Hello, my lovelies. I know it's been a while since I updated, but I had a lot to take care of for school. This is my senior year, which means I have to start thinking about college and what I want to do after high school. So, for the past month, I've been working on my résumé, college essay, and everything else my school threw my way. It hasn't been easy, so I could only write a little bit here and there. But alas, the chapter is finally complete and the schedule should be returning back to normal soon. Thanks for all the love. Enjoy the chapter!
P.S. Just in case this past month made you worry about my commitment to this story, let me reassure you. I will never abandon this story. If it's taking me a while to update, trust that I'm working hard to fit writing this story into my schedule. Patience is all I'm asking for. And if you have questions, don't be afraid to PM me. I'll try my best to message you back.
Disclaimer: All TMI characters belong to Cassandra Clare :)
Chapter Songs:
**Barely Alive by The Jompson Brothers (Scene 1, pt. 1)
**Nightingale by Demi Lovato (Scene 1, pt. 2)
**Skinny Love by Birdy (Scene 2)
**Keeping Your Head Up by Birdy (Scene 3)
**Oil & Water by Lee DyWyze (Scene 4)
"So, that's it? She's just . . . gone?"
Jace nodded, still staring blankly at his bedroom ceiling. After getting home, the only thing he wanted to do was lie in bed and cope. It was the complete opposite of what Clary wanted for him, but at least he'd called Jon and Jordan for help. He needed someone to talk to, and they were the only people who'd understand his pain.
Jordan cursed, something he rarely did. "How did this happen, man?"
Jace ran his hands over his face. "The Agency found out that we were together. There's some rule against getting involved with a client and she broke it to be with me. Tie in the fact that she wanted everyone to know who she really was and it was pretty much a done deal. All of it pretty much blew up in our faces and now she's gone." His chest clenched in pain. "And for two years? What in the hell am I supposed to do without her for two years?"
Jon shrugged. "Live," he said, as if it was that easy. "It's what she'd want you to do, it's what she'd want all of us to do. I hate that we couldn't protect her from this, but I know my sister. She's strong. She'll walk out of this with her head held high and as fiery as ever. Things like this only build her up, not knock her down."
"You honestly think she'll be okay out there?" Jace asked.
"Maybe not at first, but once she gets out of her head, she'll be alright."
"No offense," Jordan said, addressing Jon. "But how are you so calm about all this?"
Clary's brother shrugged again and removed a pocket knife from the inside of his jeans. Then he began twirling it around his fingers, reminding Jace so much of Clary. "I've heard about isolation. As much as I really dislike that judge, she really did give Clary the least harsh punishment. Isolation is for Agents only. They take you to some nice place; a loft, a beach house, a cabin, and pretty much keep you there for however long your sentence is. It's not like your everyday prison with guards yelling out orders and having a bunch of people in your personal space. She'll just have one person looking out for her and making sure that she doesn't leave, which no Agent has ever been stupid enough to do. It's kind of like a vacation, I guess, but forced."
"She won't be able to contact any of us," he told them. "They took her phone away and I'm sure the cabin doesn't have one. It'll take a toll on her, not talking to anyone."
"It might, but trust that she'll find a way to move past it." He tucked the knife back into his jeans and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Besides, the silence will only make it that much better when she gets back."
Jordan shifted in Jace's desk chair. "Isn't that guy Luke working on getting her out?"
Jace sighed. "Yeah, but it's going to take a while. Maybe even the entire time she's there."
"This is all mess," Jordan grumbled. "How are we going to explain this to everyone?"
"I don't even know," Jace admitted.
Jon ran a hand through his hair. "Well, it can't be the truth. The CEO will be keeping a close eye on you guys for a while. It'll be too much of risk to tell your friends now and I'm not letting my sister get more time in that place because we thought we were in the clear."
"Great. More lies."
"Well, you did punch the guy in the face and put his men in the hospital," Jon added. "Of course he'll be watching you. Normal people shouldn't be able to take down Agency guards like that."
Jace scoffed. "Like they could've stopped me."
"We need to come up with something quick," Jordan said seriously. "Everyone's been wondering why you and Clary haven't been at school lately. If we don't tell them something soon, Isabelle is going to round everyone up and ambush this place."
"Crap, I completely forgot about school." He sighed. "At this point, I'm going to have to ace the finals if I want to make up for all the days I've missed."
"You'll be fine," Jordan assured him. "You're a genius, after all."
He shrugged. "I guess."
Jon sighed and turned to Jordan. "Look, just tell your friends that there was a family emergency back in Connecticut and her parents came back to get her."
"How are we supposed to explain the fact that she can't contact any of us?" Jace asked.
"Just say that her father's really strict and forbade you two from seeing each other anymore."
"Seems convincing enough," Jordan offered. "Even though lying to them is going to suck."
Jon ran his hands over his face. "We have to protect her."
Jace nodded. "He's right. There's no way I'm going to risk her getting more time than she already has."
Jordan seemed to understand. And even though he'd never said it out loud, Jace knew that he loved Clary too. She was his best friend, after all.
"Alright," he finally said. "We'll roll with that story for now."
Jon stood and stared down at him. "It's getting late, dude, and you've barely slept all week. Take the rest of the week off from school and rest up, mourn, do whatever you have to do. But next week, you're going to get your ass up, dust yourself off, and get on with your life. If you don't escape this depression faze soon, it'll get worse and worse. So find a way to get out of it and don't forget that we're here for you."
"Yeah," Jordan agreed. "Don't ever feel like you're alone in this. We'll be like the Three Musketeers or something. You know, always there for each other."
Jon nodded. "What he said."
"Thanks," Jace answered, still looking at his ceiling. "Knowing that you two have my back means a lot."
