappeared from my view as she started down the road towards the gates. I stood there for several moments not knowing what else I could do as mind went blank, my next course of action not presenting it's self. I couldn't stand the way it was between us, the way we'd gone from holding each other to barely speaking in under a day and the way it hurt her to be around me. Bridget had sworn she needed me, hell even Paige had thanked me for coming yet as I stood completely alone in the bay of her parent's garage I had a hard time believing that I was doing any good here.

It was some time later that I actually moved, my jaw going rigid finally in resentment while my limps felt heavy and listless as I hung my head and started towards the house, hitting the switch for the garage door on my way in. I felt like I was dragging myself through the house, each step seeming more drawn out and debilitating as I made my way to somewhere that I was not sure of, not knowing what I could do with myself here while I waited for her. My phone sang a ridiculously upbeat tone in my pocket and I instantly decided it must be changed as I dug for it without lifting my head. The display showed Emily's name and because I needed something to occupy my mind to keep from going insane I answered it. "Hello," I said in a meek tone as I ran my hand through my hair and came to the kitchen. "Hey Jake. How it going out there?" she said in a easy tone, the underlying notions of it concerned. I sighed as I made my way to the French doors, deciding that I too needed some fresh air and a walk on the beach seemed fitting.

"Jake? What's the matter?" she asked the easiness of her voice evaporating rapidly when I didn't respond as she assumed the worst. I'd once been able to talk to Emily about anything, but in light of all the negativity and hostility that surrounded the recent events I didn't know if her listening ear was an option anymore. Part of me had to believe that she would deny me if I tried though, it just wasn't in her nature but I tested the waters anyhow. "It's just me Em-I'm just really lost right now is all," I said brokenly as I crossed across the porch at a sluggish pace and began my decent down the stairs after closing the gate behind me. She was silent for a moment, saying nothing at all for several breaths before she spoke in a gentle tone, the old tenderness she had for me resurfacing slightly despite how much she wanted to hate me for what was going on, "Well maybe I can help you find you way-try me."

I spoke softly, my words having a weakness to them that was out of my control at this point as I finally made it to the sand and started down the shore, "When I first got here she was really a mess and she let herself need me and felt really nice but something happened last night and now she has this wall up-and I want to push through it but every time I think I might be able to, she just seems like she won't be able to recuperate from it." Emily was silent for a beat before she sighed softly, her tone remorseful, "You broke her heart Jake, she doesn't want to need you for this-because that means that maybe she'll always need you and she can't handle the idea of needing someone who doesn't need her."

"But that's just it Emily I didn't break her heart, not the way she thinks I did and that's what I'm trying to tell her-that I'm the one who will always need her," I said with a torment in my voice as ran a hand over my face. She spoke quickly, her platonic love for Paige engaging her protective streak as her tone went slightly snide, "Well just because you've reconsidered doesn't mean she should be okay with that Jacob-you can't just need her when it's convenient for you- that's not fair." "You're not listening!" I said sharply, my tone elevating as a stab of anger rocketed through me and my fist balled harshly before I continued in a quick and lashing tone, my nerves fraying unintentionally, "That's the God damn problem no one ever listens to me, they just assume they know what happened when really they don't have the faintest idea-because it's so much easier for everyone to hate me then to trust me why is that Emily? Have I ever given you reason to not trust me in all the years you've know me? Huh? Have I? Am I some disloyal and dishonest individual who says whatever he has to save his own skin? Am I?"

She spoke with vinegar in her tone, her words quick tongued "No you haven't and you never were that's why every single one of us took this whole thing so personally! And for your information you are probably the hardest person in the world to hate so don't go there! I hate disliking you and Sam despises thinking poorly of you- he doesn't know how to except what happened, which is why he's refused to talk to you, he's so disappointed in you but can't handle seeing his little brother in that light so he won't even talk about you!" I nearly snapped at this, the reasons she needed to listen to me being spoken directly from her own lips without her even connecting with it, "Then why haven't you or Sam ever come to me and asked me what the fuck happened? Why didn't anyone even care to find out my side of the story if I'm such a decent person and my actions were so out of character why didn't you pick up a phone and say 'Jake what the fuck?'! Why is it that someone who barely knows me can see the holes in this and the people who've known me nearly my entire life can't put two and two together? Why did everyone shut me down and out and no once say they would listen? I've been begging you to listen, telling you I needed someone to talk to and you all abandoned me when I was at my lowest! I don't get it Emily, I don't get any of you- do any of you know me at all?"

