A hunting party of two dozen soldiers broken up into pairs were quietly pursuing their quarry through a dense forest. The trees were tall with blue-grey foliage that redirected most of the sunlight away from the rest of the forest floor. Animals with natural, shiny armour went about their business, ignoring their sentient intruders. Trebia was setting, casting shadows over the small biome, changing the presence of hunters and their prey to those more nocturnal in nature.
Among the high branches clung congregations of four-legged bird creatures called vizzards. During the day they were relatively unremarkable but at night their bioluminescent glands on the backs of their legs created a colourful display. Their prey were affectionately referred to as "leaf serpents", they were passive creatures with elongated bodies that wrapped themselves tightly around tree trunks and undergrowth. The serpents had armoured scales for defense but relied heavily on their ability to blend in, they could get up to a metre in length. The longer they were, the longer they had managed to evade the griffon claws of their hunters. The bioluminescent secretions were used by the vizzards to illuminate the serpents, their shiny scales reflected the light and gave away their hiding places. There were a myriad of other animals within the same forest but it was hard not to notice the random droplets of colour that dotted every visible surface.
The relationship between the hunter and the hunted was simple and straightforward. Nature didn't trouble itself with the petty issues of love and lost. There was peace in the forest, either you were alive or you were dead and that's all there was. Magnus envied the animals as he tried to find suitable signs of their passing, it almost felt wrong to enter their domain. Sentient beings had the primal need to consume sustenance as well. The hunt usually provided excitement not obtainable by any other means. He wasn't interested in the thrill, he just needed some activity that would take his mind away from other matters.
"You're exceptionally quiet tonight," Andronicus said in a hushed tone.
"Trying not to scare off dinner," Magnus shushed him. They had already filled their quota for the day, whatever they killed afterwards was for sport and live target practice.
"Usually you enjoy these outings into the middle of nowhere. Upset about a certain pair of someones?"
Magnus had been lining up a shot on a bird in the lower branches of a the nearest tree, trying to get some use out of his new thermal scope. The shot triggered prematurely, too wide to hit its mark, resulting in a flock of birds flying away with a cacophony of sound. The heatsink clamoured loudly as he slapped it back into place. He didn't turn to acknowledge his distraction of a brother, instead he reloaded and began looking for something else to aim at.
"You're supposed to be my spotter, not my gossip partner," he reminded Andronicus.
"I hate it out here, feels like we're being watched. Why'd you bring that Mantis anyway, you're kind of hopeless with it."
"Been awhile, wanted something different. Need to relearn the finer points of making the most of each shot. The Valiant is great for hip fire on the move but it lacks a certain degree of patience and feedback that is more common with other sniper rifles. The Mantis lets you know immediately whether it was a good or bad shot. The recoil is a friendly reminder that you accomplished something, like a friend cheering you on. One shot at a time, unbreakable focus, success or failure determined completely by one's preparation. Put simply, the Valiant is for when things have already gone to hell and you need to turn the tide whereas the Mantis leaves you in full control. Plus it comes with a high dose of nostalgia," Magnus explained the difference between the two guns with the utmost affection and respect.
"I guess there is that sense of familiarity since it is the first gun most of us learn how to use properly. Though that's usually why most people move on to more interesting firearms and never look back at it," Andronicus acknowledged.
"I've never liked changed, the old ways are often the best. Mom taught me how to shoot with one of these. My most vivid memories of her include this gun. She doesn't have much of a soft side but when she's teaching you, you feel like you can do anything.
One time we went into the jungle, just the two of us. It was one of the first times I saw how cutthroat the world could be. It was one thing to know how to kill but it was another to actually do it. Not only that, but to appreciate the methods that allowed one to do it with mercy and respect.
I came face to face with several nasty beasts that day, each time Mom waved her pistol around and protected me without any hint of fear. I finally worked up the nerve to take on a predatory bird, she had shown me how to track it down and I had it cornered. There was a pack of screechers that had been ghosting our movements for much of the day, they waited for me to stop long enough for them to swoop down.
But I wasn't watching them, I was ready to make my first kill, to become a hunter like the very things that were hunting me. Mom grabbed my rifle in one swift motion, she shot at one of them, nailed it right between the eyes before it could take flight. The rest scattered with fear. I wish you could have seen it, she knew exactly what to do, didn't even have to take her time. She let me claim credit for the kill, we took it back home and cooked it up.
That's when I knew I wanted to get better at shooting, until then I found it tedious and almost boring how slow the Mantis fired. Technique without the confidence to back it up is useless, I wanted to impress Mom some day. We didn't talk much during the trip, actions spoke volumes. I learned a lot, somehow I knew would end up teaching others as she had taught me. I wish I could pass that same experience on to my own son."
"Maybe you will. Tarina hasn't exactly disappeared in the dead of night as you expected her to."
"I kind of wish she had," Magnus sighed, his stomach turned at the mention of her name.
"Did you hear that humming noise?" Andronicus asked suddenly, putting his hand up to halt his brother.
"No, you're being paranoid again," Magnus assured him. Nonetheless, he closed his eyes so that he could listen more closely.
"Shh, over there where by that large tree trunk. Get down," Ando took point and Magnus followed him to take cover at his side.
"There's nothing emitting heat nearby," Magnus said after taking a cursory glance through his scope.
