NOTE: Since it appears Fanfiction dot net won't allow me to strikethrough text (grrrr), I'm going to just manually write in the tags, like this: (*strike* This is the part that is crossed out */strike*) to indicate where either Rhianna or Loghain have crossed out a word while they were writing. Please pretend along with me; I apologize for the ugliness.
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4 Wintersend, 9:26 Dragon
Dear Teyrn Loghain,
Enclosed is a small gift for your birthday, which I remembered is coming up next week. I drew it from memory (although I suspect Anora noticed me staring at her, when I was trying to fix her face in my mind so I could put it on parchment later). Even though it's not the best likeness, I thought you might enjoy having an image of your daughter to look at while you are at sea.
I genuinely hope you had a good birthday (since I'm sure the day will have come and gone before the bird finds you; it's only five days away as I am writing this). Please know I thought a great many good thoughts for you on that day, along with my continuing prayers for you and King Maric.
Having said that . . . you are lucky you're one of my very favorite people, or I might have decided not to write to you at all anymore. I was highly offended by the comment you made in your last letter, with respect to the things I'd said about Oren. Of course me being "a bit of a terror" is in the past tense. I pride myself on being as much of a terror as possible now I'm older, and have a great many clever ideas about being extremely terrible. "Bit of a terror," indeed. The fact you have so little regard for my skills hurt my feelings very much.
Although I suppose I do owe you an apology, as well. I feel horrible -deeply horrible - for gloating about the cats and their bonnets. It was inconsiderate of me, when I knew how heartbroken you would be about not being able to see them. It does, however, provide further evidence of my excellent abilities to terrorize people. Even you will have to admit how very good at it I am.
(As to your post script: No, I wasn't joking, and yes she actually did dress them up in their bonnets, except for Ser Hemsworth, who merely had a bow around his neck. It was . . . well, I don't have words to describe just what it was. Honestly).
In any case, I have decided to forgive you for your horrible behavior, and continue our correspondence. For the time being, anyway. (Did that sound like a threat? I meant for it to. Haha)!
And now I hate Denerim more than ever! If I hadn't come here, you would have visited me in Highever? I wish wish wish that's what had happened, because I can't think of anything that would make me happier than seeing you. And it would have given me the chance to stow away on board ship, and then I could have come with you the rest of the way. Because honestly, being in Ferelden right now is mostly horrible (you'll understand why in a minute).
I do have news, rather a lot of it, actually. First things first, the mystery of the bees has been solved. The day after I arrived in Denerim, *strike*Lady*/strike* Queen Anora invited me over for lunch again, and she told me it was, indeed, Habren Bryland who sabotaged the bouquet. Apparently, Habren even kept all the wings in a little box in her room, and her father found them.
On the one hand, it is good to know the truth, but part of me is unhappy about it, too. I mean, yes, I suspected it was Habren, but to be honest, I was hoping it wasn't her. Because it was such an awful thing to have done, it almost would have been nicer to think of it being done by a stranger (maybe someone from Orlais), for some political reason. And not meant to hurt me, personally.
Especially since, after she got caught, Habren swore I was the only one she intended to get stung by the bees, not Queen Anora. That's probably a lie. I'm sure she wouldn't have cared if Anora had been stung, and just said that hoping the queen won't start hating her too much (although I suspect it's a bit late for that).
But either way, it isn't a good feeling knowing she set out to hurt me. And succeeded spectacularly well (although she doesn't know that; as far as she knows, I was only stung once or twice).
At any rate, after Queen Anora told me what happened, she also said it would be up to me what would be done about it; whether or not I wanted everyone to know what Habren had done.
That was a difficult decision. Part of me wanted her to be completely humiliated, maybe dragged through the streets and flogged in the marketplace. (I'm joking about the flogging. Well, sort of). But if I'd agreed to some sort of public punishment, I'm sure Habren would have never forgiven me. Anora also said it might be best if what Habren did never became common knowledge, just to avoid it becoming a big scandal.
I thought about it for quite a while, and in the end I decided it would be best if the whole thing was kept quiet. Habren is being punished; she's been banned from setting foot in Denerim for a year. (An entire year! Can you believe it! I won't have to see her at all for a whole year)! And I'm pretty sure Uncle Leonas has some other punishment planned as well. My father seems to think because Habren is only fifteen, it is reasonable she not be punished too terribly much (although I think fifteen is plenty old enough to know right from wrong). But, at any rate I made my decision, and that will be the end of it, I suppose.
