Disclaimer: "I do not own Kingdom Hearts... or the song Built for Sin by 'Framing Hanley."
Kiome-Yasha: " Sorry for the wait guys! D: I'm on deviantart...A LOT. I'm constantly drawing than I am writing these days. But oh my jeebuz! OVER 1000 REVIEWS! Thank you guys so much! I love you! I wish there was something more I could give to you guys besides my deepest gratitude and appreciation for all your support and love for this story. Once again, thank you! And yes, there IS a bit of a time jump, but please bear with it. Also, long chapter is...long~. You guys wanted Roxas, and you got it ;D. Don't worry though, it's not ALL angst. There's actually light-hearted humor ;3."
Chapter 36 Roxas
There was little girl in the small distance. She was holding a blue balloon with her right hand, and a doll in her left arm. It looked like some deformed alien, something he had seen before from his past. He called to her, realizing his voice wasn't working. He grabbed his throat, checking if there was something choking him. There wasn't anything there. Either way, the girl turned around. Her eyes were hard to see from the glare of the sun. All he saw was a sad smile, and before long, tears began to spill over her rosy cheeks.
'No...don't cry...' It's what he wanted to say, trying his best to recover his voice.
She gave him a pleasant smile, wording something to him that he couldn't quite hear. She released the balloon into the air, causing Roxas to gasp in fright, her body already beginning to fade.
'No! Don't leave me!' He shouted mentally in desperation.
She held her plush closely to her chest, 'But you're the one who left me.' She whispered bluntly, "I've always been alone!' She sobbed out bitterly, 'But you never even cared to find me!'
'That's not true! That's not true!' He retorted painfully inside his mind, 'I've always been looking at you...always! I just...never had the chance! You have to believe me!'
He was chasing after her at this point, his feet dashing across the invincible floor. He had his hand stretched out, reaching forward in order to grab her. What he made contact with though, was nothing more than glittering wisp of light. Tears grew at the corner of his eyes, trickling across his face.
He shouted, his hands clenching through the empty space, "Namine!"
Roxas abruptly got up from his bed, embracing the closest object next to him. He heard someone yelp from his sudden outburst, causing him to look up. A pair of blue eyes that almost matched with his stared back at him. Xion was by his bedside, and she couldn't help but to blush from his tight hold on her. He quickly released her, already feeling uncomfortable by the situation. He wiped off the sweat that dripped down his forehead, sighing heavily to himself.
The beauty next to him became crestfallen by his withdrawal, 'Our relationship really has changed. He can't even bare to hold me, not like he wants to with...Namine.' She said sadly to herself, brushing off their embarrassment like it was nothing.
Roxas bit down on his lip, anticipating for her to speak, "Is there something wrong?"
She looked over at his fatigued features, "You were talking in your sleep again." She stated casually, already used to this routine.
"Is that so?" His tone made it sound like it wasn't a big deal.
She breathed through her nostrils, "Roxas, is there something you want to tell me? Lately, you seemed to be more...anxious than usual."
Namine quickly registered inside his mind, urging him to think about the twins growing inside her. He rubbed the back of his head nervously, not knowing how to handle the situation.
'I'm going to be a father.' He felt like a burst of energy was about to erupt from his chest each time he said that.
He couldn't tell if it was a good sensation, or a bad one. How could he? It was almost weeks ago that he found out. This was a whole big step for him in his life. He was already unstable, so what made him suitable enough to even be a parent. But it was Namine. Namine was holding his future children. He just couldn't believe it. It was like a blessing in disguise and a curse. He tried so hard to make things work between the three of them. It was simple. Sora had Namine, and she had Sora. His feelings weren't supposed to get involved. But now look what he did. He caused a rift that seemed too unbreakable to even repair. All he could ever do was screw things up. Even with Xehanort behind bars, what did he even accomplish? He didn't get his revenge. So what else is there left?
'What the hell did I do right?' He mused sarcastically, 'I wanted to make them happy. I wanted to mend my mistakes after Ven's death. That way...Sora could...'
"Roxas...?" Xion broke his train of thoughts, hoping to gain his attention back, "You didn't answer me."
Her voice halted his turmoil mind, "Sorry..."
He had to admit, he was truly grateful to Xion, a true friend to the very end. He scoffed secretly to himself from that comment. Was she really a friend at this point? Could she be something more to him? Well, of course. It would be wrong for him to say that she was anything less. Still, their relationship had a boundary. She wasn't his "light". She was his shadow, a shadow whose purpose was to help him forget about his past. If that's the case, what was Namine?
Sora's voice seemed to taunt him, 'I mean...you love her, don't you?'
'Of course I do! It's just...' He ripped the blankets off his body, "I'm going to take a shower." He simply stated.
"Oh...but..." She noticed how he wanted to avoid the subject, so she dropped it, "Never mind then."