"Because we all saw her crumble, literally breakdown and shatter before us and every single one of us was blinded by the complete agony that seeped from her-" she started in hostile defense before I cut her off quickly and with much vigor, "And you all thought this person you've known nearly forever was capable of inflicting that upon someone that they loved? How long did you guys watch me be broken and beaten down by Bella while every single one of you told me to break her heart and cut my loses? But I couldn't do that to her, I couldn't hurt her because I loved her- I'm martyr Emily! I'd rather suffer every single day then to watch those I love feel pain and yet you all think I would give her a ring and promise her a future and then up and leave? How does that make any fucking sense?" "Well I don't know!" she screamed her voice shaking yet completely uncertain. "You don't know because it doesn't! Yet the whole lot of you ran with it blindly and ignored the stupidity of it-not once listening to a God damn word I had to say!" I yelled back, my entire body shaking, I didn't want to be this way but I was sick of the bullshit and I wasn't keeping quiet anymore.

She started to say something but I cut her off, my words spewing without thought, my guard snapping and everything I'd wanted to say when I was shut down came flooding from me viciously, "And here I am living up to my martyr status-being mum while the woman I love thinks I'm a backstabbing liar who would choose an awkward, melodramatic, selfish psycho over her! How can any of you believe that? I love Paige Emily, I never chose Bella and I was on my way over to her house to tell her that when Bella decided that she needed to remove Paige from the equation so she could live out this delusional fantasy that would involve me loving her again! Okay? That's what happened, that's what I've been trying to tell you all for the passed month and that what everyone shut down before they could hear! Now you've heard it and now you know-you never had to dislike me, Sam never had to be disappointed, Jared did have to hate me because I screwed over his sister, Quil doesn't have to shut me out because he feels he doesn't know me anymore, Embry doesn't have to despise me because I broke the heart of the person that I put our friendship in jeopardy to be with and Paul didn't have to rock my jaw on the premise that I was a lying snake! None of it was called for and none of it was justified-how does that make you feel? How do you swallow that one?"

I heard her breathing hitch violently and for a moment she said nothing at all, there was only static silence on the other for several breaths before her voice came with a gentleness that was dazed and confused, "You didn't say those things? Didn't send Bella to her house that night?" "No!" I nearly screamed, before my anger dissipated rapidly and me head fell again, the whole fiasco leaving me more emotional drained then I already was and when I spoke again there was barely any elevation and my words were soaked with desperation, "And yet I'm still the one she can't stand to be around- the one she can't trust herself with." "Oh Jake I'm so sorry-" she started in a broken whine, clear pain relevant in her words that shook with a broken heartedness before I cut in weakly, "None of it matters- I'm not really mad at you guys- I think it's more that I'm jealous of how close you've all been to her lately when I couldn't be."

She spoke quickly, her words convicted, "The past is done Jake, move forward and be the one who is close to her now-when we can't be. Fix it, do whatever you have to tell her the truth and if she won't listen you have to make her! She's pulling away because she's scared to accept she needs you just as badly as she did before, because that means that all the junk she's told herself about being okay without you is a lie-make her a liar Jake because she won't be right until you do! She's lost, scared and alone right now and she's just done something that shows weakness- she's let herself be close to you and God knows she's thinking that once this is over she'll lose you again and then the heartbreak starts all over. Show her she's wrong, get a plane to write it in the God damn sky if you have to-spare no means or cost because she needs to hear it and she wants to! I don't know how many nights she cried to me, like literally bawled, that all she wants is you to come rushing in and save her and tell her you're sorry and you want to make it work-you can do her one better Jake by rushing in to save her and tell her you never wanted this that you chose her then and you choose her now. Save her Jake please because she needs it!"