Jon lightly kicked his calf, which was hanging off the edge of the bed. "Just get some rest, man. We'll catch up with you tomorrow."
"Okay."
Jordan followed Jon to the door, but before they left, he turned back to Jace. "See you later, dude."
A lump formed in his throat and his voice took on a hoarse tone. "See you later," he forced himself to say. God, repeating those words was harder than he thought it'd be.
When they left, he finally released the breath he was holding. He'd been in his room, in this same position for hours just thinking about her. It was already dark, but he had no energy to move. He imagined that Clary was still on the road, since Maine was about eight hours away. Hopefully his jacket was keeping her warm and somewhat comfortable. Maybe she was imagining that the jacket was his arms, holding her against him and keeping her safe. He wanted to be there to do those things, and knowing that he couldn't was torture. The day wasn't even over yet and he missed her like crazy. How was he supposed to do this every day for two years?
Then he remembered their conversation earlier, how he'd asked what his lifeline would be. She'd said there was something for him in her sketchbook.
Knowing that whatever it was could get him out of this rut, he removed himself from his bed and quietly strolled across the hall to her room. He took in a breath before he turned the knob and let himself inside. It was hard being surrounded by all of her things, but he didn't let that unnerve him as he searched. After a minute, he saw a flash of gold under her bed and bent down, retrieving the sketchbook he'd bought her all those months ago. She'd been so happy to get all those art supplies. Just thinking about her 'kid in a candy store' expression made his lips twitch.
With the sketchbook in hand, he made his way back into his room, not sure how long he'd be able to stay in Clary's room without doing something drastic, like smelling her sheets.
Once he was back in his bed, he sat back against the headboard and flipped the sketchbook open. He had no idea if the sketchbook itself was what Clary wanted to give him or if she had left some kind of special note hidden inside. So, for the next fifteen minutes, he sifted through the pages, looking at drawing after drawing. She was so incredibly talented, and if she decided to continue with her dream to open up an art studio when she got back, he'd support her all the way. With her skills, she had a lot to teach.
Jace felt a smile coming on as he flipped through the drawings of him. She'd once called him her muse, the person who inspired her to be an artist again. She gave him a lot of credit, but honestly, it was all her. She was so much stronger than she thought she was.
As he reached the end of the book, he felt a pang in his chest, knowing that this was the end. But as he flipped to the next page, he saw that the last few pages were empty and had a small rectangle cut out in the center. Furrowing his brows, he turned to the very last page and was surprised to find a USB flash drive taped to the back. Underneath it was his name written in an elegant cursive.
Curiosity spiked his interest and within seconds, he had the flash drive in his hand, his gaze gliding over the room in search of his laptop. Once he found it, he snatched it off his dresser, plopped back onto the bed and shoved the flash drive into one of the ports. He bounced his leg impatiently as it loaded up, wanting so badly to see what it was that she left him. Was it a letter? A secret message? Something to do with the Agency?
A second later, he got his answer after the file popped up. Double clicking on it, he found that it only had one folder with one document. It was labeled 'PLAY ME', and as confused as he was, he clicked on it anyway and sat back as the video loaded.
He almost gasped aloud once Clary's smiling face appeared on his large screen. Looking more closely, he saw that the video was shot in their bedroom back at the penthouse. Clary was lying diagonally on the bed, perched up on her elbows. And even though she recorded it with the camera on her computer, he could see everything crystal clear. He could even make out the small spattering of freckles dusting over her nose. God, he loved those freckles.
Tucking her hair behind her ear, Clary looked into the camera. "Hey there, Herondale." She sighed. "If you're watching this, it means that something's happened to me. While I have no idea what that something is, I'm going to make this video anyway. And if nothing has happened to me, stop this video now and put the flash drive back where you got it from, asshole."
Jace shook his head in amusement. As of now, he had no idea where this video was going, but he'd watch until the end if it meant seeing her beautiful face and hearing her soft voice.
"Okay, that should be enough time for you to make the right decision," she said after a moment. "I've been thinking about making this video for a while now and I finally found the courage to do it. You're the most important person in my life and I need to make sure you know that, just in case things don't work out for us in the end. If there's anything I know about life, it's that nothing is guaranteed. And if something happens to me, I don't want there to be any loose ends. I want you to know exactly how I feel about you."
There was a shuffle somewhere else in the room and suddenly the doors to the bedroom opened and he came into view, dressed in a simple pair of gray sweatpants slung low on his hips. Clary turned away from the camera to look at him, a wide smile breaking out across her face as he climbed onto the bed behind her. His legs straddled her hips, his chest brushing against her back. Reaching out, he brushed her hair over one shoulder and pressed his lips to the curve of her neck.
She tilted her head a little, giving him more access. "Hey, babe. You feeling okay?"
"I always feel great when you're around." He looked up, finally noticing the camera. "What's this? Planning on seducing me into a sex tape or something?"
Clary's cheeks turned red. "No, jackass. I'm making a video, which you so rudely interrupted."
"Hmmm." In a flash, he had her flipped onto her back, staring up at him. "Is it important?" he asked, peppering kisses along her jaw.
She nodded, her fingers gliding into his hair. "It is actually. Can you give me, like, ten minutes?"
"Sure." He kissed the tip of her nose. "I'll be up in the gym if you need me."
"Okay, thanks," she whispered.
Before he left, he slipped his hands under his white t-shirt, which she'd worn to sleep the night before, and grasped her bare hips. Staring down at her, with her hair sprawled out across the white sheets, he murmured, "You're beautiful, you know that?"
She giggled. "Yes, you tell me everyday."