He ignored her, stepping out of his room and making his way towards the bathroom. Xion heard the door close shut from the hallway, placing her hand inside her pocket where the envelope was.
"Roxas..." She whispered softly, "How long are you going to keep running?"
For someone who was living under the same roof as her, he sure as hell was hard to talk to.
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Roxas placed his forehead against the porcelain-tiled wall, allowing the water to drain out the conditioner from his hair. The radio he had installed in the bathroom was loud, pressuring his ears to pump wildly. He could hear the lyrics to the song that was currently playing. There was a connection to the artist's words, reaching into his heart and squeezing it.
There's a train leaving town
If you hurry up, I think you just might make it
Dammit, I hope you make it
Conscience is a faint, unpleasant sound
You've worried enough, but here's your chance so take it
Dammit I hope you take it
A heart attack is sleeping in your chest, waiting until the timing's best
So make a move, while you're still breathing
He clenched his hands against the wall, gritting his teeth angrily. He felt so worthless. Deep down inside, there was a monster that wouldn't let him be free from his chains. No matter how close that light was; he was still kept prisoner to his own darkness. How can anything be simple in this world? If everyone were able to act out on their own feelings, there wouldn't be any complications in this world. But life isn't that simple; there are always consequences. There's always someone waiting to get hurt.
But wasn't he doing the same thing to Namine, the person most precious to him? He closed his eyes and carefully brushed his lips against the moist wall. A brief memory of her skin, smooth like silk, and hot like the burning ache in his chest; the artist who had stolen his heart just by a simple gaze. When he first met her, he thought nothing of her. All he saw was a naïve country girl trying to make a name for herself, Sora's scapegoat in order to forget his feelings for Kairi, a roommate. There were so many things she was to him, but he never thought of falling in love with her. When did he fall in love with her? All he could remember were the little things. The moments that made his heart stretch so uncomfortably, and yet so warmly. Words failed to describe how she made him feel.
Say so long to innocence
From underneath the evidence
You taste like Heaven, but God knows you're built for sin
She slowly snuck her way into his heart without him even realizing it. She was able to recover something he thought he had lost. To be loved. She never judged him, not even once. She was blunt, always speaking out her feelings, unlike him, who always shrouded his emotions. She was real. The most solid thing in his life, and he let her go.
'Let her go?' He actually pondered about that, 'I never even had her in the first place.'
After all, he was the one who confessed. He never even knew how she felt about him. She probably only slept with him to hide her own desperate needs for Sora. He knew she loved him, but did she honestly love him as well? It was a false belief that he wished was true.
Still, he missed her. God did he miss her.
There's a lie, for every truth
If you take these pills, I think you just might make it
Dammit I hope you make it
When you were mine, was I for you
Just one cheap thrill just to help you make it
Dammit I hope you didn't fake it
Hypocrisy has really aged you well
The white on your nose is your secret to tell
So you should speak, while they're still listening
"I need to stop this."He reprimanded aloud, "I can't keep going on like this. I..." He sighed, his shoulders beginning to tremble, "I...I need to see you...!"
Say so long to innocence
From underneath the evidence
You taste like Heaven, but God knows your built for sin
You can scream out loud
But your panic falls on deaf ears
This is where you've brought yourself
And this is what you've always feared
There's a faceless crowd, with no sympathy
So you can scream out loud
But there's no one listening
He shut off the water, drips of liquid falling across his eyelids. He dragged the curtain back, grabbing hold of his towel and wrapping it around his nude waist. He stepped out, drying his feet on top of the carpet.
He couldn't let his day drag on like this.
Say so long to innocence
From underneath the evidence
You taste like Heaven, but God knows your built for sin
He turned off the stereo, deciding to resolve his issues.
If he didn't; then what else was there to live for?
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Roxas grabbed his keys, already making his way out of the apartment. After a refreshing shower and time to think about his feelings a little bit more, he was prepared to do his daily "routines". The psychologist who sat patiently in the living room noticed his retreat. Xion quickly disregarded the book she was reading in the living room and got up from her usual couch chair.
He was about to open the door when she spoke out, "Roxas...!"
The door froze from closing, his back stiff.
She slipped her hand inside her pocket, "I forgot to give this to you. It just came in this morning. It's from...Sora."
His eyes widened for a moment. His name was usually taboo, at least when in front of his presence. He turned around though and walked straight towards her.
He carefully took the letter from her hand, "Thanks."
She asked briskly before he could flee, "Are you going to read it?"
He thought about it, "Maybe."
She frowned from his answer, "I take that as a no."
There was no use dwelling on it, Roxas already made his decision. He made his way back to the door, grabbing the handle and preparing to close it behind him.
Xion took the opportunity to speak, trying to convince him, "Roxas! Please read it when you get the chance!"
She didn't get a reply, the door slamming shut.
