Chapter 35

Ashley's POV


Love. An emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.. Hatred. A deep and emotional extreme dislike, directed against a certain object or class of objects.. Sadness. An emotional pain associated with, or characterized by feelings of disadvantage, loss, despair, helplessness, sorrow, and rage.. Three different words but yet having one thing the same.. They are all emotions..

In our life there is one moment or moments that we wish we didn't have any of these emotions.. Sometimes they come one after the other.. It doesn't have to be in the right order.. Like, you can love someone, then hate them and then being sad for all the above.. Or the opposite.. I felt love, I felt sadness and I felt hatred.. The one who says that didn't feel any of these emotions is lying..

When I saw Aiden in the store I didn't know what specific emotion I had.. It was sadness more likely.. I hurt Aiden and I didn't want to.. It was something beyond me and seeing him right in front of me, telling me that he was sorry for being angry that night surprised me.. He surprised me because I didn't expect him to talk to me again.. And I have to say that it crossed my mind many times the fact that I was still legally bonded with him.. But I didn't know how to reach him, how to talk to him and tell him that we needed to take a divorce..

When I finished from work I went straight to the hospital to see Spencer.. Usually I didn't when I knew she would be back in the evening but I just needed to see her and tell her what happened.. As always though she was in surgeries and she was doing rounds.. I didn't manage to see her till late at 5pm when pretty much it was her time to come home..

"Hey you.." she looked at me and smiled.. " I am sorry I couldn't meet you earlier.. Is something wrong?"

"Everything is perfect.. I just wanted to see my girlfriend.." I said with the same big smile she greeted me when she saw me and walked closed enough to smell the perfume I bought her a week ago.. Channel No5..

"Ash.. The walls have eyes.. Someone might see us.."

"So? I am not doing anything wrong.."

"If you come any closer though then I will and I really don't want anyone to gossip.. So lets go home so I can greet you properly.."

"I like that thought.."

The apartment was close and we didn't have to take the car.. The last couple of days Spencer insisted for me to learn how to drive.. I liked the idea and I wasn't opposed to that.. So our weekends were educational and I was learning the beauty of how to drive something with four wheels..

"Ms Davies.. After you.." She said and waited for me to get inside the apartment.. Once she was in I took her in my arms and I kissed like I haven't seen her for days.. That was a proper greeting..

"That is a proper greeting.."

"I couldn't agree more.. So are you cooking today or should I cook"

"Spence, when did you cook the last time?"

"Hmm.. That day you came late from work.. I made some pasta.."

"That was.. Lets see.. Three months ago.. Take a shower and I will prepare something for us to eat.."

"I like when you cook.." she grabbed me from behind and started kissing my neck.. Her hands on my abdomen..

"And I like cooking for you.. Now go take a shower.. You smell like hospital.."

"I sure don't.." she said and I had to smile when I looked at her back and she was smelling her clothes..

"Go silly.. I am kidding.."

"Ok ok.. Going.."

A couple of minutes later she was out from the shower and the food was almost ready to be served..

"What the chef cooked today?"

"Some chicken with vegetables and rice.. Something simple.."

"Simple or not its tasty.."

She took the plates and made the table for us to eat.. That was our ritual pretty much every day.. We sat silently enjoying our food, drinking our wine and smiling at each other..

"So tell me.. How was the day at the store.. Did you sell anything?"

"Actually my day was quite interesting.. Aiden came.." she looked at me and wiped her mouth with the napkin..

"Come again.."

"Aiden.. He came by the store with another woman.."

"And.."

"And nothing.. He was ok.. He asked me if I was with you but I didn't answer to him considering I was working.. I told him though I needed to see him.."

"Ok.. That's good I guess.." she said without looking at me.. I know that many things were crossing her mind, like if I would go back to him or things like that.. But she was silly.. Now that I was with her I couldn't go back ever again..

"Spence.. I need to see him for the divorce.. As you know I am still marry to him.."

"I know.. Did you tell him?"

"No.. I told him that I need to see him.. I want to finish with it one and for all.. I already waited for so long.."

"You do that.. I am here.. Whatever you need.." she said and cupped my hand with hers giving it a little squeeze..

"I think I am going to go tomorrow.."

We didn't discuss more about that.. Instead after washing the dishes and drying them we sat on the couch holding each other watching tv.. My mind though was on Aiden and what I would tell him.. How I would tell him and what his response would be.. What if he didn't want to give me the divorce.. What would happen then..

Next morning we woke up together.. Most of the times Spencer was waking up earlier but I woke up with her this morning.. I wanted to have some time with her before we both leave for work..

"I'll come home after work to prepare something for us to eat and then I will go by the house to see him.. Ok?"