"Wrong spectrum to look through. My omnitool is currently scanning for infrared signatures."
"Why, what do you think it is?"
"Not sure, but there's definitely something out there that shouldn't be. Look, did you see that shadow over there?"
"Just a tree branch moving in the wind. Relax, Ando," Magnus said with certainty.
"I feel something, Magnus. You of all people know the value of instincts, they're not wrong."
Something stirred above them, neither could see what it was. The wildlife around them had gone eerily quiet, as if they too noticed something was amiss. Magnus was baffled by the thermal scope's lack of utility, he fell back on more traditional visual cues to guide his aim. The branches gave way as an invisible entity pushed them apart, he fired instantly. The bullet ricocheted off of a metallic surface, the forest lit up as the object exposed itself in response. A thick laser beam, red and crackling with electrical energy, left a trail of fire and smoke in its wake.
"Move, move! Flank it," Magnus yelled as he hastily ran for sturdier cover. He popped the heatsink and prepared to take another shot once he was stationary again.
Andronicus' shot barely missed the round, spherical object. There was no obvious weak spot to exploit. The sphere opened in the middle, looking very much like a giant eyeball, and revealed the nozzle of its laser gun. This time the shot swept upwards in a vertical motion. The synthetic entity, whatever it was, rotated and cast the beam horizontally, showing that the gun was incredibly articulate though slow to shoot. As far as they could tell, there were no other weapons present, the tentacle-like cables hanging from its sides were used for propulsion and sensory input.
"What in the spirits is that thing!"
"Kill it then we can find out."
The brothers alternated their positions, taking turns to shoot and confuse their opponent. Their greatest asset were the armour-piercing rounds loaded in their guns which were designed to penetrate the thick armour of most animals and medium grades of synthetic armour. They kept moving so that the laser wasted time realigning itself. The mechanical creature remained between the two of them no matter which altitude it chose.
"Shoot where the laser comes out. Now!"
"I got it, knocked it off course. Must have lost control of its lateral movement. Get ready to try that again."
"I think it's trying to run," the pair began to chase after it in earnest. "Line one up, Ando. I'm going to stagger it."
"Better hurry."
Magnus used his biotics to drag the creature backwards. Andronicus aimed for the ground beneath it and waited for the right moment. To encourage it into his sights, Magnus placed a singularity above its only escape route. The creature was trapped, a shattering of broken metal and tubing rained down over its deactivated form.
"Looks almost like geth technology."
"Not quite, there's some sort of fluid inside. These cables have organic components. Has to be related to the Reapers."
"Well, it's dead now whatever it is."
"I knew we were being followed, there has to be more of these floating around. It's super creepy, what if it's part of a much bigger Reaper? Let's get as far away from here as possible, I have a really bad feeling about this," Andronicus was genuinely freaked out by their discovery while Magnus was completely fascinated by it, taking little notice of his brother's caution.
"We should take it back with us to study it."
"No way, keep that thing away from me. Even dead gods can dream and that is a nightmare waiting to happen."
"It's probably a scout, why else would it be out here?"
"Who cares, this is a bad place to be. Please, let's go. Get everyone back before we run into more."
"I agree that we can't stay here but it's coming with us, whether you like it or not. The potential intel is too precious to ignore."
Once everyone was gathered around, an awkward silence hung over the group. For months they hadn't had to worry about the enemy. Some considered the creature to be a bad omen, others were eager to finally have a reason to pursue the Reapers. Magnus had to remind them to cull their desire to hunt bigger prey, they had the advantage of surprise on their side. That and they had orders directly from the primarch to be gathering their strength. It was tempting to gather intelligence but they didn't have the proper resources at their disposal. Besides, nobody was entirely sure of what exactly the creature's true purpose was.
"We should keep looking for more, if they are intelligent then they could be communicating our location to the rest," Argus argued. Some nodded their heads in agreement, including Tarina who stood close beside him. "Or this might be a decoy. The others could be waiting to follow us to our base."
"We're out of contact range, we have to head back to let them know what we have found," Magnus countered.
"That's what they want us to do. Why do we all have to go back, send a messenger or something."
"We don't know that there are more of these. In the absence of such information, it would be unwise to send one man on his own."
"Exactly why we should stay out here until we know more."
"We have plenty to eat but the monastery doesn't. They are counting on us to come back. We can't chase vizzards in the dark indefinitely even if that were not the case. Besides, if these things really are a threat, we would be better off fighting them from a position of defense rather that in the open," Magnus was trying to remain calm but internally he was losing his patience with Argus' constant need to test him.
"You can go on if you like old man but I'm not going with you. Who's with me? Let's take a tally of what the others want to do before jumping to conclusions."
"You've been spending too much time with the asari, this is not a democracy. I'm in charge here and I say we turn back now. If we move fast enough, we can be there in two days," Magnus was struggling to keep his anger under control.
"That's a relentless marching pace, surely don't mean to treat us like savage animals," Argus' own tone shifted, he was getting worked up as well.
"Fall in line or get left behind, your choice," Magnus said clearly. He stared at the other man, oblivious to the mood of the crowd around them. He could remember countless lectures from his mother about not tolerating insubordination, trying to recall specific turns of phrase in case he had need of them.