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Ever since his "leave" from Kingdom Hearts, Roxas has been working at Axel and Larxene's café. He's been performing his own little shows there, using a spare guitar the two co-workers had given him. It wasn't anything big, but it was enough for him to earn some money and support the rent with Xion. He didn't feel right staying at her place without paying. And as much as she refused his money, he always managed to patch it through her bank account without her knowing. It was one of his daily customs since he moved out.
He looked up at the sunny sky, leaves dancing across the air from the warm gust of wind. It was rare to see New Twilight like this, bringing out a certain beauty to it. It's probably why he found dawn to be his favorite time of the day. It was peaceful and quiet, earning him that solitude he needed to think.
He walked across the street, spotting Larxene from outside the patio in front of the café. She looked frustrated about something, muttering about how Axel was late for work.
The younger blond approached her, hoping he had a passing smile on his face, "Um, hello Larxene."
She swiftly turned around, "You're late!"
He checked his watch, "Um..." He really wasn't, but he decided to humor her, "Sorry about that."
She released an exasperated sigh, "Look, can you just help me open up today? Axel is being a pain in my ass by sleeping in late, again." She huffed impatiently from his lack of response, "Well~?"
Roxas shrugged and quickly agreed, "Um, sure! I'll help."
She was pleased by his answer; though also because Roxas didn't want to argue with her. She unlocked the door for him, allowing him to enter inside. He went over and began to set the chairs down from the tables. This really was supposed to be Axel's job. Sometimes he even wondered how Larxene never even fired him yet. It was a mystery he had yet to unravel.
It wasn't long though until the chime bell to the entrance rang and a voice bellowed happily, "Good morning~!"
Roxas made a face, scowling at the redhead, "Axel, you're late. Larxene has me doing your job again!"
The chef carefully tip-toed his way to the disgruntled blond, "Oh, don't be like that Roku-kun. Or else that broody face of yours will become permanent. Got it memorized? Learn to have a smile on! It's what I always tell Larxene~." He shook his head in shame and spoke, "Too bad those anger management classes won't take her back anymore."
"Axel!" The woman in question shouted from the cashier, "We only have 5 minutes before customers start coming in! Get your ass in the kitchen!"
He saluted with a playful grin, "Anything for you my dear~." He winked at the young Hikari, "Catch you later, Roku-kun. Better get yourself ready for your performance later."
The blond murmured, "Oh yeah."
Axel chuckled and patted the lyrics writer on the shoulder. Roxas went into deep thought at that moment, deciding to go to usual corner to write. He sat down on the high stool, pulling out his traditional notepad and pen.
Just before he could write though, he looked up, "Hey Axel!"
The redhead stopped midway into the kitchen, turning around, "Yeah?"
The young Hikari flushed deeply, making his request, "Can you give me the usual this morning?"
"The Choco Mocha?" The chef added brusquely, "Your favorite?" A smile bloomed across his face.
Roxas tried to contain the heat from his cheeks from exploding to his head, "Yeah..." He stated affectionately with longing.
Axel frowned for a moment from his tone, but declared happily with a smile, "Coming right up!"
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Roxas didn't know how long he was sitting there, drinking mocha after mocha. He probably had about eight empty cups on his table. He felt too inspired to use the bathroom either. He just kept scribbling song after song, trying to gain that missing piece he needed for his melody. It was also late afternoon already, but he didn't care to notice. Either way, his gig wasn't until four, so he wasn't in any kind of rush. It was kind of funny how the band didn't even know about his secret life. He thought he would have seen one of them by now. He guessed he should be grateful about that though.
'Still...I do miss them.' He admitted mentally to himself.
He could hear the rustle of the letter Xion had given him this morning inside his pocket. He ignored the envelope completely, not wanting to waste his time with it quite yet. All it did was cause his mind to think about Sora and Namine. He pushed his blond curls back, sighing heavily.
'Just focus on writing, Roxas.' He chastised anxiously.
The poor distracted poet was startled though when Axel came and sat in front of him, "Want another order of Choco Mocha? Hehe, at this rate though...I think your bladder might explode."
Roxas calmed his racing heart, waving his hand away, "Yeah...sure."
Axel's eyes slanted at the blond, focusing his gaze on his features, "Alright partner, now you listen to me."
Roxas looked up at the redhead and cocked his eyebrow with amusement. He knew something was up, and he knew what was coming.
Larxene's loyal servant lifted his finger, "You need to..." He held his breath, "...Move out of that apartment with that girl you call a "girlfriend" and go back to your real home."
"Not happening." He declared defiantly. He went back to writing, "You tell me this almost everyday. Why would you think today be any different?"
Axel blinked a couple of times, "Well, today is that day. Isn't it?"
The young Hikari gave him a suspicious look, halting his pen from writing.
'What the hell is he getting at?' He questioned almost irritably.
The flamboyant male spoke like it was obvious, "Today's that day...when Namine moved in with you guys."