Anyway, enough about Habren. I do have plenty of other things yet to tell you.
Alysanne Valdric was wed to Bann Krole last week. They held the ceremony at the Denerim Chantry, and Mother and I both attended. I would say they looked happy, but that would be a lie. Of course, I don't think anyone is expecting them to be happy. Alysanne herself told me her father was forcing her to marry him, to 'secure power' in the south, and because Bann Krole isn't making Bann Valdric pay any dowry. And she plans to take a lover as soon as Bann Krole dies, or maybe even before.
To be honest, the whole thing scares me. She's only a few months older than I am, after all. Which means I'm old enough to get married now, although Mother assured me I didn't have to worry about ending up in a marriage like Alysanne's. (Although, really, I'm not sure she's the one getting the worst of the bargain. Bann Krole might not be very handsome, and he has only one leg, but it's possible he's nice. Something I know is definitely not true about Alysanne. She's nearly as horrid as Habren).
Finally (and this final bit of news isn't quite so lovely. Well, I suppose none of the other things were lovely either, were they? But this is worse, which is why, I suppose, I left it for last) . . . where was I? Oh yes.
Apparently, everyone thinks I'm in love with King Cailan, and I was crying at the wedding because I wasn't the one marrying him. Someone saw me crying (because of the bee stings, except people didn't know that was the reason), and someone else saw me drinking wine out of your goblet, and yet another person saw me being sick in the garden. Now all the gossips are saying I was so unhappy I got drunk at the wedding because I'm madly in love with the king. Of course, Habren wasted no time in making sure everyone heard the story (probably she was the one who invented it, right before she was sent back to South Reach). I think Lady Harriet's been telling it to people, too. Rhianna Cousland, a pathetic, drunken disgrace to her family, pining away for the king.
It's just not fair. I don't even like him! Hopefully something else interesting will happen, and Denerim will find someone else to gossip about. But for the time being, everyone seems to be gossiping about me. Which is ironic, because really, they should all be talking about how horrible Habren is for putting bees in the wedding bouquet, only because of my decision, no one knows about that.
Fortunately, we'll be returning soon to Highever, so at least I won't be around to hear everyone twittering every time I walk by.
Oh, I suppose one interesting (and not horrible) thing did happen. During the First Day celebration at the palace, I managed to convince Bann Teagan to go riding with me the next day, and we had a very nice time. (To be honest, it didn't require much convincing. He said yes pretty much right away). We rode west, out toward the Bannorn, to a little village called Hafter that was still celebrating the festival. We had lunch together, and he teased me about a lot of things and made me laugh, kind of like King Maric used to do.
That's not the interesting bit, though. You see, on the way back, we passed a couple of soldiers, and one of them was riding Aeran! Well, of course I had to stop. Partly because Faolan and I wanted to say hello to Aeran, but also to make sure no one had stolen your mount. The woman riding Aeran was called Ser Cauthrien, and she was quick to assure me she was only riding him to make sure he was exercised while you were away at sea. Which made me feel a bit horrible - I should have thought of that myself. I could have been taking Aeran out for rides when I was in town. But Ser Cauthrien seemed very nice, and Aeran likes her quite a lot, so I suppose it's fine this way, too. But I'm going to try and convince Father to let me at least visit with Aeran tomorrow, and from now on I'll do that every time I'm in the city. Poor thing, he probably misses you even more than I miss you. Which is an awfully lot.
Being at sea sounds mostly very lovely. I wish you had brought me with you. Just think how much fun we would be having together! You know we never run out of things to talk about, and I love being on the water. The storm doesn't sound like fun, though. I would have been scared, I'm sure. Oh, and to answer your question, no, my scouts haven't found anything. Well, I don't know what they have or haven't found, since none of them have returned to tell me anything.
This letter has gotten quite long, hasn't it? So, I'll send it off now, along with the drawing.
Again, I hope you had a very happy birthday.
Love,
Rhianna
P.S. Please don't forget that if you ever doubt my skills of terror again, I might have to discontinue our correspondence.
P.P.S. That is a joke. I am fairly certain nothing you could say, short of "stop writing to me with your inane babble, Rhianna" would make me discontinue our correspondence. And probably not even that. Oh, Maker. Does that mean I'm not really terrible after all? I hope not. ~ R
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9 Wintersend, 9:26 Dragon
Dear Rhianna,
Unfortunately we found nothing in Jader, no sign of anyone who had sailed on the Demelza. Not even any hint of a rumor about the ship or any of her passengers. It was disappointing, to say the least. I've decided it's time to leave the Waking Sea and begin searching the Amaranthine Ocean.
