A/n: Things are looking pretty bleak, but there may be hope. There just may be...

Chapter 34

I woke up late the next morning. We had arrived home around one in the morning and I was exhausted, physically and emotionally. I was so tired that I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow. Thinking back, I wondered how Maribelle managed to help me into my night clothes. Thinking a little over an hour before that, I wondered what in the world made me say what I said. Burying my head in my hands, I let out a groan of frustration. Why did I accept Jacques' feelings? I didn't think I liked him in that sense. Did I? What would it matter now? I had already gone and told him that I was perfectly fine with him fancying me.

"Good morning, child." Maribelle said as she walked into the room with breakfast... well, more like brunch. She sat the tray on the table next to my bed and went to the armoire to select a dress for me. "I hope you slept well after the tiring events of yesterday. You look a little drained."

"Oh, I slept fine, Maribelle." I answered, dropping my hands from my face. "I just went and did something stupid without thinking it through."

"What do you mean, child?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at me. "What did you do?" So I explained what I had done before I joined her in the carriage. The conversation between Jacques and myself, the kiss, the confession, and lastly the mistake. She laid the dress she had picked out at the foot of my bed, shaking her head. "Child, you are in no position to be accepting any man's feelings. You are heartbroken and therefore vulnerable. If the doctor had known this, he would not have asked."

"I know. I know this." I said after taking a sip of the tea she brought me with the food. "I didn't think of, nor did I want to, tell him about Erik. I'm sure Erik would appreciate another person not speaking of his existence." My voice was filled with venom. My anger with Erik hiding himself from me was still fresh. Jacques was too kind to turn down. He was so selfless, always thinking about others before himself. Whether it was putting his patients first or his sister, he always put himself last. Ivette said he hadn't been interested in finding a wife in a long time. When their parents were still alive, their mother wished him to marry as soon as he graduated. He had no such luck and then they got sick, which consumed much of his thoughts and time. "Maribelle, I don't know what to do. I worry that will be hurt if I turn him away now. I was such an idiot to just mindlessly accept his feelings."

"Now listen here, Flora." Maribelle said sharply, catching my attention. She looked me right in the eyes and spoke. "Do you feel the same towards Jacques that he feels for you?"

"I don't know what I feel for him."

"Do you still have feelings for Erik?" she questioned.

"I am still angry with him, if that counts." I answered, but stopped and thought further on her question. My heart ached at the mention of his name, but I couldn't tell if it was because I was angry or if I loved him still. He had hurt me and I was furious. I had every right to be, but behind that hurt and anger, could it be true I still loved him? "This is only confusing me more, Maribelle." I groaned. "Jacques is a good man. He hasn't kept any secrets from me. I would be happy to court him if I knew what I felt for him."

"That is something you have to figure out for yourself." Maribelle said, brushing her skirts. "It is not good to brood over such things first thing in the morning, even though it will be noon here in a while. Eat your food and I'll prepare a bath for you for when you're finished." Before I could put in another word, she had already disappeared into the wash room. I hated feeling clueless. And never in my entire life had I felt clueless about my feelings. Taking Maribelle's words into consideration, I seized any thoughts on the matter. I finished the oatmeal and buttered biscuits in a hurry. There was a long, warm, relaxing bath to be taken.

When I finished bathing, I dried off and Maribelle helped me into a dress. She told me if I needed anything, she would be outside hanging laundry up to dry. With that, she left me alone and I made my way down to the library. I scoured the shelves, hoping to find an interesting title but had no such luck. It seemed the world was against me. I sat down on the chaise in front of the empty fireplace, staring at the soot covered brick. It was no longer morning and I decided to think about the predicament I had gotten myself into.

Erik was not in my best graces, but I knew that I wouldn't feel that way forever. Even after finding out he was alive and turning him away, I missed him. I missed him so much. He was my first friend in what seemed like forever and then he became so much more than a friend. I had loved him, for crying out loud! I had brought him out of his heartbreak and protected him. He was always worried about my safety and I recall him telling me that is why he kept his continuing life a secret. I had been too harsh with him. In fact, I knew quite well that I was downright cold when he begged me to not turn him away. I realized then that I had broken his heart for the second time. After Christine and now me rejecting him, I could not see him opening his heart ever again. He had been so fragile when we met all because of that woman and I had stooped down to her level.

And then there was Jacques. He had been so kind and caring towards me, even though he had no idea why I was being watched over. Ivette couldn't stop talking about how he would always return home in time for dinner now. That he started doing this when I began visiting a few times every week. He was an excellent doctor and a wonderful older brother. Jacques was selfless, intelligent, well-spoken, and polite. He found simple, uninteresting conversations between Ivette and I amusing. If there were any kinder man than Jacques, I would be surprised.