Roxas sort of choked and gasped at the same time, "What...?"
Axel veered his eyes over at the calendar that was hanging by the cashier, "If I'm not mistaken; it's August 28th."
He pointed towards the direction.
Roxas brought his gaze over at the calendar, finding Axel's words to be true. August 28th, the day Namine moved in with him and Sora; the day when everything changed.
The older male placed his chin on top of his palm, "I swear, ever since that girl came into your lives', things just seemed brighter."
The blond chuckled insincerely, "Brighter? I fail to see that."
Axel inputted his own words of wisdom, "You don't think so? I mean, of course a lot of shit happened. But, that's how life is, isn't it?" He gave a reassuring smile, "It's always the darkest before the dawn, partner. It's just up to you to see if you're ready for that sunset. Remember, red goes the farthest." He pouted his lips in deep thought, "I say you're on orange so far."
He got up from his seat, leaving the young prodigy speechless and stunned.
Axel checked the clock behind the counter, "Hmm, half an hour left before your show." He gathered up the empty glasses on the table, "Maybe it's about time you used that bathroom."
Axel gave the young Hikari a suggestive wink, hoping his words would cause him to ponder a bit from what he said. He strolled his way pass the other tables and back into the kitchen. Roxas remained still where he was though. He gazed down at his right hand, clutching the utensil that was considered a part of him. Ink and words were splattered across the nearly filled page in front of him.
A smile stretched over his face, "I don't think this song is ready yet."
He ripped the page out and folded it, hiding it in the back of his notebook, 'I'll just improvise tonight.'
He got up from his stool, and after careful consideration, took Axel's advice. Once Roxas used the bathroom, he retrieved the guitar that was given to him. Carefully looping the handle around his body, Roxas flicked his fingers across the silvery cords. A certain melody echoed around him, getting him the boost he needed to perform. He stepped up to the stage and sat down. The audience gave him their full attention. It was usually a full house by this time, so he had quite the crowd.
But if there was one person he had to dedicate his song to; it was to the empty seat in the back where he imagined her heart was listening.
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Roxas stepped out of the café, breathing in the smoky air of the city. Tonight's performance was a success. Everyone seemed to love him, even if they didn't recognize his talent from Kingdom Hearts. Then again, no one knew him to be a member from the band anyway. After all, they weren't popular, at least not yet. He had a feeling though that the guys were fine without him. He was nothing more than the lyrics writer after all; who sang a couple of songs. Either way, he didn't want to dwell on it. There was somewhere important he had to be.
Just before he could stalk off towards his destination though, Axel quickly stepped out from the café, "Hey Roxas! You dropped this!"
The blond briskly turned himself around, and was shocked to see the envelope in Axel's hands. He immediately checked his pockets, finding the note to have gone missing sometime when he was playing.
The playful employee grinned, "I figured it was something important since it had your name on it." He passed the letter over to him, "The seal is still shut. I guess you haven't read it yet, huh?"
The young Hikari inspected the slip inside his hands, "Yeah..."
Axel shivered a bit from the summer breeze, "Well, I best be going back to work. You take care of yourself, you hear?"
Roxas quickly snapped back from his reverie, "Um...sure! Thanks a lot, Axel."
The redhead saluted two fingers from his forehead, heading back inside before Larxene could yell at him again. Roxas looked down at the troublesome letter, sensing some sort of higher being was at work here. He smiled wistfully though, tucking the envelope back inside his pocket. He made sure it was secured before walking off again.
Pressing forward through the swarm of people, he kept making sure to check if the letter was still inside his pocket. It was a sense of security for him now, treasuring the object.
He looked up and studied the color of the sky. It was already late in the evening. He wondered if he was too late to make his visit. Still, something kept pressuring him to go forward. He didn't know if was because today was the day Namine moved into their lives; or if it was because of the letter that was currently resting inside his pocket.
'Hell, it could probably because it's Friday.' He commented humorously.
All he knew was that he had to go see her.
He crossed the street, his footsteps almost picking up speed when he turned the next corner. Just there, under the twinkling stars of twilight, was Alantica, and inside, a possible future waiting for him.
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Roxas was pretty skilled in unlocking doors without a key, in other terms, breaking and entering. But call it what you will, it got him inside without being detected. He could only appreciate the design of the place even more for having a back entrance. Sneaking up the stairs and janitors' closet, he carefully stuck his head out to make sure nobody was around. Like he mentioned before, it was Friday, and no one stayed long for work when it was the weekends.
Except, for one person.
Roxas slowly explored the hallways, searching for the large room where he usually found her painting in. He was near his destination, hearing some voices ahead. He turned a certain corner, only to hide quickly. Luckily, he wasn't spotted thanks to his fast reflexes.