He pulled her closer and leaned down until their foreheads were pressed together. "A beautiful woman should be told when she looks beautiful. It just so happens that you always look that way."
"You're so sweet," she whispered.
He just shook his head and grinned. "Get back to your video," he said, releasing her hips. "We'll finish this later."
"Wait." She stopped him by wrapping her bare legs around his waist, making him groan. "Kiss me first."
For a moment he just looked at her, but then a smirk slowly tugged at his lips and he grasped her face in his hands. Leaning down, he claimed her mouth with his own, giving her what she wanted. Her hands traveled down his chest and over his abs, soon landing on his upper-back. The kiss was heated, like most times their lips came together, but it ended before either of them could take it any further. When they parted, he let go of her face and she unwrapped her arms and legs from around him.
He then rose to his knees, his hungry eyes raking over her. "Are you sure it's important?"
She giggled again. "Yes, I'm sure. I'll see you in ten minutes," she promised.
Nodding, he lifted her hand and kissed the center of her palm before getting up. "I'll be waiting."
Once the doors closed again, Clary flipped back onto her stomach and blushed as she looked into the camera once again. "You know, I would cut that part out, but even though you act like a complete idiot sometimes, you always find a way to make me laugh or smile. You have such a big heart, Jace—one that you don't give yourself enough credit for. That's one thing I love most about you."
Jace actually smiled at that. "Ditto," he whispered, lazily tracing the outline of the computer screen.
"Okay, enough about that. Let's talk about us." She ran a hand through her silky waves. "Jace, from the moment I met you, I knew that you were going to be trouble. I'd gotten the assignment a week or two before and here I was thinking 'great, my first mission out in the field is babysitting some jock' but boy did you prove me wrong." A blush adorned her cheeks again. "I never told you this, but when you opened the door that afternoon, you took my breath away, Jace. I don't know how to explain it, but whenever I was around you, I felt like there was this unseen force drawing us together. I fought that force for so long, scared that if I opened myself up to you and gave you a piece of myself that you'd crush it and never look back, but then I saw the way you looked at me. The way you watched me when you thought no one else was looking, the way you held me like I was a piece of glass, and the words you said . . . it was all so much."
She shifted a little, a small smile tugging at her lips. "I guess you claimed me that day in the park twelve years ago, because once we came back together, that was all I wanted to be. Yours." She glanced away for a second, clearly trying not to get upset. "Now, I'm no expert on fate, but I know that the way your lips feel on mine is nothing short of perfection. I know that when I look at you, I see my future, I see a man that I'm willing to spend the rest of my life with."
Jace held his breath, not knowing that the video would be getting this serious.
"But if something does get in the way of our life together," she said. "Here's how I want you to remember me: I want you to remember me snuggled into your side late at night while you kiss the top of my head and make me feel safe. I want you to remember me slowly falling in love with you and feeling too nervous to tell you, so I show you instead. Remember me breaking down in your arms after a harsh nightmare, only to fall back into a peaceful sleep after you sing to me." A few tears visibly welled in her eyes as she continued. "Remember me whispering those three little words against your lips as we made love. Remember all of the times you called me beautiful and made me smile. Remember how special you made me feel." She sniffed. "But most importantly, I want you to remember me happy. If this is it, don't think about how we ended. Think about how we began. That's how you'll get through this, Jace. As long as you cherish those memories, you'll be alright."
She let out a shaky breath. "God, this is getting hard. I never thought I'd be with someone like you, but look where we are now. I care about you more than anyone else in the world, and even though things went wrong in the end, I'll never regret my time spent with you. I believe that a love like ours was written somewhere in the stars, destined from the very beginning." Her nose scrunched. "I know that sounds corny, but it's what I feel, and I told myself when I made this video that I wouldn't hold back. So you're just going to have to deal with that little tidbit."
Jace chuckled a little, surprising himself. Shifting onto his stomach, he placed the laptop in front of him and stared at the screen. He remembered her making the video, not knowing exactly what it was about. All he knew was that when it was over, she'd rushed upstairs to the gym and hurled herself into his arms, asking him to hold her. He could tell that she'd been upset about something, but he'd kept his mouth shut and simply did as she asked. He always would. That day had been pretty intense, and now he knew why.
Her emeralds glistened over. "There's so much more I want to say, but I can't because it'll make me cry and you know I hate crying. So I'll leave you with this: sometimes life doesn't deal you a good hand. Sometimes things don't go exactly how you wanted them to and you're stuck with this feeling of being paralyzed. But when you feel that way, you have to just snatch that deck out of life's hands and reshuffle it to your advantage. Become the overseer of your own future, of your own fate. And when you feel alone, just play this video and know that I'm here for you." She tucked her hair behind her ear. "I never told you this, but in the process of us falling in love, you saved me. But now it's time for you to save yourself. So, find a way to get back on your feet—find that sunshine in the rain—and just . . . live."
Reaching up, she wiped her tears away, a supportive smile tugging at her lips. "Promise, Jace?"
His chest clenched at her words, knowing that he'd keep them buried deep within his heart as he went on without her. When she was with him, the world made sense, but now, it just felt like he'd been thrown out into the void without any guidance. But this video . . . he could work with it. Maybe it'd be his lifeline after all.
Releasing a sigh, he leaned forward and rested his head against the screen. And even though she couldn't hear him, he spoke the words anyway.
"Cross my heart."
.o.O.o.
Ten hours later, Clary awoke to the sound of beeping. Peeking her eyes open, she saw that they were at a gate and the driver was punching in a code to get in. She couldn't help but memorize the code, knowing that she'd never even think about escaping and using it. There was no escaping the Agency. If she went on the run, she'd have to stay on the run, and she'd never put her family and friends through that.