"You're giving my followers too much ammunition here, are you sure that's what you want?" Argus threatened, moving in close to try and intimidate his superior. "They already question your commitment to our mission, your hold is shaky at best. Act like a tyrant and you'll suffer the consequences."
"Is that a genuine threat, Argus? Because I've been dieing to put you in your place," Magnus lunged at the much bigger man and threw him into a the nearest tree, the prickly bark cut into the soft parts of Argus' armour. He grinned when he saw the brief look of pain on his face. What he hadn't counted on was how heavy Argus was, he was already feeling a soreness in his shoulders after pinning him down.
"Careful, you might create a martyr. You have to maintain the right appearances for the sake of the rest who can't think for themselves," Argus continued to taunt him.
"The only person you're insulting is yourself. I don't care what you do so long as you're not undermining the safety of this company. The fleets need us to be ready and all you can do is try to tear us down. No more of these shadow games. Prove your words with the appropriate actions instead of relying on empty threats."
"It's a ploy, even if they do come the war is already lost. We could live our final days in comfort but you'd rather cling to false hope. You're deceiving everyone, the game is over. Accept it."
"I've had enough of this insubordinate talk. You want to play with fire? Fine, consider yourself challenged to a duel of honour, not glory. Not to the death but rather to prove which ideology will be followed from here onwards. The defeated will be forced to swallow his pride, to recognise the merits of the victor. Do you accept?"
"What are the conditions?"
"If I win, I remain in command. If you win, you can do whatever you want, no questions asked."
"Seems fair. What about weapons?"
"None, we will fight barehanded to display our raw strength and prowess for all to see."
"I accept your terms, old man. You're going to regret doing this."
"I look forward to showing you for the coward that you are. For now, we move out."
After a heated exchange on philosophy, the duel challenge provided the best means to settle their differences. To save some face, Argus elected to carry the remains of the Reaper wreckage so that he didn't portray the selfish attitude that he was accused of.
"If we're lucky, that thing will reactivate and suck his brains out," Magnus said callously once Argus could not hear him. Andronicus looked incredibly uncomfortable about being around Reaper technology again. After a long silence, Magnus took a serious tone with him, "You agree with him, don't you?"
"In principle, yes. If Mom wasn't directly involved in this plan, I would have little faith that it could succeed," Andronicus conceded.
"I thought you'd be on my side."
"Are we taking sides now?"
"How can you not see what's going on here? I'm surrounded by stupidity. Expected better from you. But I guess I'm on my own, as usual. Why does it all have to come undone at once? Everyone has their own agenda, we're supposed to be fighting together, not against each other."
"You're being a bit over-dramatic.."
"Am I? You're too scared to even look at the Reapers, Argus is plotting a coup, Tarina is destroying everything she touches. Hell, every time I see Dr. Tomas she is upset about something. I have to do what everyone else is too incompetent to do, I have to keep the threads from unravelling. It's getting to be too much."
"That no excuse for what you just did. Have you lost your mind? Argus doesn't give a damn about honour or reputation. Accidents can happen, no matter what parametres you put in place," Andronicus tried to bring the conversation back to their current situation, he was worried about his brother even if his loyalty was being questioned. "Your motivation is hardly altruistic, don't pretend it is otherwise."
"You don't think there's something going on between them do you?" Magnus didn't really want to know the answer but he couldn't help himself. If his brother could see through him then others could do the same. He didn't want to think about Tarina and Argus spending time together, however, the more he tried to avoid the subject the more his mind kept going back to it.
"It's none of our business if there is. Still doesn't justify your personal need for vengeance. This move could jeopardise more lives than your own."
"Spare me the lecture. Have some faith, would you? I wouldn't issue a challenge if I didn't think I could win."
"I'm not entirely sure you want to win, to be honest. You've been doing a lot of weird things lately, keeping to yourself more and more. Sending more men out to salvage than necessary, pushing everyone too hard. Discipline is one thing but you're going overboard, Magnus. If you ask me, you spend too much time cooped up in that office instead of listening to your troops."
"I didn't ask for your opinion. Anyway, I'm doing the best I can with what I have available. So are you with me or not?"
"You're family, do you even have to ask me that?"
"I wouldn't hold it against you if you changed your mind later. Just give me some fair warning if you do, there's only so much betrayal that I can handle. The road ahead is barely lit, who knows where it might lead," Magnus said ominously, his brother looked at him with worry in his eyes but said nothing.
The duel was brutal, savage by some accounts. The crowd was as restless as the combatants, shifting their bets for extra rations and similar items at regular intervals. Those that were loyal to Argus remained quiet for the first half, unsure whether revealing themselves too soon was a prudent course of action. They feared retaliation if their champion lost whereas their numerous opponents were free to revel in the festivities regardless of the actual outcome.
Magnus felt the immediate effects of a lack of practice, his attempts to replace Tarina with Andronicus in his nightly spar routines had failed quite miserably. Andronicus was more brain than brawn. In addition, his list of phobias was ever growing. The hit to his self-confidence proved to be more detrimental than Magnus' need to hone his own skills. There was no one for Magnus to rely on but himself.
Argus was a huge man, twice Magnus' weight, and he knew how to use the extra mass to his advantage. He fought without any notable pattern, chaotic like Tarina's fury. Unlike her, however, his skills were more refined and deliberate, evidence of a man who had been forced to fight for his life on multiple occasions. It wasn't hard to figure out why given his disrespectful attitude for anyone that wasn't a borderline anarchist like himself.
