A/N Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

I own a rhinestone tiara that I won at gay bingo.

I also owned the hangover from said gay bingo.

No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 36

With trembling hands, I ended my call and gripped the steering wheel of my car. It was done and my decision had been made. And it was final. The whooshing of blood in my ears had finally calmed, but the adrenaline that was coursing through my body, was still causing me to shake as if I were having a panic attack. And maybe I was. I couldn't tell anymore.

I took several deep breaths as I looked at the building. I knew I needed to go in, even though a part of me was afraid of what would happen. But there was no other choice given what had taken place. This was the way it had to be...and as scared as I was, I knew that this was the way I wanted it to be.

Flipping down the vanity mirror, I looked at my reflection. My skin was pale, but my cheeks were flushed. My bottom lip was swollen and red from the way my teeth had worried it. I licked my lips even though my tongue felt dry and I silently longed for just a drink of water.

I looked back to the building and resolved myself to just get out and stop procrastinating. This was what I had to do.

And I couldn't...I wouldn't regret my choice.

Not now.

Not ever.

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I sat there staring at Michael blankly, my mouth hanging agape. I couldn't process his words...couldn't begin to believe that there was the remotest possibility that they were true. But as I looked at his face, there was no insincerity to be found. No dishonesty to speak of. And before I could control and stop it, a nervous giggle escaped my lips. And then I was laughing, somewhat maniacally because there was no way that this could be real...he couldn't possibly be in love with me.

"Well," he stated, somewhat dryly. I could tell that his voice was rigid with tension and I immediately felt bad. "That wasn't exactly the response that I was hoping for."

His question caught me off guard because, honestly, I didn't understand what reaction he was expecting.

"I'm sorry, Michael," I said sincerely. "It's just – I just – I don't know what to say."

"Bella," he said my name with more affection than I'd ever heard from him, but the sound of my name coming from his voice like that wasn't right. It would never be right. "I know this must be unexpected, but I needed you to know the truth. I need you to know how I feel about you…how I've felt about you for some time now."

I was the insinuation that these…feelings had been going on for an extended period of time that made me more uncomfortable than the actual feelings themselves. We had developed one of the most important relationships in my life over the last several years. He was my mentor and my guide, but it was never more than a professional friendship. At least on my side.

"Michael," I started softly. "You don't mean that. You can't possibly be in love with me."

"Bella, I know that I'm crossing a line here, but please…don't trivialize what I feel."

"I'm not trivializing it, Michael," I said softly, but with determination. "It's just…it's just that it's not possible. You can't be in love with me. You don't really know anything about me."

My words seemed to unnerve him and I watched as he swallowed thickly before taking a drink of his water. He took a deep, but shaking breath and I could tell that he was nervous. This made me nervous as well and I wondered if I should say something else. I decided to wait and let him speak when he was ready. He finally looked back up at me and his blue eyes were fluid and deep…and piercing. I began to panic because I had never seen Michael look at me like this in all of the time he'd known me. He was looking at me, not as my friend and mentor, but the way a man looked at a woman. Only, he was the wrong man.

"I've known you for almost five years, Bella," he said simply…as if it was the explanation for everything. "I know more about you than you can possibly understand."

"Michael, please…don't," I pleaded. "Don't do this."

He continued on as if I hadn't said anything.

"I know that you are the most determined woman I've ever known. I know that you take a while to make decisions, but when you do, you stand by the decisions you've made. I know that you are dedicated and I know that you want to be successful in your life. I know that you are fiercely loyal and would do anything for the people that are important to you…and I know, Bella…I know that I've been important to you."

I turned his words over in my mind, completely panicked and unable to speak. It was clear to me that his feelings were much deeper than I'd ever thought. I had never, in all of the years I'd known and worked for him, ever thought that he would harbor such deep feelings for me. While I was still processing his words and trying to decide what I was going to say, he reached his hand across the table and took mine in his.

"And Bella," he added. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever known and I know that I could make you happy if you just gave me the chance. I understand you…who you are….what you need. We could be happy together, Bella. I know you know that."

I closed my eyes and flashes of moments like this one flooded my mind. Small physical gestures that I'd disregarded as him being friendly and affectionate. I thought about the night in the bar when he'd held my hand as Edward sat across from us watching him touch me in a way that he felt was inappropriate…much like the way that he was touching me now. I had always attributed Edward's behavior to jealousy and possessiveness, but what if he had been able to see something in Michael that I had never been able to see? Was there a look that I missed? Was there an inflection in his voice that I'd overlooked? Without hesitation, I pulled my hand from his because as much as I didn't want to hurt him – and I didn't – my hand was not his hand to hold.

I opened my eyes and was met with his anxious expression.

"Please, Bella," he urged. "Please talk to me. Say…say something."