Once the gate opened, the driver looked back at her through the plexiglass before turning to face the road once again. With her lack of cuffs, he'd been checking on her a lot during the trip. It was smart of him, considering she could've gotten out of the car if she wanted to. She was the daughter of an assassin and an Agent, after all. On the way there, Clary figured out ten different ways that she'd be able to escape. But instead of acting on those thoughts, she simply wrapped Jace's jacket tighter around her and drifted off, trying but mostly failing to get some sleep.
Moments later, the car came to a stop in front of a large cabin. It looked like something a family of five would rent during the holidays. The view was actually quite nice, and if she was able to get a pencil and some paper one day, she wouldn't mind drawing it. But she doubted she'd get the chance. The place may have looked nice, but this would be far from a retreat. She was sure it'd be like a glorified prison on the inside. Either way, she was prepared to do anything if it meant getting back to Jace.
The driver knocked on the plexiglass. "Hey, you alive back there?"
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm alive, Jeffrey."
"How do you know my name?"
God, he was such an amateur. "I'm a very observant person, Jeffrey. I can see your name tag from the rearview mirror and I'm going to guess from the tan line around your ring finger that you're also recently divorced." She leaned forward, peering through the glass. "How are you coping with that, if you don't mind me asking?"
Instead of answering, he threw the door open and grumbled, "Agents."
Shrugging, Clary sat back in her seat and waited for him to open her door. When he did, he immediately reached inside to grab her with one of his grubby hands. She frowned, not liking that he was getting his sweaty palms all over Jace's jacket, but she ignored it as he led her up the lit driveway. It was early, the sun just starting to peek out over the horizon. The drive had been longer than she'd expected, considering all the traffic and food stops the driver made. Right about now, she was just hoping that this place had a decent bed.
Once they reached the front door, Jeffrey lifted his free hand and pounded his fist on the door four solid times.
While they waited, Clary took in her surroundings, noting the polished wood of the cabin, how large and modern it was, the calming sounds of the nearby lake. "This is a nice place," she said.
Jeffrey laughed without humor. "The place may be nice, but that's about it."
Before she could ask him to elaborate, the door to the cabin swung open, revealing a blue eyed, middle-aged woman in a white blouse and a black pencil skirt. Her long brown hair was pulled back into a professional-looking ponytail, not a single hair out of place. With her heels, she was several inches taller than Clary, but the look on her face was what really did it. She had the same look on her face as Judge Hawthorne—as if she was pissed at the mere sight of her.
"Is this her?" she asked Jeffrey, her tone cold and calculating. Clary also noted her British accent, which made her feel like a kid in boarding school being berated by the principal.
Nodding, the driver handed the woman a folder stuffed with papers. "Yes, ma'am. Clarissa Morgenstern."
The woman scanned the first piece of paper inside the folder for confirmation, flipping it shut afterwards. Then she lifted her hand and dismissed the driver with a flick of her wrist. "I'll take it from here. Leave us."
Jeffrey finally released her arm and turned away, muttering something as he did. It wasn't clear, but she could've sworn he said "Good luck."
The driver didn't waste any time returning to his vehicle and peeling out of the gravel driveway. Feeling a little taken aback by the woman's stern demeanor, she shifted from foot to foot, waiting for her to say something.
The woman eyed her for a moment before sticking her hand out, giving her's a firm shake. "Maxine Thomas. I will be your designated guardian until further notice." She tucked the folder under her arm. "Now, I understand that you may have questions, but they'll have to wait." Turning on her heel, she motioned for her to follow. "Come on, I'll show you to your room."
Clary's gaze went skyward. Just her luck that this woman would have the disposition of a drill sergeant. With a sigh, she stepped into the cabin, shutting the door behind her. The inside was just as nice as the outside. The open floor plan allowed her to see everything from the beautiful fireplace at one end of the room, the homey living space, the small dining room table, all the way to the large kitchen area. Everything was so modern and up to date that if it weren't for the place being covered in polished wood, she would've thought that this was a typical upper-class home. But she didn't get much time to explore because Maxine was currently leading her up a flight of stairs.
Once they reached the top, Maxine pointed to the first door they approached. "This is my room. You are not to open that door without my consent. It will be locked most days while I'm gone, but I know how you Agents are with picking those."
Clary furrowed her brows. "What do you mean it'll be locked while you're gone? Aren't you supposed to stay here with me?"
Maxine turned to look at her over her shoulder. "I do have a life outside of this, Clarissa. I work at a wealth management firm five days a week."
"I don't understand." She glanced around. "Not to dig my own hole, here, but shouldn't you be making sure that I don't attempt to escape or something?"
Maxine shrugged. "You could escape if you wanted to, but honestly, where would you go? We'd find you, of course, but you won't be brought back here. You'll lose every ounce of your freedom and I'm sure you have family you'd like to return to after this. If you want to ensure that you'll never see them again, then be my guest, run away."
Clary clicked her tongue. "Touché."
The older woman didn't respond and continued to stroll down the hallway. Her fancy clothes made Clary feel uncomfortable in her gray t-shirt, skinny jeans, and white chucks.
"This is your room," Maxine said, stopping at the door at the end of the hall. Pushing it open, she led Clary inside the large room, flicking the light on as she did. "You have one queen-sized bed, a couch, and an en-suite. You'll be expected to keep the place clean, including the rest of the cabin. I may be your guardian, but I am not your maid."
She took in the room. "When will I be able to get some clothes? And maybe some other necessities?"
"I've already gone out and gotten everything you may need for your stay here. They gave me your measurements over the phone, so the clothes should fit. Feel free to shower, get some rest, or eat. Just don't leave the cabin for any reason. Am I clear?"