Since we weren't stopping in Highever, we made a stop in Kirkwall instead, three days ago. Have you ever been there? I'd forgotten what an awful place it is. There are statues carved into the cliffs as you sail into the harbor - two slaves, in chains - gigantic statues taller than the mast of this ship. They're horrible, and more than that there's something about the city that feels . . . wrong. An energy here. I don't know how to explain it, but it was with great relief we sailed away again yesterday.
From here, we're going to have another look around the islands near Hercinia, and then into the Rialto Bay.
Having just received your latest letter, I cannot tell you, Rhianna, how deeply I appreciate the portrait of Anora. It is a very good likeness of her, and incredibly generous of you to have thought of drawing it for me. I have tacked it up in my berth, so I can look at it every morning and night. I think the thing I love best about it is the way it reminds me both of the girl who is pictured as well as the girl who drew it. Two girls who also happen to be two of my favorite people in all the world. Thank you. It is one of the best things anyone has ever given me. It makes me smile every time I look at it.
Better still, as you can see by the date, your letter arrived exactly on the day of my birthday. Which means I am, indeed, having a very good day.
Now, as to the rest of your letter. First things first: Rhianna, I am truly sorry you have become the subject of such slanderous and malicious gossip. If it helps at all, I do know what it is like to be talked about unkindly. Although in my case, more often than not, the things being said were at least partially true. Usually entirely true. I don't expect hearing this will make it hurt any less that people are telling lies about you, but maybe it will help to know you are not alone. And also to know there are people who know the truth, and would never believe such things about you.
You are better than all of them, Rhianna. Please remember this, because it is the truth.
As for Habren, I can't say I am surprised. The girl has shown herself to be both malicious and ridiculously stupid time and time again. Still, this is rather more serious than anything she has done in the past. She is fortunate I am away at sea, or I would have dragged her through the streets and flogged her myself, no matter what anyone else said about it. (And I'm not joking in the slightest).
Even so, I have no doubt you made the right decision. Humiliating her in public would only make her resent you more, and I'm sure that Anora didn't want any scandal attached to her wedding day (not to mention the fact her guards allowed such sabotage to happen unnoticed. That doesn't reflect well on any of us, truth be told). And, knowing Anora, she will find ways of making certain Habren suffers some genuine consequences for what she did. My daughter is capable of being very subtle, yet very effective, at making certain things go her way. And I am certain she will not allow Habren to go unpunished for what she did - both for the threat to Anora herself, but even more so the fact you were so badly injured.
I am glad, for your sake, the mystery is solved. It is always better to know things for certain, rather than wonder and never find out the truth. It still troubles me we never found out who locked you away in the guard tower all those years ago.
I'm sure Aeran would be very happy to see you. I will write to Cauthrien and let her know you are more than welcome to take him out anytime you are in Denerim. I am glad you were able to meet Ser Cauthrien. She is a good person, and an excellent soldier. Don't tell her I said this, but I expect there will be promotions in her future. If she continues on as she has in the past, I can see her leading all of Maric's Shield eventually. Come to think of it, you should spar with her someday. If you can keep out of the way of her sword, you'll know you are truly coming into your own as a warrior. And if you can't keep out of the way . . . well, just make sure you keep out of the way.
Alysanne *strike*Valdric*/strike* Krole actually told you she plans to take a lover? Maker's breath, that's one of the saddest things I've heard in a while. Valudur Krole is a good man, a war hero. He lost his leg fighting with the Rebels. I don't suppose I blame her for not being attracted to him, though. She is very young, and he is old and crotchety (even crotchetier than I am, if that's a real word). But he's not a bad man. Then again, I doubt he married her thinking they would fall in love. It's a shame, though, all the way around.
And now, it appears it is my turn to apologize. I am dreadfully sorry my previous letter offended you. You are right. I underestimated your powers of terror, a mistake I promise never to make again. It is a pity I didn't bring you along with me. We could have called you the "Terror of the High Seas," which sounds very piratical. I think it suits you. Have you ever thought about becoming a pirate? That might be an alternative career to consider, assuming your father does, indeed, leave the teyrnir to Fergus. Just a thought. You are good with a sword, and I think you'd look very dashing in a bandana, and perhaps an eye-patch. A pretend one, that is, as I doubt actually losing an eye would be much fun.
