So good news, I'm sick.

Can you hear the sarcasm in my voice?

Yeah, I'm not feeling to great at the moment. Hopefully I'll still be able to get in a bit of writing, though. I have fallen a little behind of where I'd like to be.

Anyway, enjoy the chapter. Also, spoiler warning for Lords of the Sith. You have been warned. (I also totally recommend the book, by the way!)

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN: MONSTERS AND MISTAKES

Lila charged through the forest, her breath short, her body aching and covered with sweat. She jumped over rocks, climbed up creepers, pushed through streams, and slid between tree trunks, all while maintaining a connection with the Force, the mysterious energy that she felt rushing through her body with every heartbeat. It not only gave her the strength to keep running, but it was also leading her somewhere, to a place where she had been told Anakin would be waiting for her.

Just as she began to feel that her body might give out, she sensed the Force's call that had been drawing her to this strange new place intensify. She followed it and soon found herself bursting out of the brush into a clearing.

There was very little wind, leaving the putrid odor of the swamp to simmer in the still air. The flat ground was ringed with swamp weeds and the splintered stumps of trees that now lay on the ground as logs.

On top of one of these logs sat Anakin. As soon as he saw her, he rushed over. "You made it!" he said, and she could sense his pride as he did. Yet there was something else…

She could feel the Force's connection with her being to fade, and she took a moment to catch her breath before answering. "Yeah," she panted, leaning down and supporting her herself on her knees.

She heard footsteps and saw Luke walking in her direction. "Good to see you," he greeted, but for some reason he looked concerned and Lila didn't quite understand why.

Then she felt it. A seemingly endless darkness coming from a cave on the edge of the clearing. It surrounded her, piecing into her, making her feel as though her body had been buried in a glacier. She shuddered from cold that didn't exist. Even though it was just a cave, Lila recoiled in fear, as if the thing itself was a living monster. Except it wasn't living. It was far, far too disturbing for that.

Luke spoke again. "You sense it, too?"

Lila nodded. "I feel cold. It's like…" she tried to find the right words to descried the darkness.

"Death," Luke breathed.

It was the perfect word, and it did nothing to ease Lila's tension. The muscles in her shoulders clenched as if some massive weight were attached to them. She could feel her lekku grow tight, too, and she took a few steps back from that terrifying place. The darkness almost seemed to evoke a memory so fuzzy in her mind it seemed like a dream. When she was three, something had come to Ryloth. Something that was so dark that it seemed to her like the sun had disappeared from the sky.

Then Lila heard a grunt, and she and Luke turned to see Master Yoda getting up from the log he had been resting on. "That place," he said, gesturing to the cave with his cane, "is strong with the dark side of the Force."

Now Lila felt a prick of dread at Yoda's words. The dark side? This was something so little talked about, so why bring it up now?

She struggled to control her fears.

"In you must go."

What? Luke wanted to cry. He stopped himself, but he couldn't hold back an unsure look which he shared with Lila. However, he trusted the Jedi Master, and he knew there must be a reason for this.

But before he could enter the cave, he felt his father's hand on his should. Luke looked up at him, searching his blue eyes that mirrored his own, and he could feel how conflicted Anakin was. In the silence between father and son, Luke could sense that there was much that Anakin wanted to say to him. However, all he did was gather his son in his mechanical arms and whisper, "Be safe."

"I will," Luke promised. Yet he couldn't help but to feel that it might not be a promise he could keep.

Then Anakin turned to Lila and said the same. She nodded and forced a smile, before turning back to the cave.

Then Yoda walked up to them and gestured towards the cave decisively.

As Luke walked into the gaping mouth of the darkness, he was suddenly wishing for a lightsaber.

The cave was dark, cold, and smelled strongly of decay. Lila was just glad that Luke was there with her. She turned to him and tried to smile. "So, why do you think Yoda sent us in here?"

Luke shrugged and gave her an equally failing smile. "Don't know," he said. "I guess he just wanted to test us or something."

"Yeah," Lila answered, not making eye contact. Instead she stared at the soggy ground beneath her boots, waiting for a response.

But he didn't respond. He said nothing at all. "Luke?" she said, looking up at last from the ground, only to find that Luke was no where to be found.

"Luke!" she cried. "Luke where are you!"

She was still left without an answer. Completely alone.

Just like all those years on Veritas.

"Lila!" Luke called, though he knew it was in vain. Still, how could anyone just disappear like that? One minute he was talking with her, the next she was gone, and it was extremely unnerving. The stars knew what was in the cave. Did something take her? Would it come for him next?

Luke was suddenly aware of his ragged breath and his heart pounding in his chest. He forced himself to relax. He was over reacting. He was fine. He was going to be fine. He'd promised his father he would be safe, didn't he?

This wasn't helping. The best thing he could do was keep going. Into this endless darkness that seemed all the more terrifying alone.

Six years was a very long time. A very long time to be alone. Never would she forget those long nights all by herself. Without Sharr. Without anyone. Just her. Believing there would be no way out. The only thing that kept her going was a promise to her brother.

She met Darek Yandi, the young and cocky freighter pilot. They became friends. At least Lila had someone. Yet she had never told him about her pain.