Faithful Marluxia was here, and that only meant one thing, trouble. The guy never gives up. All he did was put Namine down when she was alone like this. Roxas gripped his fists tightly, resisting the urge to stomp over there. He even heard that Alantica got a new Director out of nowhere since Xehanort was put behind bars. He would have thought the pink-haired douche-bag would have been fired by now.
Either way, he was helpless. He couldn't do nothing but observe.
"Working late again, Namine? You still trying to prove something behind that weak exterior of yours?" Marluxia questioned cynically.
'Resist the urge to kill, Roxas.' The blond calmly demanded, tension growing in his hands from the veins that appeared.
Despite his cruel words though, Namine remained polite; it almost made Roxas want to run up and kiss her, "No, I just love painting is all. I do plan to leave soon though. You see, I have a special date today."
"Hmph." The sculptor didn't seem impressed, "Is that so? Well then..." His voice snorted, "You wouldn't want to keep your date waiting. Though I'm surprise anyone would want to waste time with you. It's quite sad really..." Roxas didn't know where he was getting at, but he didn't like it, "...Carrying bastard children. To think, you were so close in achieving your dreams of your own studio. Guess wishing on stars really is just for fairytales."
He snidely commented without any source of remorse, causing Roxas to boil. He contained himself though, sighing heavily with anger. Marluxia didn't bother to stay any longer though, thankfully, relieving the pregnant artist from hearing anymore of his insults.
Namine waved and smiled towards his departing form, "Hope you get home safely!" She offered kindly.
Roxas wanted to weep from the scene, clutching his heart painfully, "Namine..."
Her belly swelled so much since he last saw her. She looked about almost three months pregnant now. A part of him just wanted to rush over there and hold her in his arms. He could even die a happy man if he could just cradle her stomach, his children resting peacefully inside her womb. It was something he always imagined doing, but never could.
"You know, you could always go over and say hi~..." A voice suddenly appeared and suggested humorously, almost reading his thoughts.
Roxas jolted back from his position, turning around to discover none other than his brother standing there.
"Sora...!" He exclaimed with disbelief, "How did you...?"
The brunette gave a playful grin, "You know, pretty smart...not using your motorcycle to drive here. Namine would have never known. Too bad for you, I'm your brother and I know you all too well."
The blond scoffed under his breath, "So what now? You going to tell on me?"
He shook his head, "No, of course not. I'm not that childish."
"Why are you here anyway?" Roxas asked gruffly, feeling frustrated on the fact he was caught "stalking".
Sora looked a bit confused, "I usually pick Namine up from work, but I came early today since I'm taking her out for dinner." He frowned and looked the other way, "She's been working really hard lately, and I thought she deserved something nice." He seemed hesitant to speak any further, "You do know what day it is today, don't you?"
Roxas bent his head down, "Of course...I do. It's why you're planning the dinner, right?"
The brunette answered calmly, "Yeah..." He soon became curious, "Roxas...how long have you been doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"Coming here like this. Seeing her." His gaze traveled over to the open gallery where the female artist was completely oblivious towards their conversation, "How long?" He repeated.
Roxas's eyes dimmed, "Ever since you told me she was pregnant."
Sora sighed with distress, closing his eyes momentarily, "I don't understand why you keep beating yourself up like this."
"Maybe it's because I don't deserve happiness." He answered simply.
"Oh come on, Roxas. That's..."
"Look Sora!" He quickly cut him off, choking on his words, "You and Namine are meant for each other, okay?" He slammed a hand to his chest, "This is my life now! This is what I've decided!"
"This isn't going to make you happy!" Sora interjected heatedly.
"What do you know about my happiness anyway?" He argued back, "For all you know, this does make me happy. If I could still see her from afar, that's all I need."
"No, it's not." The brunette boldly stated, "I mean, look at yourself, Roxas."
A defeated smile stretched across the blonde's face, "Exactly, look at me." He wanted to laugh of how pathetic he sounded, "Sora, if there's anyone who should be by her side, it's you, not me. You can't tell me you don't think the same thing?"
The older Hikari clenched his jaw, "Of course I think that. I love her too after all. But..." His face became fierce, "...This isn't how I want to win her heart. So don't give her to me like some sort of prize!"
That actually stung Roxas's heart, causing him to step back. When he did, the letter inside his pocket slipped out. Sora caught notice of the object, catching it from floating down to the floor.
He observed the envelope, "I see you didn't open this yet."
Roxas tried to snatch it back, but Sora managed to pull away in time, "Do you know what's in here?" He questioned solemnly.
He shook his head, "No..."
"It's Dad's will." He declared without faltering.
Roxas's eyes froze without blinking, "What...?"
Sora tapped the letter against his other hand nervously, "Ansem made a confession about his part in the ordeal seventeen years ago. Xehanort and Xigbar are officially sentenced in life of prison, under the crime of conspiracy and murder." He looked down at the envelope, "The whole thing was a fake. Ansem had the real thing the whole damn time." He bit down on his lip, his voice cracking a bit, "To think...all this happened because of this..."
