Sam took Dean out for dinner that night, a last special meal together before his brother drove him to Stanford the next morning. They sat silently waiting for their food, neither knowing what to say to say to each other.

Words of sadness, anger, defeat or wanting seemed almost impossible to express, the brothers had said it all before to each other over and over. Now that the time was here it made it difficult to be the first one to speak.

Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope and slid it across the table to Sam. He picked it up but didn't open it. "What is this Dean?" Dean's hands were folded on the table and he didn't look at his brother, "Open it Sam, its to help you out." Sam tore it open and inside were two bundles of money, Sam counted it and looked at his brother with a worried expression."Dean where did you get this from, there is two thousand dollars here." Dean took Sam's hand in his, running his thumb over the ring. "Its not what you think Sam, I had Bobby sell the Rolex for me. I know you got a full ride but you still need cash Sammy."

"Hey Sam don't look so serious, I didn't want that watch anyway. Too many bad memories attached." Sam's eyes teared up and he wiped them with his sleeve, "Dean what are going to do now, still hunt with Bobby?"

Dean forced a smile, "You know me Sammy, I like to hunt better on my own…or with you. But that isn't ever going to happen is it?"

"Please promise you wont hunt on your own Dean, that's all I'll do is worry about you then." Dean looked past Sam and nothing in particular, "Don't worry about me anymore, you made your choice so let me go then."

Before Sam could answer their food came, Dean ate everything and part of Sam's plus dessert. Dean loved food but when he was feeling emotional he ate even more. Sam was the opposite, he picked at his food and gave it to his brother. When he was stressed he couldn't eat.

Sam had to ask, "What did you mean by letting you go Dean? I love you, I want to make a better life for us someday." Dean shook his head in disbelief, "Come on Sam you know as soon as I get you settled in and leave everything will change between us. You are too damn pretty not to have every male and female after you, I know you want other people. I'm just going to work out my urges and fuck my way to a kind of happiness like I always have, hunt and survive.

He patted Sam's leg, "Don't worry, you can start working on that normal thing you are always bitching about. I give you permission to let me go."

Sam had gotten a room at a motel where they could be together alone their last night until when he didn't know. Dean pulled in and shut off the Impala and sat, it was raining and he just didn't have the energy to even open the car door. Sam got out and opened it for him, he held out his hand and Dean took it. He took his brother to the room, Sam had been there earlier and checked in to get the room ready.

Dean walked in slowly and sat on the bed with his head down, hands covering his face. Another motel, another night with Sam and he tried to pretend that this was another hunt, another crisis averted and he would wake up over and over with him. Nothing would change and he wasn't going to be alone.

Sam lit some candles and put on some music, he knew Dean responded to music on so many levels and as much as he loved classic rock when it came to Sam the sky was the limit. Did it sound how he was feeling at the time about his brother? Then it didn't matter how soft and over the top romantic it was. Sam smiled to himself, he was the only one that knew this about his brother.

Sam brought in a bag for them and he threw it to Dean, "Go change, I brought you your lounge pants." Dean went into the bathroom and wouldn't change in front of Sam. He came back out and sat again on the bed. Sam had changed into the same thing and he was standing there in the candlelight waiting.

"I don't sing very well Dean, promise you wont laugh at me?" Dean shrugged, "Whatever Sam knock yourself out." Sam held out his hand, "Dance with me."

Sam picked out a song and took his brother in his arms, he started to sing, softly and unsure of himself, hoping Dean wouldn't laugh at him.

Dean kissed him, "You sing beautiful baby….really beautiful…I love you Sammy." Dean pulled him into bed and they made love, Dean thought maybe for the last time.

….

Sam went to see Bobby the next morning to say goodbye, Bobby was sitting at his desk holding the photo he took of the brothers together all dressed up. He had been crying and wiped his eyes roughly hoping Sam didn't see him with red eyes. He got up and hugged him tight, "I'm gonna miss you son, don't get too damn important to visit me."

Sam hugged Bobby back, the man that had given them all the love in the world and was like their father. "I'm going to miss you to Bobby, I promise to call or email and I'm going to visit on breaks."

Bobby patted his shoulder, "Come on now, don't fib Sam, when break comes you are gonna be with all the exciting new people and living your life but that's ok son, I'll understand."

Dean stood by the door with Sam's bags unsure of what to do so he waited.

….

The ride was a straight shot, no overnight and they were splitting the ride. Dean drove first while Sam tried to sleep. He had on sunglasses and had balled up Dean's jacket to rest his head on. "Sam why don't you use your jacket for a pillow?"

Sam didn't want to tell him why, because Deans was covered with his scent and Sam was breathing it in, trying to memorize it, the pheromones exclusive to his brother, rich and heady, sexual and musky and an under tone of Dean's blood that had dripped on the fabric. "Dean can I have your jacket?" Dean raised an eyebrow, "Why Sam?"

"Because…..don't laugh…I want to keep it in plastic and when I miss you I can open the bag and breathe you in." Dean did start to laugh, "That is real creepy Sammy, sure whatever floats your boat I guess. You could just stay with me and smell the real thing every night you know, I even promise to get extra sweaty, you can bury your cute nose right in my armpit."