Clary furrowed her brows. "So, I'm free to do whatever I want as long as I don't leave?"
"Well, there are some rules, but we'll discuss those later. I have work to get to." She turned back towards the door. "I'm usually back around four or five o'clock, depending on the day."
She shrugged off Jace's jacket, placing it on the bed. Then she turned back toward her guardian and grinned, refusing to show how much she was hurting on the inside. "I'll be here."
Maxine didn't acknowledge her joke, just simply waved her hand—which Clary guessed was her way of saying goodbye—and left the room. She shut the door quietly behind her, finally leaving Clary alone.
With a sigh, she fell back onto the bed, surprised that it was actually quite comfortable—definitely better than the beds at the Agency's Penitentiary. But there was one thing missing that would make her feel completely at peace. It was exactly what made her reach for her locket and flip it open. A picture of her and Jace immediately popped up. His hands were holding her face, her's were wrapped around his wrists as he pressed his lips to her forehead. She stared at the image for a moment, wondering what Jace was doing back in Brooklyn, hoping that he'd found her sketchbook.
His biggest fear was losing her. He'd expressed that so many times over the past seven months, but there was a part of her that knew she couldn't guarantee he wouldn't. Anything was possible, and if something were to happen—which it did—she didn't want to leave him with nothing. He needed to know how much she loved him, he needed to know that she wouldn't take back all of the time they'd spent together. But most importantly, he needed to know that he could live without her. It might not have been easy, but it was possible.
All in all, their separation could either do one of two things. It could tear them apart or bring them even closer together. All she could do was hope for the latter.
.o.O.o.
Hours passed as Clary sat, curled up on one corner of the couch, her eyes glued to the television. It was just some trashy reality TV show—one that'd she'd probably be forcing Jace to watch if they were together right now. The shows bored the hell out of him, but he watched them anyway because he knew it put a smile on her face. That was part of the reason why their relationship was so successful. They compromised for each other. She didn't exactly like watching sports, but she sat through every game he wanted to watch because she knew he loved sports.
With a sigh, Clary wrapped his jacket tighter around her torso and tried her best to relax. She'd already gotten cleaned up and dressed. The clothes fit perfectly, but she couldn't part with Jace's jacket just yet. It was the only thing keeping her from breaking down the doors and making a run for it. It was a reminder that she had something to go home to. He was there, waiting for her, and she couldn't let him down.
Moments later, the front door opened with her guardian's arrival. She could hear the clack of her heels as she entered the living space. Turning off the TV, Clary removed herself from the couch and made her way over to Maxine, who was now rifling through the fridge. After a moment, she pulled out a water bottle and took a couple swigs. Then her eyes drifted over to Clary, her gaze calculating.
"Did you find everything satisfactory?"
Sighing, Clary leaned forward and rested her elbows on the island between them. "I guess. Is it usually this quiet around here?"
"You'll get used to it," she said.
Nodding, Clary reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "Before you left, you said something about rules?"
"Ah, yes. I have them written down somewhere." Turning around, she opened multiple cabinets before finally pulling out a laminated piece of paper. Then she handed it over to Clary and stood back. "There are five main rules. One: no leaving the premises for any reason. Two: you are responsible for keeping the cabin clean, i.e. washing dishes or sweeping the floors. Three: there will be weekly inspections to ensure that you're doing what is asked of you. Four: lights out is at ten o'clock on the dot, no later. Five: lastly, if you do not abide by these rules, you will be thoroughly punished."
Clary put the paper down and shrugged. "Sounds reasonable."
Taking another sip of water, Maxine asked, "Any questions?"
"Yeah. I'm actually an artist, believe it or not." She cleared her throat. "And I was wondering if I could get some paper and a few pencils for sketching? I'd actually prefer to do that instead of watch TV all day."
Her guardian looked uninterested. "You only get necessities while you're here, Clarissa. Art is a luxury."
"And the TV isn't?" she asked incredulously.
Maxine reached up to rub her temple as if she were getting a headache. "I'm not here to make this experience enjoyable for you, I'm here to make sure that you don't do anything stupid. There are no special favors."
Clary eyed her. "You're pretty stubborn, Maxine, you know that?" The older woman opened her mouth to respond, but she cut her off. "But you know what? I can handle stubborn. I come from a family of very stubborn people. You can think what you want about me, but I have a knack for wearing people down. I have a feeling that we're going to get along just fine."
Maxine rolled her eyes. "Aren't all teenagers considered artists these days? What makes you think I want to waste my bloody time helping you with this?"
"Because I'm not just some teenager trying to be artsy," she said. "Art is something I plan on doing for a career. If I wasn't in isolation right now, I'd be on my way to college to get a degree for it."
She clicked her tongue. "Then why don't you prove me wrong?"
Clary furrowed her brows. "What?"
"Wait here." Turning on her heel, Maxine left the room and returned moments later with a few pieces of paper and a pencil. Setting it on the island, she took a seat across from her and smoothed her hands down the length of her skirt.
Taking the items, she gave the woman a questioning look. "What do you want me to draw?"
Her guardian leaned forward. "Me."
Clary eyed her for a moment, her head tilted to the side. Climbing onto a stool, she examined the woman's features, noticing how sharp and angled they were. Everything was just a little too . . . perfect. Letting out a breath, she tapped the eraser of the pencil against her lips. "Okay, I'll do it, but I'm going to need you to take out that hair tie and roll up your sleeves first."
Maxine quirked a brow and leaned back. "Excuse me?"
"I'm just not interested in drawing the business side of you," she explained. "I like drawing people as they are, no façades."
"Is this a rule of yours?" she asked.