At any rate, please do not stop writing. Receiving your letters cheers me greatly, and watching for one of your messengers gives me something to occupy my mind while out in the middle of the ocean. For my part, as I said, I promise never to doubt your 'skills of terror.' Do we have a bargain?
Yours,
LMT
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14 Drakonis, 9:26 Dragon
Dear Teyrn Loghain,
You're very welcome for the drawing. As you can see, I've enclosed another one, of King Maric. I thought it might be useful when you stop in ports; you can show it to people to ask if they've seen him.
And you're one of my favorite people in all the world, too. In case you didn't already know. (Have I told you that before? Well, it can't hurt for you to hear it again).
Yes, I think we have a bargain. As long as you acknowledge my 'skills of terror,' I am more than happy to continue writing. And I like "The Terror of the High Seas." The possibility of becoming a pirate had never occurred to me before, but I find I am quite sold on the idea. I plan to mention it at dinner tonight, and see what Mother and Father think.
(Ha ha! Can you imagine? If I even joked about such a thing, they'd lock me away in the dungeon. And if they knew it was your idea originally, I'm fairly certain you'd never be allowed in the Coastlands ever again. But I do think I'd make a wonderful pirate. Not a bandana, though. I'd look much more dashing in one of those big hats. And of course an eye patch, but definitely only a fake one).
Thank you for what you said about the gossip, and about Habren. I am trying not to care what anyone else thinks. Other than my family, and you, I don't really care, most of the time, anyway. Occasionally I let things bother me, but then I remember what you wrote, and it does help me feel much better. None of what they're saying is true, and as long as I know that, and the people I care about know it, it can't hurt me. It's just gossip.
I wish you were here right now so I could give you a kiss on the cheek, the way I've done so many times before. You deserve one. So, close your eyes right now, and imagine me doing just that, okay? Placing a kiss right in the middle of your cheek.
There. Did you feel it? I hope so.
Fortunately, for the time being at least, the gossip seems to have blown over, partly because of other things that happened, as you'll see below. At least until the next time Habren decides to come up with some way to try and make me miserable. Thankfully, it will be several months before she'll be back in Denerim and have the opportunity.
So . . . the reason people have forgotten about my desperate love for King Cailan is that something else exciting did happen. I'm really not sure about all the details - I'm not sure anyone is clear on all the details - but just a few weeks into the new year, all of Denerim was scandalized by something to do with Bann Perrin. Apparently, he got horribly drunk, and was found half-naked in the street near the Arl of Redcliffe's estate. (What he was doing there is anyone's guess, as Arl Eamon wasn't even in the city at the time).
Even more interesting, on that same night, the captain of the guard - I think his name is Ames - was also found in the street. Also horribly drunk, on duty, and - I swear I am not making this up - he was wearing nothing but some very inappropriate smallclothes. Again, no one wants to tell me all the details, probably because I'm only thirteen, but apparently they were made of lace, or something, and since Bann Perrin was found without any smalls, everyone is saying the ones Ames was wearing really belonged to Bann Perrin! Which makes the story quite . . . well, ridiculous, really, but I promise you parts of it are true. Or at least I'm reporting faithfully what I heard.
It does seem strange. I don't know Bann Perrin very well, but he never struck me as the sort to run around drunk losing his smallclothes. Then again, people will do all manner of strange things, won't they?
Luckily for me, now Bann Perrin and his "suspect underthings" have been all anyone wants to talk about, so my supposed mad lust for King Cailan has been forgotten. Possibly, Habren being gone is also helping in that regard, as she's not here to remind everyone about it. And while it doesn't really make me happy people are being so mean about Bann Perrin, it is a great relief to be out of the spotlight of the gossips.
Let's see. What other news can I tell you? Nathaniel Howe has been sent away to the Free Marches. I haven't been able to learn the whole story from anyone (Mother and Father refuse to talk about it), but I get the feeling Nathaniel did something that made his father angry, and that's why he was sent away. And now people are saying Thomas will be Arl Howe's heir instead of Nathaniel. Which would be a shame for Amaranthine. Nathaniel is a thousand times better than Thomas. I don't think Thomas would be a very good arl at all.
So, we've been back in Highever for a while (which is the main reason for the delay in answering your last letter. It took longer than usual to get back due to a blizzard that left us stranded at an inn in the Bannorn for more than a week). Then I was busy getting ready for the Festival of Wolves last week. I insisted on playing Haelia again this year, even though Mother wanted me to pass the role on to someone else. I have to admit (to you, anyway; I didn't tell this to anyone else) I was a bit scared, after what happened last year. But I'm tired of being scared of things, and I had my dagger under my dress, and I knew I'd be safe because you and Father and King Maric made sure all of the werewolves were gone.