Erik too, had been kind, but I admit he was a little rough around the edges. That is one of the charms that appealed to me when I realized my feelings for him. He had been kind even when he was in pain. Erik had been there for me and I had been there for him when both of us had no one else. We depended on one another in our own ways, but that is what had brought us together in the first place. Erik had given me his home, the house he had lived in as a child, out of pure kindness and goodness. If it weren't for him, I would not have a roof over my head or food to eat. He had protected and provided for me, but more than that, he had loved me every step of the way. The ache in my chest returned and I felt warmth flood over me like a river. I loved Erik because he loved me when no one else did. And he had loved me even if he didn't know that I still loved him.

Running to a desk, I pulled out a piece of parchment and quickly wrote out a note for Louis to deliver to Jacques. Erik could be wallowing in misery for all I knew and I would not stand for that. I had to go see him and apologize immediately. After that, I would confess my undying love for him and beg that he forgive me for my cruelty. It was up to him if he wanted me back, but I prayed that he had remained steadfast, believing that our love would prevail.

I ran from the library and grabbed my cloak from the coat closet in the foyer. Being in such a hurry, I hadn't noticed Louis standing with two guests by the door. I finished tying my cloak around my shoulders and turned around. Much to my surprise, Jacques was standing there talking with Louis, but there was a woman wearing all black as well. She wore a mourning veil over her face, obscuring her features. "Flora!" Jacques called out upon noticing me, a smile spreading across his face that sent chills down my spine. Something was off here. Something was not right. I walked slowly towards the door, wishing I could escape conversing with Jacques and his companion, but it seemed that wouldn't be possible. "I want you to meet someone very important to Ivette and I."

"Oh, who is this?" I asked, crumpling the note within my hand. "And I really must speak with you in private as soon as possible."

"In a moment, darling." The nickname 'darling' gave me the creeps and I put on the most convincing smile to hide the discomfort. "This is Ivette's new etiquette instructor. She was also one of my mother's closest friends. Ivette has been talking nonstop about you to her and she wished to meet you herself. So, without further ado, Flora," A familiar scent swirled through the air and past my senses. I breathed deeply, nearly choking on the air when I recognized the heavy scent of peonies and vanilla. "This is…"

"Mother!" I backed away, not wanting to be anywhere near that woman.

"What?" Jacques turned to her, but was caught off guard when she swung the butt of a pistol down on his temple. He dropped like a rock to the ground, unconscious. Louis moved to wrestle the gun from my mother, but she quickly had it pointed at him.

"Flora, dear." she cooed, her eyes trained on Louis to make sure he didn't try anything. "I have missed you so much. You're coming home with me."

"I am not going home with you." I spat. "This is my home now and you have no say in my life anymore."

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to make things messy, but it seems there is no other choice." Before I knew what was happening, she had pulled the trigger and Louis stumbled back against the wall, clutching at his stomach. Red blossomed around his hands, staining the once white, pristine fabric of his shirt.

"No!" I screamed, running for him only to be caught by the hair. My mother curled her fingers tighter, pulling me backwards until I was pressed up against her. "Let me go! He's going to die!"

"Well, he'll get to meet your father, then." She giggled and I understood why she wore the mourning veil. My father had been sick. Terribly sick for such a long time. I prayed he would get better, but it seems that he didn't. A sob tore its way from my throat and I started crying. "Oh, hush now. He passed quickly and painlessly in the night. I was by his side of course. I cried too because I realized I was completely alone." I felt the metal of the barrel of the pistol slide down my cheek, still warm from her firing the bullet into Louis' stomach. A wave of nausea rolled over me and I struggled to break away from her. "But I have you now. So I won't be alone."

"Get away from me! You're crazy!" I shouted, wondering why nobody could hear us. "Please let me go, mother. I don't want to go with you. You can rot in…"

"Flora…" Louis coughed. I looked down at him, his eyes half open and unfocused. "Go. He will find you." With that, he drew a final ragged breath and slumped down against the hard wood floor. My mother started dragging me towards the open door where I saw the family carriage waiting. Jacques must have come with her.

"Louis! Louis! No!" I shouted, fighting to break free from my mother's iron grip. I didn't care if the handful of hair was torn from my head. Going with her was the last thing I wanted to do. She had never used force on me like this before. I was surprised that she managed to get the carriage door open herself and push me inside. Before I could turn around and push my way out of the carriage, she had closed the door and dropped a bar across it to keep it in place. Slamming my fists against the door, I screamed and cried for her to let me go. I felt the carriage dip a little as she climbed into the driver's seat. I looked out the window, seeing Estelle come running from the back of the house. Her eyes met mine and a look of horror crossed her face. But it was too late for her to do anything. My mother had already cracked the reigns and the horses took off, taking me away from the safest place I had ever known.

A/n: How could we forget about mummy dearest? Tsk. Tsk. No one saw that coming, did they? Not even our dear Flora.