"Actually, it is." Images of Jace flooded her mind. He was like her personal model when it came to sketching. But he'd always try to fix himself up for their drawing sessions by adjusting his hair or putting on a backwards cap or even taking off his shirt. And as much as she loved that body of his, she preferred to sketch him in his natural state. Without his signature smirk or the perfectly styled hair. Perfection in art was nonexistent, and in most cases, undesirable.
Maxine eyed her skeptically for a moment, her expression still cold and stiff. It was obvious that she really needed to lighten up. With a sigh, she lifted her hand and tentatively removed the hair tie. Her hair immediately tumbled over her shoulders and down her back. Then she rolled the sleeves of her white button down up to her elbows, creating a completely different image.
Clary grinned. "Much better." Maybe doing this would get her on the woman's good side—that's if she had one. So far, she'd only gotten the privilege of seeing the authoritative side, but Clary knew how to get her to drop the act.
Putting her pencil to the piece of paper, she began drawing an outline of her face. "So, Maxine, how long have you been a perfectionist?"
Her guardian looked a little taken aback. Clearing her throat, she asked, "What makes you think I'm a perfectionist?"
"Because I used to be one and I know what it looks like." She kept her gaze on the paper, making subtle glances here and there. "I see it in the way you constantly adjust your clothes to make sure there isn't a wrinkle or crease in sight. The way you tie your ponytail without a hair out of place. The way you walk, the way you talk. Honestly, it's just your overall demeanor."
"My demeanor? By that do you mean professional?"
She shook her head. "There's a difference. Like I said, I used to be just like you. Takes one to know one, right?"
Maxine tucked her hair behind her ear, getting some of it out of her face. "You've known me for less than a day, might I remind you."
Clary shrugged. "I'm very observant; it's part of who I am. Besides, there isn't much to do around here." She continued to draw, adding more detail as she went. "You see, I've spent a majority of my life in a shell. I've been through a lot—things that no one my age should ever go through—and I figured that if I couldn't control what happened around me, I could at least control myself. So I closed myself off, tossed away all my emotions and feelings. I threw myself into training, trying to be the best. Perfect." She met her guardian's gaze. "But here's the thing about perfectionists: they're constantly disappointed, because there's no such thing as perfect. It doesn't matter how much time you spend on your hair or picking out the best outfit, or how much you close yourself off emotionally, the world is still going to be just as messed up as it has always been."
She was sure that Maxine would end their drawing session after that comment, but the woman simply cocked her head to the side as if she wasn't expecting Clary to be so wise.
"What changed your mind?" she asked.
Clary furrowed her brows. "What do you mean?"
Maxine glanced down at her hands. "You said you used to be a perfectionist. What made things different?"
"My boyfriend," she said truthfully.
Her guardian snorted. "You mean the boy you got sent here for?"
Clary held back a snide remark, reminding herself that she was trying to get on this woman's good side. "Yes, his name is Jace," she said, happy to be talking about him. "We met about seven months ago when my mission with the Herondales started. The beginning was like a wild roller coaster of us denying our feelings for each other and constantly arguing over it. I wanted to be with him, but I was just like you are now. So afraid of actually feeling something that I turned into this cold, distant, stubborn person." She looked up from her drawing. "It actually took a near death experience for me to finally realize that living my life like some emotionless robot wasn't the way to go. It took almost losing him to realize I wanted more for myself."
"So your relationship is serious?" she asked, looking genuinely curious.
Clary shrugged. "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't. I almost died trying to protect him and look where that got me." She sighed, her gaze returning to the paper. "But everything will work out. I'll do my time here and then we'll pick up where we left off."
Maxine observed her for a second. "Do you honestly think he'll wait for you?"
"I trust him." Reaching up, she tucked her hair behind her ear so she could see the drawing better. "We've been through alot together and I don't think he'll be stupid enough to throw it all away for a one time thing with someone else. Besides, I see the way he looks at me, I know he loves me. What more can I ask of him?"
Her guardian cocked her head to the side. "I've never had someone so comfortable in their situation."
"What kind of people do you normally get?"
"Agents gone rogue." Her face scrunched up with distaste before she relaxed it again. "Most of them went out of their minds the first few nights. They'd yell and scream at me, begging me to let them go. They swore that they didn't belong here, but these were people that didn't follow the rules. An Agent is not allowed to go on unsanctioned missions or kill people in cold blood just because of their badge. That's why they were sent here to cool off and realize their mistakes."
Clary furrowed her brows. "But those are some pretty high offenses. Why weren't they locked up?"
"They were all young, like you. Their judges saw room for improvement and figured that this was the best place for them. Some changed, some didn't. I guess it depends on the person. There's one thing they all had in common, though."
"And what's that?"
"They hated my guts."
Clary held a hand over her heart, feigning shock. "Really? I can't imagine why."
Maxine narrowed her eyes. "I'm not interested in becoming mates with Agents. I'm here to serve one purpose, and that is to be your guardian."
She smiled. "But here's the thing, Maxine, everyone needs a friend." She turned the paper a little, putting more detail into her eyes. "I know you assume everyone who comes here hates you, and that's part of the reason why you're so hard on us, but this time is different. I don't hate you. I actually think that if we got to know each other a little more, we'd find that we had some things in common."
Another skeptical look. "Are you taking the piss?"
Clary laughed. "No, I'm serious. We're going to be seeing a lot of each other for the next couple of years, so why not make it somewhat enjoyable?"
Maxine's eyes widened. "You actually want to be mates?"
She snorted. "You're acting as if you've never had a friend before."
"I've had friends," she said. "I've just never been friends with an Agent, at least not one your age."