I was right, and everything was fine. There weren't nearly as many people at the festival this year - I suspect some people stayed away because of what happened last year. But I'm glad I performed again, and Father made sure there were plenty of guards, and everything was fine. I missed seeing your face in the audience, though. I kept looking out in the crowd for you, before I remembered you were floating on the sea somewhere, hundreds of miles away.
Dane asked me to give you his regards. You would hardly recognize him. He's at least twice as big as he was when we were all in Denerim. He snuck into the larder yesterday and Nan screamed so loud you probably heard her out at sea. So now Dane isn't allowed to roam around the castle unless I'm with him. Which is fine, since I'm with him most of the time anyway. He did like to sneak out of the library, though, while I was having lessons with my tutor, but now that will have to stop because of his naughty behavior. So he'll be stuck with me learning history and practicing his Orlesian. You'll be proud of him, though, for not being at all good with Orlesian. He never makes the verbs agree correctly, and his pronunciation is rubbish.
Please find King Maric soon, so both of you can return home. I miss you both so very much.
Love,
Rhianna
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3 Cloudreach, 9:26 Dragon
Dearest Rhianna,
We should arrive in Antiva City on the morrow. It's a big port - the biggest we've been to yet. This gives me hope we will find someone who knows something, someone who saw anything.
I feel as though I owe you an apology. Your letters are so filled with interesting news about Ferelden and details about your life, and mine are dull by comparison. I suppose that's to be expected - my days are mostly filled with nothing but the rocking of the boat across the waves, and the ocean stretching out in every direction. Even so, I feel as though I am benefitting more from our correspondence than you are. Perhaps I will attempt to stir up some trouble in Antiva City, so I will have something interesting to write in my next letter.
The drawing of Maric is brilliant. And yes, it will be very helpful. I plan to show it to everyone I encounter from here on out.
Howe sent Nathaniel to the Free Marches? It is incomprehensible, for Howe to consider making Thomas his heir. Let's hope there is something more to the story. Perhaps Nathaniel is away in service to one of the Marcher lords. It wouldn't be unheard of for him to attain knighthood before taking on the arling. (Unusual, but not unheard of). In any case, I completely agree with your assessment that Thomas would not be a very good arl. Let's hope for Nathaniel's swift return.
And I'm not quite sure what to say about the incident with Bann Perrin, and the guard captain. Whose name is Eams, by the way, and a good man. It is difficult for me to believe he would be drunk on duty. Then again, I would never have expected Bann Perrin to be half-naked outside Redcliffe House, either. All around, it does sound very strange. But I am glad, for your sake, of the diversion. Hopefully the gossips will give up their ridiculous talk about you and Cailan.
I'm proud of you for deciding to perform again at the festival, and I wish I had been there to see you, and cheer you on. I'm not sure I ever told you this (considering all the excitement that happened after your performance), but I thought you were amazing in the reenactment. You have a natural talent for oration - there were a great many people in that crowd (myself included) who would have genuinely followed you into battle that night if you had asked. Had the Custodians timed their attack to happen during the performance, you would have had an army ready to defend you. It was inspirational, and I would love to see you perform again, perhaps next year, if I am back from this voyage. Will you promise to play Haelia again if I am back in time?
Please do not force Dane to learn Orlesian. It's bad enough you know it. I can't bear the thought of the both of you speaking that repulsive language. Do tell Dane, however, that I am proud of his foraging skills. Knowing to go directly to where the food is kept can be a useful skill to have. Just don't tell Nan I said so. And Maker forbid you tell your parents the pirate thing was my idea. I don't want to be banned forever from Highever Castle. That would make things rather inconvenient when I come to visit you.
Yours,
LMT
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Note: A HUGE thank you to my marvelous beta, Psyche Sinclair, as well as to my lovely reviewers: KrystylSky, Arsinoe de Blassenville, WardenVaer, Doom-N-Gloomgal, Milly-finalfantasy, Psyche Sinclair and Graydevilforever.
There is artwork that accompanies this chapter: the portraits of both Anora and Maric, as well as (MAKER FORGIVE ME) a little sketch I did of three of Lady Harriet's cats. In their bonnets. You can find these by following the "Extras" link on my profile.