Then, Luke and Leia came. Then Anakin. People. Good people that where with her all the time. They helped her escape that hell, and she began to trust Anakin like she hadn't trusted anyone besides Sharr. Yet she'd still told him nothing of all those years of torture.

And now Lila was alone again. Just like she was when her mother disappeared, her father died, and her brother killed and every day after. Just as she was whenever Darek had left her.

She would never see her friends again. She would lay here and waste for all of eternity. Alone. She was alone.

"No," she whispered, "I'm not." She had her life. She had herself. She had friends, just outside this cave. She wouldn't let herself be owned by some stupid ditch. "Never stop going," she recited.

As she spoke the words she felt herself drift into the endless currents of the Force. She tossed her lekku triumphantly, squared her shoulders and kept walking, and as she did she saw something shining through the creepers that surrounded her.

Her way out.

She made her way to the threshold and was about to leave the cave when she heard a familiar voice murmur her name.

She turned to see a glowing figure with dark green skin and lavender eyes smiling lovingly at her. "Good job, sis," said Sharr.

She nodded and smiled back before leaving the cave. Emerging into a world of light, she came face to face with Yoda, who smiled warmly at her.

"Made it, you did."

Luke had no idea how long he had been in the cave, but it felt like hours. Hours of nothing but wondering through darkness with no end in sight. Every so often a strange creature would cry and it would make him jump, he would see a shadowing move and he would think it was something else, or a twig would snap underneath his foot and he'd think someone was following him.

But he knew that was just his imagination. It was just a cave. A cave strong with the dark side of the Force. A cave he could very easily get lost in (if he wasn't already) and shatter his promise to his father.

He tried to shake his head clear of these thoughts, but it only redirected his mind to an even scarier place.

His father wasn't worried about him getting lost. If he was really worried about that he could simply follow Luke's presence. No, his fears were much deeper than that.

After all he'd been through, he was afraid of his son making the same mistakes he had.

Luke kept on going through a suffocating darkness until he came to something that most certainly was not of natural origin. It was a triangle shaped metal door way that led to a similar corridor, and if Luke thought he had sensed darkness before than he did not want to know what is was that he was feeling now.

All of a sudden, he heard footsteps, and this time he was certain they were not his own.

Then a figure dressed in a black cloak emerged from the passageway. He couldn't see their face, as the hood they were wearing cast it in heavy shadows. His heart pounded as he tried to make out something of their appearance, to no avail. He reached out with the Force to try and sense something, anything, but still nothing.

"Who are you!" Luke screamed.

His response was chilling laughter in a terrifyingly familiar voice. The figure pulled back his hood with his gloved hands, and Luke wished had never seen what lay underneath.

"You," answered something like a shattered reflection, his yellow eyes glowing.

Luke's heart was pulsing so hard he was frightened it might burst. That couldn't be him. He would never go to the dark side. He'd already seen what that had done to his father, after all.

Then the reflection smiled a twisted, twisted smile. "Yet here I am."

Luke began to shake, and he felt as cold as feverish chills. "H-how did you know I—"

The reflection eyed him eagerly, as if he were some predator sizing up its prey. "We are one in the same after all."

"No, we're not!" Luke screamed.

Luke's own distorted image raised an eye brow, his smirk growing. "Aren't we?" he asked, now grinning. "How could you resist the power that you'll be given? You'll have everything you could desire—"

"Stop it!"

"Free from the controlling nature of the light." His reflection raised a clenched fist. A suffocating energy washed over him like a tsunami, and the surrounding roots the creepers crumbled and imploded. "The galaxy will be yours to rule, and the Force itself will bow down to your sheer will!"

"No! I don't want that!"

"Don't you? Oh, come on, not even a little?" His grin widened. "Yes, you do. I should know, shouldn't I?" He took a step towards Luke and he backed away. The reflection cackled. "It will be great! You'll see!" He cackled again. "You'll see!"

"No!"

And then the reflection vanished into the air as if it had turned to steam. The last thing Luke saw of it was a dreadful, knowing smile.

Anakin paced across the clearing. "How long has he been in there?" he asked. Too long, he answered for himself. Lila had gone through the cave so quickly, so what was taking Luke so long? Had something happened to him? Anakin couldn't bare the thought of what that something might be.

Lila rolled her eyes. How could she be so calm? "Anakin, he'll be fine," she said with a confident smile. Anakin couldn't help wondering if it was over confidence.

"Maybe I should go in after him." He stared at the entrance to cave. He wanted to stay as far away from the darkness as he could, but if it meant saving Luke from it he was well worth the risk.

But Yoda shook his head. "In your son, Skywalker, have faith."

Anakin sighed and sat down on a log, his face greeted by his cold hands as it fell. Then he sat up and relaxed his body. Closing his eyes, he let himself fade into the Force. He reached out for the cave, but he couldn't get passed the darkness that blocked his view like a cloud of smoke.

He opened his eyes and shook his head. "I'm going in there." He didn't wait for Lila or Yoda to argue. He got to his feet and headed into the cave.