"She said that?" I said with a bit of dumbfounded weakness, hope finding it's way into my soft tone as I stopped and picked my head up very slowly. "Yes Jacob she said that. Go find her now, find her and make a scene of it, scream it at the top of your lungs if you have to-just end this whole cluster fuck right now and get to making it up to her!" she said with determination in her tone, making it sound like a motivational speech and giving me a wave of hope with her words. I swept my eyes quickly around my surroundings, as though maybe she'd be somewhere very close if I looked hard enough while a smile spread across my lips because I knew now what had to be done-no matter how she fought against me I would keep my promise to Bridget and I would make her listen. "Thank you Emily," I said with a intense rapture in my voice as I started back the way I had come, my footfall quick and unfaltering- I had to get to her now had to find her and tell her everything I had wanted to say every minute of the last month, no matter how I had to do it. "Jesus Jake it's the least I can do after being such a closed minded wench, I owe it to you and I promise I'm going to fix everything here with the rest of us losers. I'm gonna call every single one of them and tell them the great news-that we've got out friend back and that we're a bunch of assholes. And God knows how much Paul loves to hear that," she said with a small laugh in her voice towards the end. "Break it to him lightly Em," I said letting my self get a little laugh as well as I started to jog lightly, needing to get there as soon as possible, even though it was rather likely that she wouldn't be back yet. "I think a slap upside his thick head is light enough don't you?" she said giddily with a slight sadistic twinge to her voice that was something amazing to hear-I had gotten my sister back, the cold war had ended and she'd crossed the lines drawn to embrace me, it was an awesome feeling. "Sounds about right," I said laughing as I gripped the railing of the stairs in my hand and swung myself around so I was in position to sprint up them, paying no mind to the shoes I'd left at the bottom.

I heard her laugh with a good-humored demeanor before she spoke between giggles, "God I've missed you Jake, it feels awful nice to not have to dislike you anymore-it took a lot out of me." "I've missed you too Em, it's just as nice to have you back," I said smiling as I ripped through the gate and ran towards the doors without pause. "I love you Jake-good luck and sorry I'm an asshole again, promise it won't happen ever again," she said a smile clear in her voice, which made me smile in response. "I love you too Em and I'm gonna hold you to that," I said as my hand finally gripped the handle and I threw the door wide so my stride wouldn't be broken. "Gladly-now go!" she said softly at first and finished with vigor, her voice still showing a sign of a wide smile. "Gone," I said quickly before flipping the phone closed and shoving it in my pocket as I threw the door closed me behind me, the bang it created echoing through the house as I continued full fledge through it and called her name.

I hit every room, hanging on the doorframe of each and calling her name as I scanned it quickly but as I sprinted away from Casey's office I was left with only the knowledge that she was no where on the first floor. I took to the stairs, taking three steps in a single stride as I moved up them, pulling my self along with the railing before sprinting towards her bedroom. The door was open and the lights off but I charged into it anyhow, yelling her name with excitement as I broke through the doorway and headed to the bathroom. I hung from the frame of this doorway as well, a smile burning across my lips as I did a quick scan. She wasn't here either but I didn't mind waiting. I paced with an excited anxiety, inhaling deeply to control my breathing as I worked my way around the room, not wanting to stand still too long.

I passed the window at the far end of her room once more as I peered quickly though it because it looked out onto the driveway-hoping to see her returning from her walk as I crossed my arms at my chest and smiled wildly. I released my grip on my chest and fidgeted with the curtains, checking to make sure she wasn't standing just beyond the fabric and when my scan proves she was not I let them fall lightly back into place. As my eyes swept once more across the remainder of the view, I caught the glimpse of someone approaching from the left side of the drive way. I felt my heart skip frantically as I realized the moment I had waited for was nearly upon us. I got an instant wave of adrenaline, the course of it making my stomach lurch sickeningly and my muscles tense in anticipation and just when I thought I might get sick from the intensity I realized it was Paige, but she was not alone.