The fight went on for hours as the pair of them probed each other's strengths and weaknesses. Their differing styles kept everyone entertained though tension began to increase once it became apparent that the two fighters were an equal match. Magnus took the slow, calculated approach of trying to make Argus believe he was winning. Multiple bluffs were seen through but he did not possess the strength to overpower Argus more directly. The lack of any rhythm to the flourish of kicks, punches, and grapples were taking a toll on him physically. He was starting to take his brother's concerns more seriously, his opponent was relentless and would not hesitate to deliver a fatal blow should the opportunity present itself.
Jab, jab, uppercut, cross both arms to block. This continued over and over with Magnus on the receiving end. He couldn't figure out why Argus had suddenly decided to try the same attack combo, it could have been a sign that he was running out of ideas. On the third try he got creative by adding a high kick to the mix. The kick found its mark, the boot-covered talons landed harshly, scraping a layer of carapace scales away from Magnus' exposed midsection, on his right flank below his ribs. He fell to one knee instantly to prevent another blow from reaching the same spot, his hand pulled away from the wound with fresh blood tripping between his already darkened talons. Argus didn't wait for him to recover, a wrestle ensued on the ground while Magnus tried to pin his attacker into a debilitating headlock. A rather powerful headbutt broke his grip, sending him reeling backwards along the flagstones.
For all intents and purposes, it appeared as if Argus had him where he wanted. Talons and spurs locked, more blood began to pool around their feet. Both were severely injured, a loud crack accompanied the punch that Magnus had just delivered into his opponent's gut. Argus rolled off of him to bunch up and protect his vulnerable stomach. Magnus followed up with more powerful punches aimed at his shoulders, he had been reserving all of his strength for that particular moment. They were tired and dehydrated, surviving through attrition would be the only way to ensure victory. Argus had no fight left in him, exhausted from his previous bursts of energy. Magnus capitalised and nearly beat the other man to the edge of his life before someone intervened.
"Stop it, you've won. That's enough," someone yelled out, the rest of the crowd agreed.
Argus' face was a mess, scratches covered his body. Out of the crowd emerged a worried looking Tarina. For a split second, Magnus thought she was going to congratulate him but instead she went over to Argus' limp form and offered him assistance back to his feet. Had she been there the whole time? He couldn't recall seeing her face in the crowd though he had hoped she was present to see his glorious triumph. She didn't look at Magnus at all, he was sure he caught a smirk on Argus' face as he walked away with his arm held firmly over Tarina's shoulder. The fight had already robbed Magnus of all his stamina, the victory itself had left him feeling empty and hollow.
He blacked out, collapsing suddenly, the crowd had long disappeared already. When he came to, Dr. Tomas was bent over him, cradling his head and wiping away the blood from his cheeks. She kept asking him to move his legs but he she sounded too far away. How much blood had he lost? What did it matter. Tomas was a small woman, even by human standards, but she managed to haul Magnus to his feet. Where had Andronicus disappeared to? Shouldn't he be helping Tomas?
Slowly, painfully they made their way to the empty infirmary where Magnus was encouraged to lay on an examination bed. Tomas handed him a glass of water and told him to take little sips before she disappeared for a few minutes. When she returned, she was carrying one of his clean tunics. He watched inquisitively as she went about grabbing gause and disinfectant, taking note of the stitching kit that she also brought over to his bedside. Why was she fussing over him, she should have let him drown in his own blood and sorrow. She didn't say too much, her hair has been pulled up into a loose bun at the back of her neck so that it would not interfere with her work of cleaning his wounds.
So many unbidden feelings swept through Magnus as he laid there, his stomach was full of lead. Andronicus had been right, he had nearly endangered everyone for no good reason. The image of Tarina coming to Argus' aide flashed through his mind again, had she been the one yelling at him to stop? It was salt in the wound, losing her had been hard enough. He felt something pull him back to the present, Tomas ws aligning the severed tissue on his lower back to prepare it for stitch work.
"I'm sorry, there's not enough localised anesthesia to go around. The thing about carapace is that it takes so long to regrow, the tissues needs to be put back together right away," she explained calmly in response to his jerky movements, "Hold still, try to think of something pleasant."
"Easy for you to say," he said between clenched teeth. The physical pain didn't bother him as much as it ought to have, it was almost cathartic.
"You guys really went at each other," she tried to keep him talking as she delicately fed the biothread through the edges of his sensitive underskin.
"Why aren't you patching him up? Pretty sure I broke some ribs among other things," he wasn't trying to gloat though it did feel good to remind himself that he had actually won.
"Well, that's unfortunate for him," she said with a hint of derision. "He doesn't trust me, none of his people do. I'm no stranger to prejudice, the signs are always very obvious. Argus is brilliant at weaving tales, manipulating others to see what he wants. Sprinkle in a little truth such as my lack of military training and tell them my position was given to me as some sort of peaceful compromise between our people rather than merit and the seeds of contempt are sown. It furthers his agenda and makes me look like a scapegoat, a symbol of everything that ought to be despised.
Needless to say, I've had very few patients lately, there are other medics that can handle the workload. Granted, none of them are qualified surgeons like me so that makes things a little problematic. I think what irritates me the most are the parents that refuse to allow a human to vaccinate their children, especially when we have plenty of inoculations available. I'm here to help, if I can't do my job then what do I do?