"You...read it?" Roxas asked breathlessly.
Tears fell carelessly on the brunette's long but round cheeks, "Yeah...I read it." He gulped down his tremors, doing his best to compose himself, "It's Dad's last words." He shrugged with a hopeless sob, "After all these year...we finally know the truth."
"But...how?"
"Ansem went back to Destiny Island a few weeks ago. He gave it to Namine before he left. He finally ended it." Sora answered.
"So..." Roxas shook his head, his voice wavering, "...Where does that leave Xemnas?"
"Without his father, he's nothing more than a wash-up. He's in jail too for obvious reasons in working with them. Though he'll be released after ten years."
"And Vanitas?" The blond added hoarsely.
Sora frowned, "I'm not sure..."
"Not sure?" Roxas asked appalled.
The older Hikari tried to explain, "He's our brother, Roxas. And despite everything, I can't just send him off to jail without resolving our family's issue."
"Sora! That bastard killed Ven!" He exclaimed angrily, "He tortured Namine!"
"And you didn't kill Xehanort! Despite what he did!" Sora demanded harshly, "What part of all this makes sense to you?"
The blond knew he had him there, becoming silent since he didn't have an answer.
The older sibling used his hand to rub his forehead, "Look, it doesn't even matter anymore." He passed the letter back to his twin, "You'll find the answer you need in here."
Roxas wanted to shove his hand away, but something inside him took the note back anyway.
Sora looked out a window nearby, "It's late." He announced with a delicate tone, "I have to get Namine so we won't miss our reservation." He looked up at his sibling and continued, "You're welcome to join us if you want."
Roxas blinked a couple of times, "No thanks."
The older sibling nodded, "Right, I understand." He stepped to the side, ending their discussion, "I'll see you around then."
The young Hikari spoke hastily though, "I really am trying, Sora!" He confessed with distress, turning his gaze to the side, "I'm not lying. I really am."
A grin spread across the brunette's face, revealing his dimples with pride, "I know. Besides..." He chuckled lowly, "...You never let me down before."
He tilted his head to the side and continued his way towards the artist. Roxas whipped his head around and stared at the brunette in shock. It wasn't long until his own smile started to show, a sense of relief washing over him.
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Roxas knew it was late by the time he made it back to Xion's duplex. He didn't know what type of lecture he was going to get when he entered the house, but he knew it was probably going to be a long one. The funny thing is though, he felt like he deserved it this time. Xion had sacrificed so much for him; the least he could do was apologize for all the trouble he caused her.
He slowly and quietly opened the door to the apartment, closing and locking it behind him. There was a soft golden light from the living room, reaching to his feet while his body remained in the shadows of the hallway. He looked up and saw Xion fast asleep on the couch, disregarding the book that rested on her slim stomach. Carefully making his way over to her, he walked around the couch and sat down on the floor. The letter that was given to him from Sora was safely tucked inside his pocket. He took it out and held it for a moment, contemplating what he should do.
He looked up and shook Xion's shoulder lightly, "Xion...Xion, wake up." He gently pried with a smile.
Her eyes crinkled from the disturbance, opening them lightly to see.
She turned her head at the blond beside her, "Roxas...?"
He beamed at her, "Hey there, had a good nap?"
She seemed perplexed by his sudden cheerful behavior, "Um...yeah." She studied his expression, "Did something happen today, Roxas? You seem...different from this morning."
He sighed lightly, "You could say something like that. Though honestly, I don't even know myself." His smile decreased a bit, "This whole day has been an eye-opener."
"I see." She patted the seat next to her, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Is this a therapy session?" He chuckled.
She was pleased by the sound of his laughter, "No, it doesn't have to be."
He nodded and got up from the floor, taking her invitation, "To be honest, Xion. I owe you an apology."
"For what?" She asked curiously.
"For everything." He answered, "You've been so good to me, and all I could do was take advantage of you."
She snickered lightly from his words, finding them to be ironic, "Well, our relationship has always been about taking advantages. I wasn't better myself you know. Ever since Riku, I..."
He shook his head, "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to."
She rapidly shook her head, "No... I want you to know." She closed her eyes and explained, "You mean a lot to me Roxas, more than a patient. The reason why I used you the way I did was because, secretly inside, you became someone very important to me." Tears began to flood her eyes, "I just didn't know how to convey my feelings...to you." She wiped her tears away, "I mean, just look at me. I guess I am a failed therapist."
"No, you're not." The young Hikari's face was stern, his voice solid, "Xion...you've been able to give me something I thought I never really had."
"And what's that?" She sniffed.
"A friend." He leaned in closely to her face, pecking her on the cheek, "And I love you for that."
"You...do?" She wasn't entirely convinced.
He nodded and grabbed hold of her hands, "I do."
"Then...I guess I'm okay with that." She smiled happily, "Because, in the end, I don't want to lose you."