My heart pounded rapidly, a sort of fear spreading through me as my mouth fell lax and I leaned towards the window to see who her company was- my breathing staggering viciously. He was taller then her, his build defined but not eccentric and his light hair was tousled softly by the breeze. She turned towards him momentarily and he pulled her hand from it's place it her pocket and took it in his own so he could pull it to his lips and in doing so, he turned just a tad towards me and his features were highlighted by the sun-Donovan. I felt a wave of jealous anger, something that was nearly uncontrollable after such an intense wave of adrenaline. Why was he here? Why was she with him and why was she letting him put his mouth on her-even if it was just her hand? I leaned closer to the window as my jaw went rigid, the tension radiating through my body as my muscles locked and pumped, preparing for action if it was needed as my breathing went more rigid.

I saw his lips move slowly as he held her eyes before he drew her hand back to them again and my thoughts came out verbally in a growl, "Don't let him do that Paige, he's snake he's weaseling his way in- don't fall for that shit." But she didn't hear me and she looked up at him adoringly, her face scrunching softly in the way it did when she was trying not to cry before she pulled her hand free and threw her arms around his neck. "No!" I nearly yelled as my fists clenched in hostility, the force I used making my knuckles go white as anger blurred my vision around the edges. He didn't pull away-of course he didn't this was a cheap thrill to him-rather he drew her harder against him and pressed his face into her hair as his fingers began trailing through the length of it that hung over her shoulders.

This had every neuron in my body firing at once, the sheer volatility of my response making my adrenaline course again as my muscle shook from the tension that locked more viciously on them. I felt the urge to break something, to slam my fist into the wall and put a whole clean through it- this wasn't how it was supposed to happen, it wasn't supposed to be like this. She was supposed to let me hold her like that, I was supposed to have my arms around her in that way-not that pathetic weasel of a man who pined after her relentlessly. She knew better, what was she doing? Why was she letting him press his lips to her cheek and twirl the ends of her hair as he held her close to him? I released a fierce growl then, the intensity of it making my lips quiver-I'd be damned if I pushed them together.

I couldn't watch him hold her any longer, my fierce protectiveness and jealousy causing me to turn away from it as I started in a heavy footed manner away from the window. I had the mind to go out there and rip him off her my the back of his skinny little neck, I would yoke him right up off his feet and make him regret the sheer thought of capitalizing on my weakness. I refused to let him slip in in the gap I'd left between us, I'd learned that lesson quite sincerely once already and I wouldn't make the mistake again. And she'd be pissed, hell she'd probably even hit me out of anger and that was fine, I'd take it and then I'd grab her and show her just how hot her anger was to me- how sexy she was when she was fired up. And there wouldn't be a need for words then, she'd feel my intensity in the way I handled her, in the sheer power of my touch and the complete hunger in my kiss.

Yes that's how it would happen just as soon as I was done making weasel dick regret comforting her, being the broken hearted lovelorn loser I was for Bella every time Edward made her upset. Fuck him for being her friend. The thought stopped me dead in my track as I descended the stairs-my footwork ceasing and my muscles going lax as my jaw feel open at the word-friend. Donovan was being her friend and I was going to go out there and rip his throat open for being supportive-for being what he always was. I slammed my hands into my face as s defeated groan broke through my lips before I drug my fingers harshly down- I couldn't do that, that wasn't fair. He was her friend, and yes he was a snake and trying to weave his way in when she was weak but he was still her friend. She'd gone to him because she needed comforting, something I hadn't given her and even if he thought it was more, Paige wouldn't let it go that far because a platonic future was all she saw for them. I had to walk away, had to go cool off somewhere and get a hold of myself or I'd be the big meat headed oaf who stormed out of the house and choked out her comforting friend-I'd drive her closer to him.