I can't change their minds and no, I'm not asking you to do it either. Sorry, didn't mean to rant at length like that, guess it has been building for awhile and there's no one else to talk to."
Magnus could completely emphathise with her. The duel had bought him some time, he was still likely to lose the respect of his troops if he didn't find a more permanent solution to raise morale. Argus' faction had their talons dug in deep, they would not be easily dislodged. Normally he would have been angry to hear Tomas' recounting of her frustrations, injustice always had that effect on him. But he was so numb to everything after the duel, he couldn't do anything for her nor could he see an obvious solution for his own troubles. He was grateful for the pain that derived from the mending of his wounds, without it he would think he were asleep or perhaps dead.
"There's a surprise, not a mere separatist but also a repugnant supremacist. I should never have let him in, though it wasn't exactly my first mistake. Seems to be a reoccuring theme lately," he said it more to himself than to her.
"You had to do it, honour demanded that you did. What you couldn't have predicted was what would have transpired afterwards, of which none is your fault."
"I should have known better."
"You're not indestructible, Magnus. Neither of us is," she finished the stitching and went back to cleaning up the dried splotches of blood on his scales.
Her smooth fingers felt refreshing against his skin, the lack of friction allowed her to massage the muscles as she worked ointments into the open wounds. He was sure that she was doing him the favour as more than his doctor, some of her touches did not correlate with areas that needed treatment. She was gentle and subtle at her task, if he closed his eyes long enough he could feel the warm breezes of Invictus brushing against him.
"Why are you being so kind to me?" he whispered, afraid that he might interrupt her.
"Because that's what friends do for each other," she said simply, working her fingers along his shoulders with one hand while the other had its omintool actively scanning for any other problems.
"I've had plenty of colleagues but none that I'd call friends. Well, there was one but she's gone now. If my mother knew I was associating with humans, she'd probably kill me."
"You're a grown man, what does it matter what your mother thinks?"
"She's fifth tier, she adds great weight to our name. Each of us is responsible for upholding that reputation. But you're right, I can do whatever I like. So thank you for your efforts, though I don't think I'm deserving of them."
"You're so hard on yourself. If you wanted my medical opinion, I'd suggest that you're showing early signs of depression. What's really bothering you?" she looked at him with sadness in her grey eyes, he knew she was telling the truth.
"I've wasted so much of my life thinking that impressing my superiors was all I had to do. Too focused on duty and honour. I was supposed to follow in my mother's footsteps. To some extent, I did. But at what cost? I'm just another cog in the machine, a broken one at that. I'll bring disappointment to my family some day with nothing to make up for it."
"I've heard that too much stress can break soldiers. Is some of the extra pressure that you put on yourself due to your being a biotic?"
"How do you know that?" he asked with surprise.
"I was doing a full scan, the neural hardware is difficult to ignore. Human doctors are trained to recognise a biotic amp when they see on so that we can deliver specialised care. I know the social stigma regarding biotics is different for you but we try to be more open-minded about such things."
"You can't tell anyone that you know about this, do you understand?" he begged her.
"I take patient confidentiality very seriously, don't worry," she assured him.
"To answer your question, I don't know. Living in the cabal gave me purpose, it freed me from the trivial matters of relationships and emotional stability. Or at least, that's what I assumed until recently. How could I be so blind and ignorant? They used to call me a strategic genius but what do I know about anything that actually matters?"
"We're social creatures, not synthetic robotics. You can't just cut off your ability to feel or understand other people," she reminded him. It was a simple truth that had evaded him for too long.
"The weird thing is that I'm not mad about Tarina rejecting me, I'm more worried about her welfare. Who can look after her better than me? My own happiness is of no consequence. What happens when she struggles, who will be there to save her? Certainly not Argus, he'd rather protect his own skin. And Marius, what's going to happen to him? I've never been so powerless," he looked down at his palms, he wanted to strangle something. Dr. Tomas placed her hands on top of his, they were tiny and pink, harmless really.
"Losing the one you love most isn't easy but at least yours is still alive," she said quietly, "I know how you feel, believe me."
"I was practically invisible to her," he sighed.
"This is getting a bit too deep," she squeezed his hands then let go. "Maybe some alcohol will help us alleviate these negative feelings."
"Is that your top medical advice, Doc?"
"It is. I've been waiting for a good excuse to drink this bottle, seems as good a time as any," she pulled out a bottle and two crystalline glasses which didn't seem to serve any medical purpose from under her desk. Magnus wondered if she took to drinking regularly, maybe there weren't many differences between their species after all.
"That better not be compliments from Argus," he warned as she approached.
"Definitely not. It was a gift from Kallium. We took refuge at a bar in the middle of a small town during a storm. The original owner must have been a collector, there were bottles from every nook and cranny of the galaxy in that cellar. I think Kal could tell I was miserably homesick. He recognised the writing on this bottle of Irish whiskey, I didn't have the heart to remind him that I was English and didn't actually like whiskey. He was such a sweetheart, I really miss him," she paused, rubbing the bottle absently for a few seconds before redirecting her attention to Magnus, "Anyway, been holding onto this for awhile, thought it might get used for a special occasion.
"Don't waste it on me."