"Michael…you don't love me," I stated calmly, but with conviction.

"Please don't try to tell me how I feel, Bella. I know that you might not feel the same way, but I know how I feel about you."

"Well, then," I told him. "If you are in love with me…you are in love with an image of me that you've created in your mind because, honestly Michael, you really don't know me."

"Did you not just listen to the things I said?" he asked, exasperated. "I know you."

"No…you know what I've allowed you to see of me at work, but Michael, you have to know that there is far more to me than that," I told him sincerely." You don't know who I really am as a person. You don't know about my history...you have no real knowledge of my hopes and dreams."

"Yes, yes I do, Bella," he said, interrupting me. "I know that you have a need to be successful. I know that you have goals and aspirations that you have worked very hard to see come to fruition. Don't you see? I know you because you and I are one in the same. I understand you far more than you give me credit for."

My hands were twisting the napkin in my lap and as I looked at him, I realized that he really thought that those things he understood about me and he did understand them, but he thought that that was who I was. It wasn't. Everything he said was just a very small and compartmentalized, albeit important, part of who I was. They weren't really who I was as a person...and in that moment, the realization of that truth struck me –maybe for the first time in my life.

"You're right," I told him. "I am all of those things, Michael, but that's not who I am. Not really. There is so much more to me than that. I have hopes and dreams that have nothing to do with my job. I have insecurities and hang-ups and while you know a lot about me...you only know what I have allowed you to see in a professional and platonic environment."

"I want to know those things, Bella," he stated softly, his eyes matching the tone of his voice. "I want to get to know those things, but you and I both know that your professional drive is one of the most important things about you."

His words stung me as I allowed the implication behind them to settle. A year ago, I might have agreed with him...possibly even considered it a compliment, but that was then and it was certainly not now. So much had changed.

"The fact that you think that, only shows me that you have very little knowledge of who I really am," I said, the knowledge of my own realization making me bold. "I am so much more than that and even though I might not be perfect, there is someone who knows all the big and small pieces of me. He knows what makes me laugh and he understands what makes me cry and I'm truly sorry, Michael…but even if you do love me, I will never love anyone else."

I pulled my hand from his for the last time. I didn't want to hurt him, but I didn't want to send any mixed signals either.

"Cullen?" he asked knowingly.

"Yes," I told him.

"Bella, I am sorry if I have made you uncomfortable," he told me, looking as nervous as I'd felt for the last hour. "I hope this won't impede our working relationship."

"Michael?" I asked. "I need you to honestly tell me if your feelings for me ever influenced the decisions you made to promote me."

"Absolutely not, Bella," he stated emphatically. "You earned every bit of success you've had. I might have favored you, but you can't fabricate results. You always delivered results. I am so sorry if my admission today has made you doubt your ability. I never wanted to do that. You are an exceptional leader, Bella. Your success is your own and while I like to think that I have helped you along the way, it has nothing to do with me."

I took in his words and thought about my career. I knew that I had earned everything that I'd been awarded. I was good at my job. No, I was fucking great at my job. The old insecurities I had about people's perceptions were just that – insecurities. And I would never allow them to weigh me down again.

I looked across the table to the man that had taught me almost everything I knew about the industry that I worked in. The air was still thick and awkward between us, but even in the midst of all of that, I was still overcome with a deep and sincere gratitude for him.

"Bella?" he asked, noticing my change in demeanor.

"Michael…I've made a decision."

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I stood at the door; my rapidly beating heart was so loud in the quiet space of the hallway. Why was I so nervous? This had been my choice. He said that he would support whatever I chose to do and I had definitely made my decision clear. It wasn't just the decision that worried me, it was how he was going to react to Michael's disclosure at lunch.

It was a moot point, in my mind anyway. There would never be anyone for me but Edward. Sitting across from Michael at the table while he confessed his love for me - or rather the person he thought I was - had done nothing more than confirm that. Edward knew me...knew all the parts that I was proud of and all of the parts that were needy and insecure. And he loved all of me.

I pushed the door open and there he was…sitting at his desk. His chair was turned around facing the window and he was talking on the phone. I pushed back on the door and it closed with a quiet click, but it was still loud enough for him to hear. He swung around in his chair and the brilliant smile that crossed his face at just the sight of me was enough to calm every fear and ounce of trepidation that I had. In one swift and graceful motion, he was out of the char and crossing the small distance between us, his phone call completely forgotten. He pulled me into his arms, his hands sliding up my hips and sides…and with an audible sigh his soft, wet lips covered mine.

He was gentle and probing at first. His tongue deliciously licking my bottom lip while he sucked on my top. His hand that had made its way to my neck, trailed up to my jaw and he gently coaxed my mouth to open for him. I did so without hesitation. I loved the way he tasted as our tongues slipped against and mingled together in a dance that was solely our own. As I ran my hands across his stomach and over his chest, I wondered why I'd even been nervous to begin with. After everything we'd been through, the events of today seemed so small and insignificant.

