Hopelily

"I'm going to kill him." I trod along, tailblade dragging and leaving a shallow scratch on the smooth obsidian ground. Exhumor had shown us to the tunnel and left. It was just Sparx and I now. I looked at the seemingly delicate flower-pendant before slipping it around my neck.

Sparx looked at me nervously. "Who?"

I looked at the pitch floor. "The General. I. Am. Going. To. Kill. Him."

Sparx studied his hands. "I don't know what to say…"

But I was already off. "How many families has this war torn to pieces? How many innocents have been murdered? How many lives have been turned to living hell while I've been going around acting like a fucking ass complaining about how horrible my life's become? Me, me, me, I don't have it bad in this war, I could have died as an egg, I could have been at one of those ancestors-forsaken camps, I could have been thrown into all this when I was younger!"

"Cyn, you've cared from the start!" Sparx said, flustered at my language. "You wouldn't have done any of it if you didn't care!"

"Yeah – complaining the whole time, treating the people I meet like crap!"

"Cyn! Calm dow–"

"SHUT UP!" I screeched at him, eyes hard. "Why does it have to be me? I'm not up to this! I can't save the freakin' world! I'm not selfless enough!"

"Sure you are! Cyn, look at what you just did! If she didn't tell you to run, you'd have died with them willingly!" Sparx insisted.

"I should have saved her," I said, angry tears gathering in my yes, fleeing unbidden down my cheeks. "I should have found a way! She was freakin' pregnant! I should have fought for her, I should have…" I trailed off. Even in my mad rage, I knew there had been no other way. If I had focused on fighting that one ape, another would have come along and finished them…

"And another ape would have got to them." Sparx mirrored my inner turmoil. "You did everything you could!"

I kicked a black stone that shot away and bounced off the wall with a satisfying crash. "No, I didn't," I insisted, sobbing, ashamed, broken.

Sparx flew up to me, awkwardly putting a small hand on my shoulder. "Cyn, you did everything you could. It's amazing what you've done this far!"

I shook my head, sobbing, I didn't care how idiotic I looked. "No! I failed to protect her!"

Maybe it was chance, maybe it was some bizarre power of the pendant, but one of my tears fell in the throat of the flower. It flared silver, glowing brighter and brighter. The silver seemed to spread, encasing everything, but it didn't hurt my eyes. A black form began to appear. I felt weightless, slightly dizzy.

"Kaboa?" I asked. "Why are you here?"

"You needed me, young one," she explained gently, draping a cool wing over my shoulders. "Cave-lilies are very akin to spirit gems. But they're older, even older than the ancestors. They connect the past and the future – lovers, parents, children, any who have deep connections to each other. It can lend you strength when you have complete faith in yourself and what you're doing."

"But how can I? How do I know I'm taking the right path? What if I mess up… I try to forget it's the whole freaking world I'm fighting for, but it keeps eating at me! It's going to drive me insane!"

"Cynder, do you know your namesake?" she asked, sighing. "The night you hatched, a spirit came to your parents and bid that your name be Cynder. She told them she was your deceased mother."

My eyes widened. "If you know this…then you know my real mother? Or you said you knew her before, but her ghost or spirit or whatever?"

Kaboa's eyes gained a guarded look. "I think your true mother awaits your return to the swamp. That's what you told me before, isn't it?"

I shifted my weight. "I'm not sure anymore… Nina's my mother, but that doesn't make the one who laid my egg a nonentity, does it? I'm not sure what to think and trying to figure it all out gives me a headache." If nothing else, this was certainly distracting me. That manweersmall had been a true mom; she hadn't hesitated to sacrifice her own life for her kids, and I'd seen no regret in her eyes.

"Your mother died on the day you were born, defending the temple," Kaboa said. "It was the last day your father saw her… She yearns to see him still."

"Wait," I looked at her, "how do you know this much? If you can talk to my mom's spirit, how come she never came to see me?"

"Unlike most spirits, I can reach the living… I suppose you could call it my job. My boss is a bit of a downer, but that's something I can't help…" She winked one green eye at me.

I smiled; I couldn't help it. "Wait… Even after death you still have to go running errands?"

She laughed. "I guess you could say that. I don't mind it. I'm…waiting for something. When it comes to pass, what I've gone through will be worth it."

"Uhh…" I said, confused, "okay?"

"Maybe I'll tell you the rest of it another time, but right now, you have a dragon to save, don't you?"

My eyes widened. "Crap! How long have I been here?"

"Cynder, relax," she reassured, "time passes slowly here. When you return, it'll only have been a few seconds."

I sighed in relief. "That's good… Still, I should probably go…"

Kaboa nodded. "Only one more thing." She reached a paw forward, towards the necklace. "May I see it?"

I glanced at the paw, almost unwilling. I held the flower close, then sighed and handed it over.

The moment the lily touched Kaboa, it began to glow. The frozen metal seemed to rustle in a nonexistent breeze before it started glowing silver again – this time only gently, not the harsh flash that had drawn me here. I blinked, and then it was over. Down at the end of the flower's throat, a tiny emerald shimmered, twinkling almost hypnotically.

Kaboa handed it back to me. The metal was cool and smooth like before, but now something felt different… "What did you do?"

"I wired it to myself. I've always a strong connection with hopelilies. Now, if ever you need me, all you need to do is shatter it. I'll come no matter what, and I'll lend you my strength. But be wary of being sure you need it; it will only work once. It will lend me strength to take physical form."

I looked at it, stroking one silver petal with a foreclaw. "Thank you…"

She smiled tiredly. She seemed weary from the spell. "Always, little cinder of hope. You were named for an ancient dragon saying: 'Hope is the cinder that never goes out.'"

As everything began to fade, I called out, "Kaboa? My mom… Is she a good person?"

A feathery sigh emanated from the mist. "I sincerely hope so…"

I only had time to blink in confusion before I found the heat draped around me like a thick blanket again.

"C'mon, Sparx, let's go. We have a dragon to save." I took a step forward. "Are you with me?"

"Always, sis."