"Nonsense, we're both in need of higher spirits. Besides I need you to stay a bit longer so I can rule out a concussion, you hit your head pretty bad after the fight. We don't have any ice, kind of ironic given how cold it is outside," she gave an impish grin then handed him one of the full glasses, "Best to down it all in one go."
"To friendship," he raised the glass to meet hers.
"May it last forever," she completed the toast.
The smell was unfamiliar to him, the syrup-like viscosity made the liquid heavy and unappealing. The taste didn't kick in until a couple of seconds after he had drank it, he was unable to discern any individual flavours. A burning sensation crept slowly through every fibre of his being, his throat felt as if it was on fire. The alcohol awoke his senses, not in a pleasurable way but rather it felt like he had been slapped hard in the face.
"That was disgusting," he doubled over and heaved, trying to get his breath back.
"I agree," Tomas said between noisy coughs of her own. "Want another?"
"Are you sure you're not trying to poison me? Alright, but only if you have one too," he extended the glass to be refilled. The distraction was welcomed even if he could not fully enjoy the experience.
"Sure, but this stuff has more kick than I am comfortable with. Think I need to sit down for a second."
"You can join me, there's enough room," Magnus swung his legs aside to make his point then offered her a helping hand.
She accepted his invitation with a warm smile. He enjoyed the tactile contrast between her smooth skin and his rough fingers, he almost didn't want to let go. When she was comfortable, he poured the next round. There were no words spoken for the second toast, both were too busy watching the other. They waited for the foul sensation of the alcohol to subside then placed the empty glasses aside. Suddenly they were aware of their close proximity to one another.
They were practically sitting on top of each other, Magnus could make out every detail of her face. His bare chest was still exposed, a shiver went through him as he looked into Tomas' eyes. It could have been a chill or it could have been the feeling of being close to someone he was growing to admire. Dr. Tomas undid the bundle of hair at the back of her neck, confident that her work was one. They continued to look at one another, waiting for someone to say something. The pain from the duel had faded away like a distant memory. He couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or something else but he felt at peace in the human's company. She wasn't judging him. His own brother was more likely to abandon him than she was. He could feel her hand in his again, soft and petite. What was the gesture supposed to mean?
Without preamble, she leaned in as if to whisper something but instead ended up kissing him on the mouth with her prominent, plush lips. He should have been horrified by her blatant disregard for his personal space. Too shocked to pull away, he waited for her to stop of her own accord. But she pressed on, delicately at first, searching for the right angle. It was incredibly awkward though he was enamoured with the amount of attention she was giving him. One of her hands cupped his chin, brushing gently against the underside of his mandibles. He worried momentarily about hurting her with his rough edges and much sharper teeth, the kissing intensified despite these concerns.
Together they found rhythm and harmony in their movements, it worked much better when he reciprocated. His own hands moved to hold her close, one reaching for the nape of her neck to play with the loose strands of her hair. Everything about her was alien and wonderful, the feather-like hair, the roundness of her ears, her pointed nose. He couldn't get enough, thoughts of his misfortunes relating to Tarina had completely escaped his mind as he tried to indulge himself.
Dr. Tomas was playful, affectionate, and most importantly, she was there when he needed her. She had provided him comfort when he was at his lowest point, he didn't feel ashamed in her presence. Her breathing began to increase as they continued. He was sure he could hear her heartbeat as well. One of her hands was slowly rubbing the strands of his crest, she had to have known the effect it would create. Her other hand was roaming over the thicker plates of his torso, following the scales downwards. He knew where she was going and part of him wanted to entertain the notion. The reasonable half of him couldn't allow it, a short moment of lust could result in long term repercussions that weren't worth it.
"This isn't fair," he said at last, grabbing her wrist gently and pulling her away. She looked confused, too swept up in the moment for logic to register. "I appreciate everything you've done for me but this can go no further. Neither of us in in a stable state of mind right now. I will not replace one heartache with another, your friendship is more valuable to me than that. I should go."
He jumped down from the bed and went to put his tunic on. The confusing emotions from before were resurfacing, he couldn't believe what he had just been about to do. How had he slipped up so bad, how far had he fallen? The doctor's diagnosis had cut deep, he knew the signs from previous experience. He wanted desperately to make sense of it all but he had already pushed Tarina away, he couldn't lose Tomas too.
Cautiously he turned to look at her before leaving. He wasn't sure what compelled him to reach up and kiss her one final time. She didn't question his decision, rather she actually understood that he was trying to do the right thing for both of them.
"I'll be right here if you need me, you don't have to face anything alone," she whispered. He wanted to say something but words failed him so he left it at that.
His heart felt like a battleground where unknown forces were fighting for control over the rest of his body. The numbness was returning, a haze hung over every thought he tried to conjure up. He could hardly remember what had happened with Argus and Tomas. Later he would fall back on the memory of kissing Dr. Tomas to sustain him when he had nothing else to cling onto.
"This is terrible news," Admiral Thorn said while pacing in and out of the hologram's viewing range. Marcus Thorn watched her warily, the expression on his features mirrored her concern.
"It's not as bad as you're making it out to be, he'll recover eventually," Andronicus said dismissively.
"Time is not on our side," Marcus responded quietly.
"I don't like hearing things like this second-hand, why didn't you tell us sooner?" Sibyl paused long enough to stare at her youngest son until he looked away, "This unprofessional behaviour reflects poorly on all of us."