"Well, there's a first for everything, right?" Seeing her guardian's hesitant expression, she sighed. "Look, I'm not saying that we have to paint each other's nails or giggle over gossip magazines—I'm not that kind of girl and I'm sure you aren't either. I'm just saying that you don't have to act like a drill sergeant around me. I know the rules and I'm not stupid enough to break them because I know what I have waiting for me back home. So how about we start with a clean slate and forget about these last few hours?"
Maxine simply stared at her for a moment before finally letting her face relax. "Okay," she breathed.
"Okay?"
"Yes. We can be civilized toward each other, but that doesn't make me any less of a guardian to you. Don't think that you'll be able to pull one over on me because of this."
Clary rolled her eyes. "Don't be such a pessimist, Maxine. You have to at least know by now that I'm not like the others. I'm here because I fell in love, not because I killed someone I wasn't supposed to."
Maxine pursed her lips. "You're a strange one, Clarissa Morgenstern."
"Call me Clary." Finishing up the final details of the drawing, she stuck her hand out. "So, do we have a deal?"
Her guardian tentatively lifted her hand, shaking it with hers. "We do."
Clary smiled. "Great." Placing the pencil back on the island, she turned the picture around and pushed it towards her.
Maxine's eyes widened as she picked it up, getting a closer look. "Oh, my. This is . . . beautiful." She blushed and reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear again. "Is this really what I look like?"
Clary laughed softly. "When you're not trying to be a perfectionist, yes." Cocking her head to the side, she leaned forward. "You should let loose a little more often. The look suits you."
Her guardian actually smiled at that. "You may be onto something." She glanced up at her. "I think I misjudged you, Miss Morgenstern."
She shrugged. "Happens all the time. But I think you'll get used to my ways soon enough."
"Do you miss him?" Maxine asked, setting the drawing down.
The abrupt question threw Clary off, causing her hand to drift up to her locket. "Why do you ask?"
The older woman looked down at her hands. "Just curious."
Letting out a shaky breath, she tightened her grip on her locket and nodded. "I miss him more than I can put into words," she said. And it was true. She missed his stupid, egotistical jokes, his forehead kisses, the way he made sure to remind her that she was beautiful every single day, the way he grasped her face in his large hands right before he kissed her and held her in his arms like he wanted to protect her from the world. She missed it all, and it would be a while before she got used to living without those things.
Maxine nodded. "I understand." Her gaze met hers and by the expression she was giving her, it looked as though she actually did understand.
Clary didn't ask why, just simply nodded back. Releasing her locket, she tucked her hands into the pockets of Jace's jacket and stood. "I should head up," she said, looking outside to see that it was getting dark. "I haven't been getting much sleep lately and I think a decent night could go a long way."
Maxine stood also. "Oh, of course." Grabbing the drawing, she glanced at it again and held it close, a small smile working onto her face. "Thanks again for the sketch."
Clary was still surprised that she was able to put a smile on her guardian's face. She'd almost thought that she was incapable of showing a positive emotion. But baby steps, right?
"It wasn't a problem, really. Art is something I just love to do." Moving her hair over one shoulder, she turned to leave the room. "Goodnight, Maxine."
She was halfway down the hall when she heard the older woman respond. "Goodnight, Clary."
Clary noted that she used her preferred name, another step towards them being somewhat civilized. Once she reached her room, she stepped inside, quickly closing the door behind her. Leaning her head back against the door, she bit back another wave of longing, trying to relax herself enough to sleep.
Tugging off Jace's jacket, she placed it on her bed and made her way to the bathroom to carry out her usual nighttime routine. It felt odd without Jace by her side, bumping her hip with his own as they brushed their teeth and washed their faces. And after she stripped down to her underwear, instead of having Jace there to remove his shirt and tug it over her head, she simply put his jacket back on and climbed into bed.
As she lied on her back, staring up at the ceiling, she wondered if he was doing the same. She really hoped the video helped him realize that he could do this. Two years was a long time, but she'd take two years of them being apart if it got them forever in return. But one thing was for sure: the minute she got back, there would be no more putting life on hold. She didn't care how young she was, she wanted the world and more with him and she knew without a doubt that he wanted it too.
Turning onto her side, Clary pulled his jacket tightly around her naked torso, breathing in his scent. And with thoughts of him consuming her mind, like a blanket of comfort and warmth, she allowed herself to drift off to sleep, not knowing that when she woke up the next morning, there'd be a box of brand new art supplies sitting outside of her door.
.o.O.o.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
Sighing, Jace reached up to take his keys out of the ignition. "Yeah, let's go." Opening his door, he stepped out, tucking his keys into his pocket.
Jordan followed suit and moved to stand beside him, giving him a supportive clap on the back. "Hey, if you can't go through with it, I'll be happy to do all the talking."
He shook his head. "No, we rehearsed this enough. I can do it."
"Alright," Jordan dropped his hand. "Come on. Everyone's waiting."
Taki's was as warm and welcoming as ever that afternoon, but he felt nothing but wound up. All of his friends were sitting at their usual table, the girls looking nervous, the guys just confused. The emergency meeting he called was pretty abrupt, but he had some of the most loyal friends on the planet, so it wasn't a surprise to see that they'd dropped everything to show up.
As soon as he reached the table, Isabelle scooted over, allowing him to sit down beside her. Jordan sat across from him next to Maia and immediately reached out to grab her hand.
Alec spoke up first, surprising him. "So, what's this all about?"
"Yeah," Aline lifted her chin. "And where's Clary?"
Jace raked a hand through his hair. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you guys about." He met all of their eyes from his spot in the booth before dropping his own to his lap. "Clary's gone."