He agreed, "I don't want to lose you either. But..."
"I know. Even if she wasn't pregnant." She smiled sweetly, "You still would love her, no matter what." She lightly shoved his shoulders, "If that's the case, why the heck are you still doing here? You idiot!" She exclaimed with disappointment.
He scratched the back of his golden tresses with an uneasy chuckle, "I'm not really sure." He lowered his other hand inside his pocket, "I guess some things I still need to figure out for myself."
Xion's face softened with admiration, "You can do it, Roxas. I know you'll figure it out soon." She suddenly giggled with realization, "When did this discussion become so serious?"
"Haha, I guess I'm to blame for that." He offered comically, "I'm such a nutcase."
Laughter burst inside the room, settling their hearts at ease. It was a nice feeling, being able to joke like this with him. Xion felt like she finally earned a place where she belonged. It may not have been in his heart, but it was to his friendship. And she couldn't ask for anything more. It wasn't long until Roxas slipped the envelope out from his pocket.
The young psychiatrist noticed the slip right away, "You going to open it?"
He was quiet for a moment, his fingers rubbing against the seal, "Yeah...but I want to do it alone."
She nodded in agreement, "I understand." She looked over at the window and spoke once more, " Well, it's really late; so I'll probably head for bed now."
She got up from the couch and headed for bed, Roxas's voice stopping her, "Xion!"
Her gaze focused on his, "Hmm?"
He held a gentle grin, "Thank you."
She returned his smile, "You're welcome."
Roxas watched her go inside her room, closing the door softly behind her. He was now left alone in the living room. Many things processed inside his mind, all leading to the letter that was inside his hands. He looked down and fiddled with the edges. After much contemplation, he ripped the top easily with the blunt edge of his nails. Inside the envelope was one simple line paper, striking his curiosity even more.
"What the...?" For a will, it didn't look much.
Either way, he pushed his hand inside and retrieved it. He unfolded the layers carefully to the letter, recognizing his father's handwriting right away. It was literally what it was, a letter, and more importantly, his last words.
He slowly started to read.
Dear boys,
I have so much I want to say to you three, but I don't know where to start. I've always done my best to be the best father, giving everything I had to make my family happy. But in the end, all I did was create an illusion filled with lies. Ventus, you're the oldest, and I know you'll look after your brothers. I probably won't be here long; my debt at this point may cost me my life. Even so, I still wish to confess my sins. Xehanort, he took me into the business, made me promise to repay him by giving him the company I was able to build. At first, I was willing to do so. But, after you were born Ven, I knew I couldn't allow it. I failed as a father, and I know I don't deserve to live from what I have done. You see, before I met your mother and had you three. I had another family, a son and wife. After I received the life of fame like I always wanted, I abandoned them. And I know what you're probably thinking now. I'm a scum, aren't I? I won't deny it, because I know I am. It wasn't long after that, when I discovered my previous wife had died from cancer. I felt so guilty. I didn't even know what happened to my first son. His name was Vanitas by the way. If you ever meet him, please be sure to accept him into the family. I know it might be hard, but I want to at least give him something. And I know you boys will be able to look after each other. I had a friend who I entrusted to be your guardian, but he recently had passed away. He has a beautiful daughter though. I'm sure someday you'll meet her. She's probably close to Sora and Roxas's age. Somehow, I could imagine one of you falling deeply in love with her. Although, I have a feeling you both might fall for her. I hope you boys will be able to resolve it when that time comes to pass. I'm getting off of topic though, aren't I? Though honestly boys, be careful of Xehanort. He holds many secrets behind the shadows, and I fear that your lives could be in danger. It's why I'm leaving this note to Ansem. He's the only other person I could trust with this. I hope that despite everything, he could help me make amends. That old man has a heart like steel, and I know he'll be stubborn. Still, I know he'll make the right choice.
Ventus, you don't know how proud I am of you. You've grown so much, and I know you'll be able to handle things when I'm gone. You're a brave boy who follows his heart. And I know you'll protect your brothers to the very end. I leave everything to you. Sora, you're boundless source of happiness and smiles amazes me. You must get that from your mother. She too carries a heart made out of gold, forgiving even the darkest of hearts. And even though you and Roxas are twins, you're still the oldest. So even if he loses his way, I know you'll be able to set things right. The light inside you is strong; just don't forget to share it! Roxas, my youngest son, you could be so reckless with your emotions sometimes. However, it's not a bad thing. There's passion in your heart, even when you try to hide it. I know you get scared sometimes, and you tend to act out because of it. But deep down inside, I know you'll become a great man someday. Life is always full of mystery and magic, you'll never know what could happen. You never were one for fairy-tales, but I do hope you'll find your happy ending. Vanitas...I'm truly sorry. What I did to you and your mother was unforgivable. You deserve better, and I'm sorry for leaving you to suffer like you did alone. I love you, all of you. I'm sorry for inflicting so much pain to our family. I wish there was a way I could just fix everything, but I can't. But hopefully, you boys can. No, I know you can. After all, you're my sons. You guys we'll find a way. Remember; carry your dreams close to you, and the people you love even closer.