Sam wrinkled his face but didn't say anything, "In fact I promise to exercise hard and have that Conner kid slather me with olive oil afterwards and let him scrape the sweat and oil off, collect it in a perfume bottle and send it to you fresh every week just like the Roman gladiators used to do for the ladies…..or men….after a fight in the arena."

"Jesus Dean, all I want is your jacket, do you have to make it into a big deal? Anyway I doubt you would actually do that anyway….and where in the hell did you read about that?"

Dean pushed Sam's shoulder, "I'm not just a pretty face you know. Keep the jacket Sammy, go to sleep."

…..

They stopped and gassed up the Impala then went to get something to eat, Dean was so tired he could hardly eat without his eyes closing. "Dean lets just get a room for the night and start fresh tomorrow." Dean's eyes were closed and a French fry was hanging out of his mouth, Sam kicked him under that table, "Dean….Dean wake up, lets get this to go and I'm getting us a room."

They found a motel and Sam got them a room for the night. Dean undressed, dropping a trail of clothes to the bed and crawled in. By the time Sam got in he was sound asleep. Sam curled up next to him and rested his head on his chest like always listening to the steady beat of his brother's heart.

….

They got up early and grabbed some breakfast, Sam drove and let his brother relax. Dean watched the scenery change over the miles between South Dakota to California, his stomach wouldn't settle and he started to drink from a flask, finally he drank enough to fall into a fitful sleep of dreams.

….

It started with him walking in a mist surrounded by trees, he was lost and calling for his brother but he couldn't find him. A large black trunk appeared on a forest path with a heavy chain and lock, Dean kneeled down and reached out to touch it, his hand was shaking and when his fingers reached the lock he pulled back, the trunk was burning hot and his finger tips blistered. He stood up and backed away, he ran until he couldn't catch his breath but he was still trapped in the same forest, he heard unseen things waiting for him behind the trees and bushes.

"Help me Sammy please…..Sammy where are you?" He felt the stab of loneliness in his chest and dug his hands into the black earth looking for his brother, he found Sam's knife and slipped it in his belt. "Is there anyone there….anyone at all?" He looked up at the sliver of sky peeking through the dense tree tops, please help me." He clutched the talisman around his neck and cried.

The voice came, the deep, strong comforting voice and arms wrapped around him from behind, Dean relaxed. One of the strong beautiful hands clasped the burned fingers and kissed them, the blisters vanished. "Don't touch the trunk again Dean, it contains nothing but pain, promise me." Dean leaned back against the man he couldn't see and tried to look but the voice whispered to him, "No do not look upon me, close your eyes."

Dean closed them and a mouth went over his and kissed him hesitantly, Dean thought the man wasn't sure of himself. He kept his eyes closed but turned more toward the figure holding him and he pressed his lips against the strangers mouth showing him a passion filled kiss. Dean heard a gasp as he pulled away.

"Please let me see you….please….at least tell me your name." The voice resonated in his ear, "If you think you will remember it was told to you by another, the one who gave you this," Castiel touched his talisman, "It was mine once." Dean opened his eyes, "Castiel?" He turned and nothing was there.

…

Dean bolted awake, he was covered in sweat and breathing heavily. "Dean are you ok?" Sam was worried, Dean had been crying and talking in his sleep. "You were dreaming, what did you dream about?"

"I had a dream I couldn't find you…its complicated and weird but he spoke to me again." Sam frowned, "Who spoke to you?" Dean held the talisman, the angel or man or I don't know, his name is Castiel. The one with the shining blue eyes."

So what does he look like, how do you know he is an angel?" Dean shook his head, "I don't know he doesn't let me look at him." Sam snorted, "maybe he is really ugly."

Dean smiled, "Somehow I don't think he is, his voice sounds so beautiful." Dean put his head back on the seat still smiling to himself and watching the scenery go by.

Sam tightened his jaw, griped the steering wheel and drove faster.

….

"Naughty boy Castiel." Seraphiel leaned over Castiel's shoulder and smiled. Castiel took his hand and pushed his face back, "Go away Seraphiel, I am not in the mood to listen to you today." Seraphiel kissed the back of his brothers neck, "Then what are you in the mood for brother?"

"The kiss you gave the man was hesitant and poorly executed but the one he gave you was passionate and exciting." He breathed in Castiels scent, I can still smell him on you…he smells of sexual experience, masculinity and an over abundance of hormones and emotion."

Seraphiel sat next to Castiel and smiled but it was wicked, "Let me show you how to kiss him brother, I promise if you let me I will not ask this again. Castiel let out a defeated sigh, "You lie, I know you will but may show me just this once."

Seraphiel broke into a smile, he took Castiels hands and placed them around the back of his neck, Castiel couldn't help but feel the soft curls at his nape. "Your hair is quite soft." If Castiels eyes could be described as a rich cerulean and filled with emotion and power then Seraphiels would be the color of pale blue ice, mesmerizing and masterful.

He pulled him into a soft kiss, working his mouth and tongue into Castiels. Seraphiel pulled away, his brother was breathing heavily and locked onto the ice in his eyes. Castiel tried half heartedly to pull away but the angel went in for another kiss harder than the last.

This time it was Castiel that pulled away, "No more Seraphiel." He smiled, "How was the kiss, will you use it on the Winchester man?" Castiel turned away, "Yes I will try, go away."

Seraphiel laughed and kissed the top of his brothers head, "You are such a virgin Castiel, he will have a good time with you."

TBC