"Careful Sibyl, or our son may think reputation matters more than the mental well-being of his brother. Surely family is the real priority here," Marcus cautioned his wife. Sibyl had always struggled to maintain the proper balance between her career and her children, she relied heavily on Marcus' input to focus her back on the essentials.
"You're right," she said after a deep breath. "Primarch Victus said that Magnus had been missing some of their meetings. The ones he does show up for have caused him to question whether Magnus is truly ready to lead the operation. His exact words were: 'His body is there but his spirit is not.' And you're only now telling me that he hasn't seen his heir, er, son," she tried to avoid Marcus' harsh glare, "For several weeks? Whoever this woman is, it's clear that she is incredibly important to him. Losing her is having drastic, immediate consequences."
"Hasn't everyone gone through something like this before, he's hardly a unique case," Andronicus said with annoyance, he was getting tired of everything being about his brother.
"I don't think you fully appreciate the gravity of this situation. Magnus is in command, he does not have the freedom to pursue personal vendettas," Marcus tried to explain.
"I get that but it's not like he's lost a leg or anything, he could still fight the same as he always has," Andronicus argued.
"When you were boys, you looked up to your brother with the utmost adoration. He could do no wrong in your eyes. But this blinded you to his true nature," Sibyl stopped her pacing, she looked to Marcus for reassurance before continuing on. He rubbed her back softly while she reflected on the past, "Magnus has always been prone to depression, he internalises his struggles so that nobody can see them. But I am his mother, we share a bond that is unbreakable. Ask yourself when was the last time you saw him get upset about anything."
"He did beat the shit out of a guy the other day, but that was a rare occurrence," Andronicus interjected.
"Emotion is a weakness, it costs lives," Sibyl continued. "We thought he had learned how to mitigate this problem when the cabal took him away. There was a period of three years after basic when we did not hear from him. One particular mission rattled him, it made him realise the value of having people in his life that cared about him. But he was reluctant to accept that notion, relying on others beyond a combat scenario meant he wasn't in complete control of his own destiny.
He holds people at a distance, follows and gives orders without question. I used to think that was a good attitude to have, keeping his personal and professional lives distinct and separate. However, I now question his lack of empathy as a result of me being too focused on myself when I should have been spending time nurturing him."
"Sibyl, we've been through this, you did the best you could," Marcus said softly behind her.
"You say that but the timing was all wrong, I still feel responsible. We had no idea that Magnus was a biotic. As far as he was concerned, life was too short but instead of seizing every opportunity that he was given, he did the opposite. He wanted to make the world a better place for everyone else, it was the least he could do. He thought of himself as a liability, taking personal responsibility to minimise the damage that he assumed he would create.
I'm sure I can take some of the blame here, I should never have let the doctors get close to him. Whenever I got sick, and for awhile that happened quite often, they would insist on testing and analysing him as well. So he grew up thinking he was sick when he was not. That's why he became detached and withdrawn, he didn't want others to suffer on his account.
I pushed him so hard, it was a terrible mistake. I wanted him to appreciate value of hard work, but that seems to be all that has sunk in. We often hide our emotions from public view, Magnus hides them even from himself. The idea that he is capable of falling in love brings me so much hope and joy, perhaps I didn't entirely let him down."
"So now that he no longer has that, we're somehow at risk of him going crazy? What are you trying to say, Mom?" Andronicus was a lot more concerned than he had been at the start of the conversation.
"I'm sure he has experience some of this before but it's different when there's a child involved. No doubt he is blaming himself for everything. I'm worried about his lack of self-preservation, that can have a trickle down effect for anyone he leads.
All I can discern from the type of missions the cabals undertake is that they are both physically and mentally demanding, the sort of thing Magnus thrives on. Without a challenge, he will stagnate and lapse back into bad habits. If he's not working, his mind wanders into a downward spiral. He won't ask for help, but that doesn't mean he doesn't need it.
I hate being so far away. I have already tried requesting that my ship be placed in the vanguard but it was denied, we will be coordinating with the majority of the fleets instead. When the assault begins, everyone needs to be at their best. Despite Magnus' stubbornness, you must find a way to get through to him before we arrive. You are the only one of us close enough to do anything."
"Why do I have to do everything? He's already shut me out. And don't think that I don't have my own problems to contend with," Andronicus was less than pleased, he was regretting asking for advice in the first place. He had expected his parents to tell him everything was fine, instead everything appeared far worse than he imagined it to be.
At that moment, the door opened and for a fleeting second, Andronicus thought Magnus had shown up to free him of his new burden. Unfortunately it was the small form of Dr. Tomas which emerged carrying a pile of datapads. She placed them on Magnus' desk before realising that she was intruding.
"Andronicus, what are you doing here? Have you seen Magnus recently? Actually since I have your attention, I can tell you the results of your psych evaluation. I can't clear you for combat duty though I suspect you already knew that. You're displaying the classic symptoms of PTSD. I'm sure this is the source of your recent insomnia. That's where I'd like to begin working on treatment, when you're up to it."
"Can we talk about this later? My parents are already worked up enough as it is," he said, trying to hurry out of the room.
"Oh, how rude of me," Tomas finally took notice of the holographic display. "Usually Magnus is holed up here alone, you said you haven't seen him?"