Instantly, he was surrounded by a darkness he had hoped to never feel again. He acknowledged bitterly that he had been a part of this darkness some short months ago, and it made him hate himself even more because of it.

Then all of sudden he heard someone crying out. Fearing the worst, he ran off deep into the cave, after the noise. It definitely sounded like this person was in pain, something Anakin had hoped he would never have to see his son go through.

But when he finally found the source of the noise, he realized that it wasn't Luke after all. Instead, Anakin found himself staring at a figure wearing a brown cloak, not unlike his own. They were on the ground, their legs pulled to their chest, and small whimpers escaped them as their body shook.

Whoever this person was, they must have been in this cave for a long time for Yoda not to have known, and if this person were in here for so long, there was no telling how long a sentence—

No. He shouldn't think about that right now. Hadn't he promised that, as a Jedi, he would help others? He kneeled to the cloaked figure's level. "Are you—?"

And then the figure reared their head, their hood falling back, revealing the face of a young man with wavy, dirty blond hair that grew down to his shoulders. He had sky-blue eyes, over one of which was a thin scar. "Get away from me!" the figure screeched, tears leaking out of the corners of his horrifyingly familiar eyes. "Can't you see you've already done enough to me?"

No. This wasn't possible. He got to his feet and began to back away. "Who are you?" Anakin asked in a voice nearly identical to that of the figure.

The figure ignored him. "How could you?" he asked. "I could've been happy!" Then he turned his eerily familiar gaze into a glare. "But now look at what's left of me."

Anakin's breath became ragged. He clenched his mechanical fists and squeezed his burnt eyes closed. What was left of him? Certainly not much. Probably most of his body had been replaced by cybernetic counter parts and what was left of him was severely disfigured. "I-I'm sorry," Anakin whispered, subconsciously pulling up his own hood over his scarred and bald head.

"How could you!" the younger version of himself screamed.

"I'm sorry!"

But then the Anakin Skywalker he had destroyed was gone. Replaced by another, perhaps more terrifying, vision.

"Anakin."

No.

He didn't turn around to face the person behind him. He couldn't. There was no way he could bare to cause her any more pain than he knew he already had.

"Anakin, why did you do it?" the Tagruta said. "I thought you where a better person than that." He heard the gravel beneath her feet shift. She was backing away from him. Ahsoka was afraid of him. "I thought I knew you better than that."

He wanted to say something, but he knew the sound of his voice would only make things worse.

"You promised me you wouldn't let me die. You promised me you wouldn't let anyone hurt me. So why did you do it? Why did you kill me?"

"No!" Anakin screamed, falling to his knees.

But his torture wasn't over yet.

"Ani, I loved you."

"No…" he moaned. "Please no." His voice shook and a hot waterfall of unshed tears coated his eyes. He wanted to hide from her. He didn't want her, above all others, to see what had become of the man she'd loved.

"Ani, why?"

"I'm sorry…" How could he ever explain himself? "I'm sorry." She wouldn't believe him. "I'm sorry." The words could never be enough.

Then suddenly his son was throwing his arms around him, and Anakin's tears were running down his scarred cheeks.

"Luke," he whimpered, holding on tight to his son, "I'm sorry. I'm a failure and a mess. You deserve so much more than—"

"I don't care what I deserve," Luke whispered. "All I could ever want is you."

Anakin cried even harder at Luke's words. He certainly didn't deserve a son who loved him as much as Luke did.

"Father?"

"Yeah," Anakin rasped.

"Let's get out of here."

Anakin and Luke stood up and where about to start making their way out of that horrible, horrible place, when a sound stopped them. It was a sound that had haunted Anakin dreams for the past months. A sound that he had never wanted to hear again. A sound that suffocated him with the darkest of his memories.

It was the sound of Darth Vader's respirator.

And then, from shadows, came its source.

Anakin didn't move, and his eyes glazed over as his mind was once again forced to bear that unending torture. Images again flashed before his eyes. Obi-Wan disappearing as he was killed, then Ahsoka too. Factory workers on the planet Riosa, slaves in all but name, and then one of them choking in his inhuman grasp. A young Twi'lek on Ryloth, the first person to treat him like a human since he had become Vader, dying by his blade.

And his twisted breathing in his burnt ears throughout all of it.

"NO!" His body became as stiff as metal, and he wrapped his arms around his deformed head, trying to block out that horrible noise.

But it didn't leave him alone. It would never leave him alone, so long as he was forced to live in that way. The noise of his own, unnatural breathing grew so loud in his mind that it seemed to block out all logical thought.

From somewhere beyond the sound, someone was saying something, but he couldn't make out their words.

Slowly, a pain began to spread through him like fire to the point that it became unbearable. He was hardly aware of his body hitting the ground as he felt himself becoming once again incased in the metal prison that left him barely human. He tried to fill his lungs with air, but they were gone, replaced one again with the insanely painful respirator.

"Not again…" he rasped, but he could hardly speak, and what words he could get out where distorted and mechanical.

He sat there, imprisoned, in pain, scarcely alive, and certainly not human until finally the shock became too much for him and he fell unconscious.

Yay... fun times.

As always, please review, the support always gives me a wonderful warm feeling!

May the Force be with you.

-CWN