"Yes Ash.. I can leave earlier so we can eat together.. What time are you going to go?"

"Aiden is not home before 6pm. So it's ok.. I will wait for you and then I will go.."

We kissed each other and we both started our day with Spencer going at hospital and me going at the store..

Today I really didn't want to be at work.. I had so many things in my mind.. And today from all the other days the store was packed.. When I finally was ready to leave the time was 5.30pm.. We couldn't leave earlier.. I walked faster that I would normally walk and when I got inside the apartment I saw Spencer with an apron and serving the food on the table..

"Hey.. I thought about cooking.. I came earlier and you weren't here so I thought you were running late at work.." she undid her apron and gave me a kiss on the lips taking my handbag and putting it aside.. "Ms Davies.. You may sit.."

"Should I be scared? What did you cook?"

"I made a ham, cheese soufflé.."

"A what?"

"Aww.. And you are working to a store that they speak French.." she put a piece of that soufflé on my plate.. "What is that Spence?"

"Eat it first and then tell me.." when I tasted it I loved it.. It was creamy, it had melted cheese, the ham.. If anything it seemed like macaroni and cheese without macaroni..

"It is good.."

"Thank you.. It's a French recipe.."

"And where did you find it?"

"You seem to forget my dear that I was in France for four years.. I tasted it there one time, I liked it and I asked for the recipe.."

"Where did you eat it? Did you have time to go to a restaurant?"

"I was with someone and they cooked it.." instantly I felt that feeling of jealousy that I didn't know I had till this moment.. I wanted to ask who that person was and where did she know them and questions like that.. But I didn't have the right to..

"It is good.."

An hour later we were both full.. I took a shower and I was ready to leave..

"Spence, I am going.."

"Wait.." she said running from the bedroom wearing her coat.. "I am going to take you there.. It's late and I don't want you to take a taxi.."

"I'll be ok Spence.. Don't worry.."

"Till you learn how to drive.. Then you can take the car.. Let's go.."

It was indeed late and my old house wasn't far away but not close either.. When we were outside I leaned close to her, gave her a kiss and told her that I would call her to come and get me when I would finish.. She waited till Rwanda opened the door and I went inside..

"Ms Ashley.. I didn't expect you tonight.. It's lovely seeing you.."

"How are you Rwanda?"

"I am good.. My knees hurt but I manage.."

"I can tell Spencer to check them if you want.."

"Oh, not to bother Ms Spencer.. It's nothing.. I am just getting old.."

"I would like though for you to come by the hospital and check it.. Maybe they can give you something for the pain.."

"I'll keep it in mind Ms Ashley.."

"Is Aiden here?" before she answers me Aiden did while walking down the steps..

"I am here.." he said and came right next to where I was standing..

"I am going to leave you two alone.. It was nice seeing you Ms Ashley.." she said and went back to the kitchen..

"Hello Ashley.."

"Hello Aiden.."

"I didn't expect to see you anytime soon.."

"I said I wanted to see you to discuss something.. So here I am.."

"Sit please.." he said and I sat on the chair next to the window.. It was my favorite after all.. "So how are you Ashley? I saw that you are working.. That's good.."

"I am good.. Yes, I work there.. It's nice doing something you know.."

"I can tell.."

"And how are you?"

"I am better.. Work is hectic as always but it pays the bills.. But I am sure you didn't come here to hear me talking about my work.."

"I came here to discuss about us.. I want a divorce Aiden.." he got up from where he was sitting and started walking back and forth not saying anything.. "Aiden.."

"I heard you Ashley.."

"I am sorry.."

"You are sorry for what exactly.."

"I am just sorry.."

"A divorce.. It's not very easy to take Ashley.. And what the reason would be? My wife cheated me with another woman?"

"We don't need to say anything like that.. We just couldn't be a couple.. We didn't fit together.."

"In my mind we did.. Are you with her? Are you with Spencer?"

"I am.."

"Are you happy? Does she make you happy? Because I couldn't.." now I was the one getting up from where I was sitting.. I went from behind and hugged him..

"She does.. But in a different way from you.. Aiden, you gave me things that no one could give me.. You were right next to me when I had no one.. And I love you for that.. You are a kind person and you deserve to be with someone who can truly love you for who you are.. And if I might say someone that is not like the woman I saw you yesterday with.." I sensed his smile and when he turned to look at me I could see it as well..

"That.. Lets just say that I am not planning to be with her.. It was a blind date a co worker of mine set for me.. She is not my type.. So don't worry.."

"I mean it Aiden.. I want you to be happy.."

"I am going to start preparing the papers for the divorce.."

Forgiveness.. To grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt

Tonight Aiden forgave me for what happened between us.. He gave me my freedom for one more time.. He will always be a person I truly love..


TBC

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