"I assumed he was visiting you," was Andronicus' response.
"He has been avoiding me since the evaluations began, which is ironic given that he ordered me to do them."
"Those orders came directly from the primarch," Sibyl clarified, she was about to say something else before she noticed the insignia on Tomas' uniform. "Everyone is to be assessed and amply prepared for longterm combat. This is the absolute worst time for Magnus to be going AWOL on us."
"It isn't like him," Tomas agreed. "I'll go find him. Stay here in case he comes back, Ando."
"Citizen, will you do me a favour?" Sibyl addressed Tomas specifically, "Remind my son that his family loves him very much. He has orders to carry out and much to do. Lives depend on him but what's most important is that takes care of himself. He has to find a reason to keep fighting. Say whatever you need to in order to pull him out of this pit of despair, please."
"I will, sir," Tomas gave her best Hierarchy salute before disappearing.
Magnus watched patiently as his brother's knife tumbled end-over-end above him. The jagged edges indicated that it had been a ceremonial device at one time, a knife designed for carving through tough leather and carapace. It was not a hunting implement but rather a murderous weapon. The metal was well-polished, he could make out his reflection in its flat surface. The dark eyes, the morbid frown, traces of cracks between his nose and cheeks. He looked like a long forgotten statue, torn apart by the elements. The blade stopped with the pointed end only millimeters away from his face, a biotic stasis field held it motionless in place. He grabbed the handle and threw it up again, repeating the motions absently while daring the knife to strike each time.
The winds picked up but he could not feel their bite. He thought he heard the echo of footsteps climbing the stairs up to his precarious perch. Defiantly he remained on his back, continuing his dangerous game undeterred by the impending intrusion. In the distance he could make out a space battle between some fighters and a destroyer, he had been silently cheering for the destroyer to put an end to the charade. The incoming clouds obscured his view putting an end to his mild amusement.
"There you are, been looking everywhere," Dr. Tomas' sweet voice said between long gasps for air, the stairs had evidently exhausted her short legs.
The knife came down once more, the distraction cause a lapse in Magnus' focus. One edge cut deep into the palm of his outstretched hand, a refreshing reminder that he could still feel something. He wanted to examine the damage, to relish the incident, but he didn't want to draw Tomas' attention. He nudged the knife away with a biotic push, taking no notice of where it landed.
"You'll freeze to death out here," she said loudly over the howling wind.
"That's the idea," he whispered. He knew she was looking for a way to cheer him up but he wanted no part in it. She nearly tripped over the knife in the darkness while making her way over to him. Upon realising what it was, she chucked it over the edge of the balcony. Magnus was marginally disappointed to lose it.
"What's wrong and don't lie to me," her tone was severe, she was close enough that he could look into her eyes.
"A better question would be what's right. What's worth living for?"
"This is ridiculous, Magnus. You've been sulking for weeks. How much power does this girl wield over you?"
"I'm nothing, everything is meaningless. She helped me to see that. Leave me alone, Doc."
"She's wrong, you're important to a lot of people. We need you. I need you."
"That's too bad. Maybe Argus is right, we can't possibly win. We should be put out of our miseries, our time has come and gone. These are truly the end days."
"They don't have to be," she reached out to touch him but he pulled away, showing her his back instead. It was insulting gesture but he no longer cared what anyone thought of him.
"It's not the same for us, they can smell fear. They know when their leader is weak. The chain of command must be replaced, if they put Argus in my place then they are well within their rights to do so. There's nothing to be done about it," he explained in an alarmingly calm voice.
"You're just going to roll over and take it?" she was shocked by his indifference.
"What else can I do? I've taken bullets that hurt less than this, Doc. Everything is agony, it's unbearable. Knowing what could have been then losing it is far worse than never knowing in the first place. She can do better, Marius deserves more. If this is all it takes to tear me apart, what good can I possibly do for them?"
"Are you really going to give up? What if she falls again, who will be there? This isn't you, you've risen above setbacks before."
"She gave me the will to overcome them. What's the point now? Without people to look after, I am nothing. Don't you see what a big waste of time life is?"
"Magnus, please, she'll come around if you give her the chance," she knelt beside him, shaking, afraid that he might do something rash.
"I can't wait forever. There's one last thing I can do for her that she can't refuse," he turned to look at Tomas, his bravado dissipated when he saw her expression.
"Don't be so quick to throw your life away," she was begging him, already connecting the dots.
"A man without anything else to lose is extremely dangerous. This is the best thing for everyone, before anyone else has to suffer for my mistakes."
"I can't stand to see you like this," tears were forming in the corners of her eyes.
"It will all be over soon. All I want is to fade away," his voice was barely a whisper.
"I can't allow that, I won't. You need a good doctor to make you better again, here I am," the compassion in her voice swayed him slightly.
He leaned over to put his head in her lap, no longer as confident as he had been when she arrived. The darkness was choking him, he could do nothing more to prevent it from closing in. The human rubbed the back of his neck, holding him tightly against her chest. He felt her tears fall onto his skin.
"Help me," the words slipped out as he was overcome with emotion.
She clutched at him hard like a mother holding a child. Her arms enveloped him, cradled his head, gave him shelter. He was losing his grip but Tomas was there to keep him from falling. It wouldn't change his decision, events had already been set in motion. If anything, he was saying goodbye to her in the only way that he could.