I reluctantly turned around as a fierce growl broke from my lips again- I fucking hated being the sensible one sometimes, it really fucking sucked! I wanted just for once to be the passionate one, the brute one who dealt with the consequences of his actions afterwards-I needed that release, just one hit in his mouth-but I also wanted to be the one with her and that was not the way to go about it. I stomped up back up the stairs and to the guest bedroom, the adrenaline dying down some in my chest and making me violently nauseous. There was no way I could tell her now, not without risking being the asshole so it was best I went and slept it off- I would save her tomorrow. The idea of it was infuriating but I stalked into the room anyhow, slamming the door behind me angrily and flopping onto the bed on my back as I drug my hands over me face and growled once more, not even bothering with the lights. "Fuck!" I screamed with fury as I slammed my heavy fist once into the mattress beside me, making the bed shake beneath the blow.

I ran my hands once more over my face as I rose to a sitting position, burying my face within them as I brought my elbows to my knees and inhaled deeply to calm myself and alleviate the nausea that the adrenaline surge left when it was not used. I stayed like this for several deep breaths before I felt confident enough to rise to my feel without hurling so I could strip for bed and crash until I was time to rectify everything. I threw the clothes a bit more forcefully then was really needed, but I wasn't sure how else to release some of my anger and once I was left in only my boxers I flopped back on the bed on my back and brought my hands to my face again. This was all wrong, but it was the only way to keep from fucking it up further. Emily and Bridget were right, I had to tell her but I would jeopardized everything by being violent. I crossed my arms at my chest and my legs at the ankle, shaking my foot viciously for several moments as I stewed with my eyes pressed harshly closed.

Somewhere in the deep stewing I heard the light sound of Paige ascending the stairs, her steps soft and unhurried and the sound of it snapped my tension instantly. I froze, ceased all motion and laid completely still as I listened to her footfall and waited for an answer as to what she did. The floor boards creaked under her weight and the sound of them traveled away from me before coming back towards me. I didn't move, my muscles tensing in the way they would if the seeker was close to your hiding spot, not a single one even twitching. A light squeak echoed through my room as the light from the hallway flooding into the darkness created by the full drawn heavy curtains before disappearing again as the door clicked softly closed. I didn't open my eyes, unsure of exactly what I should do, but rather remained completely still and waited for sounds that would explain what she was doing.

I heard the distinct sound of a zipper being pulled down before denim fell softly to the floor followed closely by more discarded fabric. My heart was racing, I didn't know what to do-should I speak, should I move? Because I couldn't get a coherent thought I remained motionless and listened to her steps come closer to me, the sound of them light and clearly tiptoed. She moved around the end of the bed and came to the open side next to me, crawling slowly onto the mattress and the springs gave of a metallic creak softly under her weight. Each move she made towards me was slow and drawn out, as she tried to close the space between us without jarring me, hoping to slip into bed without waking me-not knowing that I was very much awake and holding my breath in anticipation. She pulled my arms slowly from my chest, the movement tedious as her breathing came in a nervous manner and I let it feel heavy and life less to keep from revealing the truth. She worked her way steadily into the nook of my arm, letting her head fall softly on my chest as she wiggled into the appropriate spot, threw her leg over mine and released a gentle sigh of relief.

I groaned softly, the way a sleeping man would and drew my arm around her to pulled her closer into me so I could press my face into her hair. I inhaled deeply, released another soft groan and then settled into the bed, finally finding comfort. I could feel her smile against my chest as she placed a soft kiss against it before settling more deeply into me as well with another gentle sigh. I refused to ruin this, to give away that I'd been privy to her actions so I let myself be still, enjoying the sensation of holding her and let her presence calm me so that I might rest. Sleep came quiet easily, the lull of it drifting into my now peaceful mind as I let myself be lost in her scent, in the way body felt on mine and how right it felt to be like this with her. She spoke in a hazy whisper, her own relaxing evident in the tone as she wiggle just a tad closer and placed her hand over her ring that hung in the center of my chest before sighing gently, "Because I'm safe here too."

If I hadn't been so close to sleep I would have tensed at the words but as sleep creep through my mind wildly I just rivaled in them and thought quite simply with much adoration and a bit of lustfulness, "Yes my love you are."