It was December 27th, and just four more days remained until Phil and his family moved away. Phil and Keely had requested that their families spend the majority of Christmas day together, and the families agreed to, so as to allow the two to spend more time in each other's company.
Bonnie walked down the sidewalk with Candida, talking of the night she had spent with Jocelyn and her cousin four nights prior. "They just seemed so… together, you know? They knew what they wanted from life… they really…"
"What did they want from life?"
"Well, I mean, they had really specific goals. Joss said she wanted to know her life had an impact on the world, or at least on some lives… her cousin wanted to write music, to… to have it heard around the world, so people could listen to what she was feeling…"
"What did you want?"
"I said I wanted to be happy…"
"That doesn't make much sense to me… If you want to be happy, if you make happiness a goal you strive for, it's not going to be lasting happiness… You would have been doing whatever it is that makes you happy just for the express purpose of feeling the effect afterwards… Think of it this way: if you said your goal was to climb Mount Everest, at some point in your life, you would be able to ask yourself, 'Did I climb Mount Everest?' And if you said yes, then you would be happy, because you met your goal… but if your goal was to be happy, at some point, you would ask yourself, 'Am I happy?' …But because you had to ask yourself if you were happy, you would automatically know that you weren't, because if you were, you wouldn't have to ask yourself. If you set happiness as a goal, you'll never be happy."
Bonnie blinked. "I never… looked at it that way… I guess it's silly of me to wish to attain the unattainable… there's no point in wishing to go back in time, or something like that… it will never happen…"
"Once you stop living in the past… you can finally start to make your life better…"
"Yeah… just need to make my life better…"
"You believe in an afterlife… just try to live up to the moral standard that's set for you. Set a positive goal…"
"What do you believe in? Do you believe in an afterlife? A God?"
Candida sighed. "I believe that the white light that people sometimes see on the verge of death… that it's all just chemical reactions in the brain while it's shutting down…"
"And you… choose to believe that?"
"There's no conclusive science to it… I just choose what I find comforting. My choice has no practical meaning to my existence…"
"You find it more comforting to believe that nothing comes after this?"
"I just find it more comforting to believe that my whole life isn't just a test for some greater glory."
Bonnie nodded in understanding.