Love,
Your Worthless Father
Soren Hikari
Roxas's throat suddenly became dry, his mouth gaping while his lips trembled. There was a certain sensation building inside of him. He couldn't describe it. All he knew was that the tears falling on the paper wouldn't stop. The droplets seemed to match with the tears of the previous owner who wrote the letter as well, containing multiple grey spots. Roxas pulled his arm over his eyes, sobbing lightly. After awhile he slowly managed to persuade his tears to stop falling. However, it didn't stop his quivering heart. He convulsed each time he took air into his lungs, breaking his voice from speaking. Roxas pulled his father's letter to his face. He closed his eyes and brought in a heave of air into his nose. Calming down his aching heart from the words left by his father, the young Hikari felt somehow, rejuvenated.
Somewhere deep down inside him was slowly healing. It was as if that empty shell he left behind since his brother's death was finally being restored. Even though that was the case, he still felt like something was missing.
Roxas pulled the note away from his face, catching the sun's rays by the window. He didn't even know he was up for that long. The room started to glow yellow, and then closer to orange. The young Hikari got up from his seat, staring blankly across the room. He cautiously made his way to the window, touching the glass surface. The sun filled New Twilight with warm colors, spreading throughout the city. Roxas's hand was covered in warmth, burning his heart to pulse wildly.
There were many colors in the world, all linking to one light in the sky. And because it's so bright, it makes it hard to see.
'Maybe...it's about time I caught that sunset.' Roxas mused softly.
Before long, the city was consumed by the faint radiance of red, expanding for the ever horizon ahead.
End Chapter
Kiome-Yasha: "Damn Roxas's chapter was long, either way, his chapter is done! He finally gained the answer he needed! Hopefully by what he experienced in this chapter he can now find happiness :3. You know what this means though, Sora is next! :D His chapter shall be interesting. I know some of you RokuNami fans think with Namine and Roxas's chapter that this story might end Roxas/Namine. But keep in mind, Sora's chapter IS next, so I do plan to throw Namora back in the game lol. Once again, I'm flabbergasted over the number of reviews I have received so far for this story. I never expected to go beyond that number...ever! You readers and reviewers have been such a great help with your contribution and lending me your thoughts. Thank you so much for the motivation and support! Here's Namine for thanks!"
Namine: "Kiome-Yasha will like to give awesome thanks to: FanWitch98, Tardcup, Sora017, Nobdy'sMelody, Metallicababy55, xHikarix3, Janus-Juan, Chibixbabe, xLycheeRAiN, MemoryxKeeper, Fantasy Obsession, Spellbound AKA Soragirl4ever, Allers3, Hearts in the Twilight, Maxeyn, Hoboruler456, R Vienna, Transitions End, Raniza, kawaiigurl93, 53007, Starseeker358, Nami the Writer, Shinyitalianguy, DeocyteMaster, IcyDruid, Lady Yuna, Dracula-key, Daisy of Sarasaland, Rosekun25, ComicalxMysterious, Black Mage Jr-KHwarrior, Dragonflies87, The Story Will Continue, and special thanks to meeeee for being the 1000th reviewer! =D We hope that's everyone! Thank you all for the reviews! :D"
Kiome-Yasha: Even though meeeee made it to be my 1000th reviewer, I consider everyone as my 1000th reviewer. Now to reply to some people who I couldn't :)."
Tardcup: I already explained why they're celebrating from youtube XD. But thanks for reading and reviewing! X3
Chibixbabe: Thank you so much for the congratulations! I wonder what your favorite chapters are lol. Thank you so much for the compliments and the support! They really mean a lot to me! Thanks for reading and reviewing Chibi! X3
Hearts in the Twilight: School and finals are more important than reviewing, so don't worry about it lol XD. I hope this chapter with Roxas made you happy, because I know I've been leaving him out of the action. I hope you'll come to enjoy Sora's chapter next. Thanks for reading and reviewing Hearts! X3
Nami the Writer: Haha, I don't think anyone has flamed. So don't worry about it. Thanks for reading and reviewing Nami! X3
Lady Yuna: Sora is a bad boy, he can be sexy when he wants to be ;D. Thanks for reading and reviewing! X3
Meeeee: Congrats on being the 1000th reviewer! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :D Thanks for reading and reviewing! X3
ComicalxMysterious: Glad you were able to catch up to the story! :D I found Hayner and Namine's scene together precious as well :3. Thanks for reading and reviewing Comical! X3
Kiome-Yasha: Well everyone, we got EIGHT chapters left! Coming up next shall be Sora's story! 8D"