Fandom: XXXHOLiC
Characters: Watanuki Kimihiro, Doumeki Shizuka
Theme: 34 – Spare Me
Warnings/Ratings: Uh. Wow, nothing, really. May be a little difficult to read, though.
In A Nutshell: "GOD! IT'S OKAY FOR YOU TO BLABBER ON TO ME ABOUT SELF WORTH BUT THE MOMENT I EVEN ATTEMPT TO GET PREACHY ON YOU, YOU SAY SOMETHING WEIRD LIKE THAT! I GIVE UP."
Disclaimer: I don't own Holic.

Doumeki had invited himself in while Watanuki was cooking dinner for himself so that when Watanuki walked out of the kitchen, plate in hand and prepared to eat, he'd nearly dropped his meal at the sight of the archer sitting at the table, papers spread about him. His face displayed a not-expression of uncaring concentration, and if Watanuki hadn't been so ravenous and fatigued, he'd have hit him.

As it was, he could barely think straight enough to say something to the effect of, "Argh, why are you here, go away, can I not get even two seconds of peace in my life," dropping to the floor with a sigh of defeat before Doumeki could even run half of the sentence through the machine in his head that translated the insanity that Watanuki spewed into something he could understand.

It was surprisingly silent as they ate, the smaller boy picking at his meal listlessly as the larger one didn't bother with hiding the fact that he was consuming the vast majority of the food. When the plate was relieved of its burden, Watanuki brought it to his kitchen and then sat down across from Doumeki again, pulling out his homework, intent upon working on it until he realized that he somehow didn't have a pencil.

"Doumeki, could you spare me a pencil?" When the other boy didn't say anything, he was sure he'd been denied, but a pencil was rolling to him from the other side of the table and the archer was rummaging about his bag for another one. Apparently he'd given him the one he'd been using. That was stupid.

They worked quietly until the smaller boy realized that he had left his English book at school. Though he despised asking for aid again, he looked over at his "rival." "Do you think I could use your English book?" Then, realizing that Doumeki was in the process of using it, he tacked on, "When you're finished with it," but the book had already slid across the table and the archer was somehow working out some equations now. Watanuki looked at him crossly for being such an idiot, but had no choice but to use it as he needed it so badly.

When he had finished, he slid it back to the idiot, who looked at it for a moment, then looked back at his neatly-printed numbers once more.

It was still and silent, but not oppressively so, and after Doumeki had finished his work, he had sat around and stared at Watanuki like the creep that he was until he was kicked out for being such a creep.

Before the irate boy slammed the door on him he muttered, "See you tomorrow," and Watanuki sincerely hoped that was not the case because tomorrow was his day off and that would be like exchanging one form of harassment for another.

Doumeki stayed true to his words and Watanuki disliked him greatly for it. This time he had brought some magazines and was lounging around on the couch as the smaller boy bustled about, doing his chores and ignoring the body on his sofa entirely. When he had finished everything, he hovered near the furniture the archer was draped on as if he were pondering how exactly to sit on it without having them touch, but Doumeki wasn't exactly helping so he reluctantly sat somewhere on the taller boy's legs, very near his lap, to the archer's immense enjoyment.

"Could I borrow one of those?" The sat-on handed the sitter the one he had been perusing and reached for a different one. Watanuki narrowed his eyes in agitation at the display of generosity and snapped the reading material open roughly. It was weird that he kept doing things like that.

After testing this newfound anomaly by requesting several odd items, he came to the conclusion that he could very easily use Doumeki. Granted, it was something he would never do to anyone, but that didn't mean he wouldn't be able to.

"Doumeki, do you think I could borrow a yukata?"

The next day, he had snuck into Watanuki's apartment while he was cooking again, a pale blue yukata in hand and no questions asked.

He'd handed the archer a note in class with a list of things he needed from the grocery store, wholly unsurprised to find him stealing into the apartment with two bags of groceries that evening.

He had made the requests more and more bizarre and was severely angered to find that the idiot would somehow fulfill every last one.

"Could you bring over some new wards?"

"Do you have any leeks at your house that you don't need?"

"You wouldn't happen to have any old hats, would you?"

"Have you got any red paint?"

Watanuki was very tired of how obliging Doumeki was being and wanted to show him how moronic he was being, coming up with the perfect unreasonable demand. This he sprung onto him as they were doing homework once again on a cool Wednesday evening.

"Could I have your soul?" The response came without hesitation, as Watanuki had known it would; a small nod that the archer hadn't even looked up from his papers for. It obviously didn't even register in his mind what he had just consented to giving the smaller boy, as he only continued writing.

"Do you even know what I just asked you? Do you even think at all about the crazy things I've been asking you to get for me?" Doumeki raised his face, looking as amused as he could without changing his expression, and Watanuki knew that this was a very bad sign.

"What makes you think I didn't think about it?" The loud boy's jaw dropped visibly, a testament to the unending entertainment he provided.

"GOD! IT'S OKAY FOR YOU TO BLABBER ON TO ME ABOUT SELF WORTH BUT THE MOMENT I EVEN ATTEMPT TO GET PREACHY ON YOU, YOU SAY SOMETHING WEIRD LIKE THAT! I GIVE UP." Doumeki found the idea of this surrender too good to be true, and was proved to be correct by the heavy kick into his leg from under the table.

It was a funny give and take relationship that they had, but the taller boy thought as he was peeking up from his paper fleetingly to look at a flushed Watanuki who was muttering darkly under his breath, that there was probably nothing he would give it up for.

Except for Watanuki himself, maybe.

Agh. That was random and just. Blarg.

I'm so sorry! I'm only going to be adding one chapter and it has to be this one, which is just. Blarg, right?

Okay, so I have a hypothetical question for you guys!

Let's say there was some crazy person sitting around at your local anime convention, bouncing around in a chair and wearing a nametag that says something to the effect of, "Zwip," who just so happens to be selling some books that just so happen to be fanfictions that it just so happens she will not be posting on the internet.

Let's also say that you happen to have some money that is not dedicated to buying other things.

Would you buy some of my fanfiction?

Especially if it had a pretty cover and I made puppy dog eyes at you from behind the table?

I'm just wondering if it would be an economical idea to attempt to market my work...

By the way (sorry this is going on so long...) if you have any criticisms about weak writing or anything like that, please don't hesitate to tell me!

I really need to be able to improve my writing, after all.

See you soon, hopefully!