Isabelle gasped, while everyone else's eyes widened. "What do you mean she's gone? What happened?"
He continued to stare at his lap, knowing that he was about to lie through his teeth. "Her parents came back from their vacation. The trip took a little longer than expected and I guess they wanted to surprise her, but neither of us were expecting them to show up at my house, especially not without calling first." He finally picked up his head, but he didn't look any of them in the eyes, afraid that they'd call him out for his bogus story. "Her father caught us in bed together and made this huge scene. He just freaked out, saying that he didn't allow Clary to stay there just so I could take advantage of her. He and my mother got into this big fight about her betraying his trust, and before I knew it, he was forcing Clary to pack up her things. He even forbade us from ever contacting each other again."
"He can't do that," Alec said.
"Well, as long as he's paying for her college tuition, he can do whatever he wants. She can't pay it on her own and I won't let her sacrifice something like that for me." He leaned forward and put his head in his hands. "I don't know—that whole day was pretty much a blur. All I know is that one minute she was in my arms and the next she was gone. I've tried calling, but I guess her father switched off her phone, and her brother isn't returning my calls either. There's nothing I can do to change things. She's just . . . gone."
"Oh, Jace." Reaching out, Isabelle wrapped her hand around the back of his neck, allowing him to rest his head on her shoulder. Her perfume was somewhat overwhelming—nothing like Clary's subtle vanilla and strawberry scent. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.
He simply nodded. The story may have been fake, but the pain he felt was so real that it coiled tight around his chest, squeezing all of the air out of his lungs.
"Is there anything we can do?" asked Maia.
He shook his head. "I guess we just have to find a way to move past it."
"What about Clary?"
Jace sighed and lifted his head. "If we're really meant to be, we'll find our way back to each other. I have no problem with waiting for her if that's what it takes." He looked down at his hands again. "She's it for me."
Aline furrowed her brows. "You're honestly going to wait years until she finishes school? Without any contact? I mean, what if she—you know . . . finds someone else?"
"Aline!" Isabelle scolded.
"No, it's okay," Jace said, knowing that what she was suggesting wasn't even a possibility. "I know what you're thinking, but it's not really something I'm worried about. I trust her more than anyone. Besides, I'm pretty sure I've ruined her for anyone else."
Magnus snorted. "You're saying that as if you've marked your territory on her or something."
Jace actually grinned at that. "I treated her like a queen. Trust me, no guy is ever going to match up to that."
"You seem very sure of yourself," Simon added, causing Isabelle to elbow him in the side.
"I know what she and I have. If anything, this will only make our relationship stronger." He leaned back into the booth. "I'm just going to miss her like hell."
"We know you will, man." Jordan looked around the booth. "But we're all here for you, okay? You're never going to be alone."
"Yeah." Isabelle grabbed his hand. "If you ever need to talk about it, I'm just a phone call away."
He kissed her cheek. "Thanks, Izzy."
Maia leaned into Jordan. "We'll all miss her, Jace. But if you think she'll come back, then I guess all we can do is wait."
"She's coming back," Magnus said with conviction. "That crazy redhead is ours now."
He let out a sad chuckle. "Damn right she is."
Isabelle reached up and wiped away her tears. Jace knew that she'd be the one to get emotional, but like Clary, she really hated crying. Sniffing, she tucked her hair behind her ear and shook her head. "Alright, enough sad talk. How about we all order some cake. My treat."
They all nodded in agreement and minutes later, the table was covered in plates of coconut cream cake. Digging into his slice, he listened as Isabelle brought up a funny story that involved Clary on karaoke night. The entire table burst into fits of laughter as Isabelle, Aline, and Maia reenacted Clary's performance of Emotions by Mariah Carey. His girl had the voice of an angel, but her dance moves and high note attempts were all too hilarious.
Just thinking about that night made him feel so much better about everything, especially with his friends there to laugh with him. And that's when he realized that he was doing exactly what Clary wanted. She wanted him to be happy, to allow their friends to lift him up when he was down in the dumps. There was a reason why he had them in his life and he refused to push them away because of this. Clary would kill him if she found out he even thought about it.
So, instead of spending yet another day staring at his ceiling, he decided to get off of his ass and do something about his state of mind. He just had to remind himself that it was all for her.
After finishing up their cake and chatting for a little while longer, they all decided to call it a day. As he slid out of the booth, Isabelle sent him another sad glance before running up to him and wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I'm here for you, Jace. Never forget that, okay?" She squeezed him tight. "You're my best friend and I love you."
Jace wrapped one of his arms around her and grinned. Isabelle was like a sister to him and hearing her say that meant a lot to him. "Love you, too, Izzy." Looking up, he saw that his friends were watching them with a solemn expression. Rolling his eyes, he held out both of his arms and motioned them toward him. "Come on. Get in here."
One by one, they all crowded around him, forming one huge group hug. People were probably staring at them now, but he didn't care. This was his family, the people he knew would have his back through thick and thin.
Feeling something strange, Jace lifted his head and furrowed his brows. "Why's there a hand on my ass?"
Alec groaned. "Magnus . . ."
"Sorry." His blue lips tipped up at one corner as he raised his hand to his back once again.
Jace just shook his head and grinned, bringing himself closer to his friends.
"Yeah, everything's going to be just fine."
What did you think?
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A/N: Such a depressing chapter, I know, but I promise it'll get better soon. Maxine seems to already have a soft spot for Clary, and Jace has his friends to lean on—and don't forget about Luke. Maybe he'll come to the rescue after all. Who knows, you'll just have to keep reading to find out. But for now, I know you guys have been itching for another question to answer, so here you go,
Chapter question: What color are your eyes? Mine are light brown :)