"You came," he murmured against my mouth, still continuing to lick and kiss.

"Not yet," I giggled in response. "But here's to hoping."

I felt the rumble in his chest as he chuckled and his hands slid down to my waist, pulling me against him and lifting me slightly off the floor.

"Did you just make a dirty joke, Ms. Swan?"

"Maybe," I replied coyly.

"I think I rather like this playful side of you."

"Oh, really?" I said, before laving his bottom lip with the tip of my tongue. "And here I thought that you liked all of my sides, Mr. Cullen."

His eyes grew a dark and stormy jade at my words.

"That is where you're wrong, love," he said lowly. "I love all of your sides."

"I love you," I told him genuinely, forgetting the light mood for a moment. "Sometimes I just need to say it."

"Baby," he whispered against my cheek. "Please, don't ever stop saying it. I love you, too."

He led me over to the couch and my face flushed with desire as I remembered the last time I was here and the way he took me against the edge. He sat down first and pulled me into his lap sideways so that I was facing him. He looked at me, smiling and I knew that he could tell what I was thinking of.

"It's okay," he said. "I find myself staring at it all the time."

"Really?"

"Mmm…yes," he said, his eyes glazing over momentarily. "Did you like that?"

"Was my response ambiguous that day?"

He laughed and kissed me softly once more.

I wanted to wrap myself in his arms and continue kissing him all day and night, but I knew that I could no longer avoid telling him about Michael. There would never be another secret between us…ever. I believed that more with each and every moment that passed.

"How was your lunch?" he asked, broaching the subject first.

"It was…interesting," I said, searching his eyes to see his response.

"Interesting," he repeated. Not really a question, rather just a reiterating of the word. "Care to elaborate?"

"Edward," I started nervously. "I need to tell you something."

I could feel the tension in his body, so I leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his lips. I wanted him to know that no matter what had happened and what my decision was, there would never be anything more important than him. He relaxed a bit at the gesture and I reached for his hands and pulled them into my lap…holding them and stroking them with my now trembling fingers.

"Bella, what's going on?"

I bit down on my bottom lip and he reached his hand up and pulled it from between my teeth, gently stroking it with his thumb.

"You have to promise me that you won't get upset."

"Please, Bella," he said. "Just tell me."

"Just remember that I love you and nothing that I am going to tell you will ever change that."

He looked so concerned and I could feel the quick and shallow breaths he was taking against my ear. I waited to see if he would say anything else and when he remained silent, I decided to just bite the bullet and spit the words out as quickly as possible.

"I don't ever want there to be secrets between us again, so I am telling you this."

I looked into his eyes and they were soft, but concerned and I felt his hands tighten around mine.

"First of all…when I went to lunch this afternoon, Michael told me that he was in love with me and that he had been for a long time."

I saw the muscle in his perfectly angled jaw twitch at my words, but I could tell that he was fighting to keep his expression the same. His soft jade eyes were now a piercing, hard emerald and I could feel the elevated rate of his now pounding heartbeat. He said nothing at first, but I watched as he opened his mouth and his words drifted across my face.

"You said first of all…was there something else?"

"Yes," I said. "Before I came into your office, I was on the phone with Aro Darman."

The room was completely silent with the exception of our breathing and when he spoke quietly, so hushed that it was almost a whisper…I heard it.

"Fuck."

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A/N (Long-ass – as usual.)

Please leave me some love and review.

So, I know this was a shorter than usual chapter, but I needed to break it right there. (also because I'm slightly evil) As a bonus for all of your patience, I will be posting the next chapter on Sunday morning because I love my readers so fucking much!

Marvar, my love. You are the best beta (fic-wife, co-writer and friend) in the world and I cannot tell you just how much I adore you. Thank you for doing this with me. If I could give Jasper better hair in New Moon, I would. But then, what would we make fun of when we watched it together? Oh, that's right…Shirtless Laurent. You own my ass…and my rack. #SFC #FLS

A lot of you were surprised by Michael's admission last week. I encourage you to read the MPOV outtake in the Retail Therapy Outtakes located in my stories section on my Authors Page. It was written for the Haiti Compilation and it was very revealing. There is also an EPOV of the first chapter of Retail Therapy.

Marvar is the Team Darcyward captain for Retail Therapy by cosmogirl7481. Contact her on Twitter (marvar29) or email forthwithward (at) gmail (dot) com to support FGBEclipse. I will be writing a chapter of Retail Therapy from EPOV. The winner chooses the chapter, and I am guessing that since you are all pervs like me, I will be writing a chapter that is hot and lemontastic.

LiMB is on schedule to post in the morning.